When the world is only sad, I still love life.

The wind in the city is very strong and noisy, especially at dusk. The street was crowded with people, and passers-by walked side by side, making the figure of a person in northern Jiangsu even thinner and tighter.

The single in the ear circulates "Glass Bridge", and Subei wears tight headphones and turns the sound to the maximum, as if it can isolate the laughter outside. She dragged her feet slowly, and every step was heavy.

"Then I'll cross the bridge."

"More than a million reasons to stick to it"

It is these two sentences that are sung in the song. When Subei's heart is tight, she will burst into tears.

It has been more than a year since she graduated from college, but she still lingers on the edge of the city like duckweed, with no fixed place to live. The city that I yearned for and the world that I expected in college are beyond recognition under the impact of reality.

It's not that easy.

The world is far more bony than imagined.

Subei looked at the mobile phone, and the time just stopped at half past six. The sky is still bright, and the sunset in the west is still half, stubbornly and stubbornly spreading in the corner.

Walking blankly, there was a sudden burst of noise in the crowd, and the sound passed through the music in the earphone and reached her eardrum.

"Someone is going to commit suicide!"

Subei looked up in surprise at the place where the crowd was watching.

There is a thin girl standing on the roofs of some old buildings. She stood outside the guardrail with her head down, as if the wind would fall gently.

The crowd was still talking, and Subei heard the horns of police cars and ambulances in the distance. She breathed a sigh of relief quietly, then looked up, and Subei thought she saw herself.

02

Once, there was a diary written for a long time in northern Jiangsu.

M is the name of the diary.

M is full of sadness in northern Jiangsu. From losing the eraser in primary school to quarreling with friends in junior high school, M is very heavy and tired to hold.

It's all trivial things, and she feels the same way, but that's now. At the beginning, at that immature age, northern Jiangsu classified these things as "the root of life failure and pain."

"My name is Subei, and I am very sad recently."

On the first page of the diary, when she was young, she wrote such a line with a pen.

The whole diary is only half written. It is like a tree hole, which has no other use except to fill in some "failures and roots".

"I lost something and I can't find it anywhere."

"I didn't do well in the mid-term exam and didn't dare to tell my parents. I am afraid that they will hit me. "

"I quarreled with my good friend. It's obviously not my fault, but she said she would never talk to me again. "

…………

"I feel that life is so hard that I can't persist."

"I'm sorry."

Until the end, Subei wrote such a sentence, and on the next page, she also put a "suicide note".

What is the content of the "suicide note"? She can't remember clearly. Anyway, it's just some childish and sour words

As for why I wrote this "suicide note", northern Jiangsu still clearly remembers it. This is a stupid reason, so stupid that she laughs to herself every time she recalls it.

03

That was seven years ago.

At that time, Subei had just entered high school, and the school was far from home, and it took more than an hour by car, so she chose to live on campus. This is her first time to live on campus. There are four people in a dormitory. Except for her, the other three know nothing about height and figure.

Subei is very uneasy, expecting and afraid.

She left school early, got the key to the dormitory, and climbed to the fourth floor with her parents carrying heavy luggage. After finding the dormitory, Subei chose a bunk bed. Make the bed, clean the cupboard, put clothes, put shoes ... just finished everything and didn't have time to rest, I saw a girl with short hair standing at the door panting.

The girl just put the suitcase on the ground when a man turned around and ran down again.

The greeting hand in northern Jiangsu still stays in mid-air, and she can only passively put it down.

After mom and dad left, the other two girls came late. One has long shawl hair, and the other has a tall ponytail. They don't look that close.

This is also the case.

There are two things that I am most afraid of when I live on campus: one is that my roommates don't agree with me, and the other is that everyone gets along well except myself.

These two points happened to be met in northern Jiangsu. * * * In a room, the three of them will always forget her existence, tell jokes, gossip, watch TV, distribute snacks and ignore her forever.

During that time, Subei was extremely sad.

She writes world-weary words in her diary every day and fantasizes about suicide every day.

Even, she wrote a suicide note and put it in her diary for a rainy day.

However, until graduation, Subei had no chance to make the suicide note public.

In what she often said, "I really want to die. It would be nice if it could all end, but I dare not and can't bear to be separated from the world. "

"How lucky I am! Love for the world finally defeated hatred. "

"Many times, we love life far more than we think."

Therefore, the suicide dream that began in northern Jiangsu at an early age has never been realized.

04

Subei looked up until the girl who tried to commit suicide was rescued, and then threw herself in the arms of her relatives and cried.

At this time, it was already dark and the night came to an end. The crowd dispersed with a sigh, and Subei touched her stiff and sour neck, and she heard the sound of "purring" in her stomach.

After the meal, my stomach is still empty. Subei is very hungry, and his eyes are dizzy with hunger. She rubbed her wet eyes, looked around and walked into a small restaurant nearby.

When she sat down, she heard the owner of the restaurant sigh and say, "How can such a small child figure it out?"? What has she experienced? "

"Life is still so long, where is the end?" Subei heart also secretly added.

Then, she ordered a table full of food, and while eating, she couldn't help choking.

No way, even if there is only mourning in the world, you should love life.

Is reluctant, but also helpless.

Text/Su Mi

The main idea of the lyrics is: "I will cross that bridge."

"There are always countless reasons to keep me going."

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