Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Beihezhuanggongqu
Beihezhuanggongqu
The exploration and construction area is high in the west and low in the east, and the terrain is stepped. It is bordered by Taihang Mountain in the west, hilly area in the middle and North China Plain in the east. Fuxiang River crosses the whole work area from northwest to southeast and finally flows into the Yellow River. Gullies, swamps, rivers and villages crisscross the whole area, which is not suitable for drilling and seismic geophysical exploration.
As mentioned earlier, Ye Ping County is located at the junction of Hebei, Shaanxi and Henan provinces. Although its economic development and traffic construction are relatively slow, it is an important export connecting several provinces, so its strategic position is very important and it has always been a battleground for military strategists.
It is said that when Liu Deng's army marched thousands of miles into Dabie Mountain, its main force marched from southern Shandong. When the Kuomintang finally got through, all the troops broke through in accordance with Liu Deng's instruction that "Don't cling to the war, going out is victory". On one occasion, an army made a detour from Shandong to Ye Ping County, ready to go south. Here, it met an army of the Kuomintang and fought a fierce battle. In order to compete for this crossroads where several provinces meet, both sides paid a heavy price. Of course, this is only a legend, and the authenticity of the story remains to be further verified by historians.
Nowadays, the second exploration team of Jiyuan Coalfield Geology Bureau is trying to find the rich coal resources hidden underground in Ye Ping County. Moreover, Beihezhuang Coalfield in Ye Ping County is located in the "black belt" of coal in North China, and the coal reserves of more than 2 billion tons in the mine field will probably become the pillar industry of the county's economic development, and will also become a growth point of the city and even the whole province's energy development. The provincial and national coal geological survey bureau has identified this mine field as a key project of provincial energy construction, giving priority to development. The county party committee and government of Ye Ping are very happy about this, which is undoubtedly a huge gold ingot for an agricultural county with very tight finances. In order to express gratitude to the Second Team and for better cooperation in the future, Ye Ping County decided to invite the heroes who discovered the gold ingot.
On this day, the county party secretary Fang, county magistrate Ma Zhiyuan and other county leaders personally hosted a banquet in the county government guest house to entertain the leaders of the geological team. I wish the team leader, secretary of the Party Committee, and leaders of the team were invited to attend the banquet. The head of the 206 drilling crew and Li also attended the banquet. They drilled the first probe hole and two fine holes respectively.
At the beginning of the banquet, Party Secretary first made a toast on behalf of the county party committee and county government. He warmly praised the geological team for bringing wealth, hope and enthusiasm to 420,000 people in Ye Ping County. He is a close friend and partner of the people of the county on the road to a market economy and a well-off society. I hope that the two sides will strengthen ties, support each other and develop together in the future.
I wish the captain a thank-you speech afterwards, thanking the Ye Ping county government for its warm reception, thanking the people of the county for their strong support and help to the exploration work of the geological team, and saying that they will never live up to the expectations and love of the people of the county, and must complete the drilling, production and construction tasks comprehensively, seriously and safely on schedule, so as to ensure that the construction process will not pollute the environment and cause unnecessary economic losses to the people. At the same time, they also hope that local governments at all levels and farmers will understand the inevitable destruction in the exploration.
Then, Ma Zhiyuan, the host of the banquet, stood up and said loudly, "I propose that in order to thank the geological team for their strong support and help to our county's economic work, and to further strengthen contact, mutual support and common development between the two sides, cheers!"
The two sides raised their glasses, clinked glasses with each other, and each took a symbolic sip, which was regarded as "cheers".
County magistrate Ma said with a smile: "I wish captain and secretary He, although it is the first time for us to drink together, we have long heard that comrades of the geological team can drink. It is a kind of fate to have the opportunity to sit together today. Come on, our secretary is ill and can't drink. On behalf of the secretary, I propose a toast to you two and everyone. This glass of wine must be completely dry. Come-dry! " After that, he calmly drank the five-money cup full of wine, waved the cup down and smiled at the comrades of the geological team.
