Hal and his wife's joke

1. Five people travel to the West. Speaking of Tang Priest, the Monkey King has the highest martial arts; On handsome, white is the most handsome; On talking, Zhu Bajie can talk best; On honesty, the sand monk is the most honest. Then the question comes: but why do all women have a soft spot for Tang Priest when passing through the daughter country?

The man worked in Shenzhen for three years and never came back. His wife was so bored at home late at night that she picked up her mobile phone and sent a letter to her husband. A letter from home to her husband, the wasteland in front of the door has dried up. If you don't come back for three days, rent it to others to grow mushrooms. Her husband received his wife's WeChat and immediately replied: A letter from home is for my wife, and the field in front of the door cannot be approved. I will return in three days, irrigate overnight and plow overnight. After receiving the news, my wife immediately replied: We have been separated for three years. Is the plow the same as before? If your plow is not strong enough, it will still be a barren land when you come back! My husband replied immediately after receiving the news: Although we have been separated for three years, there is also a field here in Shenzhen. Before my plow won, I plowed into the dry field and came out in spring.

The girl suddenly let out a scream of pain: "Oh, what are you doing?" It hurts me! " The boy looked ashamed: "honey, no … sorry, I just got lost accidentally!" " "

When I was taking a bath, my second wife suddenly came in. I saw that she was dirty, so I washed it together. As a result, the second wife licked my chrysanthemum while I was not looking ... Later, I forgave it. I think it's the same as drinking yogurt and licking the lid of a cup!

I sat next to a beautiful sister paper on the high-speed rail. I try my best to make my manners elegant and knowledgeable. I asked for two cups of coffee when the conductor passed by. I said to my sister paper, "Would you mind buying you a cup of coffee?" Sister paper nodded embarrassedly. After the coffee was served, my sister asked me, "Don't you want sugar cube creamer?" I smiled gracefully: "No, I brought Laoganma!"

6. One day my mother asked me: Does your girlfriend have any scars? Chest or thigh? I casually replied with a meal in my mouth: no, my mother immediately turned to my father and said: our pigs have bowed their heads to cabbage.

7. In high school, there were many inspirational speeches for students, with the ultimate goal of making you buy his books and boring everyone. Once, an uncle was invited to our school. He was sensational on the stage: "Think of your mother's shriveled hands, wrinkled eyes, increasingly sallow cheeks and thin shoulders. Do you still have the heart to hurt her? " Suddenly, a child in the back broke out and shouted, "Your mother is so ugly!" " "

8. One day, three robbers met a beautiful woman in the street. They robbed each other. Afterwards, the three brothers left with satisfaction. The next day, bandit San met the beautiful woman again and robbed her. On the third day, bandit three met a beautiful woman again, and the third one was about to rush out, and was held by the eldest brother and the second one. The third one looked at the black eyes of the eldest brother's second child, and finally rushed out with the eldest brother's second child and grabbed the color again. The fourth day, the boss smoked a cigarette, sat on the stone and looked at the beautiful woman standing on the wide road and said, brother, go, I suspect she is eyeing us!

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