Joke disk

1, the bowl fell off, and it was a big scar.

2. When I was a child, my sister asked me what time it was, and I replied: three poles (half past three)!

Once, I weighed myself at home and asked my boyfriend, how much is 47 kilograms?

In the past, the first sentence when I went back to the dormitory always asked, "Did anyone call me?"

When I was in high school, my classmates and I went to a restaurant. I ordered a few dishes, but I still want to add something. I was going to say scrambled eggs with tomatoes. I don't know what happened, but what I blurted out turned out to be-tomatoes fried with tomatoes. The boss thought for a long time.

6. Once I had dinner with my cousin at home, I accidentally poured the soup and used up all the tissues. Cousin shouted "Hurry up, hurry up, go to the toilet paper".

7. When something at the same table falls to the ground, bend down to pick it up and occasionally step on it with your feet. Unexpectedly, I stepped on his hand, and he was furious: "Dare to step on my foot? ! "

8, a literary evening, the host came to the stage and announced: Please enjoy: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull!

Creepy! ! ! ! !

9, the exam score is very low, I complain in distress: my score is too cheap!

10, tigers don't send cats, you think I'm dying!

1 1. When I was in high school, the classroom discipline was very chaotic. In a rage, the teacher picked up XX and said, XX, stand on the wall for me!

12, once a foreign teacher gave a lecture in a big classroom to show Mandarin. I wanted to give him a face and praise him for speaking standard Mandarin, but exporting became your standard.

13, and MM in front of the booth selling soybean milk fried dough sticks, I shouted, "Boss, I want a bean paste", and MM smiled.

14, once I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?"

15, there were so many people in the restaurant that I shouted: boss, a pepper without seasoning.

The waiter also loudly repeated: 1 1 table, add a pepper without seasoning! ! !

16, I: That's our physics teacher.

Classmate: What do you teach?

Me: Chemistry.

17. In the Internet cafe, a classmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted, "Teacher!"

18, once, everyone was evaluating the back of a beautiful woman in front. I was going to say "her legs are thick", but I said "her soil is brittle."

19, before my mother went out to play mahjong, she said to me, "You put all your clothes in the refrigerator and clean up all the dishes in the washing machine."

20. Sit in a restaurant, just make a phone call, and the network management will serve.

2 1, one day my MM went out shopping!

Suddenly I saw a crow croaking in the sky!

Then a word popped out of her mouth: "This black frog barks like a green crow.

I feel dizzy.

22. In high school, the national flag was raised every Monday, and then someone spoke, mainly about some daily behavior norms. Once, I was honored to give a speech and accidentally read "Don't make noise in the theater" as "Don't make noise in the brothel". At that time, all the teachers and students were present, and there were many school leaders. I am so cold.

23. I want to say that qq can't be opened. It is said that QQ can't be opened.

24. When reading a text in junior high school, XX wandered in the corridor. I read XX as a slutty teacher in the corridor, and my face turned red.

25. In high school, I went out to play with my classmates. There is a Everbright Bank next to the school, which has just opened, so the brand is still hung with red cloth, but the cloth is hung on the Chinese characters, blocking the words. I read "China Everbright Bank". My classmates laughed so crazy that I couldn't hold my head up for years!

26. One person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then brought out a cold sentence: if you drink too much urine, you will drink too much wine.

27. Once I listened to the radio, what was the shopping guide hotline? Someone called in and the host asked him, "What's your name?"

He replied, "Don't take your name!"

28, buy oranges, boss: one yuan and five pounds. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no.

29. When reading the text in junior high school, the soldiers' joy of victory was beyond words: "We only worked hard to get a monument for everyone! (commemorative coin) "

30. Just returned to Chengdu, GG and my second brother drove to pick me up for dinner. As soon as I got on the bus, I shouted, Oh, I'm starving. Actually, I want to say that I am hungry. )