Who can tell jokes?

If it is the best answer, please tell me which one you like. I hope you are happy. In retaliation for this, a 5-year-old went to a five-star hotel, and his manager said, "Find me a lady." The manager said, "We are a five-star hotel with no ladies." So the child threw out 5000 yuan and said, "Is there a lady?" The manager said, "Yes." The child said, "I want to be sick." The manager said, "Our five-star is not sick." The child threw out 5000 yuan and said, "Find me a sick one." The manager said, "Some of them are sick." The child asked the manager, "I slept with a sick lady." Am I sick, too? " The manager is afraid to speak. The child threw out 5000 and said, "am I sick, too?" The manager said, "that didn't run." I definitely did it. " The child said, "Then I did it with our nanny. Is our nanny also sick? " The manager said, "It didn't run. I definitely did it. " The child said, "Then our nanny had sex with my father. Is my father sick too? " The manager said, "It didn't run. I definitely did it. " The child said, "Then my father and mother did it, so is my mother sick?" The manager said, "It didn't run. I definitely did it. " The child said, "Then my mother fucked our driver. Is the driver sick? " The manager said, "It didn't run. I definitely did it. " The child thought about it, patted the table and said, "Hum! Smelly driver, I let you crush my little frog. " There was a man in Diao brand washing powder, and his girlfriend was looking at someone else, so he wanted to kill his girlfriend and then commit suicide. . . One night, he finally killed his girlfriend. When he committed suicide, he said, "How did you die, jumping off a building? Too ugly. " It's too difficult to take medicine and hang yourself. It's boring not to die. "In this way, he survived, but he was always uneasy. So, he went to ask a Taoist priest, and the Taoist priest said to him, "That female ghost is haunting you. You have only one way to live, and that is to wash off the bloody clothes, but you can't delay it for too long. If it is past 12 in the morning, your life will be in danger. "The man did as the Taoist priest said, but the blood on the bloodstained garment could not be washed clean. After 12 in the morning, the female ghost came to kill the man. Before killing the man again, the female ghost asked the man, "Do you know why the bloody clothes are not clean?" "Why?" The man asked. The female ghost replied: "Because you are useless, Diaoka washing powder! "A rose woman gave birth to twins, one called nipple and the other called watermelon. One day, the nipple was lost and the American woman ran to the police station. " Officer, officer, I dropped my nipple. The policeman asked, "How big are your nipples?" An American woman said, "My nipples are as big as watermelons. "Magic Side Effects At a medical seminar, a physician announced that he had invented a magical new drug. Another doctor asked, "What disease is it used for?" "We have no diseases that can be cured with drugs." Another doctor asked, "where is its magic?" The doctor was silent for a while and said, "Its side effects will make patients lose their short-term memory, so several patients have paid my medical bills three or four times. "All the doctors attending the seminar stood up and applauded warmly. 1 A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to give a report: "Rabbit, shrimp, pig tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! "Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles! "Now, please speak to the steward! The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" " "Comrades, that's enough for today. Let's make a big bowl! ) "No pickles, I'll lick a lump of shit for you. . . "Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. . . A patient who had an operation for the first time anxiously said to the doctor, "I'm afraid. This is my first operation. " The doctor said that I was even more scared: "This is also my first operation." (3) Once upon a time, a man named A Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, A Shuang's family cried his name in tears: A Shuang ... A Shuang ... A Shuang. Passing by here, passers-by wondered: What are you happy about when everyone is dead? Hearing this question, A Shuang's family lost their voice and became more painful: Shuang, ... Cool, Cool, Cool, Cool, Dead ... Cool, Dead. Xiao Ming saw a lump of poop on the ground and went up to smell it. He put a little finger in his mouth and tasted it, as if it were still poop. He said happily, "It's a good thing I didn't step on it." 5] The centipede was bitten by a snake and sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. After the doctor diagnosed, he said: In order to prevent the spread of virus liquid, it must be amputated! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs! The doctor consoled: relax, brother, you will be an earthworm in the future. [6] Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their buttons behind them to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. When the police arrived ... Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing ... 7. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University! ⑻ A woman took the train, her period came, and there was no place to return the sanitary napkins ... In desperation, she opened the window and went out! Just hit a farmer's face, and the farmer touched his face and said after reading it. I use a fork. .. the train is fast. If I get another piece of paper, I'll be covered in blood! ! ! ! Hua Mulan joined the army. . . One day during the war, my period came, and I was about to change sanitary napkins when suddenly a shell came. She passed out. . . . When she woke up, she was already on the operating table. . . . The doctor said. Are you okay? ! ! ! "Mulan said," what's the matter? I'm fine. ".。 . "It's nothing. . Is it okay if the penis is blown away? ! ！” The doctor said, "but it's all right now!" " Mulan said, "What's wrong? "..." I'll sew it on for you! ! ~ "said the doctor. ⑽ A monk said to a patroness, "Donor, you have a bad omen (bra). "The patroness was anxious:" Master, how can I get rid of the bad omen (bra)? " The monk said, "Even if you take off the bad omen (bra), you can't escape the two people. In an Internet cafe, a 12-year-old child was playing World of Warcraft and suddenly shouted. We were all surprised and thought, does anyone in Warcraft know dad? Just then, a middle-aged man's voice came from the other end of the Internet cafe: "Son, where is it? I'll do it! ! "Everyone in the Internet cafe is dizzy. A few minutes later, the middle-aged man shouted, "son, we can't beat them." They are well equipped. Run! " "Everyone is crazy about ft. After a while, a middle-aged woman entered the Internet cafe, looked around, and then went straight to the boy, grabbing the boy's ear and scolding him: "Didn't you go to the teacher's house to make up lessons?" " ?" The boy covered his ears with one hand and pointed to the other side of the internet cafe with the other, shouting, "Where's Dad!" " "His mother looked surprised, and sure enough! Immediately asked: "Didn't you go to work overtime? "Everyone in the Internet cafe fainted N times! His father argued: Double the experience today. His mother was overjoyed and furious, and said, it's a good thing I asked for leave to come and see, otherwise your father and son would be two grades ahead of me at night, and you wouldn't send me a message if you had twice the experience. You will know when you go back at night! Who's that? Oh, son, don't be afraid. Mom's here. Mom will play tuba to support you. Mom doesn't believe that our mother and son can't die! All the onlookers lamented: What can I do if I have a wife? If you have a mother, what can you ask? Admire! I really admire it!