Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who told me all the contents of Junior Commando 2? It's urgent ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Who told me all the contents of Junior Commando 2? It's urgent ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I thought I could stop having nightmares. I passed nine weeks of "hell" training and completed "Operation Zero" with excellent "unexpected" results. Compared with other teams, our team D is excellent, and I should be better.
But in the mouth of the two new instructors, I am still not a zero egg, and my partner is still a zero egg. Not only that, I saw another meaning in the eyes of two new instructors. I'm really not even a zero egg, and I can't even do it.
This is the source of my nightmare and the fact that I can't stand it. Why is my friend still "zero egg"? And why should I be worse than "zero egg" or even unable to make "zero egg"? I don't understand the meaning of the words "unity, responsibility and never give up"?
Yes, I am only 15 years old, but like other students, I studied in a junior military school for three years. Will I understand the meaning of those eight words?
In the eyes of two new instructors, my companions and I really don't understand the true meaning of these eight words, and we don't know how to really use and do it. Moreover, the "zero action" that my companions and I worked hard for is worthless to the instructor, which is a fruitless fact. So, I am determined to carry on this nightmare until the instructor says, OK! Classmate 007, you have done these eight words, and you are a "zero egg". I hope to carry it forward from scratch!
Wait! You demons in hell, wait and let the suffering of training come more violently!
This is my diary after being confined for three weeks. I remember this diary through gnashing my teeth. My curse on the new coach began three weeks before I was detained. ...
This is the first day of two new instructors. They should have called 654.38+10,000 times before being detained for three weeks. These two new instructors are both soldiers and crabs, and one is Zhang. I don't want to say this guy's stupid name with my steamed bread mouth. My favorite assistant instructor calls him instructor Zhang. A surname is Sun, and I don't want to tell him the funny name given by his grandfather or his father. I prefer to hear the assistant coach call him Assistant Sun.
Instructor Zhang and instructor Sun also have code names, and we students call them code names later. Because we call these two instructors code names, we students can have a sense of psychological balance, just as we students are all called code names internally.
Zhang's instructor code name is Cong, and Sun's assistant instructor code name is Owl. They are all famous veteran special forces.
On that day, our boys and girls lined up in two teams to welcome bushes and owls.
At that time, the captain visited us one by one from Hu Lin and the captain owl.
The captain shouted from Hu Lin, "Do you understand that you are a zero egg?"
We replied, "I understand! Instructor! "
The captain shouted from Hulin again, "Do you understand that you only have numbers, no names and no codes?"
We replied, "I understand! Instructor! "
The captain said from Hu Lin, "But I don't understand. I have heard several famous code names among you. Now let's play a game. I'll tell whoever I call to go out, okay? Brave little' zero egg'? "
I watched the captain's smiling face from Hu Lin. His teeth are neat and white, few of them, as if he had never seen a fist. But it doesn't matter. The important thing is that I can't guess what the captain will do from Hulin.
I followed everyone and shouted, "Yes! Instructor! "
When answering the instructor's question, you can't answer other sentences, you can only answer "Yes! Instructor! " And "understand! Instructor! " If we answer other sentences or ask the instructor other sentences, we will be punished.
The captain learned from Hu Lin, "All right! I think you also want to know who those famous code names stand for. Listen, the first one, the baby eagle. Second, the girl cow. Third, the ghost fart. Fourth, ghost hands. Please go out. "
Young cow, ghost fart, ghost hand, the three of them seem to have nothing to think about, so they stand up straight, take a positive step forward and shout at attention: "Yes! Instructor! "
In the test of "Operation Zero", the little eagle defeated the captain owl who was captured by me. At this time, she saw that the "enemy" was a little scared and worried, and hesitated and did not go out. At this time, Kitty Hawk saw the captain and looked at him from Hu Lin. He stepped forward and shouted, "Yes! Instructor! "
Standing in the line, I saw assistant coach Captain Xu Hu frowning, while Captain Owl raised his left eyebrow and a smile appeared in the corner of his eye.
I think it's over. My companion was cheated.
Things didn't stop there, nor did they end with shouting four "famous" codes.
The captain said, "I just said that there are several famous code names in your little egg, so there are only four: girl cow, ghost hand, ghost fart and little eagle." I think you know it's not. "
The captain always glances at me intentionally or unintentionally when he speaks from Hu Lin. I stand up straight, I dare not breathe too much, because Captain Cong Hu Lin was stabbed by me as an enemy in Operation Zero. Captain from Hu Lin and Captain Owl suddenly came to the training base and became an instructor, which was a great blow to me. I don't know. The nine little red flags I just got with team D are enough to tear for a few days. In other words, how many days can I live under these two "enemies"? So I must guard against them carefully and face every training seriously.