I wish the captain said quickly, "Ma County is a good drinker, so we did it!" " "Say that finish, also a dry wine. What the secretary and the second team and the county comrades, this time is really a toast. The atmosphere at the dinner table livened up.
Secretary He said gently, "Secretary Fang, county magistrate Ma, your county is vast in territory, rich in natural resources, simple in folk customs and excellent in natural environment. I believe that under the strong leadership of your party and government team, the pace of economic development in your county will certainly reach a new level within one year, and the careers of Party Secretary and Ma County will certainly be better. " Captain Zhu and I also propose a toast to you! "
The secretary of the municipal party committee smiled: "No, I'm flattered by Secretary He. Our county is vast in territory, rich in products and simple in folk customs, but the economic development is relatively slow, and it is really difficult for by going up one flight of stairs to grow year by year. However, if the coalfield geological work is done well in the future, the economic work of our county will definitely develop greatly. Therefore, I also thank you with this glass of wine. Well, for our common goal, I'll make an exception today, have a drink and do it! " Say, just like drinking Chinese medicine, drink the wine dry in infinite pain.
"Ok, thank you, thank you!" I wish the captain talk while drinking wine.
County magistrate Ma quickly put a braised prawn in the dish of Secretary Fang, pointed to the dish with chopsticks and served it enthusiastically: "Come, Secretary Fang, have a bite. Everyone eats vegetables! "
I wish the captain didn't expect that the level of chefs in this county hostel is still quite high, and the taste of this table of dishes can be put in a hotel in a prefecture-level city. Thought, it seems that the county's development in diet is better than economic construction.
Everyone ate for a while, and Ma County said enthusiastically, "I wish the captain, the secretary, it's not easy. Our party secretary generally doesn't drink. Today, you are important guests in our county and bring us wealth, so the party secretary made an exception and drank a glass of wine. Well, what's the advertising slogan? Yes, it's called' have a glass of green wine and make friends'. Indeed, although we didn't have much contact in the past, we hit it off today, and we hate getting to know each other too late. At first glance, Secretary He and Captain Zhu are also very honest people, telling the truth and doing practical things is admirable. I made a deal with you two as friends. In the future, whether it is exploration or your personal affairs, you need to do it in our county. Just ask, we will do our best. "
I wish the captain said, "Thank you! In the future, it will be necessary to trouble the party secretary and the county magistrate! "
What secretary nodded and smiled, "exploration of specific things by drilling crew comrades to implement, I and they all said, it's no big deal, don't disturb the county leaders. But thanks are still necessary, right? In order to show the hospitality of the other party's secretary and county magistrate Ma, let the captain of the 206 well team who completed the first exploration well for your county propose a toast to the leaders. " After that, he leaned down and shouted at a table next to him: "Lin Qiang, come-a toast to the leaders of Jingxian County!"
Lin Qiang picked up his cup and came to the main table. He stood up to the other party, county magistrate Ma and others and said, "Fang, county magistrate Ma and county leaders, I propose a toast to you on behalf of the construction drilling team. I did it, the leaders are free! "
"good!" Ma county raised his glass JingLinJiang. Other leaders in the county also raised their glasses to him, indicating that they had clinked glasses. On the left and right sides of Lin Qiang, one is the deputy magistrate in charge of culture and education, and the other is the director of the county office. The two of them held out their cups and Lin Qiang touched them.
The party secretary just smiled, but there was no glass.
County magistrate Ma really lives up to his reputation. When he saw this scene, he immediately said, "Captain Kobayashi, isn't it a bit boring to propose a toast to a table? I don't think you can do it. Let's have a drink alone with this small cup. Ah, well, young man? "
On this occasion, Lin Qiang can only promise. "Well, I will respect them one by one, starting with your county magistrate Ma!"
"Which can start from me, from the secretary. Captain Kobayashi has done it, and Secretary Fang has a drink! " County magistrate Ma said.
Lin Qiang said with reserve and pride, "Well, I'll respect the party secretary first. Secretary of the municipal party Committee, I did it, you are free! "
The secretary smiled and raised his glass and touched Lin Qiang, saying, "Well, this is a brave young man. Come on, cheers! " Then I took a sip.
