Jokes about qq

1, the man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

If I have no power, a beautiful woman like you can still follow me.

Each of us is a dreamer. The dream has gone, leaving me homesick.

4, miss life is not bitter, clothes do not need to be repaired; The life of a bachelor is so bitter that no one can make up for his rags; The husband's life is more bitter, and the wife can't make it up.

You smell like her perfume. As soon as I smell it, I know it is not as expensive as mine.

6. I have never been late since I set my alarm clock to restless and get up and roll around every day.

7, on a whim, take your photo as a desktop, and TMD actually got a computer virus.

8. * * Thinking about how to pay taxes reasonably, the boss thinking about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I thinking about how to sleep reasonably!

9. Everyone says that you have long hair and short knowledge. Why are you bald and so short-sighted?

10. From today, you can call me a new English name: Wode Tianmei, Tian Li Wesson Moramo Shuai? No, no, no. Crazy Zhen stepped on Ma Shuai.

1 1, investors have all heard of making money, and losing money is their own. Don't believe when the bull market comes, and don't admit when the bear market comes.

12, my brother told me: Sister, you must not be taller than me when looking for a boyfriend in the future, otherwise I won't hit him for fear that he will bully you.

13, if you don't pick up a dime on the ground, you are crazy if there is a dime online.

14, why smile at me, why make me happy, why protect me, do you know that my heart has been taken away by you, do you know that you are not good?

15, I miss you every dynasty, miss you every night, miss you in confusion, and don't want to hurt myself. This sweet pain, this sad happiness, makes me happy and makes me sad!

16, since the function of anonymous message, I found that many boys began to express their love for each other.

17, I am worried about the English exam and my teenager's head; Standing next to the invigilator, I was scared into a cold sweat; I wanted to look around, but all the plans were upset!

18. Wear the most beautiful wedding dress at the right age and marry the safest person.

19, I want to lose weight, I want to roast chicken. You can't have your cake and eat it, so I choose roast suckling pig instead of both.

20. Yesterday someone said I was ugly, so I cried on the spot. I am very sad, and I feel sorry for him. I went blind at a young age.

2 1, there are only two things I can't do in my life: neither can this; That won't happen either.

22. Recently, a shop called "Drums and Guns" was opened, and money was rolling in. Every time someone buys a drum set, his neighbor will come to buy a gun the next day.

23. I want to delete my records after entering your space, but who thought I didn't have access?

24. This won't, that won't, are two things I won't do in my life.

25. attention, everyone Some experts pointed out that if you sleep at night, you must remember to charge your mobile phone, otherwise you won't be able to shit the next morning.

26. I'd rather you hold another woman and miss me than you hold me and miss another woman.

27. When will you invite me to dinner? I'll go out and buy you a package of crispy noodles later.

28. The teacher's classic lie: I treat both good students and poor students equally.

29. The bed was wet when I was a child, wet when I was a child, wet when I got married, and wet when I was old.

30. Take scoring as the goal, taking fraud as the talent and cheat sheets as the support and help.

3 1, my biggest advantage is that I have a lot of money, and my biggest disadvantage is that I spend it too fast.

I saw a beautiful woman in the street today. A closer look turned out to be a mirror.

33. You know, the second word of the heart is polyphonic. Read the fourth sound, read the first sound.

34, give me a woman, I can create a nation; Give me a bottle of wine and I will lead them to conquer the world!

35. What is a class teacher? It is a person who has destroyed your friendship, your love and your affection.

36. I finally found a way to stay young, that is, take more photos!

Don't always call me an animal. Get to know me better and you will know that I am worse than an animal.

38. The old ladies on Naihe Bridge have sold Pepsi. How can I forget you?

39, pig * * two drops of water, put a song title. You are in tears.

40. One day, the Chinese teacher asked us to write the word "handsome" silently, but the deskmate couldn't write it. He looked up and glanced at my face quietly, and actually wrote it down.

4 1, you like someone and haven't given up.

42. Dear, I just want to say to you: I love you, and the happiest thing in this life is the time with you.

43. Learning has two hazards, one is memory loss, the other is ignorance of numbers, and the fourth is memory loss.

44. Were you vomited three times after you were born, but only caught twice?

At the moment when you walk out of my sight, I will extend my powerful middle finger and praise your correct decision.