The captain paused from Hu Lin and said, "So, who is the more famous code name among you? You all want to know? "
We all replied, "Yes! Instructor! "
The captain learned from Hu Lin, "Well, then, let me help you. Please drive the top-notch shadow fish out of the queue! " "
I was surprised and called me, but I didn't leave the queue and didn't answer. Answering or leaving the team is a trick.
Because it is stipulated that in the training base, each of our students has no name and no code name. We only have the number, and we can only answer if we call the number, otherwise it will be a foul and we will be punished. So, although Captain Cong Hu Lin and Captain Owl stared at me, I still stood upright. I can't answer, because my number is 007, and I will only be called if I call 007. My insistence was beyond the expectation of the two lieutenant instructors.
The captain learned from Hu Lin, "Why? Are famous shadow fish afraid to step out? In the "Zero Action" test, the Xiao Pi egg of the shadow fish is not like this. He gave me and my comrades in the special forces a lot of hardships. He dare not let us see his little broken face? I once again invite the famous shadow fish to come out! "
I don't think I can queue up. I can't get into the trap set by the captain from Hu Lin. I held my head high and opened my eyes wide. I can't be sent off.
My appearance suddenly made Kitty Hawk, Cowgirl, Ghost Hand and Ghost Fart feel that maybe they had miscalculated, and all four of them were white. They, the four fools who only think about good things, finally understand that they have violated the rules set by the captain's main instructor and finally understand that they have been fooled by the two lieutenant instructors.
The captain said from Hu Lin, "Shadow Fish can hold on, it's okay! I'll see how long he can hold on. Then I'll give Shadow Fish time to think about it. I'll call some heroines' code names and let them come out. "
The captain suddenly became gloomy from Hu Lin's face. He shouted: "Barbie, Haha Rabbit, Octopus Fox, Blue Butterfly and Green Snake!"
I don't know what the fox with eight claws thinks. The eight-claw fox jumped out of the queue from the formation of female students and stood at attention and shouted, "Yes! Instructor! "
Haha rabbit, blue butterfly and green snake also seem to be influenced by the eight-claw fox, and they also shouted "Yes! Instructor! " It's not listed either.
But Barbie, like me, stands straight and looks straight.
The captain stared at Barbie from Hu Lin, staring at my twisted face. He said, "All right! Give two extraordinary characters, Shadow Fish and Barbie, another 30 seconds. These two numbers will be automatically eliminated if they don't get out of the queue. Now please ask Assistant Sun to start punctuality! "
My heart is pounding again, but I think this is another trap set by the two lieutenant instructors. They killed the shadow fish and Barbie, but they couldn't kill me with the number 007 and Barbie with the number 024, because there is nothing wrong with me with the number 007 and Barbie with the number 024 being called code names. Being called a code name is wrong and also a foul. I think, if I persist for another 30 seconds, my idol Barbie will definitely persist.
Sun's assistant coach Owl is shouting: "30, 29, 28, 27 ..."
The sound of counting off seems to be beating my heart, but I must persist.
The captain owl cried, "Nine, eight, seven, six, five ..."
Barbie finally couldn't hold back. She came out and shouted, "Yes! Instructor! "
Barbie is also listed, and I sigh for Barbie in my heart. The captain never obviously felt refreshed. The confident expression he looked at me made me unable to hold it.
The captain owl shouted even louder: "4, 3, 2, 1."
Several classmates around me turned to look at me involuntarily. I knew I was pale and bloodless, but I straightened my chest. Several female comrades in the same team who once stood out, each of them looked at me with very sorry eyes, and they actually believed that I would be eliminated if I didn't stand out.
Ghost hand, ghost fart and girl cow, my three comrades-in-arms, all whispered nervously to me. I insisted on not looking at my comrades-in-arms, and I waited for the result.
The captain suddenly laughed from Hu Lin and suddenly asked loudly, "Shadow Fish, why don't you come out?" Not afraid of elimination? "
This is the answer that all the students want to know, but it is another trap that the captain played on me from Hu Lin. Ghost fart, ghost hand also asked me to answer with my lips. Niu Niu simply held her head high, and he couldn't bear to look at me. But they were wrong. If I answer now, I will foul, and I will really make a mistake. Because the captain asked from Hulin why Shadow Fish didn't dequeue, not why 007 didn't dequeue, I still couldn't answer.
Very quiet. Captain Cong Hu Lin and Captain Xiao looked at each other. The captain said from Hu Lin, "Student 007, are you a shadow fish?"
