Campus health jokes

2. My name is Liu Mingbei, and his name is Xuande. I am the son of Wang Jing in Zhongshan. I am poor because my family is poor. The most expensive thing about me is that I have noble blood. Unfortunately, my blood type is O, and every time I sell blood, it is very cheap. It really sucks.

3. Zhao Yun is rocking on a very long board (Zhao Yun saved a dou in Long Han Bo).

4. Rich people, not big brothers. ...

5. Zhang Fei: We are here for school. Can we remove eight Jin Suozhen doors so that we can go to school?

Dean: Who knows if you were sent by the Yellow Scarf College to rob the school?

Guan Yu: The yellow turban insurrectionary colleges and universities are becoming more and more arrogant now.

Zhang Fei: Yes, when you enter the school, you grab the teaching equipment, the registration fee and the nutritious lunch. Er, I heard that the male and female teachers in a school were taken off last time, and even the principal's underwear was taken away.

Guan Yu: Really?

Zhang Fei: Of course it's fake.

Guan Yu: Wow, you are a little annoyed.

6. Liu Bei: It doesn't matter if you like to fight, but you can't have stones in your head. Brain stones are idiots. There are so many of them, but there are only three of us. This is not a battle. This is called a siege.

7. Guan Yu: How can it not be a crisis? Now growth is the most critical.

Zhang Fei: Is it worse than going to the toilet without toilet paper?

Guan Yu: Of course.

8. Liu Bei: Sun Tzu's Art of War asked his son to pass it on to his daughter ... I went to the second-hand bookstore in Tieshikong and bought it 100 for your sister ~ (Liu Bei's heartfelt words hurt Cao Cao's words. )

9. Dong Zhuo: I'm possessed. I can't help it, but I'm simple. I just want to keep hurting people. Isn't that simple enough?

10. False breasts. Who knows if your admission notice is false?

Zhang Fei: My breasts are real!

Guan Yu: That's not the point!

1 1. Biao, my man is yours and my heart is Zhao Yun's, but now my soul has been stolen by Guan Yu. Biao, I'm sorry.

12. You try very hard to feed the chicken tea eggs, but the chicken won't lay tea eggs. .

13. Zhang Fei (with a naive face): Big Brother, I am a big stone in my chest, and so are you!

14. It's good to have someone to sleep with me. I heard that dogs have yin and yang eyes, and the result is true. I have been seeing Ah Piao, dangling in front of me, so scared! (Dong) According to

15. I have a question. Who wants to be called a pig? I am the great Dong Zhuoye, so you can't call me a pig. Especially after I lost weight, my face became so thin. (Dong) According to

16. I want to hypnotize myself, not beef, not beef, but cow shit! (or Dong)

17. Liu Bei: Third brother, you haven't practiced Bagua Boxing, but you have practiced Bagua Mouth.

18. Jiao Niang: Eh, playing dumb won't do much. Zhang Fei: Playing dumb won't make a big mistake.

19. "Yes, the goal was successful. I am really a dog with all my wishes! " (Dong) According to

20. Female veterinarian: "Oh, honey, it's okay. Just checking. Come, I'll give you a kiss. "

Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Huang Zhong and Ma Chao: "No!"

Female veterinarian: "What's the matter?"

Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Huang Zhong and Ma Chao: "Nothing."

Dog Dong Zhuo: "Kissing will kill people, really. Let me be happy. Don't! Come and kiss in French. "

2 1. Zhou Yu: I heard that President Cao's sneeze shook all corners of the country ~

Cao Cao: President Zhou yawned and set off a huge wave ~

22. Sun Shangxiang: This is my own external skill "Great Soldier's Gas Coagulation".

Zhang Fei: "Big ice cream"?

23. Zhang Fei: Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

24. Zhang Fei: Are you sure?

Liu Bei: Very sure.

25. Zhou Yu: I always think you will cheat our young lady.

Liu Bei: Don't use intuition indiscriminately. I have a hunch that you will cheat little Joe in our class.

26. Teacher: "Sorry, A Biao's family is busy worshipping their ancestors. One uncle, four husbands and seven brothers play cards, three aunts, six grandmothers and nine sisters cook, and two nephews, five nephews and eight grandsons burn incense. Excuse me, how many relatives have come to Abiao's house? Yes, please lift your feet. " ......

