Who can tell me jokes! Be funny! Laugh! The funnier the better!

1. One day, persimmons and pears argued about who was sexy. Please comment on passing peaches. Peach said disdainfully, "Gee, are you still so sexy?" Come here! Look at my body hair! ! !

2. Wukong is sucking on the ground with a magnet. Friar Sand said, Brother, what are you looking for? Wukong: Hey! I dropped my golden hoop, and it didn't take long to grow!

3. A group of space tourists landed on a strange planet, and the little Lisi God warned: "Don't pee anywhere here. Careless will create a new world. "

In court, Xiao Qiang stood in the dock, and the judge asked majestically, "Xiao Qiang, why have you been making counterfeit money?" ? Xiao Qiang said very grievance: Your Honor, if I can make real money, will I still make counterfeit money?

5. At lunch time, Xiaoming pushed the bowl to Xiao Gang next to him: "Try the rice I brought …" Xiao Gang scooped up a spoonful and put it in his mouth. Xiao Ming added: "How about it? After two days, can I still eat? "

6. As soon as I stuttered for dinner, the young lady stuttered with a bottle of XO and asked, "How much is it?" Miss: "Three thousand." Stuttering: "Open, open, open ..." Miss plopped open the lid and stammered: "Are you kidding?"

7. The girl told her lover that you haven't sent me flowers for a long time. The boy said, ah, what flowers do you like? The girl is angry: we have been together for so long, don't you know? I like "rich flowers"!

8. Xiao Zhang was fired by his boss, and Xiao Wang asked why. Xiao Zhang said sadly, there is no way. There are two reasons. The boss says I can't do anything serious. The boss says I can't do anything serious.

9. The optometrist teaches the newcomer the price: he asks how much, and you say 600 yuan; If he doesn't blink, you say it's the price of the frame; If he doesn't blink, you say 400 yuan, and you say: one piece.

10. The stallion excitedly came to the donkey with a divorce certificate. He was overjoyed and said, hey! I'm finally leaving! The donkey sighed, alas, we can look forward to this day! Mule! Come here, this is your father!

1 1. Cobra is highly myopic. After the first date with the elephant, Cobra said to the elephant's nose, Hey, come on, it's very kind of you to bring such a big pig!

12. The police officer who executed the death penalty walked into the cell and announced the order to the prisoner while shaking his raincoat. The prisoner said in surprise, it's raining so hard to go to the execution ground. The officer said, what do you have to complain about? I have to come back in the rain!

13. A Qiang went to the psychological clinic for a test. The male doctor said: There is good news and bad news. I have read your test results. You're gay! A Qiang: My God! What's the good news? The male doctor said shyly, I think you are so handsome!

14. A middle-aged man is buying underwear. He took a pair of underwear and looked at it carefully. Suddenly he asked, does it look good on you? I only heard the salesgirl say angrily, Go home and ask your wife!

15. On a full moon night, at the top of Huashan Mountain, I am alone and have a far-reaching vision. I have an object in my hand, facing the sky, pulling back and stretching. After running three times, I looked up and shouted: there is no signal here!

16. When my husband came home from work, he found his wife lying in bed. The husband asked with concern: Wife, are you uncomfortable? The wife nodded. Husband quickly comforted: you don't have to worry about cooking, I'll take you back to the kitchen later!

17. On the train, a white woman and a black woman are breast-feeding their baby. "Mom, mom," the white baby stopped to play the woman, "I want chocolate milk, too."

18. "I just smoke a little more frequently. Later, I watched a health program on TV, saying that smoking is harmful to health and easy to die suddenly. Scared me. A grind one's teeth and stamp one's feet, from then on ... ""Quit smoking? " "Don't watch this program."

19. What is the reason for the fight between a coal seller and an egg seller? The egg seller said, is there anyone like him? I shouted: eggs, he immediately: sold coal (no)!

20. A student is having a physical examination for vocational school entrance. "Do you often stutter like this?" The doctor asked. "No, no, not often, only when talking, only, only in this way.

* * * Article 20 Oh, please adopt it! !