Happy little joke

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. Here are some happy jokes for everyone, welcome for your reference!

Happy joke 1 1, Xiaoming's father opened a fruit shop and told Xiaoming to watch the door. At this moment, a pregnant woman came out. Xiao Ming looked at her and shouted, Stop! I suspect you stole a watermelon and two apples!

pregnant woman .....

My 6-year-old son is a little cold. I wanted to take his temperature, but he wouldn't let me, so I had to take it myself.

After a while, the son shouted, "mom, measure it." I have a fever, 48 degrees. "

I was busy in the outhouse and said, "No way, what's the temperature?"

He said, "Oh, I was wrong. The result is 38 degrees. "

I said, "Yes, mom will give you medicine."

He was about to get medicine for his son when he asked suspiciously, "Gee, that's strange. How do you know I'm wrong if you don't look at the thermometer? "

3. Dad: "Dear daughter, dad asks you, is there any news in the world that contains both good news and bad news?"

Daughter: "Yes, if I am not your own daughter!" " "

My uncle took my little nephew shopping. When taking the bus, the little nephew suddenly found that his uncle's backpack zipper was not zipped, so he said to him seriously, "Hey, your zipper is not zipped!" "

The passengers in the car immediately looked at my uncle's pants, and he also quickly checked the zipper of his pants.

At this time, the little nephew shouted again: "No, not only the zipper is not zipped, but even the contents are falling out!" " "

Happy joke 2 1, talking to a buddy about drinking, I said, "It doesn't matter if you drink some wine, as long as you don't drink it, you can't tell the north from the south."

After listening, the buddy replied: "It is not important to distinguish between north and south, but it must be divided into men and women."

2. Shopping with my buddy, a puppy barks at my buddy. ......

Me: Look at you. Dogs bully you, but they dare not bully me!

Dude: I've only been a dog for a few years. You have been a dog for more than 20 years. You certainly dare not bite your predecessors!

I ......

3. A beautiful sister paper asked me: Hi, do you have a girlfriend? I said excitedly, no way, sister paper picked up the skirt and turned around and said, do you think it looks good? My heart beat faster, I said, beautiful ... sister paper went on to say, well, I think so, too. My boyfriend gave it to me.

My boyfriend's birthday is coming. In order to surprise him, I mobilized all my friends and their friends. Finally, I got 520 and made an appointment to text him "I love you" at midnight!

The next day, watching him sleepy, I carefully asked, are you not happy to receive a special gift?

He said, "Damn it! So you did it. You scared the crap out of me. I am afraid that you are jealous, I deleted it all night! "

5. I went to the barber shop for a haircut. The barber was very quiet during the whole process. Out of curiosity, I couldn't help asking the barber, handsome boy, you are special. Why don't you ask me questions?

The barber took a deep breath and said, big brother, I was a little nervous for the first haircut and didn't dare to speak!

Joke 3 1, John is a clever boy. His grades are not very good, but he has a unique view on everything. Once, the teacher asked a psychologist to test him. The expert asked bluntly, "Whose works are Romeo and Juliet?"

"How should I know!" John replied coldly, "at my age, I can't read Shakespeare."

2. Lili: "Mom, did you give birth to me?"

Mom: "OK, baby!" " "

"Then who was my brother born?"

"Silly boy, of course I gave birth to your brother."

"Even boys are born to his mother. What's the use of asking his father?"

Grandpa studied calligraphy after retirement, and his hands always shook when he began to write. When his 5-year-old grandson saw it, he asked doubtfully, "Grandpa, is it really that terrible to write in Chinese calligraphy?"

4. Mom's girlfriend came to visit. After dinner, the son asked, "Aunt, why don't you go home?" Aunt replied: "I won't go home tonight, I will accompany you." The son understood and said to himself, "Oh, aunt is full-time."

5. Grandma: "What is 1+2?"

Grandson: "equal to 3."

Grandma: "Yes, Grandma will give you three pieces of candy."

Grandson: "No, it should be equal to 5, Grandma."

;