Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Which comic dialogue joke is awkward for the apprentice?
Which comic dialogue joke is awkward for the apprentice?
There are n versions here. I suggest you listen to Tian Lihe first, but Ma Ji's is not very good.
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It's too long to paste, see for yourself!
/wenxueyishu/ 10 1/4 1275 . htm
believer
Where is the performance here?
B, perform here.
A I heard that crosstalk performers are all learned?
B No, no, crosstalk performers haven't studied for a few days in the past. Most of them are oral and heartfelt, so they only learn to ask questions.
A said, you are much worse than me. Compared with me, you are only one tenth of "nine Niu Yi hairs".
B We have none left. So, you are learned?
A certainly. I know everything. I know everything There is nothing I don't know about ancient and modern China and foreign countries, a hundred schools of thought contend, literature and history, astrology.
B I think you don't know the same thing!
I don't know what?
B you don't know "poor"!
A compliment.
B is also awesome! What knowledge do you have from staring and boasting?
A My knowledge, even if I tell you, you don't understand it. Your education is too low, your knowledge is too little, your experience is too shallow and your level is too low. You didn't understand what I said, which not only delayed my precious time, but also embarrassed you in public. Talking about study with you is like casting pearls before swine.
B, that's insulting! Today, I want to take a good look at your knowledge.
A: If you really want to consult, you don't need me to teach you to study in person. My closed disciple gives you some advice!
Do you have an apprentice?
Nonsense. I think both Kong Qiu and Confucius have 3,000 disciples, not to mention me.
B me?
Do you know what I am?
I see.
What do you mean by me?
B is the one who was shot!
Jiayi, I am who I am.
Yes, you were shot!
A: How to speak?
Confucius in the second family had 3,000 disciples, the most outstanding of whom were 72 sages.
Confucius' disciples are all salty people, but my disciples are not so salty.
B what?
A just marinated for a few days.
Duck eggs!
A: I have a favorite apprentice. He is young and capable. I taught him all my knowledge.
What is your ability as an apprentice?
A I am an apprentice who knows astronomy from above, geography from below, and knows people from the middle. Knowing yin and yang, gossip, six tricks, armor, strategizing, winning thousands of miles away, and making up your mind to divide the world before going out of the cottage.
Is this your apprentice?
This is Zhuge Liang.
B Why did you mention Zhuge Liang?
A can't show my apprentice's ability without mentioning Zhuge Liang.
What can your apprentice do?
A: My apprentice is a cursory visitor, with a discerning eye for sheep. He asks questions and answers ten times and knows everything. He is really the spirit of all things, the hero of mankind!
B I don't think he is a hero of mankind!
He is-
B garlic in the vegetable market.
Aha, garlic!
Tell you what, if your apprentice is really capable, please bring him out so that I can meet him.
A: Oh, do you want to learn something from my apprentice and learn more?
B, you ask him out and I'll tell him.
A: All right. (Looking around) Hey, I just slapped you here!
B is not good at playing this game!
A (yelling at the curtain) Awkward! Awkward! ……
B wait a minute. Who are you looking for?
A is looking for my apprentice.
What is your apprentice's name? ...
A it's embarrassing.
B Oh, how embarrassing!
Embarrassed, embarrassed-
(On the side curtain, C replied, "Hey-",pulling a long note, stupidly lying on the ground, with a straight pen and a glassy-eyed bow forward, back, left and right)
What is your apprentice doing?
A: This is Master. I teach well and my disciples are polite.
B just now, that was ...
A made a western gift imported from abroad.
This is not a gift from the west!
You see, this is ...
The second calf worships everywhere.
A: This is your ignorance. When my apprentice is free at the moment, if you have any problems, please ask him at once. My apprentice Fan "Paiji" went later, and you can't find it anywhere.
B I have to hurry. (Look at C carefully) Can this be learned?
A man is not judged by his appearance. You look good. Why not export it to pandas?
B Hey, can I ask him?
Ask.
B I always watch this kid "Malden throw".
A has a lot of knowledge.
B (to himself) Let me ask some simple questions first. (To C) Student, are you there?
Here comes C.
B Hey, it's hard to say. It's alive.
A nonsense, die early and stink early.
Who did you come with?
C came with my master.
Listen, a loud voice.
B what are you doing here?
C said cross talk is coming.
A brief and to the point.
B how long will it last?
C will have three sessions.
An ambitious person is not old enough.
B (to himself) This time, I told him and asked him in Chinese.
(To C) Student, how old are you?
C has eaten.
A speaks quickly and simply.
b! Student, did I ask your age?
C eat Zhajiang Noodles.
A clean and tidy.
