Qq funny news daquan sentences

1, from elementary school to college, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

2. The sky didn't give me any big responsibility, so it broke my heart and hurt my bones and muscles.

You are a pig, I am a dog, and we are friends of pigs and dogs.

4. There are always a group of invisible friends lying on the friends list like dead people. Occasionally cheat the corpse, and occasionally change the epitaph.

5. The shoulders are itchy, as if they are going to grow wings.

When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital.

The most precious thing in the world is not what I can't get and what I lose, but the happiness I have now.

8. There is no love and hate for no reason in the world, but TM is fat for no reason!

9. I turned her from a girl into a woman, and she turned me from a man into a pauper.

10, swish! I stand in front of you and look at you affectionately. Will you ...? -Give you a day.

1 1. When I was a child, I felt that I was the most beautiful person in the world. When I grew up, I found ... the whole universe.

12 when I said I couldn't afford to get hurt, it was the day your house caught fire.

13, I wake up every morning with a handsome hairstyle, either Saiyan or Altman.

14. In Egypt, a man can marry four wives, which is very tiring. China is better.

15, loving you is a kind of happiness, thinking of you is a kind of happiness, waiting for you is a kind of test, thinking of you is a habit, loving you is a kind of treasure, kissing you is a kind of tenderness, watching you is a kind of enjoyment, and hugging you is a kind of romance.

16, a person's greatest sorrow is not wanting to be himself.

17, do you know who is the most powerful anti-Japanese hero in history? Correct answer: period!

18, everyone has a dark side. If you say you are simple, I can only say that you are not human!

19, even if I am a piece of shit, I am also a piece of thinking shit!

20. What's it like to love someone? I said good night and wanted to say good night.

2 1, since people get tanned, their faces look good, their teeth turn white, and they don't blush after drinking.

22. I bought a razor online, and my hands are shaking after shaving.

23. The so-called pig-like roommate should be that I have a cold. Tell him to come back and bring me a box of black and white. He brought me a pack of Oreos.

24. The examination room is like a battlefield. Either you die or I die.

25. How many centuries will computers be invented without radiation?

26, work QQ, refuse to chat, if you want to chat, charge 50 cents, punctuation, half price, 30% off the monthly card, double at night.

27. You are like a pug. Whoever has food will go with you.

I just like to see you in a hurry, because it's because I know you love me.

29. You asked me how much I love you. Money can represent my heart.

30. Lovely Santa Claus, I don't want sugar, I don't want chocolate and I don't want new clothes. Please put my boyfriend in my big socks on Christmas Eve and pay attention to the outside. Thank you.

3 1, all the questions in the world can be answered with "none of your business" and "none of my business", and suddenly I feel so busy.

32. Water makes noise because it is blocked, and people mature because of setbacks!

33. I recently read a book that taught people how to forget and benefited a lot. I forgot the title and content.

Please don't charge me. I have no money and can't afford caller ID.

35. Peach blossoms are in full bloom, and the spring rain is full of affection. Tell me gently that I can't live without you. I will never forget your dimples. I am infatuated with you. I just want to hold your hand and enjoy a happy life!

36, the wife said: compare two fish who is handsome, handsome is tomorrow's dish.

37. Watch the time in bed every morning, not to get up, but to see how long you can sleep.

38. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

39. I thought the tiger photo was real, but as soon as I heard it was true, I immediately knew it was fake!

40. In a world full of darkness, love is full of lies.

4 1. In the Southern Song Dynasty, there was a patriotic poet named Lu You. At that time, nomads from the invasion, in the face of broken mountains and rivers, the people were miserable, and Lu You was furious. Lu You was so angry that we couldn't surf the Internet.

42. My greatest advantage is that I have a lot of money, and my greatest disadvantage is that I spend it too quickly.

43. There are two kinds of looks, one is good-looking and the other is ugly. You belong in the middle, so ugly.

I will play with anyone who dares to disturb my homework again.

45. I didn't know until today that so many people wanted me for life, but they gave it to him and he didn't want it.

46. As long as the hoe jumps well, is there a corner that can't be dug down?

Please don't call me an otaku, please tell me to close the house. Please don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie.

48. Happiness, can it not be as short as a rainbow?

49. Grandma, your express delivery is too slow. Where did you mail my wife?

Please be sure to return the heavy rain you missed in those years during military training.

5 1, when you are lonely, I come to you from the darkness and break the loneliness that makes you uneasy; When you are no longer lonely, I will return to the endless darkness.

