Kneel for a funny joke!

An American and a Frenchman are talking about love.

"In our country." The French said, "Young people are polite and affectionate when they pursue girls."

Venous. Later, the two fell in love. At first, young people began to kiss the girl's fingertips, then her hands and ears.

Flowers, neck ... "

"Oh, my God." The American sighed and said. "If in our United States, during this time, they

I have come back from my honeymoon. "

Love direction

Tom: "Love is great. It keeps the world running. "

Jack: "Mom, I really hate it. I hate it. It makes me dizzy. " I'm at a loss. "

John: "Then why don't you two master the direction of love rotation?"

Pure love

"Please believe me."

"How do you believe it?"

"Dear, my pure love is only for you."

Who is that impure to? "

Give one's life's love

"Dear, do you love me very much?"

"I like it very much."

"Can you give your life for me?"

"Then who will love you?"

The role of flowers

A young man sent a bunch of flowers to his girlfriend, who was happy for a while, hugged him and kissed him.

He quickly broke free and ran away.

"What is it?" The girlfriend asked puzzled.

"Go and get some more flowers." He said.

reaction

There is a man and a woman in the park.

Q: "May I kiss you?"

She didn't answer.

He asked again, "Can you let me kiss you?"

She still doesn't answer.

He was angry: "Hey, are you deaf?"

"Hey, are you dead?"

Field verification

"According to medical journals, kissing is harmful to health."

"You are right. I kissed the priest's daughter the night before yesterday, and he caught me and beat me up.

Until now, I still can't stand up straight. "

Serious problem

A pair of young Scots sat on a park bench and looked at each other thoughtfully. get through

After a long time, the girl whispered to her boyfriend, "Angus, tell me what you are thinking."

Ok, I'll give you a penny. "

The young man replied, "I was thinking, if only you could give me a little kiss."

Of "

The girl blushed and kissed him. After a while, she added, "Spend one and buy what you have now."

Ideas, Angus, "

"I'm thinking of a serious problem this time," said the young man.

"Is there a problem, Angus?" Gu Wolf asked shyly.

"I think you will give me a penny now."

This situation should change.

After a date, young John saw Mary to the door and said enthusiastically, "I won't go."

Kiss goodbye? "

Mary said solemnly, "I'm sorry, I won't kiss a boy on the first date."

Yes "

"Ah." John said reluctantly, "Well, what about last time?"

kiss

"Why do you always close your eyes every time I kiss you?"

"It means I didn't see it."

point out

One night, a young girl and a handsome male employee were on a secluded country road.

Walk side by side. The employee has a big bucket on his shoulder, a roast chicken in one hand and a crutch in the other.

The staff walked into a long, quiet black alley while holding the goat.

"I dare not go with you here." The girl said, "Maybe you want to kiss me."

"I brought so many things." The man asked, "How is that possible?"

"hmm." The girl said. "If you stick a crutch into the mud, tie the sheep to it and put the chicken in the bucket.

What about in the room? "

Emotional savings

When she worked as a part-time bank teller in a university, a beautiful young man almost

Come to her window every day, and the young man will either save money or withdraw money until he puts a piece of paper and silver together.

When the passbook was handed to her, she realized that the young man had made it for her:

Dear Ji: I have been saving this idea, hoping to get interest. If there is one on Friday

Empty, can you put yourself in the seat next to me in the cinema? I thought you might have another appointment.

The guess will be charged to the account. If there is, I will take out my request and arrange it in the stars.

The sixth stage. No matter what the discount rate is, it is very pleasant to be your partner. I don't think you think so.

Is it too much to ask? I will check with you later, really. "

She can't resist this attractive and novel way.

Strange love letter

An American named Shearer once told such a story. A young man fell in love deeply.

A girl, but the girl's father opposed this marriage, and the young man wanted to write a letter to show his firmness.

Love, but he knew that this letter would definitely fall into the hands of the girl's father first, so he wrote this.

Way:

My love for you.

Has disappeared. My disgust for you.

Increasing day by day. When I saw you,

I don't even like the way you look.

One thing I want to do is

Look away, I'll never

Marry you, our last conversation.

It's boring, so it's impossible

Makes me long to see you again.

You only have yourself in your heart

If we get married, I believe I will.

Life is hard, and neither can I.

Living happily with you, I want to put my heart

Dedicated, but by no means.

Dedicated to you, no one can surpass you.

No one is more harsh and selfish than you.

Care about me and help me.

I really hope you can understand.

I'm telling the truth, please be sure.

End our relationship. Don't try.

Reply to this letter, your letter is full of

You can't have anything that turns my stomach.

Really care about me. Goodbye, please believe.

I don't like you, please don't think about it.

I still love you.

Sure enough, the girl's father saw the letter first and was very satisfied, because he saw that it was a dear John letter.

Letter "; However, the girl was very happy after reading it, because she saw it was a "courtship letter". origin

Come on, the boy has an appointment with the girl, and the girl only needs to read one line (that is, one, three, five, seven and nine).

..... Good), watch it again.