B (to A) I said, it's gone!
A what?
B missed it.
A Oh, missed it? Go to the real estate bureau!
The house is leaking?
What is missing?
B, I let your apprentice know.
A (shaking his head) No, no. ...
B (holding the nail head) Don't shake, don't shake!
A what?
Be careful not to break up, Huang Er.
A: I am an egg!
Don't be sour, your apprentice really asked me to ask you.
What did you ask?
B I asked him, "Are you coming?" .
What did he say?
B he said "coming".
A is still true. We were here when our father and son came. Can we just stare and lie like you!
B I asked him "with whom" and he said "with my master".
A's answer is right. He is an apprentice and I am a master. Of course, the one who came with me came with his master. Can you say that you came with his teacher's mother and you?
B-ho。 I asked him what he was doing, and he said "Crosstalk is coming" and he said "Crosstalk is coming".
A: We originally said that cross talk was coming. Who is like you?
What is wrong with me?
A guess is coming.
B me! I asked him "how long" and he said "three years".
A This is a child's modesty. Traditional jokes can say three paragraphs, not new ones. Who is like you? Don't brag if you have camels!
B I will ask him the last few words.
A it doesn't matter how many sentences you ask.
B I asked him, "How old are you?"
What did he say?
He said "dinner".
A Yes, what time is it? Why don't you eat? We have a regular diet and will eat when the time comes.
B what! I asked him your age and he said "Zhajiang Noodles". Is this correct?
A Yes, we just ate Zhajiang Noodles. I tell you, we teach our disciples to cook good dishes, and pies and jiaozi are commonplace. Just this meal: mushroom gravy, spaghetti. Unlike you who taught your disciples not to give delicious food, Dundun fed bean cakes.
Who is it? Is this "your age" or "eating"? Is this "expensive" or "eating fried noodles with soy sauce"? Yeah, right?
What? What? "Your age" means "eating"? Is this "expensive" or "eating fried noodles with soy sauce"? That's more like it? When you are seven feet tall, you can blurt out "You are old" and tell others that you have eaten "Zhajiang Noodles". How can you live in the world! Today, you must explain it to me clearly. Why do you brazenly say "getting rich" as "eating" and "eating Zhajiang Noodles"? Say!
What did I say? Do you understand that I didn't say that just now?
Didn't you say that?
B-ho, put it on me! I said, I didn't say it just now
Who said that?
What your apprentice said.
Answer (shaking his head) No. ...
B here we go again. Yes, your apprentice said so.
Did my apprentice really say that?
B exactly.
A let me ask.
B asked.
Is A (C) coming?
Here comes C.
A (right)?
B keep asking.
Who did A come with?
C came with you.
A well, it's rare for a child to talk. You just asked him. What did he say?
B "Come with my master".
I asked him where he was.
B "I came with you".
At first glance, how polite you are. You are long and short, old and young. Unlike you.
What is wrong with me?
A is neither too big nor too small.
B, you ask.
What is A doing here?
B said cross talk is coming.
A how many paragraphs can you talk about?
It's been a while.
This doesn't include the new ones.
B, ask down!
A Is there anything left below?
B Yes, go ahead.
A What should I ask next?
B ask him about his qualifications.
A is there this sentence?
B nonsense, that's the key!
A (looking at c carefully) Disciple, before Master asks you, I want to say a few words to you. It is not easy for our fathers to come here. You should think twice before answering this sentence. This sentence is very important!
B what does it matter?
A is related to the success or failure of our mentoring, honor and disgrace, sadness and joy; It is related to whether our fathers can eat steamed bread and jiaozi, or whether they can eat steamed bread and baked sweet potatoes!
B: OK.
You must be careful, meticulous, comprehensive and thoughtful. Think carefully before you answer.
B ask quickly.
Master A, let me ask you something. How old are you?
C has eaten.
B-ho。
A: Don't be busy, don't be busy. My apprentice has eaten well these two days. He was furious and his ears were a little heavy. He didn't hear you clearly. I asked your apprentice: How old are you?
C eat Zhajiang Noodles.
B: OK.
Disciple, Disciple, you failed Master's painstaking efforts in vain. Why don't you think twice? It's ridiculous to blurt it out without thinking. I praised you just now, but you beat me out of the water. I said, where are your usual abilities?
What can he do?
I want to hit you today-
B then hit him!
I can't beat you yet.
B look at this.
Master, I want to scold you-
B then scold him.
I'm afraid you will scold me!
How do you educate them?
If A doesn't beat and scold you, it's hard for me to get out of this evil spirit.
B what should we do?
A will go to the "Sanhesheng Steamed Bun Shop" in the north city later, and I will buy 500 steamed buns to raise you to death!