Lin Qiang before he put down the glass, a young neck poured all the wine into his mouth.
The county magistrate filled up the wine and advised, "Captain Lin is a good drinker. Come and have a bite! "
Lin Qiang smiled: "Nothing. This second glass of wine, I should propose a toast to the county magistrate Ma! "
The county magistrate Ma stood up this time and said with a smile, "Good, there are no weak soldiers under the strong command. I wish the captain and Secretary He the greatest support for us by releasing such a promising young handsome boy from our county for direct inspection. I drank this cup! "
"Thank you Ma county magistrate for paying so much attention, then I will do it first!" Lin Qiang clinked glasses and drank them off.
Next, I propose a toast to several deputy heads and deputy secretaries. Cheers. Well, Lin Qiang just drank six or seven glasses of wine on this table, and nothing happened.
I wish the captain and the secretary a smile at one another. They are very satisfied with Lin Qiang's performance today. A leader, who doesn't want to have several Iliad under his command, can pull it out and rush up at a critical moment, even on the wine table. If his people are not sensible, you ask him to propose a toast, and he says he can't drink it. It's not good to criticize him on this occasion, so the captain had to fight one's own army. After such a game, both the captain and the secretary have to get drunk. But if his people are sensible but useless, that won't do either. Otherwise, when I finished honoring a county party secretary and then the second county leader, I began to get drunk carelessly: "What kind of wine is this ... I ... I can still drink one, one and one kilo, come ... Ma, Ma, Ma County magistrate, dry, dry, cheers, wow-"I ate it in one gulp. Therefore, we must choose the right person to propose a toast on our behalf. First, the person who toasts must be able to drink, which is the foundation; The second is to be sensible, which is the key; Third, we should have a good wine style, be eloquent, restrain and promote. You can't stop drinking.
The next day, more than 100 geological prospectors from three drilling teams of No.2 coalfield geological team and one seismic team entered the exploration work area of Beihezhuang mine field and started the exploration and construction of geological structure and coal seam distribution. ...
In the work area, Fuxiang River and Xiaoqing River cross north and south, and there are countless small rivers in the open space around the river. The water level in the middle of the river bed is unpredictable, which brings great difficulties to production. More than 80 fish ponds of different sizes are connected together in the East Construction Area; The vegetation in the south-central part is dense, and serrated Lala seedlings are everywhere. If you are not careful, you will cut your legs and feet, and the venom will penetrate into your skin. ...
Fuxiang River is a big river that flows down from the foot of Taihang Mountain, joins Xiaoqing River flowing from the north nearby, and then flows south into the closely connected Yellow River. This originally clear river has been regarded as a public dump by more than a dozen enterprises in the upper reaches for their own economic interests. All industrial sewage, construction waste and domestic waste are dumped into the river, resulting in black and sticky water pollution and suffocating stench. In the early morning, as soon as the breeze passed, farmers working by the river smelled a sour smell from a distance. Nothing grows on the beach, and the plants on both sides of the river are also depressed. The villagers on both sides of the river said that anything you water in this river will kill people. So now the locals don't call it Fuxiang River, but they call it "rancid River". The construction area of 206 drilling team and earthquake detachment is around Fuxiang River. It is very difficult to explore in the construction area under such conditions, and the difficulty can be imagined.
An exploration team was stationed and left without saying goodbye halfway.
Lin Qiang and Meng Xiaojun, the captain of the earthquake team, made a field survey. Facing the calm Fuxiang River, they were worried. The two knew that the task was arduous, but they thought that they had already patted the captain's chest and guaranteed the ticket, so they had to move on. When you come, I wish the captain to ask them how they are, what problems they have and whether they can complete the task. The two men looked at each other and said in unison, no problem, please rest assured, captain, we promise to finish the task resolutely!
Lin Qiang knows that it is very difficult to construct in this geological condition, but it is precisely because of the difficulties and risks that it is worth fighting for. Since we have made a promise to the captain, we must advance despite difficulties no matter how difficult it is, and we must dare to meet all kinds of challenges, otherwise we will only have the name of the ace drilling team. Only in this way can we fight our way out, and our 206 well team can cross the ups and downs and move towards new glory.
