10 classic jokes

10 classic little jokes

1. On the bus, I heard a mother teaching her son to recite a poem: "The day of hoeing is at noon, and mother works the hardest; playing mahjong in the afternoon, Fighting landlords at night."

2. A batch of primary school Chinese papers were required to make sentences using "there are and there are". One student wrote this: Yesterday I went to my grandma’s house, and grandma brought me a chicken leg. After I finished eating, I asked grandma if there were any more. Grandma replied: “Yes, yes, and there are more!”

3. I was chatting with my son one day.

Me: Son, did you know that you cried very hard when you were born? I disturbed your father to death.

My son rolled his eyes at me: Well, the first time I saw you, I knew I was born in the wrong child. Can I not cry sadly?

Me:...

4. Notice from the Meteorological Bureau: As originally agreed, the heavy rain that came early this morning caused a delay due to insufficient funds on the way. Maybe this afternoon to night Arrive. If it rains heavily, it will definitely not be heavy. If it rains lightly, it will definitely not be heavy. Please wait patiently! The meteorological observatory will report the specific situation to the public after the rain starts.

Warm reminder from the Meteorological Observatory: If it doesn’t rain today and it doesn’t rain tomorrow, there will be no rain in these two days. It depends on the day after tomorrow. The Meteorological Station solemnly advises beauties not to wear skirts in the past few days, as it is easy to be teased. The rain is good, but the wind is not serious!

5. A woman has a bad temper when she is pregnant. One day she had a fight with her husband and she thought he didn't love her anymore. She picked up the bottle and drank hard. Her husband grabbed the bottle and said, "You want to get my son drunk. What if he is drunk and doesn't want to come out?"...

6. One student said: "Teacher , I want to poop!"

Teacher: "Speak politely!"

The student was silent for a while and said: "Teacher, I want to puke!"

7. An old farmer caught some chickens, put them in a chicken coop, and sold them at the market. He walked for a while and felt very tired. He thought: "Wouldn't it be very easy if I let them out and rushed them to the market?"

So, he let the chickens out of the cage. , the chickens immediately ran away. He picked up a stick and chased them while shouting: "These damn chickens, it's pitch dark in the middle of the night, you can tell the news on time, but the ones in broad daylight don't know the way."

8. Male: "Do you know what a single man is called?"

Female: "Yes, single."

Male: "That female is single What's it called?"

Female: "I don't know..."

Male: "Goubuli."

9. Dad saw Xiao Ming doing it. Something was wrong, and I was so angry that I wanted to beat him up. Mom begged, "Let him be spared this time! It's not too late to punish him next time!" Dad asked, "What you said is simple. What if he doesn't do it again next time?"

10. A county magistrate was dismissed from his post. He became a vegetative state due to anger and was sent to the hospital. After the diagnosis, the doctor said: It might be better to read him a notice of reinstatement. My wife thought that since she wanted to recite it, she might as well recite it as the director to make him happy. Unexpectedly, the county magistrate stood up and burst out laughing. The doctor lamented that if you don't follow the doctor's advice and increase the dose without authorization, you will be responsible for the consequences! ;