Doctor, I can't sleep recently. I am in a bad mood and can't eat. Am I swollen? The doctor asked: How old are you this year? I: 15 years old. The doctor said, you haven't finished your homework.

47. When you find that there are many friends around you, it means that you are useless.

48. A friend called for help and said that his PP was caught in the toilet. At that time, I was directly confused.

49, pink lamp, very much in love, pandering, shady.

50. Don't tell me the story of black society as ordinary people.

5 1, plug jack, socket jack!

52. It's hard enough to drink dichlorvos. If I have another bottle, it will collapse even more.

53. Who said the teacher was sorry for the abbot? Has anyone considered the feelings of Taoist priests?

54. The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you grow old alone.

55. Flip a coin: surf the Internet on the front, sleep on the back, stand up and do your homework.

56. Li Bai was about to go by boat when he suddenly heard singing on the shore. Making a scene is the most dazzling national style.

57. Teacher, I have saved a homework for the winter vacation, and I have feelings. Why don't we hand it in?

58. It is popular that the fault of two people is borne by 1 person. Being single is fashionable, and happiness is unnecessary!

59. Actually, I used to be quite tall, but I used to take a bath often and it shrunk.

60. I am a very thrifty person. I never shit with paper, never eat with chopsticks, and never wash my hands!

6 1, the college entrance examination results came out, and the teacher breathed a sigh of relief and told me that this is a kind of happiness for you and the university.

62. There are more and more monsters in this world, but fewer and fewer Taoist priests in the Tang Dynasty.

63. What would you do if your opponent fell into the water? Pee.

64. If two people have a long relationship, sooner or later. Dear baby, I can't stay with you forever, but my heart will always be with you.

65. Learn more, be less proud, take advantage of opportunities and get rid of laziness.

66. Many teachers ask me what kind of person I want to be in the future. I thought, can't I keep it?

67. When we are in love, we call what we say an oath. When love is gone, the oath is called death.

You don't look like a girl except when you have your period!

Don't cry, I'll be scared. Because your sad face looks so ferocious.

70. I sent a message to my mother, typed one more word, and now I am criticized. The text message is: Shit, where have you been?

7 1, the biggest crash of the exam is that I vaguely remember the teacher saying this question, but I clearly remember that I didn't listen.

Girl, don't be silly. The person who loves you the most in the world married your mother.

73. The oldest Chinese New Year sentence: If you don't accept gifts this year, you will receive melatonin!

74. Actually, I am a good person. I have to take my time. After a long time, you will know that I am not a thing.

75. Love is accompanied by sunny days and rainy days; They are complacent, down and out, holding hands with each other; It is to share happiness and troubles; Love is the eternal secret between us!

76. What we can do in the next life is not to let us pass by.

77. Every time the teacher says, please put something unrelated to the exam on the podium, I want to put myself on it.

78. I'm not very talkative. If you offend me, come and hit me.

79. Being single is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you are obviously single, but others think you are not single.

80. As a scum, I hope the harder the exam, the better. I can't write it anyway. It is enough to learn to be a tyrant.

8 1, I am not the funny guy last year. I am a brand-new and interesting person this year.

82. Friends around you, become famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well.

83. Women are really tired. They don't sleep every day. They suffer from cooking and then feed their children. Men should appreciate and reward our babies.

84. In our love, I have always played the role of loving you. When breaking up, don't ask me why I broke up, ask yourself.

Excuse me, miss, can you take your breasts off my hand?

86. The sweetest thing I can think of is that I like you every day.

87. You just came to the world from eighteen layers of hell, met Brother Chun, and was trampled back by Brother Chun.

88. Why does the earth rotate? Probably because I was slapped and eaten tens of millions of years ago.

89. It's not that I can't meet better, but because of you, I don't want to meet better.

90. When your hair reaches your waist, I will open my double knives, run through them and take all your long hair away!

9 1, if the exam rewards QB, then the country will be rich and strong immediately.

For countless moments, I thought I wouldn't see the sun tomorrow, because it would be cloudy.