I stood at attention and replied, "Yes! Instructor! "
The captain asked again from Hulin, "So, 007, why don't you come forward?"
I replied, "Report to the instructor! There are only students numbered 007 in the training base, and there are no students named Shadow Fish. Answer over! Please indicate! "
The captain said from Hu Lin, "At ease!"
The captain shouted from Hulin: "Cadet 002, Cadet 10 1, Cadet 244, Cadet 004, Cadet 024, Cadet 16, Cadet 108.
Girl cow, ghost hand, ghost fart, baby eagle, Barbie doll, eight-claw fox, haha rabbit, blue butterfly and green snake are the "famous" codes of this string. They stood at attention and shouted, "Yes! Instructor! "
The captain smiled from Hu Lin and said, "Do you know where you are wrong? Student 007 taught you a lesson. Your standards for making this mistake are very high, especially for 024 students. Why not stick to it? Congratulations, you forgot to call only your number. My punishment standard is that everyone tears off two small red flags. "
Ghost fart, eight-claw fox, blue butterfly and so on have all changed their faces and become red. Barbie, in particular, failed to hold on, and now she bit her lip and was about to cry.
Cong Hulin said, "002, 10 1, 244,004,024, 1 15,16,020,/kloc-0. Three laps and four minutes. Start! "
Girl cow, ghost hand, ghost fart, baby eagle, Barbie doll, eight-claw fox, haha rabbit, blue butterfly and green snake lined up and started running. In front of their left and right corners 100 meters, it was a quagmire, of course, for training. The sticky mud in it is 60 cm deep. They ran in a string and splashed when they ran. After three laps, they were all clay figurines. Then, they lined up and asked for instructions.
The captain said from Hu Lin, "Very good! Good kung fu, no one fell. Enter the column! "
The captain said from Hu Lin, "Today we know each other. We will be together for a long time, until Assistant Sun and I throw you out one by one, or you throw you out. Remember, the rules of the master instructor will not change. However, I must add my rules to my training. In addition, the assistant instructor and I will pay special attention to those' celebrities' among you. A "zero action" makes one of you and a team proud. It doesn't matter. I will tell these proud Xiao Pi eggs, let them show their true colors in another exercise test in a few weeks, and then throw them out of the training base one by one. Student 007! "
I stood at attention and shouted, "Yes! Instructor! "
The captain said from Hu Lin, "Did you hear what I said clearly?"
I replied, "Yes! Instructor! Got it! Instructor! "
The captain said from Hu Lin, "Good! Continue training! "
I watched the captain from Hu Lin, and I knew I couldn't do it, and there were no nightmares in the following days. Captain told me from Hu Lin's eyes, Xiao Pi egg, you are not even a "zero egg", let alone a "zero egg" with me. You escaped this time, and there will be another time.
And my eyes say, then let's try, I'm not afraid of you!
In the process of continuing training, Habao, the leader of Group C with the number 005, who used to be my fifth roommate, quietly leaned over to talk to me for no reason.
It turned out that our main instructor, Captain Wang Jun, had a greater responsibility and became a major. Moreover, during our "Zero Action", new students entered the training base. The source of these new students, like us, are students from junior military schools. Among them, nearly 300 people formed Team D. In the initial 48-hour endurance test, only 80 of the 300 people were divided into 6 teams. Training with our old C team at this training base. But I don't know much about our group C. No instructor has deliberately said C team before. Because nine weeks ago, we were the only team here. Judging from the name of Team C, there should be Team A and Team B before Team C, but I don't know where these two teams are.
Habao said: "From the initial establishment of nearly 300 people in our team C to now, only 24 people from our team A to F6 have passed the initial 48-hour endurance test and the subsequent 6-week intensive test. Barbie's team J and yellowbird's team K are the predecessors of team A and team B formed before our team C. There are nearly 400 people in their two teams, only six weeks earlier than our C team, leaving only more than 20 people. There are 12 female students, such as eight-claw fox, haha rabbit and sparrow, who are specially approved female students. They are different from us. "
"Do you know?" Habao looked at me and said, "In 10 week, 90% of the people were eliminated. Now Team C is the rest of the three teams of ABC3, and there are only 72 women participating in the training. Think about it. "
I think we should be fine. But I don't understand. Harper leaned over quietly and told me what these were for.
Harper added: "So being eliminated now is not a failure. At least you made it to 10 week, which is better than most people. "
My heart was shocked. It turns out that Harper told me this in the hope that I would be eliminated immediately.