B What kind of criminal law is this?
It's a pity that you didn't remember a word that Master usually taught you. Actually speaking, which sentence is more profound than "Gui Geng"? How irritating!
This child is so annoying.
A: You see, we are so excellent, that is to say, we should teach our children the same skills as before and not let you pick up jokes.
B that's impossible.
Disciple A (to C), you answered that sentence wrong just now. Remember, if someone asks you "you are old" in the future, never say "have a meal and eat noodles with fried sauce" to others. This is all wrong.
B: Yes.
If someone asks you again in the future, "classmate, how old are you?" That is to ask if you are married.
B go! Step aside, (to A) Stop, where is this? I said, why is this child so stupid? You have been teaching him. I said, what do you usually teach your children?
I usually give my children water with boiled water.
Well, I almost didn't kill my child. Didn't such a good boy keep you? Well, after all this talk, you still don't understand what Gui Geng said. What do you mean, "Are you married?" Is this ridiculous? Be a teacher, be full of fat, and don't mislead children! "Confucius said: Knowing is knowing, and not knowing is not knowing. If you don't know what people know, you don't know what people are. You seek to know!
What do you know?
Listen carefully. It's a good thing you met me today. If you meet someone, your teeth will smile. Don't smirk!
A yes, yes.
B (turning to c) You are such an annoying child! Who is not good at learning? What will he do if you choose to learn from him?
What can you do?
B, cut the crap. I'm telling you, listen carefully. It's your turn to see me today. I am not conservative at all. Today I will let you learn something real. Remember, student, this sentence of Gui Geng doesn't mean whether you have eaten or not, or what you have eaten, slag noodles, or "Are you married?" as your asshole master said. This is completely wrong. I'll tell you the real correct answer today. This "noble" is to ask you "Is beriberi good?"
A, go and play! Do you understand what I said?
B I'm ... I'm just so-so.
Well, there are three assholes in Taiwan Province. Do you think we really don't understand? That's just Doby. You. Where are you going to meet someone? As the saying goes, the strong are always strong, and there are talents behind them. Isn't there 3600 pushers behind the talented person?
B-ho。
Look at the man who gave you to the cow. If I don't have the ability, dare to accept my apprentice? Be modest in the future, as the saying goes, three people walk together and learn from each other. How thick the brick is, how thin the jade tile is. If you are polite to others, you must ask for something. Be open-minded. I can't be shorter than you or taller than me.
Right, right.
A said for a long time, I can't give you a lecture for nothing, but I have to show you some knowledge. Disciple, how can you never remember this sentence? That's expensive. This is asking how old you are.
B yes.
Master A, let me ask you something. You were seventeen last year and you are a teenager this year.
Sixteen years old.
A, b!
B Well, keep a turtle in a jar-the more you keep, the more you smoke.
No, you were seventeen last year, but aren't you fifteen this year? Oh, I'm confused, too! You are eighteen years old this year. Eighteen. What do you belong to?
The third kind of donkey.
Is there a donkey in A? Eighteen horses belong to Malaysia. Go ahead, eighteen. What's up?
C belongs to Maha.
B-ho。
A belongs to Maha! You don't belong to squid? It belongs to Malaysia, no.
C is Malaysia, nothing.
A: No, ha, forget it. Apprentice, how old are you?
C is eighteen.
What is genus A?
It belongs to Malaysia.
At first glance, how smart the child is and how solid he remembers it. (to b) I said. You can ask this time.
B good. (To C) Student, how old are you?
C is eighteen.
B is eighteen. What does it belong to?
It belongs to Malaysia.
B Are you old?
C is eighteen.
What is the second genus?
It belongs to Malaysia.
B Are you old?
C is eighteen.
What is the second genus?
It belongs to Malaysia.
(Repeated questions and answers several times)
A (Stop B) All right, all right. Ask the child silly later. Let's talk.
B: That's right. Hey, how's everything at home?
A yes.
B is old man in good health?
Where is the armor?
B Ah, seriously, how old is he this year?
You asked my dad?
C is eighteen.
B-ho。
Did A (to C) ask you? It's my dad.
oh
A: You have to call the master.
C.
A, go! You came here to "beat" those geese. Ask my father what I can do for you. It's really irritating. (Turning to B) Besides, you are wrong. Can you ask the old man?
B what's there to ask?
A: How old are you?
B I'm 47 years old.
Did A ask you? You asked me this.
Father B is old this year?
A is eighteen ... Oh, I'm confused! 78
Master B is seventy-eight. Seriously, what does he belong to?
You asked my dad?
It belongs to Malaysia.
Answer?
C said nothing.