Love season

"Dear Mary," young William wrote in the letter, "please forgive me for bothering you again. because

My passionate love has made my memory very poor, and now I can't remember it at all, when I went yesterday.

When you proposed, did you say yes or no? "

Mary wrote back soon and said, "Dear William, I'm glad to see your letter. I remembered

I said "no" yesterday, but I really don't remember who I said it to. Kiss you again. "

Rare love letter

Anne received a letter from her fiance, which said, "Dear, I miss you, I miss you."

Golden mane, light blue eyes, high cheekbones, and the scar on your left hand

Height1.65m. "

Annie's girlfriend saw the letter and said, "This love letter is really hard to get. What does your fiance do? "

What? "

"He writes about searching for you at the police station."

A love letter valid for one year

Postage increased in Germany, and a short essay "Love Letter" was published:

"Dearest Lena:

You know, I love you, I love you warmly, and I love you sincerely forever, this guarantee.

The certificate is valid from August 1983 to August 1984, and may change according to the situation.

To expand, in order to save money, I won't write to you again and kiss you 365 times.

Your Bernie. "

Interesting love letter

A young man wrote a letter: "Dear Milla, I love you and hope you will marry me.

If you agree, you can answer me. If you don't agree, you don't even have to open this letter. "

Love beyond description.

In the middle of the night, Barville and Pavlina snuggled up and walked down the street, and Pavlina breathed a sigh of relief.

The drawling voice said, "Oh, Barville, if only we got married! Between us

This is love. As long as we stutter and have a drink, we can survive. "

Barville held his beloved more tightly. He comforted her and said, "Of course, it will be beautiful."

Somehow, as long as you are willing to make money to buy food, I am willing to make money to buy water to drink. "

be injured

A couple strolled along the boulevard.

Woman: "We were shot by Cupid's arrow."

Man: "it's okay to shoot me, but I can't hit you." As long as I am here, I can't let you get hurt. "

Woman: "I'm really hurt."

Marriage advertisement

A Dutch newspaper has an advertisement for friends, which reads as follows:

"I have a history of failed marriage, and now I want to find a girlfriend who can knit men's sweaters as a partner ..."

Looking for a marriage partner

A girl came to a marriage agency with a computer and proposed to her.

Find the input computer.

I want to find someone who can't be too tall, likes to wear ceremonial eyes on weekdays and likes ice sports.

After the computer rang for a while, it immediately gave her an answer: "Penguin."

The bait loses its flavor after a long time.

Father: "Sarah, why don't you get married?"

Rasha: "Dad, I have found several boyfriends, and they are not satisfied. Let me choose again. "

Father: "You are not young, hurry up."

Rasha: "Don't worry, Dad, there are many fish in the ocean of life." . "

Father: "Son, the bait will lose its flavor if it is left for a long time."

She is looking for the perfect man.

A college friend of mine has been complaining about the girls around him. It's all "too stupid and too light."

Floating, too silent, too argumentative "-too this, too that, there is always a bad place.

One day, he announced that he had found one-and only one-the most perfect one in the world.

Women's. When he announced the great news, he didn't show high expectations when he finally got it.

Excited.

"What's the matter?" I asked, "Didn't you find the most perfect woman in the world?"

"yes." He admitted. ""But she is looking for the perfect man. "

No one is perfect.

"Joe Grove is the man I like." A woman with sparkling eyes said to her mother:

"He is elegant, he is handsome, he is natural and unrestrained, he works hard, he is interesting, he is strong, he is very

Kindness-"

"He is married," his mother interrupted him.

"So there is no perfect person."

Take the fox fur coat as the number

Alisa saw a man's personals in the newspaper, and she immediately wrote to the man: "I am very happy."

I met you to form a lifelong companion on the basis of mutual love and respect. Please do it on Sunday after you see the letter.

Wait for me at the gate of the cinema at 3 pm. Please take a size 46 in your left hand so that I can recognize you.

Fox coat. "

The key (to accomplish sth)

"Hey, York, was this date a success?" "It can be said that the success is half done."

"What do you mean?"

"I went this time, but she didn't."

"Ah."

teenagers

On the evening of May, an experienced teenager was sitting in the park next to a charming girl.

Finally, he finally got up the courage to break the long silence and said, "dear."

Miss, would you like to be a man sometimes? "

"No, never, but you?"

In love

A couple are together. Only hear the girl's voice:

Ah! Please don't kiss me.

Ah! Please don't kiss. ...

Ah! Please don't. ...

Ah, please don't. ...

Ah! please ...

Ah! Please.

Ah! ……

Understand from the opposite side

A lovelorn man told his friend sadly, "The person I love refused my proposal."

"What's the matter," said the friend, "I tell you, women sometimes have to understand from the opposite side. She said

"No" means "Yes". "

"But she didn't say' no'."

"What did she say?"

"She only said' Bah'."

Love song

A magazine asked, "Please describe your love story in the shortest words. Someone's article is as follows:

First love: only she is in my heart;

In love: my mother told me to go east, and my wife told me to go west;

Lovelorn: My lover is married, and the groom is not me.

prescription

Someone asked a satirist what is the prescription for treating trauma, and the satirist said, "Hunger is one of them."

