Who has funny jokes or cold jokes?

The sound of the car suddenly braking.

A and B collided on the stage, and B fell to the ground. A well-dressed, with a suit and tie. B wearing overalls.

B (I feel pain when sitting on the ground, cover my waist with my hand and shout "Ouch, Ouch").

A (B got out of the car angrily and fell with his finger on the ground): "No eyes!" "

B (looking at A on the ground in amazement): "You hit me, you are so unreasonable!" "

A (pointing to the car behind him): "Look clearly, this is the car!" "

B (angrily): "What happened to the car? Should I hit someone? "

A (cunningly): "Car, how big is my car? Are you panting with long eyes? " You said you were a broken bike, you didn't know your identity, and you couldn't go far! Get up and get out of my way! "

A (kicking B): "You say you are a big man, so why are you attractive!"

B (shaking his head painfully on the ground): "You are so unreasonable. I fell and couldn't move. "

A (pointing contemptuously at B): "You want to mistake someone for someone else, don't you?" (I shook my head helplessly and took money out of my pocket and handed it to B): "Well, it's my bad luck. Here's 5 yuan and leave quickly. "

B looked at A, speechless with anger.

A (taking money out of his pocket again): "Too little, isn't it? This is 10. Let's go. "

B (glaring at A): "You are insulting people!"

A (takes money out of his pocket and throws it to B): "Twenty dollars, your broken bike is not worth much. I wouldn't give you a penny if I wasn't in a hurry today. "

B (throwing the money back to A): "Take your stinking money." (glaring at armour).

A (pointing to the car behind him): "Open your eyes and see whose car this is! You don't believe that you have no eyes. I can't get up, can I? After a while, the police ignored you and came over. "

C) Dressed as a policeman, I came in a hurry on a motorcycle. ) shouted: "get out of the way, get out of the way. Make way, make way. "

A (waving to C): "Hey, police, come here."

C ignores a and goes straight to the car number.

C (looking down at the license plate): "888888." (Turning his head and whispering to the audience): "My mother, the mayor's car."

A (rushing to C): "Look at it clearly, do you know it?"

C (winking at A and angrily walking to B who groans on the ground): "No eyes!"

B (glaring at C): "Who are you talking about!"

C (glanced at A guiltily and whispered, "Do you have eyes?"

A (walks over and grabs C by the collar): "Who are you talking about?"

C (quickly pointing to B on the ground): "I said-him."

B (Angry denunciation C): "What kind of police are you, so indiscriminate? He hit me, don't you understand? "

C (pointing to B on the ground): "I mean, your bike has no eyes. Look at other people's cars. There are two lights in front, which are two big eyes. Do you have a bike? " So you don't have eyes, so you ride everywhere. "

A (also yelling at B): "You have the guts to hit my car. You can't afford the money. Hard work is not worth a wheel. "

B: "Is my life so worthless?"

C (shaking hands with B) "What do you think?" .

B (accusing C): "As a policeman, is this how you handle traffic accidents?"

C (walks over to caress the car and says to B): "Yes, only in this way will I not lose my job. What a nice car! That's great. Look at that bully. He doesn't say a word here. Let me wipe it quickly. " (doing car washing).

A (to C impatiently): "All right, all right, let him go away quickly. I am going to pick up the mayor now, which has delayed the mayor's business. "

B (pointing painfully at C): "He hit me."

Colonel (to Jia Chong): "He hurt his leg."

A (looking anxiously at B): "It's just a calf, I'll take it!" " "

B and c looked at a in surprise.

C (looking at B's leg and turning to A): "He is a thigh."

A: "What happened to the thigh? Worth a few dollars! "

B (angrily): "How much do you think my leg is worth?"

A: "Our old mayor said that the thighs of female stars are the most valuable and can't be touched. You little common people, "

B and C looked at A doubtfully: "What?"

A: "One dollar at most."

B (angrily scolding A): "The scum of society will be punished sooner or later." (Turning to C again): "Is there a policeman like you? Don't even do the minimum investigation! "

C: "Good, good, good, do research. You say, you say, how did this car hit? "

B: "He turned suddenly without even turning the turn signal, and knocked me down. Does anyone drive like this? "

C (turning to A): "Why don't you turn on the turn signal?"

A (impatient): "What is a turn signal? He didn't make me angry. Why should I hit him? " (waving his fist at C): "If you mess with me, I'll kick him!"

C (surprised to ask A): "Can you drive?"

A (glaring at C): "Joke, can you not drive the mayor? Tell you, I used to be a super driver, equivalent to a senior title. "

C: "You can drive and don't even know what a turn signal is?"

A (anxiously): "That was just a joke. Don't I even know what a turn signal is? " But I haven't used it for ten years. "

C: "ten years without driving?"

A (glancing sideways at C): "I have been driving for the mayor for ten years."

