What are the jokes that enlighten the relationship between husband and wife?

Dayong went home suddenly on a business trip. At the door, he heard a man snoring. Dayong walked away silently and sent a short message to his wife: "Divorce!" Then throw away the mobile phone card and fly away. Three years later, they met again in a city. The wife asked, "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?" Dayong explained the situation at that time, and his wife turned her head and simply said, "That's Rising's little lion." ?

[Interpretation] The most indispensable thing between husband and wife is not passion and impulse, but trust. Even if you see or hear something, at least give the other party a chance to explain, because even if you hear and hear something, there may be something else hidden. ?

(2)?

The husband scolded, "Where are the vegetables you cooked? Waxy yellow. " ?

The wife immediately replied, "You come home so late every day. Of course, you don't know that they used to' stay young' on my spatula." ?

[Interpretation] When we begin to pay attention to the handsome guys and beautiful women around us and feel that the people around us have lost their former glory, please don't forget that the best years of his or her life are with us. ?

(3)?

A couple who have lived in harmony for a long time are talked about. When a local reporter asked about the secret of a happy marriage, the husband explained to the reporter: Well, it starts with our honeymoon. We went to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon. Originally, we were going to ride a donkey to the bottom of the canyon, but it didn't take long for my wife's donkey to fall off. My wife said calmly, the first time, we were on the road again, and the donkey fell down again. My wife said calmly, the second time, the donkey fell down before walking half a mile, and then my wife pulled out her revolver and killed the donkey. I couldn't agree with her behavior, so I began to argue with her. At this moment, my new wife whispered to me: First time?

[Interpretation] There must be some awesome bottom lines in marriage. By testing the other side, you know where the other side's bottom line is, make concessions consciously, and never let yourself be unscrupulous. ?

(4)?

Kobayashi said to his wife, "You always like to compare with Xiao Yang's house next door. He decorated the house, and you want me to decorate our house according to his decoration mode. " His family bought a computer, and you want me to buy a computer exactly like his family. what do you think? " ?

"Have they added anything new to the family?" The wife asked anxiously. ?

"He married a beautiful young wife yesterday." The husband replied. ?

[Interpretation] Don't always compare with others, and don't blindly imitate one family. Every couple has their own situation, and it is impossible to completely copy the happiness of others. It is a good thing to live happily. ?

(5)?

When Kobayashi's neighbor came home and saw Kobayashi standing outside the door, he went up to him strangely and asked, "Hey, Kobayashi, what's the matter?" Cann't get in the door? " ?

Kobayashi smiled and said, "My brain is failing. I forgot my key!" " " ?

"Come to my house first." The neighbor said enthusiastically. ?

Kobayashi refused: "No, my wife will be back soon." ?

After the neighbor left, Kobayashi gently knocked on the door: "Dear, please open the door. Can't I admit my mistake? " ?

[Interpretation] People are proud. Many times, they would rather be wronged than lose face in front of outsiders. If there is a big conflict between husband and wife, it should be solved in the house. At no time should an iron gate separate two people. ?

(6)?

Husband: "Dear, since you love me so much, why didn't you say yes at once when I first proposed to you?" ?

Wife: "because I want to see your reaction after being rejected." ?

Husband: "Oh, but what would you do if I turned away?" ?

Wife: "Don't worry, you can't go out because I have locked the gate." ?

[Interpretation] Sometimes what couples say doesn't represent their original intention, so don't take every sentence so seriously, especially when they quarrel, they can say anything malicious, but in fact, if they really want to go their separate ways, there is no need to quarrel. The original intention of quarreling is more to vent anger and save feelings. ?

(7)?

When a couple is sitting on the beach, the husband always looks at every beautiful girl in the past. The wife scolded her husband and said, "Robert, show some respect. You are married!" " " ?

"What is this? Just because I ate sick rice doesn't mean I don't have the right to read the recipes of luxury hotels! " The husband retorted. ?

[Interpretation] Some small moves are out of human nature, so don't suppress them. It doesn't hurt to leave a little space when you don't touch the bottom line of principle. People really have aesthetic fatigue. ?

(8)?

