Help me find some funny, short, two-person sketches, preferably with videos ~ ~ Hurry up.

The soldier's sketch "Curing a Cold" has the following lines.

A: I have a little back recently, a little back, especially back. I shouted when I saw the lottery ticket. I paid 500 yuan to touch it and touched a bottle of mineral water! Oh, my luck is so bad these days. Let me introduce myself. My last name is Shan, which is a word. I put a hundred surnames in Nianshan. My name is Shan, and I am the country of China and Switzerland. I feel sick these two days. I may have caught a cold. I came to see a famous doctor. I heard that this doctor is particularly responsible for patients. I heard that the patient who came to see him came in and climbed out again. (After the audience laughs) Oh, I was wrong. I climbed in and out.

B: Here we are! Let me introduce myself. I am a famous doctor here. Why am I so famous? Because I am different from other doctors, I think most of my patients. Ok, let's start seeing a doctor. Call one in. (Look at the list). Number one, surnamed Bai, cataract. Number two, surnamed Wei, has stomach bleeding. Number three, surnamed Niu, cowhide shoes. Come on, you three, go in first.

Doctor, I ... I ... ...

B: What's your date?

A: I'm fourth.

B: The next batch.

Next ... Hey, why do you think I'm so unlucky? No matter what happens to me, it's the next batch here. A while ago, our unit was allocated a room. When it comes to me, it is the next batch. I will retire in the next batch. (Laughter) Now it's time to call my number. Let's start. ...

B: Next ... (A is next to B, B goes one step, A goes one step). At first glance, you are sick. If you were not sick, who would come here?

B: Next, breathe with one mouth.

A: (Look around) Who means breathing with one mouth?

B: What uneducated parents have such an ugly name! ?

A: There's only one breath left. Look at that.

You haven't promised ... you haven't promised me to get off work yet!

Hey, what about me, doctor?

Oh, here's another one. What's your date?

A: No.4, you said my next batch. ...

You only breathe with one mouth!

My name is Sam Guo Rui! Take a closer look!

Oh, yes, Sam Guo Rui.

A: What look! Mountain Guo Rui thinks this is one-sided breathing.

Mountain Guo Rui! Is it uncomfortable there?

I just have a cough and asthma.

Not yet. A mouthful of asthma.

A: My name is Sam Guo Rui.

B: Oh, single country, single country, single country. What do you think is wrong with you?

I think so ... you don't have to guess. I think I have a cold.

You are very clever! You say a cold is a cold, so what else should I do? You are looking for a famous doctor now. Anyone who comes to see my famous doctor should check it again.

Doctor, check it.

B: Don't move. Open your mouth.

A: Ah.

B: a little higher.

A: Ah.

B: a little higher.

A: Ah.

B: a little higher.

A: Doctor, you are not a hospital, but a conservatory of music.

What nonsense!

I can sing so high!

Who told you to sing high? I told you to keep your chin up a little. I can't see.

A: Be more specific.

B: Come on.

A: Ah ~ ~

No wonder your voice is so ugly! There's a little bit on it. This ceiling is a little moldy.

A: Doctor, it is true that you are not a conservatory of music here. You are an interior decorator.

B: You said it twice!

A: Then why do you think I have a ceiling here? It's called the palate, doctor.

Oh, yes, taste. When I was a doctor, I didn't know it was called maxilla.

But I heard it was the ceiling.

B: I'm afraid you can't understand what I said about taste. I know what your education level is!

A: No matter how low my education is, I won't leave here.

Come on, come on, stick out your tongue. There's moss on it! Does it usually leak?

Yes, it usually rains heavily outside, so it rains lightly here. Hey, I just thought, my head is a colander, isn't it?

B: it should be closed!

A: It's closed. The loophole has long since disappeared.

B: Stick out your tongue. Let everyone see how green and moss it is.

A: This is tongue coating.

B: Oh, yes, tongue coating.

To me, you sound more like an interior decorator!

B: I mean long tongue coating.

A: Is the tongue coating called fur?

B: Right, right, tongue coating.

A: Remember to call it tongue coating.

B: Tongue coating, tongue coating, whatever you say, ok! Tongue coating! This person is very annoying. Should I see a doctor or should you see a doctor? I have one sentence, and he has a hundred! This man is not in good health, but you are eloquent. You are a pyramid scheme. Is it? Stop seeing the doctor! Pay!

A: Ah. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, what's wrong with me?

I'll tell you as soon as you pay.

A: Ah. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, how much do I have to pay?

B: Don't pay too much!

A: Thank you, doctor. (turns away)

B: Pay first 1000!

A: (Almost fell) It took 1000 yuan to know what happened to me!

B: What's wrong with a thousand dollars? What's wrong with a thousand? A thousand won't be enough.

