Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - It is humorous, positive, meaningful and realistic, about 10 minutes, suitable for middle school students, about a dozen people
It is humorous, positive, meaningful and realistic, about 10 minutes, suitable for middle school students, about a dozen people
"Heaven and Hell Competition"
Host: Hello everyone, I am the host xxx. On the night of golden autumn, the first Heaven and Hell competition kicked off here. This event was sponsored by the Chinese Bathing Committee. The winning party will win a monthly pass to the bathhouse of Hebei Medical University.
Let me introduce to you the two participating parties in this competition: First of all, the four dream teams of King Kong from the Paradise Representative Team!
(The stage manager walked past with "stage manager" on his chest and held a "please applaud" sign)
(Amidst a burst of music, four older boys came on stage dancing cygnets)
The Four Great Vajras: We are—— Vajra A: Lingxiao Palace—— Vajra B: Nantian Gate——
Vajra C: The Four Vajras——
Jingang Ding: Yes——
Host: Here I would like to conduct a simple on-site interview with these messengers from heaven: I heard that Guanyin wants to take the route of a young and beautiful girl, but I don’t know What do you think of this?
Jingang Jia: We can’t express our opinion on this issue, but one thing is for sure: it would be more appropriate for her to join the mature and powerful faction...
Moderator: Second question: I heard that your single "We Believe" may win the Best of the Year award this year?
King Kong Yi: Well, "Sleeping with Madonna" by the old Antarctic birthday boy is also very popular, but - (four people speaking at the same time) We believe!
Moderator: I wonder what program you brought to the audience today?
Vajra B: We brought a poem
Host: Please listen attentively
Vajra B: Grape wine luminous cup
King Kong B: If you want to drink the pipa, hurry up
King Kong B: The lone sail is far away and the shadow is gone in the blue sky
King Kong Ding: There has been a dragonfly standing on your head
Host : What a poem! What a poem! But wouldn't it be better if the last two sentences were changed to "The apes on both sides of the Taiwan Strait can't stop crying, and the couple will be kind to each other for a hundred days"?
The Four Diamonds: That makes sense! rational!
Host: Okay, please take the seats of the Four Vajras (take out your handkerchief to wipe your sweat). Next, please bring out our messenger from hell. He is the cousin of the sister of the second aunt of the Lord of Hell. He is a player of pure strength - he is the legendary Su Qier - Sucha Harcan!
(Su Can ran into the field like an athlete, struck a cool pose, and shook his short hair upwards with his hands)
Su Can: Actually, I I don’t have any strength at all, I am a pure idol.
Host (wiping sweat): Uh~Okay, Su Can please take a seat
(Su Can sat down to the host in a grand manner position, with your feet up on the table)
Host: Ah Chan~ That position is not yours~ (The host took out a mazaar from the table and placed it opposite the four King Kong) It's your place...
(Su Can sat down helplessly, took out a banknote, opened it slowly, and wrote "A banknote of one hundred thousand taels" on it, and waved it in front of the host. Put it back in your pocket)
Host (nods knowingly): Wow, you are so funny, I will protect you today (walks back to the stage)
(The show manager holds up "bribery" Brand)
Host: Finally, we have to invite today’s examiner—Li Yong? No~Wang Xiaoya? No~ Of course for such an important competition, the most famous local host must be invited (turns around to change clothes) I am the most famous local host~
(The show manager held up the sign "shameless")
Host: Okay, now the duel officially begins~ Let’s enter the first part of today—must-answer questions! Su Can answers the question, please listen to the first question, No. 1 ~ "Actually, I don't have any strength at all, I am a pure idol." Who said this?
Su Can (scratching his head lazily): Me~
Host: That’s absolutely correct, plus 10 points!
The Four King Kongs: Despicable! protest!
Moderator: The protest is invalid, no loud noises are allowed in the arena, 10 points will be deducted from the four kings, now ready to answer the question: Xiaogang and Tingting are a pair of good friends. One day while playing, Tingting accidentally stepped on Xiaogang kicked him, but Xiaogang was hospitalized. Why?
Jingang Jia: Because Tingting passed foot cancer to Xiaogang.
Host: Wow~ You are indeed clinical, you can even think of such a profound term~ Congratulations on your wrong answer~ The correct answer is: Tingting is a hippopotamus.
Diamond Armor: Wow~ How can a hippopotamus have such a light name?
Host (holding a "No Making Noise" sign and slapping him over): If you make any more noise, I will beat you into an idiot! Another 10 points will be deducted from the Four King Kongs! Now let’s ask Su Can to answer the question: What are the four “big” masterpieces of ancient China?
Su Can: "The Gate of the Mansion", "Journey to the West", "Big-Headed Son and Little-Headed Dad"... The fourth one is... "Big Tadpole Looking for Mom". (Intentionally pats the pocket containing the banknotes)
Host: Uh~ (looks at Su Can's pocket) The answer is completely correct...add 10 points. Now let’s ask the Four King Kongs to answer the question: What are the panda’s two biggest wishes?
(The four kings are gesticulating and unable to speak)
Host: Please, can you do it? They won’t squeak...
The Four King Kongs (looked at each other): squeak~
Host (wiping sweat): The correct answer is: 1. Have a good sleep ; 2. Take a color photo. Now let Su Can answer the question: The police faced two gangsters at the same time. The police said, "Whoever moves will be killed." But the gangster who didn't move was robbed instead. Why?
