Funny jokes, cold jokes, brain teasers, and online buzzwords.

1, Niu Jiao sheep. Sheep: "Hello, who are you?" Niu: "I am Bi." Sheep: "Shit, who are you?" Bull: "Shit, I'm Bi!" " Sheep: "Shit, who the fuck are you?" Bull: "Shit, I fucking beep, beep, shit!" " ! "

A student was caught by the headmaster when he climbed over the fence and walked out of the school gate. Principal: "Why don't you take the main entrance?" The student pointed to his coat and said, "Mi Bang Wei, don't take the usual road!" The headmaster said, "The wall is so high, how did you get over it?" The student pointed to his trousers and said, "Li Ning, anything is possible!" The headmaster sneered, "What's the smell on the wall?" The student pointed to the shoes and said, "Xtep, it feels like flying!" " "The next day, the students left the school from the main entrance and were seen by the principal. Principal: "Why don't you climb over the wall?" The student pointed to the whole body and said, "Anta, I choose, I like it!" " "The headmaster is furious, remember that students are more serious. The students refused to accept it. The headmaster sneered: "M-Zone, my site listens to me!" "

3. "Do you like it?" "I like it!" "Do you want it?" "yes!" "Try it?" "good!" "Then take it off!" "Is it comfortable?" "Comfortable!" "Does it hurt?" "It doesn't hurt!" "Can you still go in?" "Yes!" "Well, buy this pair of shoes!"

4. You borrowed a pair of wings from a bird and a dress from Baiyun, then flew to me on a mop arrow and said to me affectionately, "The bird man is like me!"

5. Are you depressed? Do you want to go on holiday? Please call 1 10 as soon as possible to win a seven-day stay in the detention center and a trip beyond! Now call to send exquisite handcuffs, fashionable prison clothes, free police car transfer and so on! You can also enjoy a free haircut before 10! Hurry up and act!

6. Jianghu knows that you are skilled in martial arts, but you can't be proud. You should constantly improve your swordsmanship, so that there are people in the sword and people have swords. If you do this, you are not alone, but a swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman!

7. One day, we came to a wishing pool. I made a wish and threw a coin into the well. You wanted to make a wish, but you accidentally fell into the well when you bent down to throw a coin. I paused and muttered, "How fucking smart!"

8. Your quality is as strong as plum blossom; Your personality is as subtle as a glacier; You have a convincing connotation; You are so cool! So all of us respectfully call you "Yokai Cool (without underwear)!"

9. God said he could grant me a wish. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace. God says this is too difficult, change it! I took out your picture again and said to make this man smart. As a result, God immediately said, Bring me the globe and let me have a look.

10, if you are racing with a bear, please choose: 1. You run faster than a bear. You run as fast as a bear. You run slower than a bear.

Answer: 1. You are worse than an animal. 2. You are an animal. You are worse than animals.

Husband: "Why did God make women so beautiful and stupid?" Wife: "This truth is very simple. Let us be beautiful, and you will love us. Let's be stupid and we will love you. "

I was deeply attracted by you the first time I saw you! Your lovely face and elegant sofa sitting posture make me move! Especially your lazy voice when you speak: aim. ...

On the journey of our friendship, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot you, let alone you. But I chose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fell, I ran up and stepped on your feet.

You are as hardworking as a bee, as beautiful as a butterfly, as loyal as a puppy, as smart as a kitten, as simple and honest as an old cow and as fierce as a tiger. No wonder people call you an animal.

Please take an item weighing 1 15 Jin and weigh it yourself, and jump off at the 30th floor. If the goods fall before you, you are lighter and need to gain weight; If you land before the goods, you are overweight. If you land with items at the same time, your weight is standard, just 1 15kg.

Please believe me, this will never be a lie. I am sincere to you, but you don't understand. A person who loves you deeply understands how difficult it is to love you, but his infatuation will remain unchanged for life! Please look at the second word in each line. )

7 The new product "Feeling of Heartache" 1 yuan is sold in the bar. Curious people bought a cup, and really felt heartache: it was just a cup of boiled water.

A river of spring water makes a Jiang Tao, and one mountain is higher than the other. Send a message to the straw bag, the straw bag must take out his mobile phone, take out his mobile phone and look down, and find himself an idiot.

9 all say that meteors have a reaction! If I can, I am willing to wait under the starry sky until a star is touched by me and breaks through the silent night sky for me, and then let it fall on your sleeping pillow with my blessing-kill you!

1, I have been friends with you for so long, and you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to answer you. Therefore, in the next life, if you are a cow and a horse, I will definitely pull weeds for you to eat.

If you are a meteor, I will chase you. If you are a satellite, I will wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. Too bad you are an orangutan!

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart. Falling in love with you is my happy choice; Having you is my most precious wealth; Stepping into the red carpet is my eternal motivation. Unfortunately-I sent it to the wrong person.

Because of you, I believe in fate. Maybe all this is predestined by heaven, and it is God who has brought us together. What I want to say now is-what crime did I commit in my last life?

Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to drive away all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

6. God saw your desire and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; However, he also saw that there is no idiot in this world and created you by the way.

7. It is a pleasure to miss you! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing! However, lying to you is how to return a responsibility!

8. According to statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads read short messages with thumb buttons! Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late, pig!

9. If it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime, and it is really difficult to be a human being. But you're fine. You are right and innocent. I really envy you!

10, you can burn incense for three years in one year, and you can sleep with you in 10 years. Therefore, for the happiness of my next life, I am willing to convert to Christ.