Putonghua joke

1: After a shipwreck, 1 female passengers and 10 male passengers drifted to a desert island.

A month later, this woman committed suicide because she thought what happened this month was really disgusting.

A month later, they decided to bury her because they thought what happened this month was really disgusting.

A month later, they decided to dig her up because they thought what happened this month was really disgusting.

A month later, God brought this woman back to life, because he thought what happened in these months was really disgusting.

2. An adult man came to a hotel. He saw many beautiful cars in the garage, so he asked the boss why there were so many beautiful cars. The boss told him that I have a five-year-old son who does three things. If you can follow suit, you can choose a car here and drive away. If you can't, leave your car. Many people can't do it, so. . He thought that what a five-year-old could do could not be done, so he tried. The boss took him to a room where there was a beautiful naked beauty. The child kissed her and he kissed her in return. Then the child touched the beauty all over her body, and he followed suit. Third, the child took out his little brother and bent it three times. . . . .

A man lived in seclusion in the deep mountains. One day, he lay naked on the grass to rest. Suddenly, a little girl picking mushrooms came: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5 ..." Finally, he gave up and left. This man is very happy. The next day he was still sleeping naked here, and a bear picking mushrooms came: "654.

It is said that Snow White and Cao live in a big forest. One day, Snow White finally couldn't bear loneliness. She grabbed Xiao Pi's head between her legs and said, "Tell the truth, tell a lie, tell the truth again, tell a lie again …" After saying this for a thousand times, the princess released Xiao Pi.

5. Two fishermen are fishing at the seaside. One day, a fisherman caught a mermaid. Above the fish's tail, she is a super beauty, but the fisherman wants to let her go. Another fisherman was puzzled and asked, "Why?" The first fisherman shrugged his shoulders and replied, "How come?"

6. Once in a Chinese class, after the teacher finished the idiom "looking for fish by the tree", please think about another similar idiom. A boy replied, "Kill the goose that lays the golden egg". The teacher corrected: "Wrong, begging for fish by the wood is a fruitless thing!" " The boy answered frankly, "teacher, I killed a rooster!" " "

7: A girl is dating her boyfriend. Although it was cold, she deliberately didn't wear a coat to give her boyfriend a chance to show off.

Woman: It's so cold today! I forgot to wear my coat.

I saw his boyfriend tighten his clothes and said, nothing, nothing. Fortunately, I remember to wear it. Otherwise, it will be just like you-it's freezing.

8: The lawyer is taking a statement for a woman whose husband left without a will.

"Didn't the deceased say anything before he died?" Asked the lawyer.

"You mean just before you die?" The woman cried and asked.

"yes." The lawyer said, "If it doesn't make you feel more sad, it will be useful to say it."

"Well," the woman replied, "my husband said before he died,' Who are you scaring? "You hit the opposite wall with that gun!" "

9: Xiao Zhang is always unhappy when he sees his colleague Xiao Li these days, so he asks, "What's wrong with you these days?"

Xiao Li said, "Alas! Upset, my girlfriend is pregnant and angry with me. "

Xiao Zhang: "It's all your fault for not taking protective measures."

Xiao Li: "No condom."

Xiao Zhang: "Then you have to bear the responsibility."

Xiao Li: "It's not that I don't want to be responsible, but the child is not mine."

Xiao Zhang: "What does this mean? Is it your girlfriend ...? "

Xiao Li: "I went to the park with her that night and made out with her. I wanted to do it, but she insisted that I wear a condom." You said I wasn't ready. Later, I saw one on the grass and picked it up and put it on. As a result ... "

10. On a beautiful morning, the sky was very clear, but a farmer was sitting at the door drunk.

A passer-by asked curiously, fellow villager, the weather is so good today, why don't you enjoy it and drink here instead?

The farmer replied, well, there are some things you can never explain.

Passerby: What misfortune happened?

Farmer: Today, when I was milking the cow, I poked it. The cow kicked over the tongs with her left foot.

Passerby: Bad luck, but not bad enough.

Farmer: Well, there are some things that you can never explain.

Passerby: What's next?

Farmer: I tied her left leg to a post with a rope and squeezed it. As a result, a bucket was just full, and she kicked it over with her right leg.

Passers-by asked with a smile, and then what?

Farmer: Well, there are some things that you can never explain. I also tied her right leg to the post, just filled a bucket, and she swept it down with her tail.

Passerby: It's bad enough. Forget it, don't be sad.

Farmer: Well, there are some things that you can never explain.

Passerby: What else? !

Farmer: I don't have a rope this time, so I'm going to tie her tail to the post with a belt. I pulled out my belt and grabbed her tail. At this moment, my pants fell off and my girlfriend came in. ......