Real estate developers funny jokes.

Be wary of the central uncle coming again!

1, what is urbanization? The accountant of the village committee replied: The government spent 80,000 yuan to requisition your 2 mu of land, and then sold it to the real estate agent for 4 million yuan. Then your son paid the down payment with 80 thousand yuan from land acquisition and 80 thousand yuan saved by the couple, and worked as a house slave for 20 years! Grandpa said tearfully after listening: I am his mother, isn't this a robbery? ;

2. What is exploitation? The village Committee accountant replied: you owe the bank 5 cents, and snowball to 694 yuan after 5 years; If you deposit 5 cents in the bank, it will take 2650 years to become 694 yuan.

3. What is medical insurance? The accountant of the village committee replied: ordinary people know that 100 yuan can be cured, so they will give you 1000 yuan to be cured, and then falsely reimburse 600 yuan and let you go out of 400 yuan by yourself, of which 100 yuan is for seeing a doctor, 100 yuan is for taking medicine, and 100 yuan is for taking medicine. Ordinary people should also be grateful and say: society is really good. For thousands of years, it is not until now that society has reimbursed us for medical expenses. Everything is happy.

2. God X has been launched! In a happy crowd, the reporter interviewed the old man: "What do you think the successful launch of Shenzhou 10 shows?" The old man thought for a moment and said, "It shows that it is more difficult for our country to solve problems such as corruption, education, housing, medical care, food safety, etc." !

3. Reporter: Grandpa, it will cost 6 yuan to Guangzhou soon. 300 million cemeteries, but only cadres are buried in this cemetery. what do you think? Grandpa: Is it buried alive?

4. Reporter: Grandpa, what do you think of this year's New Deal against corruption? Grandpa: You mean, the anti-corruption in previous years was all a joke?

A commercial plane crashed and all the leaders were killed. The investigation team asked the old man at the scene: Was no one alive at that time? Grandpa said with a simple and honest smile: Yes, yes. At that time, someone held my leg and said that he was not dead, but, you know, the leader would not tell the truth. I didn't believe what he said, so I buried him anyway. . .

7. Reporter: Grandpa, now farmers are rich and watch TV, but I heard that your TV can't be changed. Are they all programs? Grandpa: Yes, later the maintenance master said it would be fine after 7: 30. ;

8. Reporter: Grandpa, do you often watch News Network? Do you know why there is always a clip of the package after each broadcast? Grandpa: Tell us, you brag in the draft.

9. Reporter: Grandpa, what do those patriotic films * Kong Fansen * * Jiao Enlu * * Ren Changxia * that praise our outstanding leading cadres have in common? Grandpa: All cadres who want to benefit the people will die in the end. Reporter:. . . . . . .

10, reporter: Grandpa, let's talk about literature. What's your research on the four classical novels? Grandpa: There are * Red Mansion * officials behind the officials, the second generation, the second generation, all the * Westward Journey * local governments are playing * Three Kingdoms * and ordinary people can only brew * Water Margin *;

1 1. Reporter: Grandpa, let's be happy. Everyone in the village says that you have earned 1 10,000 recently. Is it true?/You don't say. Grandpa: Yes, I found a mobile phone on the roadside that day and sent a message: Director Wang, please do that! I did not hesitate to send my bank card number.

12, reporter: With so much money, aren't you afraid of petty theft? Grandpa: No, I donated all my money to the Red Cross, not to mention petty theft. Now the whole world doesn't know where the money is. ;

14, I went to the noodle restaurant and asked for a bowl of beef noodles, but I didn't see a piece of beef after I served it. I was very angry and called my boss. Why is there no beef in the beef noodles? The boss said flatly, "Don't take the name seriously. Do you still expect to eat your wife from the old lady's cake? " When did you see someone sitting in the Great Hall of the People? "