What are the classic jokes in basketball?

A very happy topic, let's recall the jokes that once made us laugh.

O 'Neill: At first glance, you will never be full.

O 'Neill: "I really can't remember the name of the nightclub I went to."

Monta ellis: I am the second player in the league. 20 10, monta ellis is still very good, and he feels similar to Lillard now. That year, he averaged 25+5+4. In an interview, monta ellis boasted: I am the second person in the league.

At that time, the first place in the league was Kobe Bryant, and monta ellis meant that he was better than James. However, not long after he said this, the Warriors put him in the cold palace in order to clear Curry's name.

Celtics trade Garnett Robinson Celtics: We can give you Parkinson Garnett Robinson. Who are you going to exchange it for?

Thunder: Really? Except Shao Wei and Durant, everything else is optional!

Celtic: I want Kostic and Jeff Green.

Thunder: Deal!

The transaction is completed.

Thunder: Where is Garnett? ! ! ?

Nicky Young hit a three-pointer like Arenas, turned around and celebrated with open arms before the ball went into the net, becoming a classic of pretending to be forced.

Yang Qiqi also wants to come out like this. When he saw that the ball he threw was about to enter the penalty area, he turned and opened his arms. As a result, the ball was awkward. I rinsed it in the basket and ran out, which made Yang Shaoxia quite embarrassed.

Angie: We need to strengthen Angie: We need to strengthen positions 5 and 4, as well as shooting guards and point guards.

Magic Johnson: Kobe took over the game in the second half. Magic Johnson said in an interview: Kobe took over the game in the second half, especially in the third and fourth quarters.

Magician's IQ ...

Kidd: I hope this team will make a 360-degree change. This is what Kidd said when he joined the Nets. Before he left, the Nets' record was very bad. Kidd wants him to make a 360-degree turn. Isn't that just a turn to come back?

Stackhouse: I can defend Jordan 1996. Before the 76ers played the Bulls, stackhouse said, "I can't wait to play Jordan. I will defend him. You will watch it. "

Results Bulls 120-93 beat the 76ers, Jordan scored 48 points, and stackhouse only got 1 1 point. Jordan said after the game: "I told Jerry (stackhouse) that he was talking in his sleep."

Doug collins: When the Pistons score more than 65,438+000 points and limit their opponents below 65,438+000 points, they almost always win. Collins was Jordan's coach, and Phil Jackson took his place. Later, he became the head coach of Pistons. This sentence seems to have been said by a famous commentator in China.

1. Before the seventh game of the Western Conference finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Sacramento Kings, Lakers coach Jackson said to the players, "This is a key game. Whether you can win the championship three times in a row depends on today. Only when you win today will you have a chance to compete with the Nets for the championship! So, I hope there are no idiots in this team. Who stood up early! " As soon as the words were finished, O 'Neill stood up. The old Zen master was very surprised and asked anxiously, "shaquille, what's the matter with you? Are you an idiot? " O 'Neill said, "Coach, I really can't bear to let you stand there alone."

I just learned that Magic Johnson is an outstanding American basketball player, and he is worshipped by fans because of his magical skills. One day, he came back from the game and was frolicking in the room with a team member. Inadvertently, Johnson fell from a window on the second floor and soon attracted many onlookers. A traffic policeman came quickly and asked Johnson, who had just stood up from the ground and was still touching his head uneasily, "What happened?" Johnson looked around and said, "I don't know, I just got here."

Miracle In a fierce basketball game, two fingers of a player's left hand were seriously injured. After the game, he went to a surgical clinic for treatment on his way home. "Doctor!" He asked anxiously, "Can I play the piano after my hand is cured?" ! ""that will do! "The doctor assured him." That would be a miracle. Doctor, I've never played the piano! "

5. Blood transfusion O 'Neill said to Yao Ming, "I can give you a lot of money, but I have to draw some blood from you and lose it to other Lakers players so that they can be as tall as you." Yao Ming smiled and said, "Well, I will pay a sum of money to buy your blood and make me as strong as you."

6 Basketball coach An athlete shot and missed five shots in a row. The coach said, "Idiot, look at me." Also voted five times,

1、

Harden asked Kobe, "When can I achieve your achievement, Keke?"

Kobe asked, "Do you know what Los Angeles is like at four in the morning?"

Harden: I know!

Kobe: "How do you know?"

Harden: "I just got out of the nightclub."