Kind of magic prescription, the time is better. "

She forgot

A: "I stood downstairs and sang love songs to my girlfriend. She threw me a skill. "

B: "What about the injury on your head?"

A: "She forgot to take the flowers out of the flowerpot."

No insurance

A young man received a dear John letter from his girlfriend, which said, "Although our relationship is over.

Liang, but you must compensate me for the loss of four years of youth ... "

The young man replied with a short message: "honey, because you are not insured, I can't pay for it."

Risk. "

experience

"Mom, I found that he loves me very much."

"How do you know?"

"Every time he hugs me, I can hear his heartbeat."

"Silly daughter. Be careful, your father lied to me with his pocket watch. ? "

test

"Honey, as long as you want it, I'll let you have it at all costs."

"Then I want a polygraph first."

Annoying snub

"Did you see that beautiful blonde in the distance? She kept me awake at night.

Anger. "

"She makes you angry? But she didn't even look at you. "

"This is what annoys me."

Afraid of offending

"Please tell me frankly, Miss Yana, what do you think of me?"

"If I tell you honestly, you won't be angry."

Ask each other

The man whispered to a young lady, "Miss, can I love you?"

"Of course." Miss nodded generously.

The man couldn't help but be elated and was about to make a further statement when he heard the young lady ask softly and coquetry.

"Sir, can I not love you?"

Hate oneself

Old maid A: It's really annoying to think of my youth.

Old maid B: What's the matter?

Spinster A: It's because nothing happened.

Different requirements

Three women are talking about a man who is eager to get married.

17-year-old girl: Is that man handsome?

25-year-old girl: How much is that man's monthly salary?

35-year-old spinster: Where is that man now?

don't worry

Female neighbor: "I have been looking for my husband for 2 hours." Old maid: "It's a piece of cake; I'm looking for

My husband has been 20 years, and nothing has happened so far. "

Introduction object

"I found a good object for you, but this girl has a problem; Her eyes narrowed slightly.

"It doesn't matter."

"Besides, she is a little lame."

"What's the matter?"

"I heard that she is no longer a virgin."

"It doesn't matter."

"What's the matter with you? It doesn't matter. "

"Of course I don't care. I won't marry her. "

gift

Charles said to his fiancee, "honey, look at this necklace." There are exactly 22 pearls on it. "

"Why 22?"

"As big as you."

"So that's the way it is," the fiancee secretly blamed herself, "if I put the 30-year-old truth.

Tell him your age. "

Transfer one's love to another person

A man and a woman met in the street, and a few days later, they got engaged.

The young man excitedly took the girl's hand and said, "You are really a good girl, although I am not as good-looking as you."

My friend Ye Simiao is very beautiful, not as noble as him, nor as much as his savings.

But you love me very much. How can it not be touching? I must love you all my life. "

The girl was so happy that she held his hand tightly and said, "Your sincere confession and peace.

Frankly speaking, it's admirable. However, I only ask you one thing now, get Ye Simiao.

Tell me the address. "

think deeply and plan carefully

The girlfriend said shyly to her boyfriend, "Benny, I can share your troubles and worries after marriage, or I can."

It can lighten your workload. "

"My dear, don't worry. I don't have any troubles, worries and burdens. "

"So you mean you won't marry me?"

"What does this mean?"

"Because after marriage, you will have it all."

A method of decomposition

A couple is talking about getting married, and the woman insists on having a new deer sign after marriage.

The man said that the car was financially unaffordable, but he proposed a compromise and said, "Dear,

Do you like riding a car with much more horsepower than a deer car and another driver? "

The woman quickly said, "That's good."

The man was very happy: "It's a deal. After marriage, we will take the bus. "

aunt

"I heard that your marriage with Mary broke up?"

"Yes, she thinks I'm poor."

"Did you tell her that you have a rich uncle in America?"

"I said. Now she is my aunt. "

Rich and unattractive.

"I can introduce you to an object. She has a dowry of 654.38 million rubles. "

"Do you have a picture of her?"

"Since when do you need photos for 65,438+10,000 rubles?"

Profitable business

A young man said to a monopoly, "I can introduce you to a company that can earn 500 thousand francs."

Business? "

"Good," said the millionaire. "Tell me about it."

"It is said that if anyone marries your daughter, you will give him 1 10,000 francs."

"It's true."

"As for me, I only need 500 thousand francs to marry her."

Burning love

"Hey, Alesha, you can't imagine how much I love you."

"Nadasha, I know, you see, all my money has been melted and lost by your warm love.

It's in your pocket. "

Emotional media

Man: "We have been together for so long, and our feelings have not developed, but seem to be increasing."

Cold. "

Woman: "Do you know? Feelings have a medium. "

Men are all Confucian scholars.

Fiancee: "I don't have the courage to let your father say' I'm broke'."

Fiancee: "You men are all cowards. My father is afraid to tell you. He has gone bankrupt. "

Don't believe in love at first sight

I don't know about you, Matilda, but I don't believe in love at first sight.

"Why?"

"Can you see at a glance how much money the other party earns?"