As the saying goes, all is fair in war. For a drilling team, there are only unqualified captains and no incompetent drillers. It depends on how you ask, manage and treat these people. When I first took over this drilling team, these people were all used to be lazy. After drilling, drinking, boxing, pulling mice and pushing Pai Jiu are all routine, and sometimes even going to karaoke bars or hair salons in towns and villages to have fun. If you don't get rid of these bad habits, your own drilling team is a group of stragglers and ragtag people.
Therefore, the word "strictness" is the key to create a high-quality driller team. Even if people don't understand at first, or even openly confront, they have to do it. Li and I discussed the three rules of the drilling team: don't drink before going to work, don't gamble after work, and don't accompany the massage lady to the ballroom or hair salon on holidays. And let Xu Bin copy a few copies and post them in the canteen, dormitory and drilling shed.
Li said: "They are all young people with excessive energy. In this wild land, life is monotonous. We must do something and not be too wronged, otherwise it will also affect our work and gay relations. "
Lin Qiang said, "You're right. So, what do you say to equip everyone with some entertainment equipment with the independent funds of our drilling team? "
"I think so. It can also change everyone's outdoor cultural life. Look at Wei Gang, the boy from the 208 well team. He bought TV and VCD for their well team early! "
Lin Qiang said: "We also buy TV, VCD, chess, basketball, and some professional technical books and literature books. Everyone watches, learns and plays!"
"Well, that's it. This is the construction of corporate culture and spiritual civilization. I am responsible for this matter! " Li said to him.
"Well, I believe you can do it. Oh, by the way, call Xu Bin when you go back. This boy knows this and can help you consult! "
Two days later, Li and Bin Xu bought a bunch of things, including color TV, VCD, karaoke machine, basketball, and a lot of technical books and literature books. The drillers were very happy. When they helped to unload the car and move it into the house, everyone was enthusiastic and full of energy, which was much more emotional than unloading a car full of drill pipes.
At night, there are various versions of male karaoke singing in the canteen of the work area. Everyone is very enthusiastic, so you will be very lively after singing. Zhang, in particular, never misses the opportunity to play basketball. As long as you hold the ball, you will run like a cat's back and throw it into another basket. There is no such thing as a walking foul. I dare to sing, even "The Sea" by the late Taiwan Province singer Tom Chang. When I sing other lyrics, my voice is so low that I can't hear anything clearly, but I can cry when I sing the following words-
If the sea can call back the love once,
Let me wait all my life;
If you don't miss the past,
Let it go with the wind:
If the sea can take away my sadness,
It's like putting every river ...
Everyone entertained themselves, singing and dancing, and had a good time. It was not until the workers in the small class had to take over that the "driller karaoke concert" ended.
Since then, the drillers hardly go to karaoke bars and dance halls after work, but Riikkala, the canteen in this work area, is ok. Think about it, too. I sing everywhere. Why should I go to that dirty place to sing? I also spend money. A pot of tea costs 30 yuan to 50 yuan. Is it black? You can play chess, play cards, sing songs, guess puzzles and watch TV in the canteen of the work area. Although the environment is not as good as the professional business premises, the life here is still very tasty, such as stewed pork vermicelli, stewed cabbage with vinegar, fried potato shreds, and sometimes diced chicken with Chili, mapo tofu and fried meat with garlic moss. How fragrant and lively! Zhang is even happier. He especially likes the karaoke hall in this canteen. He is tired and hungry, but he is not afraid. When the cook was not looking, he turned into the kitchen, opened the steamer, picked up a steamed bun and stuffed it in his mouth. I'm full. I'm strong. I'll shout when I come out. Worse. Let's have another difficult song "Qinghai-Tibet Plateau": Alasao, that's the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau-
That feeling is really cool!
A few days later, several other drilling teams of the whole team arrived one after another, and the fine investigation project of Beihezhuang minefield always officially started.