There is a couple. The husband is watching TV and eating melon seeds. Suddenly, the wife shouted from the kitchen, "Honey, can you help me fix the light?" ?

The husband said impatiently, "I'm not a plumber!" " " ?

Not long after, my wife shouted, "Husband, can you help me repair the refrigerator?" ?

The husband said impatiently, "I am not an electrical repairman!" " " ?

After a while, my wife shouted again, "can my husband help me repair the door of the wine cabinet?" ?

The husband felt very annoyed and said angrily, "I'm not a carpenter!" " " ?

Then go outside and have a drink to relieve boredom. An hour later, my husband felt guilty and decided to go home and fix those things. But when I got home and found that everything was fixed, I asked my wife, "Why are everything fixed?" ?

The wife said, "After you left home, I sat outside the door sadly. It happened that a handsome young man passed by. After he knew this, he said with concern,' I can help you fix it! "But you can choose to make me a cake or make out with me once!" "?

The husband listened and said, "What cake did you make for him?" ?

The wife replied, "I, I'm not a cake maker." ?

[Interpretation] With the responsibility of marriage on your back, you should work hard to do any housework, even if you don't do it yourself, there must be a solution. You can't shirk your original responsibility by saying "I can't do this". ?

(9)?

A couple was fishing by the river, and the lady kept nagging, and then the fish took the bait. ?

The lady said, "This fish is really poor." ?

The husband said, "Yes, just keep your mouth shut." ?

[Interpretation] When husband and wife get along, they must consider each other's feelings and cannot go their own way according to their own preferences. Habits such as "nagging" are actually not very effective, so we must find ways to restrain them. ?

(ten)?

The wife complained to her husband, "You don't understand a woman's heart at all, and you are always unwilling to tell me what I like to hear." ?

Sir: "well, just remind me what you like to hear." ?

Wife: "At least the name should be changed. Don't always call it' wife'. It is more intimate to call three words. " ?

Sir: "I see, old woman." ?

[Interpretation] When the other party is in high spirits, don't say disappointing things or do disappointing things. You have to understand that happiness and happiness run together. ?

(eleven)?

A rich man got his wish and married a beautiful actress. In the bridal chamber on their wedding night, they took off their clothes affectionately. ?

The groom said, "Since we are husband and wife, we should be honest with each other. I have a few little secrets to tell you, please don't be surprised. " The bride smiled charming: "Who doesn't have a few little secrets? ?

Since you can tell me your privacy, I decided to tell you my little secret. "?

The groom grabbed the hair cover from the top of his head with his hand and said to the bride, "Actually, I am bald …" Unexpectedly, the bride also took off a long hair: "What's the fuss? I was born bald ... "?

Seeing the groom staring at his bald head, the bride confessed, "Do you think my double eyelids look good? Actually, it was cut by hand ... "The groom was not surprised:" Nothing, look at my left eye ... "He said, and took the left eyeball out of the eye socket. It turned out that the left eye was fake. ?

The groom went on to say, "Not only my left eye, but also my teeth are fake …" The bride disagreed, "Never mind, my nose has been turned up five times …" The groom said, "To tell you the truth, the wrinkles on my face are made; ?

The bride hesitated, then said, "I won't tell you the truth. In fact, my beautiful face was shaped like this after eight times ... "The groom took off his coat and said," My heart is kept beating by a pacemaker ... "The bride also took off her bra and said," I became so * * after breast augmentation surgery?

The groom slowed down: "Since you are so frank, I will tell you my biggest secret-I am going bankrupt because of the economic crisis ..." The bride seems to have made up her mind: "I don't want anyone to know, but you are so kind to me, so I will tell you-actually, I am not a woman, but I had a sex-change operation ..."?

"Great!" The groom cried excitedly, peeling off his skin and revealing his black hair inside. He hugged the bride tightly: "honey, I'm actually an orangutan. Why don't you come back to the forest with me?"

[Interpretation] Everyone has their own past. Don't always be obsessed with exploring each other's past. Just grasp the present and the future. The good and bad in the past have no meaning to a happy life. The more it turns out, the worse it is for the relationship between husband and wife.