Isn't a thousand dollars enough? !

B: In that case, I think it may be infected. How old are you?

A: Forty-one.

B: What's this?

A: It belongs to cattle.

B: It seems so! His face is blue, his eyes are dull and his pupils are dilated. (Pinching his fingernails and nose) Give a shout.

A: moo

B: Push!

A: moo

B: How about eating grass recently?

A: It's not good to eat grass recently. I only eat half a bundle of grass a day.

I suspect that you have mad cow disease.

A: I suspect you are a veterinarian.

Who's the vet?

A: You vet! I didn't eat mad beef at all. How can you get mad cow disease?

B: OK, OK, OK. I've said it again and again. I am a doctor who is most considerate of patients. If you don't want to check, you don't have to. But don't blame me if you are crazy in the future!

You're angry, too.

B: Stand still and check it again.

A: check it again

B: Come on, many patients just don't cooperate with the doctor. (Rubbing nails on the shoulder) Does it hurt here?

No, doctor.

B: think it over before you answer. This is to see a doctor, not to buy food! Does it hurt here?

A: No pain.

B: No way. It should hurt here! (Squeezing nails and temples) Does it hurt here?

Doctor, it hurts.

B: It shouldn't hurt here! This question is very complicated! Bend down. (Holding the nails on his back) Does it hurt here?

Doctor, do you think it should hurt or not?

B: What words!

A: I said it hurts, you said it shouldn't hurt, I said it doesn't hurt, and you said it should.

Tell me the truth. Does it hurt?

A: It didn't hurt at first, but you pinched me.

B: Pay!

A: Ah. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, when can I pay again?

B: You didn't pay a penny after seeing a doctor!

A: I have a word about paying money.

B: Of course there is. Don't misunderstand me. I am a famous doctor, and I am responsible for you. I'm not responsible for you to find another doctor. This is called exclusion, which excludes all the diseases you may get, not just leaving a cold!

A: I have a cold, but I haven't ruled out my money yet!

This man is full of money. Hey, what is the most important thing in your life?

What is the most important thing?

B: A thousand dollars can't buy the word "health".

A: The body.

B: Who is most responsible for your health in this world?

Who is responsible for me?

B: the doctor is the most responsible.

A: Doctor.

B: What did you earn so much money for all your life? Just a doctor!

A: You see … I've been making money for him all my life!

What do you mean, make money for me?

A: Doctor, I beg you, please pay attention. My family will sell iron in a big pot and give you a plaque. Six feet high, six feet wide, square, four big letters hanging at your door, iron reincarnation, okay?

Hehe ... We must wait. Who is near-re-embodiment?

A: Tito is a good doctor who is almost reincarnated. They say you can see clearly. ...

No, I remember it was Yugoslav, right? It's Hua tuo!

A: You are much better than Hua Tuo!

What do you mean?

A: Just give me some cold medicine.

B: Come on, this man is too rare. (takes out a piece of paper) He is so stingy. He doesn't take care of our doctor! (Give a) Take the medicine according to this list!

You gave me a prescription so quickly.

B: What else is open here? It's all photocopied.

A: (reading the newspaper, grinning and beating his chest)

B: This is obviously mad cow disease! Did you get a look at him?

Doctor, you are really a great doctor!

B: That's right.

You prescribed me more than 500 kinds of cold medicine.

B: Of course.

A: Other doctors talk about movies. Tell me about Kim! I don't think I can eat it alive. I'm going to mobilize the whole family to eat, and my children and grandchildren will eat until the 28 th century. I can't believe I can't finish it!

B: Good! This is called Yu Gong taking medicine!

I understand, doctor. Why do you think there is a pressure cooker in it for me? Do you think I should steam or sit in it?

B: Why don't you have any social common sense? Pressure cookers are used for cooking!

A: Cooking We have a lot of cooking pots at home.

Your cold is no ordinary cold.

Then why do I catch a cold?

You have an imported cold.

Did I get mad cow disease again?

B: What! You've been sick since your mouth. You have a viral cold. I'm afraid you'll infect the rest of the family, so you must use what you eat alone in the future. By the way, I'll give you a pair of chopsticks alone. (written on paper)

A: (Stop) No, I'll just eat what's in the pot.

B: A little saving is just a little.

Doctor, how do you drive? Eighteen baskets of penicillin. I don't think you can stop me!

B: Don't do it all at once. Wait until it's ready.

A: Cell phone?

What if you take the wrong medicine? Call me right away. It is not too late.

But how can you drive a motorcycle for me?

B: how can I get such a big pile of things back? Don't rely on motorcycles! You are not bad!

A: What's the matter?

B: Of the three people who came in front, I drove his Santana alone!

A: Oh, dear!