I said, "Will it? Do you think I can't pass the last level and will be eliminated? "
Harper said, "If I were you, I would quit automatically. No matter how well you do in the' zero action' test, it's useless. What can you do about personal project testing and the organizational ability of team members? " You should have self-knowledge and eliminate yourself! Why do you have to fight until the end to make people look at jokes? I knew you weren't a commando. "
I asked, "According to you, a person with developed limbs and retarded mind like you may become a juvenile special force?"
It was after I saw Harper's sinister intentions that I responded with such mean words. Habao's words let me down. I also want to stimulate Habao with the fact that Habao was captured by the captain owl in Operation Zero, but I don't need it now.
Harpo said, "All right! Shadow fish, we are not friends anymore. I wanted my father to help you get into the Army NCO School after you were eliminated, but I won't help you, I will beat you. Tell the truth! During the zero-point operation, you, ghost fart, ghost hand and girl cow gave me too much humiliation, and I want to get it back with my fist. "
I smiled and said, "Good! I agree that you should take it out on me first, but hurry up. If you find me late, I will be eliminated. "
Harpo said, "Good! I was the first to find you. "
I said, "Of course!"
Harper said, "Of course!"
Just when Harper and I were jealous, the black-haired military dog of the major's main instructor wandered over for some reason. When he saw me whispering to Harper, he barked at me and Harper.
I didn't take it seriously because I didn't stop training.
Harper was obviously nervous because it was Harper who leaned over to me. Captain Owl strode over with a whip in his hand and shouted, "Student 007, student 005 penalty 100 push-ups."
We can't refute it. If we argue the counter argument, we will suffer more. Harper and I immediately replied, "I understand! Instructor! "
At that time, our male classmates were practicing squatting and jumping with guns. When the whole day's training program is completed, they can step aside and do 100 push-ups with additional punishment.
Habao said, "Shadow Fish, you are a jinx. It will be bad luck to wear it on you. "
I was angry, too. I said, "You deserve it! Who told you to post it to punish! Let me be punished, retarded pig! You asked for it! This! "
Habao turned blue with anger and said, "I'll hit you after I finish the push-ups."
I said, "All right! Even if I am thrown out with you, I will accept your beating me. "
This matter was settled in this way.
Soon, our training programs today were completed one by one. After instructor Captain Cong Hu Lin was at ease and dismissed, everyone went to the canteen for dinner except Harper and me. This time is also very abnormal. The little eagle in my dormitory didn't go quietly to comfort me. The baby eagle hurried to wash his mud.
Ghost fart made a refueling gesture to me, and he left. The ghost hand and the maiden cow also ran away in a hurry, for the same purpose as the little eagle.
Since the end of "Operation Zero", no matter what team D is, it has been disrupted, and 72 male and female students have been automatically assigned to the dormitory again.
The ghost fart was assigned to the dormitory of the knife-eyed wolf with the leader number 3 1 1. At present, Ghost Fart is competing with Knife Eye Wolf for the boss of the dormitory, because now it is automatically grouped with the dormitory, and among our students, the dormitory is generally named after the boss's code.
For example, in our dormitory, I am the boss, because I have never left that dormitory. Besides, I have a little flying eagle to help me. I am the boss, and our dormitory is called "Fish House" among our classmates.
The name of Barbie's dormitory is a bit humorous, called "Dollhouse". The exception of the dormitory of the eight-claw fox is not the "fox house", but the "fox house". The dormitory of Yellowbird is also very different, called "Bailingtang" and Habao's dormitory is called "Leopard Camp".
If the ghost fart wins the knife-eye wolf, the knife-eye wolf's dormitory will be renamed as "haunted house" from "Wolf's den". However, the ghost fart has not won yet, and the dormitory of the knife-eyed wolf is also known as the "wolf's den".
Ghost hand and girl cow were separated and shared a dormitory with several other teams. Ghost hand and girl cow join hands to be the boss, and their dormitory is called "cow ghost shed"
They all left one by one. Harper and I just did 10 push-ups, and the training of the eight-claw fox girl is over. The eight-claw fox and the haha rabbit came together.
The eight-claw fox said, "007, what are you pretending to be?"
I paused, then stopped and asked, "What did you say?"
The eight-claw fox said, "why do you punish us?" How shameful my mud is. What do you say? "
Being punished by Harper, being pestered by Harper, I am bored to death. The unreasonable behavior of the eight-claw fox makes me angry. I blurted out, "Who told you to like being a celebrity so much?" Do you think the eight-claw fox is so famous? Just an unlucky smelly fox. You deserve to be called out by the instructor and run out to find punishment yourself! You idiot! Who told you to forget that you are self-righteous 1 15! You asked for it! You deserve it! "
The eight-claw fox was cold. Obviously, I didn't expect to say this. The eight-claw fox gnashed his teeth and said, "007, I hate you to death." I've always had bad luck since I was on your team. You should! You bad boy! "
I didn't know that the hand of the eight-claw fox was behind my back, because I was lying face to face. When I turned around, I could only see a pair of muddy assault boots of the eight-claw fox. The fox with eight claws folded his hands and raised two handfuls of mud on my head. By the time I jumped up, the fox with eight claws had turned and left.
