Buy a bowl joke

3 1. One day, something happened to the red bean cake. His last words before he died were: "... Ah! It turns out that I am a bean paste! "

On a hot afternoon, a match tickled, scratched and caught fire.

Remember the game in the afternoon? In fact, there is still a game behind. His head feels itchy. After catching it, his head caught fire. Then he went to the hospital. After the nurse bandaged him, he became a cotton swab.

33. It's hot every day in summer, so we eat watermelon together in the dormitory.

A mm came over and asked, "Can I eat?"

Answer: "You can eat the seeds and keep the watermelon."

34. One day, Xiaoming, who went to kindergarten, ran to his father: "Dad, Dad, what rises in the east and falls in the west?" "Well, is it the sun?" "No, no, five words!" Dad thought for a moment and said, "Santa Claus grandson?" "Wrong, five words! Just those five words! " Dad thought for a long time and couldn't figure it out. . . . At this time, Xiao Ming said: ". . . . . . . . . . . . . Stupid, yes, yes, the sun! ! ! ! "

35. There is a child who looks like a tomato. One day, he was walking and suddenly fell down. . . . Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, that's funny.

Once upon a time, a horse walked into a bar, sat down at the bar and asked the bartender for a glass of wine. The bartender said, your face is so long.

This is the case.

37. My sister went shopping and picked it for a long time at a stall selling rubber bands.

Q: "Well, it's beautiful. Give it to you. "

Answer: "Why? I won't hit your glass. "

38。 One day, at the height of the national war, the guild leader came to the front of the grassland to boost morale. ...

The guild leader asked: What's the situation?

Report to the member archers: report to the head! There is a Bezos archer beside the tent 20 meters ahead, but his accuracy is poor. He has shot many times these days, but he didn't hit anyone.

After listening to this, the colonel asked: Since we have found the enemy archer, why not kill him?

The archer said: Report to the team leader! No, don't you want them to exchange it for a more accurate one?

39. Since the opening of Israel, all countries have flooded into Israel. ...

Ischia: Wow! Many people ~

Yi: Yes, I saw many gods of war and popes …

Ischia: What are they doing here?

Ismail: Come to the meeting.

Ischia: What meeting will be held?

Yi Yi: They came to discuss how we should face the challenges after joining the WTO.

Iska: ...

40. This is late-night training. ...

Soldier: Ah ... Hungry ~

Teammate: Wow! then what

Father: Come on ~ Come on ~ I'm here! The priest kept telling the soldiers about the cure.

Warrior: Wow ... I ... I ... I just want to tell you that I'm going to the alley to buy noodles. ...

Pastor: ..........

4 1. The happiest festival

Asun and appa have nothing to talk about, telling each other that time waits for no man.

A song: "Recalling childhood, the happiest thing is Children's Day."

Apa: "Youth Day is in ten years."

A song: "Father's Day is in ten years."

Apa: "It will be the days of the elderly in a few decades."

A song: "In a few decades."

Appa: ". Tomb-Sweeping Day. "

42. Super composition for girls in the fifth grade of primary school

Title-"Me Thirty Years Later"

Xiaomei, a girl in the class, wrote, "It's a beautiful day today. I'll take my children to Da 'an Forest Park in .............. We drove Lawrence, which my husband bought me, with a big diamond ring on our fingers and a gold necklace that we just bought me last month around our necks. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out of the road. Let me take a closer look ~ ~ ~ Oh, my God! She turned out to be my fifth-grade Chinese teacher! ............"

43.

4. The lovelorn and God

A man committed suicide and went to see God. God asked, "My child, why did you kill yourself?" The man said, "I pursued a woman, and she said I didn't have a tall and handsome figure and appearance, so she turned me down." God nodded thoughtfully and said, "This is true. Visual effects are very important in love. Well, I'll give you a beautiful shell that is unparalleled in the world. Now go back and pursue your happiness. " At some point, God said a spell, and with a whoosh, the man left. A week later, the man committed suicide for the second time and came back to see God again. God asked, "My child, why did you kill yourself again?" The man said painfully, "When I went back, the woman said that although I was handsome, I didn't know her at all. I was rejected again. " God nodded understandingly: "Of course, if you don't know someone, how do you know how to give her happiness?" Well, I'll give you superhuman insight and intuition, and you can go back and pursue your happiness. "God said, and read a spell, only heard a whoosh, and the man left again. A week later, the man came back, which was the third suicide. God was surprised and asked, "My child, why did you commit suicide again?"? "The man said in great pain: After I went back, although I was handsome and knew her well, she said that she had given her body to another man. God looked at the unfortunate man sympathetically and finally said, "Well, since you like that woman so much, I'll let the man die, so that the woman is yours." Go back! "

Then God said a spell. Just in the middle of the spell, he heard "Crash!" With a loud cry, God fell to the ground and died hard.

