Do you have to face some heartache and pain in life to grow?

You don’t have to face some heartache and pain in life to grow.

We have heard too many inspiring stories of comebacks from troughs. But this may just be survivorship bias. All you hear are the stories of successful people, and you have no chance to see the losers. Not everyone can grow because of suffering. Maybe many people fell under the misery. People who are trapped in suffering cannot escape it, so why should we pursue it?

We do not personally experience the suffering of others, but the nature of suffering is subjective and it is difficult for others to empathize with us. We should not judge other people’s experiences from our own standpoint. Just like people who don't have depression shouldn't talk to people who have depression: "It's not a big deal. Just be stronger."

We have no standards by which to judge someone else's strength versus surviving hardship. Whether the relationship exists or not, therefore, not being arbitrary when judging the suffering of others is the minimum respect for people.

There are many paths to growth. The books you read, the paths you take, the world you see, and your reflection on yourself can all bring about growth. Why is the “Growing Through Pain” approach so popular? Even if there is no suffering, there will still be the idea of ??suffering...

The reason why suffering can bring growth to people is because sometimes it cannot be escaped, and we must grow to overcome it. If we are lucky enough to grow up in a safe and comfortable environment, why should we force suffering? If you become stronger in the face of pain, why thank it? You should be grateful for your efforts.

Since pain is not worthy of gratitude, why did so many people who lived a hard life in the past preach that "people just have to suffer a little"? Wang Xiaobo once said: "Humans are animals that can deceive themselves. We have suffered a lot of useless suffering and wasted a lot of time, so some people want to say that this experience is noble."

The reason behind this assertion is that people try to rationalize their suffering and regard these sufferings as a kind of training for themselves in order to escape the sense of loss of control of their own destiny.