Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - (10) Wife's flowered skirt
(10) Wife's flowered skirt
Asked me to go shopping with her. She said that no man had ever bought clothes with her, and no man had ever sent her clothes. She asked me to be the first man to buy clothes with her. Although I don't like wandering in the street, I have never crossed the street with my wife. Even my own clothes are mostly bought directly by my wife. But when it comes to shopping, I immediately agreed without hesitation and took all my poor "possessions". I am eager to buy something for her to express my feelings and apologies.
All the shops I have been to are high-end brand-name shops. Gorgeous decoration, bright lights in broad daylight, eye-hurting. I feel sick all over, and my heart is pounding when I walk into such a shop. I tried to restrain myself, let my steps be slow and dignified, and I was afraid that too many actions would overflow my timidity in my bones. I pretended to be indifferent and poised to cover up my panic.
In a luxury storefront with English signs, I wandered absently, and her little hand fiddled with the hanging clothes. She picked out a floral skirt, gestured on her body and asked me if it looked good. Looking intently, I saw a green floral skirt as thin as a cicada in my hand, exactly the same as my wife's.
Without waiting for my answer, accompanied by the waiter, I swaggered downstairs to the fitting room.
I glanced at the price of the skirt with mixed feelings. I almost bit my tongue in surprise. You know, when I saw my wife's skirt, I said it was very soft and beautiful, and my wife was very happy. I said it was worth spending 100. Of course, my wife certainly didn't buy it in such a store, but as a layman like me, these two skirts are no different. Although I have enough money with me and I am determined to buy what I like without hesitation, this skirt still makes me feel uneasy and hesitant. Almost the same skirt, just because it is from a luxury store, is marked with such a sky-high price, which is simply too cheat people. I thought angrily, thinking quickly about how to convince you.
I came out in a flowered skirt. The shopping guide shouted exaggeratedly, saying that it was too beautiful and temperament.
I am young, energetic, fashionable and beautiful. But this skirt doesn't suit her. On the contrary, a thin and gentle woman like her wife can better show the femininity and elegance of this skirt.
I pulled up my skirt, cocked my head in front of the mirror twice, and then pouted and walked back to the fitting room.
Didn't look at me at all, and didn't ask my advice. It seems that she is not satisfied either, and she is not going to buy this deceptive skirt, which saves me a lot of elaborate rhetoric.
When I got home, I told my wife about it as a joke, saying that someone at work bought a dress exactly like her and spent thousands of dollars. I sneered: "What a fool! There is still 250 yuan. "
The wife said loudly with exaggeration, "Impossible. There is such a thing. " Her tone of action is a bit grandiose, and I think there is a strange expression in her look, as if she were in a panic. And I was immersed in the skirt joke without thinking deeply.
? I said that it was her birthday and asked me to send her a bottle of perfume, and I readily agreed.
I found a perfume named "Issey Miyake" in my designated luxury store. It is said that it sells the most upscale cosmetics in this city, and the price is 1988 yuan. What confuses my mind is telling my wife that as long as the bottles for 80 yuan are exactly the same, the bottles and cans on my wife's dressing table can be found here, all marked with sky-high prices that neither she nor I can afford.
I suddenly remembered Mo Bosang's novel Jewellery. Think about the virtuous Mrs. Langdan in the article. She is beautiful, capable, gentle and considerate. Her only weakness is her love of collecting fake jewels. However, after she died of an accidental cold, the originally rich life of the two made Lang Dan unable to make ends meet. Langdan had no choice but to sell those fake jewels because they looked very realistic and beautiful. As a result, all the jewels are expensive and expensive, and they are gifts given to their wives by others.
I just sat in that shop, watching the crowds coming and going, and lost my mind. I fully understand Rhondan's feelings, as if I were Rhondan.
From McDonald's to skirts to perfumes, it is no accident. All kinds of clues lead to a secret environment that I dare not touch. Deception, conspiracy, betrayal cover the sky.
I came home and opened my wife's closet. The clothes inside are colorful and dazzling. I used to think it was just some ordinary things, but from the perspective of accompanying you to visit high-end stores these times, I realized that these simple and low-key clothes are really low-key luxury high-end goods. I want to check the price of these clothes online, but after a closer look, the labels on each dress have been carefully removed by my wife, including the hidden washing labels. Thought of here, I was so scared that fine sweat broke out on my forehead. My wife seems to be open-minded, with no talent, and her mind is deep. She has made preparations in advance. I used to see my wife tear, cut and sew every time she bought clothes. I naively thought she was DIY clothes, but it turned out that she just cut the label and the thread was just for show.
I searched everything on my wife's dresser on the Internet. Those skin care products are top brands in the world, and the things filled with dressing tables far exceed my annual salary. I picked up some of my wife's ornaments and took them to the jewelry city for inspection. In the past, necklaces, bracelets and rings, which I thought were just simple decorations, were all jadeite, nanhong, turquoise, beeswax and jadeite, and they were all fine products, which were dozens of times more expensive than those seemingly expensive gold ornaments. I declined the sky-high purchase request of the jewelry city and wandered aimlessly in the street.
What happened here hit me like a huge wave, which made me dizzy and drowned by this little sand. I was stunned by the ironclad conclusion that the wife I trusted so much had so many skeletons in her closet.
I don't know who to talk to, and my mouth is too bitter to open.
I want to ask my wife. For so many years, so many lies, so many deceptions, she never showed any clues. What excuse is she waiting for me, what false cover-up, what bigger conspiracy is spying on me? I want to talk to you. Looking back now, I think I should have known all the stories of my wife. She thinks I must have been joking when I said my wife's good things in front of her. No wonder she pops up a sentence or two from time to time.
After a long hesitation, I finally went to a pub alone and got drunk.
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