The man said happily, "Now I can finally go back to pursue that beautiful nun!" " "

44.

5. Zorro's death

One day, Zorro went to his mistress's house to meet her. The hostess asked Zorro, "What if my husband comes back?"

"Zorro said," it's okay. If your husband comes back, I will jump out of the window and my horse will be there.

Pick me up next. "

The hostess said that if I heard three knocks at the door, my husband would come back.

Zorro said: I see.

After a while, it rained. Suddenly there were three knocks at the door: knock, knock, knock. Then say it's late

Yes, Zorro flew out of bed and jumped out of the window in the blink of an eye. When the hostess saw Zorro leaving, she went to open the door.

I saw a horse standing in front of the door and said to her, "Tell Zorro it's raining outside and I'm upstairs."

Wait for him on the way. "

45. One day, in the big forest, the fox was smoking marijuana. At this time, the little rabbit came from a distance and saw all this. He came up and said, Fox, how can you smoke marijuana? This is not good for your health. Look, how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. The fox thought it was right and ran away with the rabbit.

Running and running, they saw the elephant smoking. Rabbit ran to the elephant and said, elephant, elephant, why are you taking drugs? Look how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. Elephants think it's right to run together.

Running, I saw the lion rolled up his sleeves and was about to inject * * *. Little rabbit shouted to the lion from a distance: lion, lion, taking drugs is not good for your health. Look how fresh the air is. Run with me. ...

I saw the lion put down the syringe and rushed over, shooting rabbits crazily. The elephant trembled and said to the lion, why did you hit the rabbit? He doesn't want us to hurt his health!

The lion said angrily: NND dead rabbit, every time he takes drugs, he wants me to run wild in the forest with him, damn it!

46. Go home on weekends when you are at school. After dinner, I was addicted to cigarettes and planned to go for a walk on the pretext. When changing shoes at the door, my father asked me why I wanted to go. I said, "Go have a cigarette!" As a result, my father found a pack of 555 from me and gave me a good K.

47. Once I came out from my mother, I went to find my wife. After seeing my wife, I habitually called out, "Mom!"

48. I found that my bike was flat when I went to work in the morning, and I wanted my mother to push it outside to refuel. As a result, I said, "Push out my tires." Mom was confused, so I smiled and quickly corrected it. As a result, I said, "Fill my car with gas!" "

49. When I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?"

50. It was convenient to go to the toilet last time, and there was no paper. He said to his wife, "Bring me the paper-wiping donkey!"

5 1. A girl is lovelorn. I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, and there are many men with three legs!" "

52. Two people were bickering, and suddenly a person next to them said, "You are really full and have nothing to do!"

53. Colleagues argued with others and opened their mouths in a hurry: "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating.

54. I read posts while eating and read classics to my wife. She laughed to death, so she said to me, "Look after dinner, or your brain will get indigestion!" "

55. I once asked a nearsighted person how many degrees his eyes were. He wanted to say 400 degrees, but when he said it, it became 400 watts. He had a stomachache!

56. On one occasion, the leader of the Education Bureau inspected the class exercises. After that, the PE teacher should have announced the "dissolution", but in a hurry, he forgot his words, held back for a long time and shouted, "Retreat!"

57. When a physical education student was practicing, many teachers took classes. He's too nervous. Finally, when he wanted to disband the team, his mind went blank and he said, "Attention, attention! Flash! ! "

58. A group of classmates went to their classmates' homes in the suburbs to play. We bought some watermelons to put in the kitchen. I asked a classmate to take a knife to cut it. I haven't been back for a long time. While wondering, he came over with a cut melon in his hand and said in a panic, I cut the pumpkin. Everyone laughed wildly, but two seconds later, everyone laughed even harder. It turned out that he had a melon in his hand!

59. In high school, there was a teacher named Jiang, who looked very much like (Tang Priest on a Chinese Odyssey). I went to ask him a question and blurted out, "Teacher Tang, this question ..."

60. A colleague, one day when I was driving on the road, had a flat tire and asked where there was an inflatable one. Colleague said: "The streets are full of abortions!"