Haha, the rabbit made a face at me and turned to chase the eight-claw fox away. In the distance, Barbie and Blue Butterfly are looking askew and laughing.
I suppressed my anger and did another push-up. It seems that Hubao survived and laughed himself to the ground.
I thought, great! You won't laugh after a while. I promise to beat you up. In this way, I feel angry. I was so tired that I suddenly gained strength after a day of training and quickly did 70 push-ups.
Hubao may understand, so do it quickly. This guy's physical strength is good, he's going to be 89 soon, and I'm already out of breath, but I'm too tired to get up. I gasped on the ground, hoping to catch my breath, and got up and beat Harper.
Hubao was exhausted, too. He lay on the ground to catch his breath. We all have a fighting heart, who will regain some strength and get up first, so we try to catch our breath and get up before our opponents.
After half an hour, Habao gets up first, and then I get up. Hubao went to a quiet place and put his hand on me to keep up. I followed, but I didn't expect Harper to cheat. I was walking with him when Harper suddenly turned around and punched me on the forehead. It was so heavy that it almost knocked me down.
In a flash, Harper's second punch hit me on the nose, and it remained silent. I defended the punch, and I fought back. I used the first trick of my grandfather's "pestering people", which is the second trick since I entered the training base. The first time I used it was to hit a cow.
This trick is called "serial dog peeing", which means kicking with your feet. This is simple, but very practical. I quickly leaned sideways, hunched my back to avoid Harper's second punch, and at the same time, my right foot took advantage of the opportunity to punch and kicked Harper's left rib, then I took back my right foot, twisted my waist and threw up my left leg. This kick kicked Harper's tilted neck, and Harper fell over. And I fell down because I was too tired and bounced.
I kicked Harper's foot with all my strength, and Harper was hunched over on the ground, out of breath.
I said, "I see. Don't think that you have practiced karate for a few days and know some taekwondo. What kind of juvenile fighting champion is invincible in the world. My family's' entanglement' can hit you countless times. "
Having said that, I want to go. I want to eat. If I go late, there will be only vegetable soup left. However, the black-haired military dog of the main instructor major appeared in time and barked at me.
I hurried to salute the black-haired military dog, because in the training base, everything, including the black-haired military dog, is higher than our students. If I don't salute the black-haired military dog, I will be fined to tear off 1 small red flag, and the remaining 9 small red flags will be torn off, and I will be eliminated.
Habao naturally understood this truth and reluctantly got up and saluted the black-haired military dog.
But it was late, and the captain owl came up with a smile and said, "Good! 007 students and 005 students are both good at kung fu! I admire my physical strength and energy, so I can stand at attention for two hours before I can rest. "
Harper and I replied, "I understand! Instructor! "
Harper and I both know that tonight's dinner is soup. And the routine at 5: 00 am tomorrow 15km cross-country can you make it?
At that moment, Harper regretted bothering me. Harper's expression told me that he really regretted it.
I think this time is really over, why can't I endure it again? It is unwise to ignore Habao, a jealous stupid pig.
Captain Owl added, "Everyone will be punished for tearing the 1 red flag."
This is really worse. I hate eating Harper.
Captain, the owl said, "Hey! Now two Xiao Pi eggs may think of' unity, responsibility and never give up'? I hope you can run 1 5km cross-country tomorrow morning, and don't throw1little red flag. "
Captain Owl winked at me with his left eye, smiled mischievously and walked away. I feel sick, my chin is all curly and I pretend to be naive. What a pity! It's hard for his mother.
The black-haired military dog called me again, stared at me for a while, turned around and left.
Hubao and I stand at attention, and I'm not in the mood to see if Hubao is comfortable at this time. Habao naturally doesn't look at me and doesn't care if I'm comfortable.
Standing for two hours, my neck muscles cramped, and time passed by.
Habao staggered away first.
I bent down for three minutes before dragging my stiff legs back to the dormitory.
The baby eagle heard my voice, looked up and saw me coming back, and then watched me throw myself on the bed. The baby eagle got up from the bed and stuffed two crushed steamed buns with a large piece of braised pork inside. He yawned again, patted my ass and went back to bed to sleep.
At that moment, I cried quietly on the quilt.
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