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Classic children’s joke stories

Summary of classic children’s jokes and stories

Short and practical! I have compiled them below for you to enjoy.

1. Do not pick up lost items on the road

The father took his son to the park and saw a lot of scraps of paper thrown on the ground, so he said to his son: "You must be careful in your behavior." Public ethics, if you see scraps of paper on the ground, pick them up and throw them into the trash can. ?

Son: ?But the teacher taught us not to pick up lost things on the road!?

2. Mom also lays eggs

At the dining table, my son ate eggs happily. . ?Is it delicious? Be good!? Mom asked happily.

? Delicious. ?

?You only know how to eat and what makes eggs? Dad wants to test his son.

?Chickens lay eggs, ducks lay eggs, and geese lay eggs. ?

?What else is there to lay eggs? What else? Dad kept asking.

The son was asked. After a while, he answered: "Mom also lays eggs!"

The mother was stunned, and the father hit his son in the face with a "snap". The son was unconvinced and shouted: "You often call me a fool, wasn't I born to my mother?

3. Road zipper

Xiao Ming follows his father through a newly built zipper every day. Go to kindergarten on the road. In the first week, a ditch was dug on the road, and his father told Xiao Ming: "This is the water company installing water pipes." ?

The second week, the road was filled, but it was dug again. Dad told Xiao Ming: This is the power supply bureau installing underground electricity. ?

On the third week, the road was filled, but it was dug up again. Dad told Xiao Ming; "This is the gas company installing gas pipelines." ?

On the fourth week, the road was filled and dug up again. This time I didn’t see anyone present. My father guessed: "This is probably because the Urban Development Bureau is installing sewer pipes." ?

Xiao Ming asked his father strangely: Why do they dig and fill the road? Why don’t they do it together?

Dad explained: Because each project does not belong to one System management. ?

Xiao Ming asked: "Then why not install a zipper on the road? Aren't they afraid of trouble digging and filling in like this?

4. The cat does not wear wooden slippers

?When the cat walks, there is no sound of footsteps. What is the reason?

?This is because it is not wearing wooden slippers. ?

5. Never seen it before

Mom: Look at your hands, how dirty they are! When have you ever seen my hands as dirty as yours?

Daughter: "No, Mom. I have never seen you when you were as old as me.?

6. Go home dead

There was a primary school student who often He wrote "Umbrella" as "Ming". One day it rained after class and he didn't bring an umbrella, so he wrote a note to his classmates and asked his mother to bring an umbrella to school. Go home without your life, please come quickly. ?

7. Pears in the Mirror

Mother: Why are you eating pears in front of the mirror?

Daughter: ?Isn’t this how you can eat two pears?

8. Draw inferences from one example

?Dad, how do you write the word “cake” for mooncakes?

?It’s Tangsu The word for "cake" is "cake".

?How to write the word "cake" for sugar cake?

?It's the word "cake" for pancake!?

?For pancake? How do you write the word "cake"?

? You idiot, I tried to teach you by analogy, but you can't even do it!?

9. Crying is better than laughing

Look After watching the movie "Laughing is Better than Crying", Pingping said to her mother: "Mom, it should be better to cry than to laugh." ?

?Why?

?Because when I cry, I can get anything. ?

10. Abuse of words

Hello, my dearest dad! Are you as strong as an ox these days? Is your work booming? Now I am studying hard without caring about myself. The teacher praised my great achievements, and I felt very proud after hearing this. If you criticize me for abusing words, I will definitely give up all my previous efforts and make a comeback. May daddy live forever! Your best little son, baby.

11. The price of wolf meat has not been raised

A child took out a dime from his pocket in front of the stationery counter and said to the salesperson: "Auntie, buy a wool brush." ?

Salesperson: ?Children, a piece of wool is 5 cents. ?

Children: ?Wasn’t there wool last week?

Salesperson: ?The price of mutton has increased, and of course the price of wool has also increased!?

Children: ? ?Then let’s have a piece of wolf meat. Auntie, the price of wolf meat has not been raised?

12. Old Man’s Teeth

Chen Er asked his mother: ?Our family, There are good meals to eat every day. The little brother is also the baby that his mother loves so much. Why do you only give him a little bit of milk and not give him food?

His mother said: "Because the little brother has no teeth and can't chew things." So I had to eat milk. ?

Chen'er said strangely: "I see that the old uncle next door doesn't have a single tooth in his mouth. Why doesn't the old lady feed him milk?

13. Old girl

Mr. Zhou shaved off his beard and went home. The girl next door saw it and said, "Uncle Zhou! Looking at your face, you don't look like an old man at all." ?

Old Zhou Leji, ?Do you think I look like a young man?

Girl: ?No, I said your face looks like an old girl!?

14. The teacher gave

Child: Mom, we have finished the exam. ?

Mom: You have lost weight. Mom will boil some eggs for you. ?

Child: No, the teacher gave it to me. ?

15. To be honest

Uncle! Thank you for the balloon you gave me yesterday. ?

?What are you grateful for for this kind of thing that deceives children?

?I think so too. But my mother took care of me. No matter what I took from others, I must thank them. ?

16. United Nations

Dad: You have taken the "World Geography" class. Do you know which countries in the world have the largest population?

Daughter: ?Yes, it’s the United Nations. ?

17. Signs on the face

Child: Dad, that uncle just now must be your leader. ?

Father: There is no mark on his face, how do you know?

Son: There is a mark on your face!?

18. Liang Doctor

?Aunt Cai, you are really a good doctor.

?I don’t understand medicine!?

?Where, as soon as you are mentioned, the child is so frightened that he stops crying immediately!?

19 .Repeat a grade

Son: ?Dad, I repeated a grade, don’t be sad!?

Father: ?Why?

Son: ?Our teacher also repeated a grade . She came to this class to teach us again today. ?

20. Speak loosely

When my father said the idiom "snipe and clam fighting", he said: "After the clam clamped its strong mouth, the clam said I will not loosen my mouth today." , I won’t let go tomorrow. The sun will burn you to death!?

When the 6-year-old child heard this, he asked his father: "Can clams speak without their mouths?

"Can they speak without their mouths? ?

? Then when it speaks, doesn’t its mouth loosen up?

21. Quit Marriage Candy

Mom: The big chimney of this factory is really Hate. Black smoke has been coming out all day long. It’s so choking that I can’t even breathe.”

Xiao Hong: “It doesn’t matter, I’ll get you dad’s smoking cessation candy.”

22. Today Everything should be done today

Father: Whatever can be done today, don’t put it off until tomorrow.

Son: It’s too easy. Bring the cookie box!

23. Goldfish dyeing

When the father saw his son pouring blue ink into the goldfish tank, he asked him why.

The son said: ?The goldfish. Will you turn into a blue goldfish if you eat blue ink?

24. Progress

Brother: What is progress?

Sister: Today is better than yesterday. There are a lot of things. ?

Brother: ?Dad is making progress. Yesterday he burned a hole in his clothes from smoking, and today he burned three holes. ?

25. Progress is really fast

Son: Mom, I got fifth place in the exam. Please boil me an egg.

Mom: My good boy, I’m making great progress today. Two eggs. ?

Son: ?Thank you, mom!?

Mom: ?How many people are taking this exam?

Son :? 5 people. ?