At the beginning of the battle, the earthquake team first encountered problems. Fuxiang River is about 300 meters wide. There is no bridge over the river. There are shoals on both sides of the river, with different channels in the middle. According to the best well location selected by surveying and mapping, Lin Qiang's drilling rig was installed on the river beach. Sometimes in the morning and evening, the river is big and rushes to the foot of the drilling rig. The earthquake construction team has to cross the river for wiring and shooting every day. He Jingmin, Zhang Minghui and Yu Haitao, who are in charge of erecting bridge lines, take the lead in erecting herringbone bamboo poles in shallow waters or rivers by boat every day. At first, they didn't know how bad the Fuxiang River was, so they didn't pay attention to the water on their hands. Soon, a lot of little red dot appeared, itching unbearable, scratching the skin and emitting yellow water. So, they put on gloves and protective cream to avoid hurting their skin.
Line shifting is the main force of earthquake construction, and the earthquake detachment has the most pay-off workers. They need to go back and forth to the river several times a day. Team leader Meng Xiaojun is in his thirties this year. He usually has a good relationship with Lin Qiang. He was very friendly when he met him.
On this day, Zhang got off work, so he took those who just didn't get off the bus and went to the village to drink together. When he first arrived at Fuxiang River, he saw a group of people from the earthquake team starting in the river.
Meng Xiaojun at this time, the whole is like a pay-off, which has the appearance of a captain. With more than 20 people, I was busy in the river. While commanding, he shouted loudly, waded in shallow water with bare arms and shorts at the same time, and then rowed the boat in the depths of the water and shuttled across the river beach. Where people are needed, Meng Xiaojun will go, and where he is busy, others will be there.
There are also deep pits in the shallow part of the river. Put on your underpants, you will fall in if you are not careful, and the smelly river will drown your whole body. If not washed with clear water in time, it will cause itching and pain all over the body. Some workers joked with Meng Xiaojun: "Hey, Meng Team is itchy all over, just like having an STD. You can't tell your wife if you go home. "
As soon as Zhang Yi listened to the music, he immediately went on to say, "I said buddy, then you said that ... yes, it's AIDS, just say that there are not many days to live. Look at your wife's attitude towards you." If you don't let go, hug as soon as you meet. As before, it means that your wife is ok and only loves you, otherwise it will be divorced. This is wrong! "
"Zhang, your boy has nothing to do. You are talking nonsense. Get out! " Meng Xiaojun stood by the river and shouted.
Zhang said with a smile, "Xiao-jun Meng, you really have a bite-you don't know how to rely on others. I'm not giving you advice. I am kind, too. I'm afraid your wife will cuckold you to remind you! "
"Roll you bastard, why don't you say your wife stole a man? Why didn't you say you had AIDS? Besides, there was no such thing, but it is not too wrong to say that it is this disease. "
"The elder brothers, joke I was right, if I have a wife, and you are still grinding idle teeth here, go home early and have a good chew. I am worried about you, but a friend in need is a friend indeed. What's wrong with using this to test your wife! "
"Go, stay, net nonsense. That's how wives are tested. You must be coaxed. I give you ten women, and eight of them will run away. The remaining two don't go, one is deaf, and she can't hear anything you say; The other is a fool and doesn't know what AIDS is. "
"I didn't say in the middle, you see, you are in such a hurry, it's awesome. Just like it's real. Really funny! Boring, really boring! "
"All right, don't talk nonsense, what to do, we have paid off. Hey, let's not just listen and be stupid, let's get to work! " Meng Xiaojun said with a cold face. Although he disliked Zhang playing such a joke on himself in front of his own men, he knew in his heart that Zhang was not malicious, but just wanted to have some fun and relax in this slightly obscene mutual teasing. But I still don't want him to say these bad things in front of his brothers.
In fact, Meng Xiaojun and the members of the line group of the earthquake team almost all tasted the water erosion across the river.
