Dad teased the baby with toys.

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman? "

"She is a candy seller."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? "

"She sells sweets."

Nest and hair

My sister is a primary school teacher. One of her students told her that a bird has built its nest in a tree outside the classroom.

"What bird?" My sister asked.

"I don't see any birds, madam, only a bird's nest," the child replied.

"Then, can you describe this bird's nest for us?" My sister encouraged her.

"Well, madam, it's like your hair."

Precautions:

(1) notify v.

(2) nest n. nest; nesting

3. Description

(4) Encourage

(5) reassemble v. similarity; similar

Bird's nest and hair

My sister is a primary school teacher. Once, a student told her that a bird had built a nest in a tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird is it?" Sister asked her.

"Teacher, I don't see any birds, only a bird's nest." The child replied.

"So, can you describe this bird's nest for us?" My sister encouraged her.

"Oh, teacher, just like your hair."

I just bit my tongue.

"Are we poisonous?" The young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I just bit my tongue!"

Precautions:

Poisonous

Because I just bit my tongue because I just bit my tongue. Cause in the sentence is the abbreviation of cause.

I just bit my tongue.

"Are we poisonous?" A young snake asked its mother.

"Yes, dear," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I just bit my tongue."

A woman who fell down

It was rush hour, and I rushed to a train at new york Central Station. As I approached the gate, a plump middle-aged woman rushed up from behind, lost her foothold on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. Her momentum brought her close to my shoes. However, before I could help her, she had climbed up. She calmed down, winked at me and said, "Do you always let beautiful women fall at your feet?"

A depraved woman

During the rush hour, I hurried to new york Luxury Center Station to catch the train. Near the door, a chubby middle-aged woman rushed from behind, only to find that she slipped on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. Her inertia brought her close to my feet. I was going to help her, but she stood up by herself. She calmed down, picked my eyebrows and said, "Are there always beautiful women falling at your feet?"

English jokes (1)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: Monkeys can have fleas, but fleas cannot have monkeys.

What's the difference between monkeys and fleas? You may directly think that they are a big one and a small one. But besides, monkeys can have fleas, but fleas can't have monkeys. Is this an interesting answer?

Q: How can you irritate a farmer best?

Step on his corn?

If you step on a farmer's corn or grain, he will definitely get angry; And if you step on the corns of farmers' feet, they will be more angry. Corn can refer to both "corn/grain" and "corn".

Q: What is the strongest creature in the world?

A: Snails. It carries the house on its back.

Because snails always carry a house on their backs, it is not surprising that snails are the strongest creatures in the world. What did you say?/Sorry?

Q: What do people do in watch factories?

They make faces all day.

When you see this sentence, don't think that people who work in a watch factory make faces all day! Because in addition to this meaning, it can be literally understood as making a clock face.

Q: How to stop sleepwalkers from walking in their sleep?

Keep him awake.

How can we stop sleepwalkers from walking in their sleep? The easiest way is not to let him sleep. Although this is not a treatment, if the sleepwalker is awake, he will not sleepwalk.

English jokes (2)

He is really a big shot.

-My uncle has 1000 people.

-He's really something. What does he do?

-The maintenance man in the cemetery.

He is really a big shot.

There are 1000 people under my uncle.

-He's really a big shot. What do you do?

Graveyard keeper.

English jokes (3)

Shortly after an old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States, she went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk carefully checked every bill to see if it was true. This made the old lady impatient.

Finally, she couldn't hold on any longer and said. "Believe me, Sir, believe in money. They are real dollars. They are directly from the United States. "

They were brought directly from America.

An old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States and went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every banknote to see if it was fake.

This made the old woman very impatient. Finally, she couldn't help saying, "Trust me, sir, and please trust these bills, too. These are real dollars, and they are brought directly from the United States. "

English joke (4) My puppy can't read.

Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

Honey, I lost my precious puppy!

Mrs Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My puppy can't read. "

English jokes (5) bring me winners

Waiter, this lobster has only one paw.