52. Today, I took the elevator. On the elevator, a man opened a bag of chocolates. Everyone shared one. No, I reached for one. He paused and gave me one. On the fifth floor, when they all got off the bus, I realized that they all knew each other. Oh, my God! I can't believe I reached for one!

53. Pay all wages, including unplanned wages; All leftovers are contracted, including spoilage; Do all the housework, including mother-in-law's; Thoughts are reported every day, including a flash of thought.

54. Smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart!

55. I was told to pay attention to the rearview mirror. Turn on the light if there is no danger. The direction is gradually inclined to the side of the road, and the right foot is lightly trampled. When the speed drops by half, step on the clutch, slowly brake to the side of the road, correctly control the steering wheel, and ensure that all four wheels are forward.

56. I ordered two dishes in the restaurant at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked. "Is there anything worse in the world?" I cried after eating the second one. "There really is." .

57. Before I touched the flowers and twisted the grass, I was already pulled out by others.

58. If you don't curse, don't curse! Once you scold, you curse death.

59. It's strange that I am so lazy and still miss you very diligently.

60, now they all call themselves ugly, and when they explode, they become beautiful dogs; They all say that they are scum, but they abuse the exam into slag; Sighing about the poor sense of music all day, singing K becomes Mai Ba.

6 1, I'd rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince riding a white horse.

62. Being a man is always a bitch. Some people don't cherish it, and those who don't cherish it always want it most.

63. I also want to look down on myself, but my weight is not allowed.

64. During the seven days of National Day, you will be scolded four times a day: if you don't get up in the morning, you will surf the Internet when you get up, shout no when you eat, and don't sleep at night.

65. Maybe you and I will eventually disappear, but you should know that I am moved by you.

I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?

67. Never argue with a brain-dead person, because he will bring your IQ to the same level as him, and then beat you with rich experience.

68. The loveliest man in the world is a lip service and a playboy, but he has a girl in his heart.

69. On the east-west road, I ran into a man biting a dog, picked up the dog's head and hit a brick, and was bitten by a brick. It is right to tell the truth by turning right from wrong. I know my heart, I wish you happiness every day!

70. There must be a plot for a person like me to suddenly become gentle.

7 1. In those years, the math teacher patted the blackboard and shouted: Probably? Do you want to make an appointment?

72. What kind of student hasn't read the book that the teacher has been talking about for so long, but forgets what the teacher hasn't read after studying for so long?

Don't tell me it's cold, take care of yourself and put on more clothes, or take care of me or buy me clothes with money.

74, heart to heart, heart to heart, how do you treat me, I will treat you! From now on! Sweet mouth is hard. Stay and roll. Either endure, be cruel or get out.

75. When I was walking on the road, I suddenly wanted to fart. There happened to be a motorcyclist next to me, so I wanted to take this opportunity to cover my fart. I just know that the power is too great and the sound is too loud. The motorcyclist thought he was leaving, so he put on the gear and was about to leave. And he fell!

76, not to achieve what kind of purpose, love becomes love. No matter what kind of love, it is a kind of beauty and a result. And the love engraved in the bottom of my heart will be truly eternal because of selflessness and indifference to sadness.

77. Tomorrow is my birthday. Can you believe it? I believe it anyway.

78. You and I don't need any triviality to prove the weight of care, just a self-evident tacit understanding.

79. My life creed is: live like a grandson for decades, and then die like a grandfather.

Uncle, remember to cover your mouth when you laugh. Be careful of your false teeth.

8 1, Cao Cao took his youngest son to see Zhuge Liang, to see Zhuge Liang, Cao Cao tax: I brought my youngest son to see you. Zhuge Liang said with a smile, I will come when I come. What fruit do you want to bring?

82. Your face reminds me of a sentence, arbitrary.

83. Never buy incense again! Last year, 700 million cups circled the earth three times. This year, the billion cups have been circled three times. The cup must be getting smaller, profiteer, I was cheated!

I am a traditional man, so I have always supported the system of three wives and four concubines.

85. Today, I told the goddess that if there are only two people in the world, one is that I love you, and the other is that I don't love you and die without you, what is the name of the other person? I only heard the goddess say lightly: survivors. This is not a routine card!

86. Do a multiple-choice question, but the answer is you.

87. The poor play with cars, the rich play with watches, and the cows work overtime to knock on the computer.

88. Kneeling in math, poor English, drunk in chemistry, unable to recite Chinese, failing physics and falling asleep.

I know you don't love me, but I miss you like a flood.

90, 12 12 is thin, and a catty of fat makes me feel bad!

9 1, there is a sad call. This math problem is beyond my Chinese understanding.