Classic jokes in novels

Super humorous jokes, pornographic jokes, obscene jokes, etc. And classic funny jokes can make people laugh. We use these jokes by exchanging words. Next, I carefully prepared the classic paragraphs in the novel for you. Welcome to watch!

The paragraphs in the novel are classic (popular) 1. I have been drinking with a buddy for more than ten years. I talked about a leader after drinking. I said that this leader is good, and my elders always praise him. The elder brothers were silent for a while and said four words? Is that my dad? . I asked a question like a god. Dear dad? My buddy drank a little too much, hesitated for a while and said uncertainly. I think so, too. It's been 30 years.

The bus is overloaded and the passengers are still rushing up. Suddenly, I heard a man shout loudly: don't squeeze, I have explosives here! ? The driver was startled: what explosive? ! ? The man raised a bag of things over his head and said angrily, eggs! Both of them exploded! ?

3. once the university guards raided the electric stove and woke everyone up. The corridor was crowded with people, and the crowd was angry. The security teacher bowed all the way out and kept explaining: No, school rules! There is really no way! ? Ten minutes later, he came back with a group of security guards, boasting: Who? Who was that just now?

My wife is pregnant with twins and has a big belly. Once we were eating out and a little boy was pregnant. He's been watching us. After a while, I finally ran over, pointed to my wife's stomach, looked at mine again, and said anxiously, Aunt, don't eat any more!

5. Q: If a bonzi player and an English referee fall into the water at the same time, who do you want to kill first? God replied: decisively electrify and drain water!

6. When I went to eat KFC, my mother was angry with a newspaper at the next table: "Chen Cai is 20 years old and has won two Olympic champions and four gold medals. You are 20 years old, and you are still failing the exam, and you have failed more than one subject. I have to make up classes on holidays, and I have to skip classes to make up classes! " The girl flinched at this. Until:? Tell me, what advantages do you have over others? ! ? She replied weakly, "can I eat two barrels of the whole family by myself?"

7. I went to a theme amusement park last week, which is the most exciting Zeus roller coaster in the amusement park. At the entrance, Zeus stood there, and every visitor had to pass under his crotch. Almost everyone looked up at Zeus when they got off Zeus? Before we went, we guessed the color of Zeus' underwear, and we found it after we arrived. Designer, you definitely forced it on purpose, right?

8. Chatting with a classmate, he said that whenever there is bad weather, rain, snow and hail, my father will take a paid vacation. I said it was a good job. Later I learned that his father drove a sprinkler.

9. I called my mother today to report a big news: Mom, he and I are no longer boyfriends and girlfriends. Before I finished, the other end of the phone was connected: I was finally relieved. I never dared to tell you, he looks really awkward! ? Shit, I was just about to say we're getting married, okay?

10. A girl in the shopping mall weighed herself on the smart computer, and only heard the computer say: Your height ... weight ... figure is thin, please pay attention to nutrition! ? After seeing it, my girlfriend had to stand up and give it a try. After standing for a long time, the computer suddenly prompted: Please line up and come one by one! ?

The paragraphs in the novel are very classic 1. One day, A Dai and five friends were drinking in a restaurant and came home drunk. He said to his wife, it's a little strange today. Six people drink, and only five people propose a toast to me. I wonder if we have offended this? The wife, angry and funny, said, Maybe it's A Dai. ? A Dai nodded and said? This name sounds familiar, it should be him! ?

2. The most shocking sentence I heard today is: "This soy sauce Lamian Noodles is too salty, and my pulp wall is separated."

3. wife:? Say, am I beautiful? Husband:? Of course, it looks better than anyone! ? Wife:? But when we got married, my mother only received a few hundred dollars as a bride price. What do you mean? Husband:? Explain that it is cheap and good! ?

In the afternoon, I went to the park to play. There are several bronze horse sculptures in the park. That day, I basked in the sun and had a good time with my children. Here comes a father and son. My son is young and still wearing open-backed pants. When the father raised his son and pressed him directly on the bronze horse that had been dried for a day, the child cried instantly. At this time, the father took out his digital camera and said to the child? Baby, don't cry. Have fun, okay? Uncle, if your crotch is ripe, can you be happy? ...