Teacher: "Your feet are cramping. You can't lift them. Haven't you said this question many times? Ok, Liu Bei, Liu Bei, you will, Liu Bei, Liu Bei? "

Liu Bei: "What did you ask just now?"

Teacher: "What did I ask just now? I asked, how many relatives have been to Abiao's house? "

Liu Bei: "I don't know how many relatives come to their family, but I just heard that there are eight Sun Shangxiang in their family."

27. Xiao Qiao said, "You are hopelessly clever, but you will never know me!"

28. Sun Shangxiang said, "Have you ever loved?"

Lv Meng and Zhou Yu (shy): "Miss, please don't seduce me."

29. Heroes of the Eastern Han Academy, since you are here, come in and meet! (Zhou Yu)

30. Mushroom-scented banana cigarette-scented soap, coriander-scented champagne, sesame oil-scented perfume, incense burner-scented vanilla sausage-scented Ji Xiang (Xiao Qiao)

3 1. My name is Liu Mingbei, and I am the son of Wang Jing in Zhongshan. Some people call me Beibei. Liu Xuande is me, and I am Liu Xuande. (Ha ha ha) But nobody calls me Ade (ha ha ha).

32. giggle, it's obviously wolves and tigers, and swallows ~

33. Xiao Qiao said to Liu Bei: You must chase girls until the last second, and you must wait until the girls say stop.

You can stop, or you have to pursue bravely, you know?

Cao Cao: I see!

Xiao Qiao: I'm not asking you.

34. Feng Chu gave Liu Bei three suggestions.

Zhang Fei: Here are three tips. Which one should I open first?

Everybody: What's the donkey's problem?

Zhang Fei: I just want to make sure first.

Feng Chu: Oh, you really don't want to come. Isn't there an order embroidered on the kit?

A, B, C (Liu Bei showed it to Zhang Fei one by one), of course, starting from C (everyone fell down)

35. Mrs. Abiao: Abiao, I feel sorry for you. My man is yours, my heart is Zhao Yun's and my soul is Guan Yu's. Now my spirit has been stolen by that Liu Bei. ~ ~ ~ Biao. ~

36. Liu Bei (Xiu): There is a kind of yearning. Without thinking about it, it will always appear.

The first string is loud (thinking); The second string is loud (thinking); It turns out that each string is very (lacking)

37. Liu Bei (Xiu): Stay. Or I'll go with you ... come here. Or you can come with me.

38. Zhang Fei: Even if time and space are destroyed, I want brave enough to love.

39. Zhang Fei: This meal was really rich, which made me eat a catty.

Liu Bei: ... you are surprised that "Jing" is used in this way! ~

40. Tiramisu said: Enjoyment full of sin will relax a lady's tight abdomen.

4 1. Marotta to Iliad, Liu Bei (Xiu) and Sun Shangxiang What are you watching? I didn't see how handsome it was!

42. Sun Shangxiang: Happiness is having a secret that only belongs to two people.

43. Cao Cao: Everyone has friends.

Liu Bei: Is it cholesterol?

Cao Cao: That's a waste of time.

44. A Xiang: From tomorrow, we will be classmates. Are you happy?

Liu Bei (Xiu): Not bad.

A Xiang: Ah ~ ~ Not bad!

Liu Bei (Xiu): The highest grade, not bad, plus est! (cute)

A Xiang: Actually, in my opinion, your music is not bad, and it is the highest level. Add est! (shy+blushing)

45. Hua Tuo: I am happy about the treatment that will change history.

Zhang Fei: If you don't get to the point, I'll let you change history!

46. Cao Cao: Hua Tuo, I really admire you more and more. I believe you will be a celebrity forever.

Liu Bei (Xiu): I promise he will! (Everyone looks at him together) Why? Can't predict the future! (guilty ~ ~)

47. Sun Shangxiang: Who will arrive first tomorrow or in the future?

48. Liu Bei (Xiu): It turns out that I will arrive first tomorrow, because I have no future with you. How can we get there first?

49. Liu Bei (Xiu): So, what is the only extraordinary opportunity for ordinary people? !

A Xiang: Ordinary people, the only extraordinary opportunity is (blushing+approaching ing) to talk about an extraordinary love! !

Liu Bei (Xiu) os: Alas, we are really destined for an extraordinary love! !

50. Zhang Fei: As the saying goes, today is not easy to try! Today's exam, you cheat today, if you don't do it today, it will be too late!