A said nothing. The child is so hateful that he just butted in. From now on, you are not allowed to talk. If someone asks: Why don't you talk? Just tell him: I won't let you talk. The child is too naughty.
B don't be as knowledgeable as a child.
A person is angry.
Last Sunday, I saw your father.
Where is a?
B beiling park.
My father is good at walking.
Father B is really old. We haven't seen each other for two years.
You should talk.
I say hello from far away: How are you, uncle?
Did my father speak?
B said nothing.
Make yourself at home. The old man is old and hard of hearing. Come closer.
B I walked up to the old man, pulled my coat and asked, How are you, Grandpa?
Did my father speak?
Your father hasn't spoken yet.
My dad, why doesn't he talk?
C you won't let me talk!
B-ho。
————————————
believer
Where is the performance here?
B, perform here.
A I heard that crosstalk performers are all learned?
B No, no, crosstalk performers haven't studied for a few days in the past. Most of them are oral and heartfelt, so they only learn to ask questions.
A said, you are much worse than me. Compared with me, you are only one tenth of "nine Niu Yi hairs".
B We have none left. So, you are learned?
A certainly. I know everything. I know everything There is nothing I don't know about ancient and modern China and foreign countries, a hundred schools of thought contend, literature and history, astrology.
B I think you don't know the same thing!
I don't know what?
B you don't know "poor"!
A compliment.
B is also awesome! What knowledge do you have from staring and boasting?
A My knowledge, even if I tell you, you don't understand it. Your education is too low, your knowledge is too little, your experience is too shallow and your level is too low. You didn't understand what I said, which not only delayed my precious time, but also embarrassed you in public. Talking about study with you is like casting pearls before swine.
B, that's insulting! Today, I want to take a good look at your knowledge.
A: If you really want to consult, you don't need me to teach you to study in person. My closed disciple gives you some advice!
Do you have an apprentice?
Nonsense. I think both Kong Qiu and Confucius have 3,000 disciples, not to mention me.
B me?
Do you know what I am?
I see.
What do you mean by me?
B is the one who was shot!
Jiayi, I am who I am.
Yes, you were shot!
A: How to speak?
Confucius in the second family had 3,000 disciples, the most outstanding of whom were 72 sages.
Confucius' disciples are all salty people, but my disciples are not so salty.
B what?
A just marinated for a few days.
Duck eggs!
A: I have a favorite apprentice. He is young and capable. I taught him all my knowledge.
What is your ability as an apprentice?
A I am an apprentice who knows astronomy from above, geography from below, and knows people from the middle. Knowing yin and yang, gossip, six tricks, armor, strategizing, winning thousands of miles away, and making up your mind to divide the world before going out of the cottage.
Is this your apprentice?
This is Zhuge Liang.
B Why did you mention Zhuge Liang?
A can't show my apprentice's ability without mentioning Zhuge Liang.
What can your apprentice do?
A: My apprentice is a cursory visitor, who knows sheep with an eye, answers questions and answers ten times, and knows everything. He is really the spirit of all things, the hero of mankind!
B I don't think he is a hero of mankind!
He is-
B garlic in the vegetable market.
Aha, garlic!
Tell you what, if your apprentice is really capable, please bring him out so that I can meet him.
A: Oh, do you want to learn something from my apprentice and learn more?
B, you ask him out and I'll tell him.
A: All right. (Looking around) Hey, I just slapped you here!
B is not good at playing this game!
A (yelling at the curtain) Awkward! Awkward! ……
B wait a minute. Who are you looking for?
A is looking for my apprentice.
What is your apprentice's name? ...
A it's embarrassing.
B Oh, how embarrassing!
Embarrassed, embarrassed-
(On the side curtain, C replied, "Hey-",pulling a long note, stupidly lying on the ground, with a straight pen and a glassy-eyed bow forward, back, left and right)
What is your apprentice doing?
A: This is Master. I teach well and my disciples are polite.
B just now, that was ...
A made a western gift imported from abroad.
This is not a gift from the west!
You see, this is ...
The second calf worships everywhere.
A: This is your ignorance. When my apprentice is free at the moment, if you have any problems, please ask him at once. My apprentice Fan "Paiji" went later, and you can't find it anywhere.
B I have to hurry. (Look at C carefully) Can this be learned?
A man is not judged by his appearance. You look good. Why not export it to pandas?
B Hey, can I ask him?
Ask.
B I always watch this kid "Malden throw".
A has a lot of knowledge.
B (to himself) Let me ask some simple questions first. (To C) Student, are you there?
Here comes C.
B Hey, it's hard to say. It's alive.
A nonsense, die early and stink early.
………………
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