2、

Michael Ray Richardson: "This ship is sinking." (Well, that's a good metaphor.)

Michael Ray Richardson: "The sky is its limit." (high, really high)

3、

If many NBA superstars come to China, Wu Fudong, the first street soccer king in China, will have a game. In this unprecedented one-on-one hit, Wu Fudong lost without exception, and some fans who "know the ball emperor" quit.

-I have seen the most witty "players who know the ball" reply like this: most NBA superstars are very strong. If you switch to a star without height advantage, such as Iverson or Nash, Wu Fuji's chances of winning will be much greater!

I think this is the worst time I love black!

4、

A coach: "will I get a technical foul because of the idea in my head?"

Referee: "No."

Coach: "Well, I think you are really hopeless!" " "

5、

Artest took a taxi and was recognized by the driver. The driver said I have a question for you. Ron Artest said go on. The driver said: 12 millionaires sit in front of the TV and watch the playoffs. Who are they?

Ron Artest has been thinking for a long time, and I don't know if you told me. Driver: Lakers.

Ron Artest: ................

6、

James said: I only have three words to respond to this-nonsense!

7、

Suddenly there was an uproar, and everyone here was wondering how to ask such a question.

I saw Paul smile. "Didn't Jordan go in?" Suddenly the atmosphere became lively and the applause lasted for a long time.

8、

Boss Fu said, "Yao Ming always says' tomatoes' without layups or dunks. Nobody knows? "

Tim duncan is two years younger than Lin Chi-ling.

There will be some humorous people in any field, and there will also be some people who make jokes because of improper words and deeds, and basketball is no exception. Let's start with a few jokes in the basketball world.

Anthony: If we don't win the championship, I'll buy a house here instead of going.

In 2004, Anthony, who just joined the league, participated in the Athens Olympic Games with the United States. When he first arrived in Athens, Anthony said in an interview: It's easy for us to win the championship. If we don't win the championship, I will buy a house in Athens and live here, because I have no face to go back to America. We all know what happened afterwards. The United States lost many games in the Olympic Games, and was finally eliminated by Argentina. But Anthony did not keep his promise. Instead of buying a house in Athens, he returned to America. This later became a joke.

Yao Ming is considered to love tomatoes.

A joke in the transaction.

It wasn't long before this happened. Some time ago, there was almost a three-way transaction between wizards, suns and grizzlies in NBA. At that time, it was reported that Ariza went to the Wizards, Ubray went to the Grizzlies, Sheldon and Brooks went to the Sun. Seeing that the deal is about to be reached, there is something wrong with Brooks. The Suns insisted that the Grizzlies promised Dillon Brooks, but the Grizzlies said that we had been talking about marchand Brooks. Finally, the deal fell through because of Brooks. I can only say that they are too lax.

There are many jokes in the NBA, which also adds a lot of fun to the game.

Ricky davis: The team chose lebron james to help me! If you want to tell a classic joke in basketball, ricky davis, the former knight boss, must be on the list.

Even as an undisputed superstar in today's league, lebron james has his days as a rookie. It was the 2003-2004 season, and the talented high school students who attracted much attention were selected as the top pick by the Cleveland Cavaliers, and ricky davis was the boss of the Cavaliers at that time.

Ricky davis is not a mediocre player, but obviously he underestimated lebron james's talent. Later, in order to help James, the Cavaliers chose to trade Ricky Davis. After being traded to the Celtics, ricky davis even said, "I thought lebron james was my helper."

It is worth mentioning that ricky davis once asked James to help him carry his shoes, which is said to be the last straw to crush the career of the ricky davis Cavaliers.

Eggs: Ricky Davis once made a more interesting move. In order to get three pairs, he shot at his own basket and brushed the backboard. His move forced the league to urgently introduce a penalty for throwing the ball into its own basket.

Durant: Scarlett Johansson, I want to drink your bath water. Durant, as a well-known superstar player in the league who is worried about emotional intelligence, has also done many very funny actions, such as calling his former teammates Tom, Dick and Harry after joining the Warriors, forgetting to switch Twitter accounts, and so on. Of course, the most famous one is the "bath stalk".

20 1 1 American Hollywood actress Scarlett Johansson walked on the red carpet at the Golden Globe Awards Ceremony. Her gorgeous style made countless men swallow their saliva, but Durant's behavior was a bit out of line. He couldn't help sending a tweet: "Scarlett, I want to drink your bath water."

