Are there any disgusting jokes or sketches?

First, I was dishonest when I was a child. An old farmer told me to educate me:

"60 years of suffering, no food, never throw the snot shit out ..."

Second, there was a rich man looking for a servant, and the topic of the interview was going to the toilet.

The first few came out without washing their hands after going to bed.

The rich man sent them away, and only one person washed his hands.

So the rich man kept him. But one day,

The rich man found himself out without washing his hands.

The rich man asked him why.

The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

Third, a man saw a store having a big sale and went in.

"What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food."

"We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog."

"Where is such a rule?"

"This is the case with goods on sale."

The man spent a long time bargaining with the salesman.

The salesman still refused to sell it to him. There is no way.

The man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food.

A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food.

"Give me two boxes of cat food."

"We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat."

It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time.

I still have to go home and take the cat to buy cat food.

A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole in it.

Find the clerk "What can I do for you?"

"Just put your hand in and you'll know."

The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. "

"I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

Fourth, a man and a friend went to visit his grandmother.

When he was talking to his grandmother,

His friend started eating peanuts on the coffee table.

Eat all the peanuts, and when they leave,

His friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts."

Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Since I lost all my teeth,

I can only suck the chocolate out. Old, alas. . .

Fifth, some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much.

Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again.

But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out.

"Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment.

"Sir, really sold out.

You see, the last copy was sold to the gentleman at that table. "

The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions,

I saw a decent gentleman sitting next to me.

This gentleman's food is almost finished,

But that "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full.

The man thought that a gentleman wasted delicious food, so he went to the gentleman.

Pointing to the "spicy vermicelli pot",

Ask politely, "Do you want more, sir?"

The gentleman shook his head gracefully.

So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down.

After a while, he swallowed half of it and suddenly found that,

At the bottom of the casserole lies a little mouse covered in hair.

A burst of nausea, the man spit all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole.

When he turned his stomach there,

The gentleman looked at him sympathetically,

He said, "Isn't it disgusting? I just like this ... "

6. On this day, the hotel owner is patrolling the lobby. A beggar stepped forward and said,

"Can the boss give me a toothpick?" The boss gave him one and sent it away.

After a while, another beggar came to ask for a toothpick.

The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now?

I gave him one and sent it away.

Soon, another beggar came.

The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too?"

The beggar said, "Someone threw up and I came late.

The first two beggars have eaten everything they can eat,

Now there is only soup left. Can you give me a straw? "

There was a farmer flying, and the stewardess was afraid that he would get airsick and threw up all over the floor, so she told him:

"Wait a minute when you want to vomit, just spit in this bag. Don't spit outside! "

The farmer agreed. The stewardess left, and later came back to see the farmers obedient before throwing up in the bag.

So she went back, and when she came out again, she found the whole plane throwing up everywhere.

Only the farmer looked at the stewardess innocently, and the stewardess asked what was going on. The farmer said this: "I was about to throw up, so I drank half a bag for fear of throwing up outside." The results were all vomited. "

Eight, a male fly and a female fly are lying on the stool. When * * * enters the "dinner",

The mother fly asked, "Dear, why do we eat shit?" .

The male fly said, "Don't say such disgusting things when eating, hurry up!" " ! Eat while it's hot ~ ~ "

Nine, one day, Big Brother and Second Brother went to the theater to see the play again. When they saw that they were arguing about the plot development halfway, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost and took a sip with a frown. The two then bet on the following plot. This time, the second child lost. I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and drank fifteen gulps. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! " "