Humorous sentences for the rest of my life (meaningful and funny sentences)

1. Don't sing about the rest of your life. Girls don't work hard to earn money, and they don't want to be beautiful. For the rest of their lives, it's you who cook, you who do laundry, you who do housework, you who are rejected, and you who look after the children.

second, lawyers want you to be sued, doctors want you to get sick, and mechanics want your car to break down. Only thieves and insurance companies are the kindest, and they always want you to be prosperous and safe.

third, what should I do if I don't want to wash clothes? Just take a daughter-in-law. If the daughter-in-law is virtuous, she will wash your clothes. If your daughter-in-law is tough, you will learn to wash clothes.

fourth, children are happy when they are sad and verbally coaxed, but we adults can't. We have to eat a good meal or buy something.

5. If you eat less than one meal every day, you can save a lot of money for a long time, and this money can be saved for treating stomach diseases in the future.

6. If you have money, you can be called a male god; if you have money, you can't be called a husband; if you have face, you can't be called a blue face; as for those who have no money, you are a good man ... Ah, what a painful realization!

seven, it is said that marriage is the grave of love, but if you don't have a house, you can't even get into the grave.

Eight, the three tragedies of the dinner party: the people who want to be invited didn't come, and the people who came had nothing to do with you, and only you were awake when checking out.

9. When you are thin and beautiful, with something in your head and all the money you earned in your wallet, let alone this month, the whole world will treat you better.

ten, I suddenly found that all my future plans have the same beginning: when I have money.

Xi. Why do people in China have to choose a good day to get married? Because there is no good life after marriage!

12. I am worth tens of millions, with countless luxury cars, private luxury restaurants and modern farms. I have nothing since I lost my qq number.

thirteen, you can't wake up a person who doesn't return your message, but a red envelope can.

fourteen, smart people are sweet-mouthed, annoying people can act, but you can't do anything, so you can only be cheated.

15. In the past, the mail of horses and chariots was very slow, and only one person could be loved in a lifetime. Now the network technology is developed, and 5 people can be green in one day.

XVI. Parents can never tell the difference between explaining and talking back. If you explain, you will talk back, and if you say another word, you will carry it.

XVII. Good people have to go through eighty-one difficult to become Buddhas, while bad people can become Buddhas just by putting down their butcher knives.

18. When you are young, don't despair because you have no money, because you have to know that there will be many days when you have no money.

XIX. God spread wisdom to the world, and I held an umbrella wisely.

my goal in life is to have my own house in Beijing when I am 3 years old. Now I have achieved half of my goal: I am thirty years old.

21st, I suggest you try to go to bed early, do more exercise, don't eat supper, don't smoke or drink, go to bed early and get up early to form a good habit. Over time, you won't have any friends.

I may not be able to lift a stone of 22 or 1 Jin, but if it is 1 Jin RMB, I promise to pick it up and run.

twenty-three, I used a sack of money to go to college and exchanged it for a sack of books; After graduation, I exchanged these books for money, but I couldn't afford a sack!

Twenty-four, spend the first half of my life wandering around, cooking soup in the second half, staying up late, applying eye cream, beer with wolfberry, cola with ginseng, drinking the strongest wine and taking the most expensive ambulance.