The baby was born. Every night in the middle of the night, my baby always cries and my wife always wakes me up. Honey, get up and see why the child is crying. Later, I used the method introduced in the book to let the baby sleep quietly. But in the middle of the night, my wife woke me up again: get up, dear, look at how the baby stopped crying.

6. Go to work in the morning and watch the beautiful dog from the neighbor come back. The dog limped, thinking that I finally had a chance to talk to a beautiful woman, so he asked a stupid question, what happened to your dog's leg, and then it was gone. . .

7. At present, shooting is the fairest event for referees in London Olympic Games, probably because all players have guns in their hands.

8. My baby daughter went to kindergarten, and everything was fine except for some grievances on the first day. Results On the third day, the teacher called to complain. At the same time, some children in kindergarten are not used to it, crying for their mother. The teacher coaxed around and gradually quieted down. My baby has been watching the fun. As soon as the children were quiet, she said slowly. It's raining, and your mother can't come to pick you up. ? Is the classroom noisy again?

9. Everyone who sent intimate photos is waiting for me. I'll print it out. If your date is not this person on your wedding day, I will give you the photo in a red envelope! ! !

10. I have a stomachache after eating today. My classmates asked me to go shopping together, and I said, no, I feel a little uncomfortable. ? The classmate said:? Is it? I already think you're disgusting. ?

Classic paragraphs in the novel (selected articles) 1. Woman:? My boyfriend proposed to me. ? B female:? You promised him? Woman:? Yes, he told me that his car stood out. Whenever he drives in the street, pedestrians and cars will give way to him. ? B female:? Great! ? Woman:? Oh, stop bragging. Later I learned that he drove a sprinkler.

2. Sun Yang trapped Yang posted that he was attacked by a typhoon on the high-speed rail? Anemone? The impact of being trapped in Zhenjiang for 3 hours; Netizen replied: You wait, and when the water is deep enough, you can swim back. ....

3. There is a spirit called Jam Hsiao: Last time my buddy gave a concert in the Imperial City, it rained heavily. Today, I sold concert tickets in Modu, and the typhoon came again.

4. Cui Yongyuan? Tang Wei, you look a little nervous. Is it because reporters always ask you difficult questions? Don't worry, I won't. I'm from CCTV. ? Tang Wei didn't know how to respond, but only smiled mischievously. Xiao Cui continued to laugh. Let me ask a simple question. Do you watch the news broadcast? Tang Wei said? Growing up. Cui Yongyuan throws a cold joke: You have grown up and haven't changed. This sentence made the audience burst into laughter.

Xiaoming went to grandpa's birthday party. When it was time to eat birthday buns, Xiaoming asked. Why do we eat this ass-like birthday bag? Everyone's face has changed. Then Xiao Ming opened his handbag, looked at the bean paste inside and said, Grandpa, look! There is shit in it! ? Everyone is dizzy, vomiting?

6. When the family was watching the Olympics at night, the two-year-old niece suddenly put her finger into her father's mouth: Grandpa, is it delicious? Dad shook his head very cooperatively: delicious, delicious! Then smilingly ask: What delicious food did you make for grandpa? My niece calmly said: booger ~ ~

7. One day, five or six friends went to a restaurant for dinner. As their friend just got married, they asked the waiter: Hello, do you have a sheep whip? . ? Do you have a bullwhip? No. ? Do you have a donkey whip? No, sir. Hello. . . We don't have any JB here.

8. Going to dinner with friends, the female colleague ordered a cup of papaya milk, and the waiter said with a straight face that it was gone. The female colleague glanced at her magnificent chest, and the waiter also glanced at her flat chest and said coldly, I didn't drink it all. . . .

9. Zhan Zhao finally resigned one day, and Bai Yutang asked inexplicably: Why did you give up your bright future? Hearing this, Zhan Zhao got angry and struck the table angrily: Working under Bao Zheng? Behind this? 、? Life stain? 、? Black eat black? These words are sensitive words. How the fuck can you do criminal investigation?