English jokes had better be short.

Men go to church and start talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "in one second" a man walked into the church and talked to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."

Once, two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down accidentally. He rolled his eyes and seemed to have stopped his fear. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and called the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First of all, you should make sure that he is dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone, and then he heard the hunter ask, "What should I do next?" Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them accidentally fell down and his eyes turned white, as if he had stopped breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency number. The operator said calmly, "The first step is to make sure that your friend is dead." So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask, "What's the second step?"

A talking clock

A talking clock

When a college student proudly showed off his new apartment to his friends, he led them into the study. "What are those big gongs and hammers for?" One of his friends asked. "That's a talking clock," the man replied. "What's the effect?"

"Watch," the man said, and then struck the gong deafening with a hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Stop knocking, you idiot! It's two in the morning! "

A student showed his friend around his new apartment and was very proud. "What's that big gong and hammer for?" One of his friends asked him. "That thing is amazing. This is a talking clock, "the student replied. "How does this clock work?" His friend asked. "Look, don't blink." The student stepped forward, picked up a gong and a hammer, and knocked deafening. Suddenly, they heard someone screaming on the other side next door, "Stop knocking, you idiot! It's two in the morning! "

secret of longevity

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on the porch.

"I can't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What is the secret of your happiness and longevity?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky a week, eat high-fat food and never exercise."

"Wow, that's amazing," said the woman. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-six."

The secret of longevity

A lady walked up to the little old man rocking in a chair on the porch.

"I was surprised to find out how happy you are," said the lady. "What is the secret of your happiness and longevity?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky a week, eat high-fat food and never exercise."

"Oh, it's amazing," said the lady. "Are you old?"