Later, Scarlett replied to Durant in Twitter, saying that if he can win the championship in 20 1 1- 12 season, she wouldn't mind letting Durant have a taste of her bath water. But James helped Miami beat Thunder 4-/kloc-0-0 in the finals and won the second championship in the history of the Heat. Durant's bath water is gone.

However, it is also reported that Scarlett Johansson doesn't play Twitter and other social accounts. Some people suspect that Scarlett Johansson's reply is fabricated, but in any case, Durant's remarks have completely become a joke.

Kobe: Have you ever seen Los Angeles at 4 am? Harden: Yes, I just got out of the nightclub. Harden is a hot star in the league and a strong contender for MVP, but Gordon sometimes lingers in nightclubs and neglects training.

That was a few years before the rocket came, and the reputation of "nightclub Deng" spread all over the league. Gordon, who often lingers in nightclubs, has become the object of ridicule by many fans, and this joke came into being.

The background of this joke is:

Anxious Harden and Kobe exchanged experiences and asked how Kobe got five championships. Kobe went on to say the classic sentence: Have you ever seen Los Angeles at 4 am? I wanted to guide the younger generation from the perspective of hard work, but I didn't expect Harden to say, yes, I just came out of the nightclub.

But later, Gordon prodigal son turned around, quit nightclubs and Kardashian, and suddenly became the top player in the league, which can be said to be very inspirational. And Kobe's wife Vanessa herself denied this rumor. Kobe said that "I have seen Los Angeles at four o'clock in the morning" is pure X, and he didn't get up until four o'clock in the morning several times, not every day.

Finally, tell me a joke:

Kardashian: the best defensive player

Text/10: 30 basketball, welcome to express your different views in the comments, more fresh and interesting NBA analysis and information, welcome to pay attention to me! Cappella is the best person to joke. One year, cappella finally got the starting position in the Rockets. He is really overjoyed and wants to show himself, but he has no capital to show it. what should he do ？

So he thought and thought, and finally came up with a good idea. He thought of Yao Ming of his own team. When he didn't play well, because he was a great China man, China United, when he voted for the NBA All-Star, Yao Ming relied on the background of China people to win votes for several seasons. I should also learn from the old-timers in Yao Ming and please the people of China. So he asked around and soon got a domestic evaluation of him. It's called "Cake King" and he's puzzled. So he thought: China people may make me fat, so that I can play better. I thank the great people of China. I printed such a beautiful and level name given to me by China people on my t-shirt. I don't believe I'm great. He really made himself a T-shirt with the famous word "cake king" printed on it. He's really famous this time. He found a strange phenomenon. When anyone who knows Chinese characters saw him wearing that T-shirt with "Pie King" printed on it, he laughed at once. Cappella thought, Look, I am smarter this time!

Paragraph 1: The Hornets boss challenged the players and all the players lost. A fan passed by: "You are so rubbish that even a 50-year-old man can't beat you. I can do it with me. "

Until he knows who the wasp boss is.

The second paragraph: Quotations from Zhang Weiping's father.

Sun Yue, play with him! (from the men's basketball competition of Beijing Olympic Games) (I took this picture on purpose)

Kobe catches the ball, wins the championship, wins the championship (the Lakers won the championship in the 20 10 finals, and the old man was so happy)

Do you really dare to throw this ball? Wow, this ball really dares to score! (explaining a strong shot by Kobe Bryant)

Joke 3: Kobe Howard's rubbish is angry.

Kobe: "Try me, soft!" " Fuck me, soft egg! )

Howard: I know you, dog (I know what you can do, old dog! )

Look at the level of garbage.

Paragraph 4: Bird and Jordan talk about spitting garbage.

Jordan: "Hello, Donald Duck"

Bird: "Shut up, Mickey Mouse" (Joe has ears)

1, made a pick-and-roll with Yao Ming and made a three-pointer-Director Zhang: "Got it!" The result is airball. After a while, Zhu did the same thing and made a three-point shot-Director Zhang: "Successful!" It turned out to be another three-non-stick. ....

2. Now please ask Zhang to give guidance to the Rockets. At present, the rocket is 20 points behind. Director Zhang said. . . . . . If the Rockets want to win, they just need to score a few more goals at 2 o'clock, and then they won't let their opponents score, Sun Zhengping said. . . . . . Ok, Director Zhang hit the nail on the head!

Anderson has played 15 season in NBA, and he is 29 years old this year.

I want to win seven championships, and I will start the playoff control mode. ...