Because the river is extremely acidic, the surrounding air is full of sour gas. During construction, every lineman should have a piece of sandpaper. Because the large wire joint is acidic in contact with air, an oxide film will appear soon, which will lead to the insulation of the joint. The pay-off operator must first polish the connector with sandpaper. During the construction, the most headache of line shifting is that rivers and fish ponds crisscross like cobwebs, which brings difficulties to setting out and checking roads. Sometimes, because a line is impassable, the line shifts have to go around hundreds of meters to check the road and troubleshoot.
During the construction process, Lin Qiang, who is temporarily in charge of the work area command, always pays attention to the safety and quality of earthquake-resistant construction. Every day, except in the office of the work area and my own 206 well team, I spend the rest of the time running between the line shifts of each gun squad of the earthquake team, coordinating the relationship between the teams, and randomly checking the embedding of geophones and the depth of drilling holes. Find problems and solve them on the spot, leaving no future trouble.
In view of the geographical environment of Beihezhuang, the earthquake team held several safety officer meetings. Lin Qiang and Meng Xiaojun led the geological section of the workers' study group to formulate safety management measures for geological exploration and construction, so as to ensure that dangerous goods such as explosives and detonators are kept and distributed by special personnel. Several blasters in the blasting class are carrying blasters on their backs, working carefully and strictly implementing the operating procedures. If you find a potential safety hazard, you would rather stop production than fire a gun.
When midsummer comes, the weather temperature is often as high as 40℃, the sun is scorching overhead, and the yellow sand at the foot is boiling hot. People are like being in a steamer. The workers are working in the field, their upper body is sweating, their lower body is wet, and their coats and trousers are tightly wrapped together. It's really unpleasant Even so, the workers still insist on working at high temperature. Some people are dizzy, vomiting, flustered and weak. As long as they have a short rest, they will cheer up and continue to throw themselves into the intense battle. ...
The next night after Li returned home, he called to the dormitory and asked about the recent situation of the drilling team.
Jane gave a brief report on Lin Qiang's hospitalization, and then said, "Lin Qiang, one more thing. I don't know if I should say it? "
"Have something to say, have a fart! When did you learn to be so slow? ! "Lin Qiang said and threw a cigarette to Jian Gang.
Jane just caught the cigarette, took out her lighter, lit it, took a drag and said, "Come on, just say it. How should I look at this matter? I think Lao Li did something wrong. "
Lin Qiang in the mind a surprised, the surface is very dull. "What's the matter, so serious?"
Jane just took Li's recent state, especially when several people went to town to watch and drink, and made an oath to win the hearts of several group leaders. Finally, he said, "I was on duty that day, so I didn't go. The rest of the team leaders let Secretary Li go. Lin Qiang, we are good brothers, so let me remind you that you should beware of Lao Li. I heard that the team is going to set up a work area in Beihezhuang minefield, and is going to choose the work area leaders in several of our well teams. You have to be careful when he does this. "
"Oh, I also heard about the establishment of a workspace. As for where to choose the leader, this is a matter for the team to consider. As for me, just do my job. "
"Lin team, don't be silly. If you don't act at this critical time, it is equivalent to sitting still, and the position of the leader of the work area will never reach you. " Jane just persuaded.
"Wow, I really didn't see it. Your son is very good at this. You know very well! " Lin Qiang said with a smile.
"Lin Qiang, don't make fun of me. To be honest, this matter is too serious, but it is not enough if it is not serious. When it's time to shoot, I will shoot. If I didn't succeed, it was God's will that didn't help me. At that time, I will consider it. "
"Secretary li, who told you they were drinking?" Lin Qiang asked.
"Zhang told me that this boy still wants to be a monitor and vice monitor or something!"
"Well, that's it. Don't say it after you go out. "
"When did I do something wrong, you can rest assured that I will tell you anything in the future ..."
"Boy, you say you are fat, you can catch my breath. Go to sleep! " Er Qiang just finished and came to the building and threw him the box of cigarettes on his desk.
In the evening, Lin Qiang lies on his bed, as if he had baked a cake, and it stirred. Looking at the empty bunk on Lao Li's bed opposite, he felt an indescribable taste in his heart. In the dark, a swaying cigarette end lit up for half a night. ...
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