C: "doesn't the mayor need to turn on the turn signal when driving?"

A: "As soon as my car started, everyone gave way to me. The steering wheel is of little use except for the throttle and brakes. "

B (angrily reprimanded): "You drive like this, and the police don't care?"

A (to B): "Who cares?" (turns to C): "How dare he?"

A (continue C): "See that building in front?"

C (inexplicably nodding): "Yes."

A (glancing sideways at C and B): "I'm driving, and it has to make room for me!" " "

C (helping B with his hand): "Did you hear that? Get up! The building has to make room for others, "(pointing to the bicycle that fell to the ground):" You should pull over when riding a broken bicycle. " (tugging at B's work clothes): "With your work clothes, can you go to the streets of our city?" Don't insist. "

B (stubbornly shaking off C's hand): "What's wrong with riding a bike? What's wrong with wearing overalls? Should I be beaten in the street? "

C: "Do you work in this city? Why don't you know your identity? Take the initiative to pull over when riding a bike, and stay away when you see a car. Do you understand? "

B (angrily): "What's wrong with my job in this city? Is there no traffic rules and laws and regulations in this city? "

A (rushing to B): "As long as you work in this city, if you don't get up today, you will be laid off tomorrow."

C (also reluctantly agreed): "You can get the money for repairing the car."

B (angrily pointing to A): "He hit me. Can I get up? "

C to help B, B struggling painfully. A got into the car mysteriously, started the car and honked the horn hard. C dodged in surprise, and B stumbled to one side.

C (surprisingly helping B again): "You broke it!"

(Get out of the car. Pointing to b): "I just stood up and pretended to be dead. I was wrong!" "

B (holding his thigh painfully and pointing to armour): "Run over me if you dare!"

A (to B contemptuously): "To tell you the truth, I was transferred to drive for the mayor because of my high driving skills. I learned to rush forward in traffic jams two years before driving;" I learned to run a red light in the past two years. Today, it's my first day to meet the new mayor. I didn't expect to meet you. If the old mayor is still here, I just ran over you today, and it's just ... "

B asked, "What happened?"

A (haughtily): "I'll buy you an urn."

B (angrily): "You are simply lying! When the new mayor comes, your days of being bullied will be over! "

A (dismissively rushing to B): What do you know as an ordinary person? The new mayor is also a human being. When he comes, he can't leave me. "

B asked, "Do you know the new mayor?"

C (rushing to B): "What do you mean, the mayor's driver can't know the mayor?"

A (pulls C aside and whispers): "The mayor is new here, and I really haven't met him. On his first day at work, he said he was going to plant trees. On my way to pick him up, I met this unlucky ghost and quickly dragged him away. "

C (asks A doubtfully): "How can you meet the mayor if you don't know him?"

A (glancing at C contemptuously): "Antique, I know the address of the mayor, and the mayor knows my car number." (He put his hand on C's ear and whispered): "Planting trees is actually a show. Unlike our old mayor, he never does such useless things."

C asked, "Where is the old mayor?"

A (depressed answer): "I went out for an inspection."

C: "Going out for inspection will not change the mayor, will it?"

A (with a sigh): "He went to a bad place."

C asked, "Where have you been?"

A (pointing to the distance): "Prison."

C (puzzled): "It is normal for the mayor to visit the prison. What's wrong? "

A: "Yes, I won't come back!" "

C (suddenly enlighted): "After such a big turn, you are said to have been sentenced."

A (furious): "Don't insult our old mayor, what do you know as an ordinary person!" "

B (groaning painfully): "The common people know everything. They will not insult any honest official, but they can also see the face of any corrupt official. "

C (thumbs up to B): "The people are right." (Turn to A): "Is it corrupt?"

A (sticking out a finger and facing the audience): "In the end, the corruption was less than100000. You said you had to go to jail for this money. Is it unfair? "

C (on the phone): "100000! Shouldn't it be shot? "

A (rushing to C): "Look, you are old-fashioned. What is100000? 100000 is enough for what? Not enough to feed his five little lovers! "

C (surprised again): "Five lovers!"

A (glanced at C contemptuously): "Isn't it just five little lovers?" What are you shouting? "

C (depressed): "I haven't got a wife yet!" " "

B (groaning loudly, touching his leg with one hand and pointing at A with the other): "It's nonsense for you to defend him!"

A (walks up to B and gently pushes B): "Are you greedy?"

B was forced to "ouch, ouch, yell and hide."

A (mocking B): "Look at your bear, didn't you just hit it lightly?" Can't you get up Our old mayor, I drive him from this lover to that lover and then to that lover every night, and sometimes he hasn't finished the transfer until dawn. The little lover who didn't take the steering wheel waited all night for nothing. The mayor couldn't bear it, so he had to send me to comfort him. "

B and C: "Ah!"