Su Can (scratching his head): Me too~ (squeak*500...)
Host (wiping sweat again): Shut up! I know you can’t... ...Dude, have you ever played CS? As a person, I know that it is easier to fight those that are immobile... Now let me ask the four kings to answer the question: One day, the fly suddenly felt uncomfortable in his stomach and intestines, always feeling nauseous, and asked: What happened to it?
Jingang Ding: Did it eat something unclean?
Moderator: The Four King Kongs quickly gave the answer, but is it correct? After the commercial, we will reveal it to you...
Voice-over: It's commercial time~ (The stage manager holds up the "Advertisement" sign)
(The lights go out and then come on, and an old man comes on the stage , a robber jumped out next to him)
Robber: I'm sorry for taking up your precious time, I'm robbing you.
Old man: Tsk~ Your boy used to be a salesman, right? What age are you still using fruit knives to rob? The equipment is inferior to others, and there is no future. (A cough) Ahem~ Alas, this man is getting old, and he feels flustered and short of breath all day long, and his legs and feet are weak (he regained his energy and took it from his pocket) Taking out a hammer and waving it while talking) Fortunately, I have a Jiajue brand hammer. With it, my waist is no longer sore, my legs are no longer painful, and my robbery is more powerful (make a pose)
(The robber took it (Viewed in the past) Old man: The Jiajue brand hammer is affordable and plentiful. It can carry five knives with one hammer.
The old man and the robber: To rob homes, kill people and set fires (starting fires), a good hammer is necessary...
Producer: Where can I buy one?
Old man: Factory address: Room 407, Building 3, Student Apartment, No. 326 Zhongshan East Road, Shijiazhuang City, Hebei Province, contact number 7654321, extension 4444, call the receptionist office and call Mr. Zhao...
Stage manager: Old man Zhang’s phone number!
Old man: Here we go~ (Ending with the robber)
Host (walking on stage slowly): Here’s a public service announcement that the show manager just gave me: The dormitory is my home, environmental protection depends on it. Everyone: those who don't brush their teeth before going to bed - drink tap water and die; those who don't wash their feet before going to bed - fart and hit their heels; those who brush their teeth with foot washing water - their whole family dies... what a mess... dramatist! (The lights go out)
(The lights come on and the host comes on)
Host: Welcome everyone back to the scene of our heaven and hell competition. Now let’s reveal the question just now: One day, the fly suddenly felt uncomfortable in his gastrointestinal tract and felt nauseous and wanted to vomit. He asked: What's wrong with it? What is the answer to the Four Diamonds?
Jingang Ding: It ate dirty things
Host: Man, you are so creative. What else is unclean to flies? The correct answer is: It's pregnant.
The Four King Kongs (thoughtfully): Oh~ Who did it then? (Looking towards Su Can)
Su Can: No matter how romantic I am, I will never do such a thing. It all depends on what I do!
Moderator: Don’t look at Su Can, I don’t think it was him... Let’s move on to the second link of answering questions. In this link, if the person who gets it first answers incorrectly , then the other party will get the opportunity to answer, 10 points for each question. The score is now 20:-10, the Four King Kongs are going to work hard! Please pay attention to the listening question: There is a five-character animal in the North Pole, with four legs and two peaks on its back. So what is this animal?
Su Can: Polar Bear
Host: There are no two peaks on the back of a polar bear...
Jingang Bing: Is genetic mutation allowed?
Host: Bro, have you noticed that it’s a five-character animal? The correct answer is: a lost camel... Please listen to the second question: If tomorrow is the end of the world, why do people commit suicide today?
Vajra Yi: Because I’m going to heaven to occupy a seat!
The Four King Kongs (smiling proudly): Hehe, we have already taken this seat...
Host: That's absolutely correct, plus 10 points... Uh, could you please help me? Brother, help me get a seat when I get back~ Okay, let’s move on to the next question: This is a string of words that describe people: The moon is shy, the flower sinks, the fish falls, the wild goose falls, the talent is eight buckets, it looks like a fairy, the jade tree, the wind, Sai Pan, a pear blossom, the begonia is sent out. The title is omnipotent in the world, beauty and wisdom coexist, the embodiment of heroism and chivalry. May I ask: Who do these words refer to? Diamond Armor: Ng Man Tat! Host: Brother, why didn’t you say Luo Jianying...
Su Can: Let me answer: Of course it’s you, the host... Host: Hahahaha~ Congratulations on the correct answer!
The Four King Kongs: Cut~
(On stage and off stage, the drama staff walked past holding "shameless" and "despicable" signs, and the audience booed)
Moderator: Well~ I’ll save this question for future research. Let’s look at the next question: A dog crossed the desert with plenty of food and water, but died suddenly on the way. Why?
Su Can: I'm dying of thirst, it's so simple...
Host: You are deaf, have you heard "enough water"?
Jingang Ding: You can walk to death...
Host: Be creative~ You can even walk to death~ Do you have a brain... There are no trees or telephone poles in the desert , so the dog suffocated to death... The next question...
(The host's cell phone rings)
Moderator: I'm sorry to tell you some bad news: the Chinese Bathing Committee has some reasons. Disbanded, our program ends here... (The Four King Kongs picked up a chair and threw it at the host) Host: Don't smash the microphone, this thing is very expensive and I can't afford it!
...The end of the play...
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