Ask for a cold joke

1. A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! ! ! "College students replied to the enemy's words and were electrocuted. ...

He said, "I'm from TV University!"

2. Adventure alone in the forest.

Suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals.

So he shouted to the sky:

"I'm dead, God help me!"

I see a light in the sky.

There is a voice:

"Not necessarily,

Then you pick up a big stone on the ground,

Kill the leader. "

So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground,

Hit the chief hard,

Shoot the director directly.

All the people stayed for a while,

And glared at each other,

Then there was a voice in the sky:

"Now you are really dead."

3. A man went fishing by the river.

First he wore a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~

He had no choice but to change the earthworm ~ and there was still no fish bite for a long time ~ ~

In a rage, he took out 100 RMB and fell into the water.

"tnnd~~ what to eat! Buy it yourself! ! ! ! "

In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune.

Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?"

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin, and the penguin plucks his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!"

Hearing this, the polar bear tore off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" " "

6. The little snake asked Brother Snake in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?" The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

7. One day, a medium-rare steak was walking in the street. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him.

Q: Why don't they say hello?

A: Because everyone is not very familiar with it. ..

8. Xiaohong asked: Do you use your right hand or your left hand to make coffee?

Xiaomei said: right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are awesome. You are not afraid of scalding, just like I use a spoon.

9. Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who won?

A: Rabbit ~ ~

Q: Wrong ~! It's a turtle. As mentioned earlier, it's a fast turtle. Run fast ~ ~

Q: The rabbit doesn't want to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will win this time?

A: Mm-hmm. Tuziba

Q: Wrong ~ ~! The tortoise took off her sunglasses, too! It turned out to be a turtle that ran very fast just now.

10. Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher:

There are many ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: What did the ants say?

Xiao a face of vacant ... Said:

Ant, he said nothing.