Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Excursion to Ahai in Northwest Sichuan Plateau
Excursion to Ahai in Northwest Sichuan Plateau
Ahai is a ground tour guide for the Northwest Sichuan Plateau trip. He said that he has won the top ten provincial and municipal tour guides and the gold medal tour guide for ten consecutive years.
When I first heard about it, I didn’t take it seriously: Tour guide, who can’t do it? He has a flat head and is thin, with a pair of myopic glasses on the bridge of his nose. He speaks with a slight Lanzhou accent and does not distinguish between l and n. How can such a person who is not tall and has no characteristics be a gold medal tour guide?
The car was bumpy on the northwest Sichuan plateau, and the altitude suddenly rose without a transition. Altitude sickness frightened us who came from the coastal areas. Ahai had no other choice but to sell the oxygen that the driver carried in the car. The tour guide of Ermutang Flower Sea Scenic Spot - a young man from the Zang family dressed in costumes sang a song from time to time, which relieved us a lot along the way. Alas, Ah Hai, even if you can't sing, you can just tell a joke. Ah Hai remained silent.
As the car passed the Heishui River in Heishui County, Ahai suddenly became energetic. He pointed at the turbid and flowing Heishui River and said that he was a student in the Chinese Department of Sichuan Normal University and came to Heishui after graduation. He worked as a volunteer teacher in Shuixian County and did not leave the teaching force until he obtained the national tour guide certificate in 2007. When he said this, Ahai's eyes hidden behind the lenses were extremely clear. Only a tour guide who had been a teacher could have such clear eyes, free from impurities. Ah Hai doesn't want us to call him tour guide, so we can call him Ah Hai, Hai Zi or Hai Ge. Perhaps, the names of tour guides are different from the life of the service and the person being served. Only Ahai, Haizi and Haige show the kindness of the brothers next door.
Along the way, Ahai explained to us a lot of knowledge that cannot be learned in books. For example, Tibetan elements, why are there so many prayer flags along the way? The wind blowing the prayer flags means reciting a sutra, such as the Mani pile, which is made of stones brought back by Tibetan compatriots from the mountains, such as the eight Tibetan buildings What do the auspicious patterns represent, such as Tallinn’s past and present lives.
When Ahai talks about important content, he is usually above 4,000 meters above sea level. At this time, we will be drowsy due to lack of oxygen. Ah Hai was worried that we would fall asleep. He couldn't tell whether we were asleep or passed out, so he told us some interesting Tibetan customs to cheer us up. There are five types of Tibetan funerals: sky burial, pagoda burial, water burial, earth burial and cremation. Sky burial? Our attention was all attracted by Ah Hai, regardless of dizziness and vomiting. Each of the dolphins seemed to be waiting for Ah Hai to feed them, with their mouths wide open. Ahai's eyes hidden behind the lenses revealed a hint of subtle cunning, and his Lanzhou Mandarin sounded extremely friendly. He was talking about everything he saw at the Seda Sky Burial Platform. Sky burial means feeding the body of the deceased to the eagles. The eagle flies into the sky after eating, and Tibetans believe that the deceased ascended to heaven smoothly. At the Seda Celestial Burial Platform, there is no pain, no crying, and no reluctance to leave. Everything is done in silence. Tibetans face death with calmness and respect. When Ah Hai was talking about this, his face was solemn, and the setting sun hit his face, giving it a soft light.
Maybe he has been a teacher for a long time. Ah Hai talks about customs and history and likes to ask questions. Do you know why the lakes on the plateau are called "sea"? We would laugh and joke, because everywhere Ahai passes is called the sea! Ah Hai squinted his eyes and looked particularly satisfied, and then poured out his knowledge continuously, which was much better than singing.
It only took Ah Hai one day to gain countless fans. During dinner in the evening, several veteran teachers in the group who had numerous friends discussed giving some money to tip Ah Hai as a token of encouragement.
Unexpectedly, Ahai's presence would make Tingting, the tour guide who accompanied him, jealous. We were taking pictures at Langmusi that day, and Tingting said enthusiastically, "I'll take the pictures for you."
Teacher Jing was straightforward: "We don't want you to take the pictures, but we'll let Ah Hai take them. Ah Hai does a good job."
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Tingting handed the camera to Ah Hai nonchalantly. Without Ah Hai's control, Tingting was a good tour guide, she spoke softly and could sing. Ahai's photography skills were not acquired out of thin air. After the Wenchuan earthquake, Ahai's career as a tour guide was interrupted. He changed careers for the first time and learned photography, and worked in a photo studio for a period of time. No wonder the photos Ahai took for us are so beautiful. He would take the trouble to adjust our formation and take beautiful photos of everyone.
When entering a Tibetan home to experience Tibetan customs, the painter in the team was selected as the "groom" and was taken to meet the Tibetan "mother-in-law".
We all said, call Ah Hai for help, otherwise the painter will "bleed". According to the convention, which tourist attractions do not allow tourists to pay for such programs. Ahai seemed to have disappeared, silently. Could it be that Ah Hai and Tibetans are trying to trick us? Later we learned that the painter had not bled, and Ahai was indeed reliable and would not lead us to an unqualified collector. When my friend tried Tiangjiale the year before last, the price was much higher than the price given by Ah Hai.
I also suspected that Ahai’s enthusiasm was for a purpose. There were rumors on the Internet that some unscrupulous tour guides forced tourists to buy, and if they didn’t buy, they would look down upon them. I waited for Ah Hai to take out dried yak or milk tablets from his treasure chest, but as the days passed, I didn’t see Ah Hai selling anything. Instead, he often used his own money to buy us fruits to supplement our vitamins.
On the last day, A Hai will probably show his flaws. Sure enough, when Teacher Jing and I came out of the toilet, we saw neither the large army nor the tour guide. We were abandoned in the vast Huanglong Scenic Area, with no village or shop in front of us. We trudged on the plank road leading to Wucai Pond. The desolation and lack of oxygen made us complain about Ahai.
Not far away, Ah Hai caught up from behind us. It turned out that it was not Ah Hai who abandoned us, it was us who abandoned Ah Hai. We asked Ah Hai about his unforgettable stories from the group. Ahai said that because of frequent earthquakes, he and his guests had narrowly escaped death several times. At that time, he decided not to take the expressway. When the Wenchuan earthquake occurred, he escaped by taking the national highway. The highway bridge was broken into two parts. If he had taken the highway, it would have sunk into the Minjiang River to feed the fish. When the Jiuzhaigou earthquake hit, he had just sent guests off to board the plane. Two minutes after the plane took off, the sky collapsed in Jiuzhaigou.
That’s escaping to heaven! I said.
It can be said that I am used to seeing life and death, so if I encounter others in trouble on the road, if I can help, I should try my best to help. If I turn around, I may be the end of the world. Every time Ah Hai spoke, his eyes were sincere, like a history teacher giving a lecture in class, wise and decent.
Ah, I suddenly admired Ah Hai and felt ashamed of my narrow suspicion.
Ahai sent us off to the plane. I said silently, Ahai is indeed a gold medal tour guide! I wish this good man a safe life, Tashi Delek!
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