A: "Don't get me wrong, we are very principled. I just went to convey the mayor's instructions: there is no round tonight, and tomorrow night is the first round. I am very professional. "

B: "So you have worked hard enough. Is it worth working for him like this? "

A: "He is very kind to me!" (He walks up to B and leans against C): "I'm not bragging to you. My position in his mind is ... "

B (looking down at A): "How come?"

A (proudly): "Next to him is his purebred pug."

B (dismissively): "It turned out to be worse than a dog!"

A (Chong B): "Don't underestimate his pug, there are usually special nannies to wait on him. Just say eat it, one meal can cover your food for a month. "

C (leaned in): "What does it eat?"

A (proudly): "It eats nothing but half a catty of lobster. Don't smell one or two more, don't eat one or two less. "

C: "Even dogs are different from others. I don't know what lobster looks like yet. "

A (to C contemptuously): "Every time I buy it back, the mayor always says: I'll give it to you if it eats the rest. You see, the mayor is so kind to me. "

B (Jia Chong): "It's good for you. It seems that you have to follow him sooner or later. "

Answer: "When I bumped into you today, you were lucky enough to touch the mayor's car, otherwise you wouldn't even look at it again. You should be honored."

B (angrily questioned): "I still feel honored that you hit me?"

A (smiling): "Yes, think about it. Is the mayor visible to ordinary people? " Even if I saw one, I just glanced at it from a distance. What about you? Today, I have a warm hug! "

C (after hearing this, he smiled and said to B): "If you think like this, you won't feel wronged."

B (angrily accusing C): "As a policeman, do you still talk about principles?"

C (to B): "I used to be a battalion chief, and I was very principled."

B: "Why not say it now?"

C (angrily to B): "I fined the second cousin of the old mayor's aunt's car and became the monitor."

A: "Who made you blind?"

B: "When you are reduced to monitor, you will not be principled?"

C (raising her voice angrily): "Later, she handled the car of the second aunt of the mayor's sister-in-law, and now she is an ordinary traffic policeman."

B: "Ordinary traffic police don't talk about principles?"

A: "Principles? Haha, I became a small policeman, and I can't even reach the mayor's dog ass! "

C (angrily questioning A): "What happened to the little policeman? My little policeman also has principles! You can't insult me! "

A rushed to C: "What's wrong with insulting you, you little policeman? Don't forget, look clearly, this is the mayor's car today, huh! "

C (angrily "bang, bang" throws two white gloves to the ground and rushes to the armor): "What a shame! Don't say whether you are the mayor's car or the governor's car today, I will also be punished. Otherwise, I am sorry for this police uniform. "

A (not to be outdone): "Ah, a small policeman has such a big temper! Not afraid of being laid off? I'm telling you, although the old mayor went in, it was still the mayor's car. If you have a problem with me, you have a problem with the mayor. "

B (loudly telling A): "I'm the mayor. You must be punished today. "

A and C both looked at B in surprise, and then,

A (laughing and kicking the bicycle on the ground): "This is the mayor" (kicking the motorcycle again) "Then this is the governor" (patting the car again) "I am the prime minister."

C (to B): "You don't have to scare him."

B (solemnly): "I didn't scare him."

C (angrily pointing to A): "Look, you not only crashed his body, but also crashed his nerves. If you want to leave today, no way. People must be sent to the hospital. "

Just then, A's cell phone rang.

A (answering the phone): "Hello, it's me, OK, OK, hello, director, good morning. I haven't received the mayor. What, the mayor came out from home by bike? " (Party A looks at Party B as he talks, and his voice is shaking more and more): "The mayor is wearing work-work-clothes ..." (Before the words are finished, his mobile phone has fallen to the ground and plopped on Party B): "The mayor ..."

C (stare at B in surprise, and then salute in surprise. Mumbling): "My God, it's great that the last principle is back!" "

B wants to return the gift, and the pain is "ouch".

A (get up from the ground to help B and shout at C): "Call an ambulance!"

B (shaking off A's hand): "You go, I don't need you here."

A (flattery): "Mayor, I was wrong. I'm really not human. Do you have a pug? "

B (loudly denouncing A): "No!"

C (Jia Chong): "You can't eat lobster."

B (to C): "There are many people here, so hurry to divert the traffic!"

C (shouting at once): "Get out of the way, bike ..."

B (waving to C): "If you shout like this, it will remind people of the official luck of feudal society. The' avoid' on the front sign makes the people uncomfortable."

C (apologizing to B): "The mayor is right."

A (at most flattering): "The mayor is really sympathetic to people's feelings. Look at me. "

C shouted, "Get out of the way, bike, since ..."

One shouted, "Make way for me ..."

B (angrily at them): "Huh?"

A and C say together, "Get used to it."