5 1. Cao Cao: You have read the Art of War of Sun Tzu! (Jing ING~) Sun Tzu's Art of War is the tactical treasure book of Cao Jiazu's first hard practice of internal skills and his narrow escape. Cao Jiazu taught his children not to pass it on to his daughter, and now it is locked in our new multi-security peptide metal vault. Brother Liu, although we are good friends, I still have to ask you carefully.

Liu Bei: Oh!

Cao Cao: How did you know about this plan?

Liu Bei: Well, it's written in the plan! ~

Cao Cao: ~ ~ ~ Ah, hahaha ~ ~ It's written on it, how could I forget it ~ ~

Liu Bei: Sun Tzu's Art of War asked his son to pass it on to his daughter ... I went to Tieshikong Old Bookstore and bought it 100 for your sister. )

52. Zhang Fei: I'm afraid Jiang Gan has disappeared.

Liu Bei: It's gone. It's very serious.

Guan Yu: Brother, of course it's serious.

Ma Chao: For people, flying without wings means death.

53. Zhang Fei: Big Brother, I don't care if you are real or fake, cooked, roasted, fried or smoked. You will always be my big brother ~ ~ ~

54. Liu Bei (Huyanjue Shura): I know that eldest brother is fake, but I am the eldest brother, but I am not fake (the voice of Feng Ming Temple).

55. Guan Yu: I've been wondering why Xiao Qiao called Yun and asked Yun to tell me the phone call that led us to the bait.

Huang Zhong: Yes, why?

Cao Cao: Because ...

Zhang Fei (interrupting): Yes, why, why? Why on earth?

Cao Cao (angry): I was just about to say it!

56. Guan Yu: Yun, you look pale.

Hua tuo: I agree, it's really bad, even worse than healthy stool (others solemnly nod)

57. Liu Bei (Huyanjue Shura): I think clouds are very unusual.

Guan Yu: Brother, I just don't think you are ordinary ... (comparing the movement of kamikaze) Ourabah! What is this?

Liu Bei (Huyanjue Shura) (cold sweat): Here we go again. I really don't want to lie any more (sincerely). Eh, this, this is for my third brother, and he will explain it to me.

Zhang Fei (surprised): I, I explained, oh, oh, hehe, big brother, it's swearing (repairing spray, the note shows: shrimp? ) Ulabaha, doesn't it sound dirty?

58. Teacher: Now roll call, Jiang Gan.

Student: Fuck!

59. Cao Cao: Love is like practicing martial arts. Only by finding the right martial arts cheats can we become peerless martial arts.

60. Dong Zhuo said: If you are angry, find someone to calm down. You two turn around (to Marotta and Mei Niang).

6 1. Dong Zhuo said: I, Dong Zhuo, the chairman of Dong Na.

62. Wang Yun: It's best to fall by everyone, and it's best to fall by yourself.

63. Wang Yun: Whoever leaves will leave a trail, and whoever lives will leave a neighbor.

Everyone who climbs will leave the stairs.

Guan Yu: Sister-in-law (to A Xiang) If you feel the shadow, don't be afraid, because there is sunshine behind you. However, our brothers are not afraid of shadows because we are the sunshine behind each other.

65. Zhang Fei: I am a cockroach that can't be killed (Zhang Lang).

66. Dong Zhuo: My good son! (pay attention to the tone)

67. Grandpa: Hello.

Hugh: Dong Zhuo!

Grandpa: Dong, you are old! Do you want Brother Bear's food or pizza?

……

(After Hugh turns away)

Grandpa: Who is he?

68. Grandpa: 17 years ago, the leader sent me to perform a task.

Hugh: What task?

Grandpa: You can't remember the secret. Only people with amnesia can remember.

A Xiang: Since your A Xiang is so smart, shouldn't you give her a little reward?

Oh, why does my device suddenly blush? I'm talking about rewards. Oh, do you want to kiss me again?

Hugh: No.

A Xiang: So you don't want to kiss me at all?

Hugh: Do you want to kiss me?

A Xiang: Hey, if someone wants a family, they should ask first. It's really not emotional.

70. A Xiang: Get ready. I don't care what will separate us. In this life, I will rely on you ... promise not to let me find it like my big brother, okay?

Hugh: I will never let you lose me. If you really don't come, I'll leave. Before I disappear, I will definitely call you siman. ...