-I'm sorry, sir. It must be fighting.

-Well, then bring me the winner.

Give me the winner.

Waiter,

This lobster has only one claw.

Sorry, sir, but this one must have been in a fight.

Oh, then give me the winner.

English joke (6) The party of mean men.

The notorious cheapskate finally decided to invite a guest. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Go up to 5 meters and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, push it with your foot. "

"Why use my elbows and feet?"

"Oh, dear," he replied, "you won't come empty-handed, will you?"

The miser's treat.

A notorious miser finally decided to invite a guest. Explaining to a friend how to find his home, he said, "You go up to the fifth floor, find the middle door, and then ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, push it open with your feet. "

"Why use my elbows and feet?"

"Your hand has been taken as a gift. God, you won't come empty-handed, will you? " The miser replied.

On a country road, a state trooper pulled the farmer over and said, "Sir, are you aware that your wife fell out of the car a few miles ago?" To this, the farmer replied, "Thank God, I thought I was deaf."

On a country road, a policeman stopped the farmer and said, "Sir, do you realize that your wife fell off the car a few kilometers ago?" The farmer replied, "Thank God, I thought I was deaf!" " "

Boxing and running

Dan is teaching his son how to box. When he did this, he left his friend. "This is a difficult world, so I will teach my son to fight."

Friend: "But suppose he meets someone much bigger than him, and he has also learned boxing."

Dan: "I'm teaching him to run, too."

Boxing and running

Dan is teaching his son how to box. He told his friend, "This is a rough world, so I will teach my son how to fight."

Friend: "What if he meets someone who is taller and stronger and can box?"

Dan: "I will also teach him how to run a race."

Ivan came home with a bloody nose. His mother asked, "What happened?"

"A child bit me," Ivan replied.

"Can you recognize him if you see him again?" His mother asked.

"I know where he is," Ivan said. "His ears are in my pocket."

Ivan came home with a nosebleed. His mother asked, "What's the matter?"

"A boy bit me," Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him when you see him again?" Mom asked.

"I can recognize him wherever he goes," Ivan said. "His ears are still in my pocket."

Teacher: Matthew, what's the climate like in New Zealand?

Matthew: Very cold, sir.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! The meat they send us is always frozen!

Teacher: Matthew, what's the climate like in New Zealand?

Matthew: Sir, the weather there is very cold.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! The pork shipped from there is frozen hard.

1. When was Rome built? When was Rome built?

Teacher: When was Rome built?

Tom: At night.

Teacher: Who told you that?

Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.

Teacher: When was Rome built?

Tom: It was built at night.

Teacher: Who told you that?

Tom: It's you. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.

He knows the answer. He knows the answer.

Teacher: Can you tell me something about/kloc-the great scientist of the 8th century?

Student: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.

Teacher: Can you tell me something about1the great scientists of the 8th century?

Student: I can, sir. They are all dead.

3. Where do babies come from? Where do children come from?

I asked my father where babies came from.

He said you downloaded it from the internet.

I asked my dad where the child came from, and he said it was downloaded from the Internet.

4. Substantive amendments

Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast today.

Walter: What's that?

Teacher: eggs.

Walter: Wrong, sir. That was yesterday.

Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast today.

Walter: What did I eat?

Teacher: eggs.

Walter: Wrong, sir. That was eaten yesterday.

I don't want to get involved in an argument that I don't want to argue.

"Gerald," the teacher asked, "what shape is the earth?"

"It's round," Gerald replied.

"How do you know it's round?" The teacher continued.

"Well, that's settled," he replied. "I really don't want to argue about it!"

"Gerald," said the teacher, "what shape is the earth?"

"It's round," Gerald replied.

"How do you know it's round?" The teacher continued to ask.

"Well, that's settled," he replied. "I really don't want to argue with you about this!"

6. Three reasons. Three reasons

Teacher: Bob, give me three reasons why you think the earth is round.

Bob: Mom said so, Dad said so, and you said so!

Teacher: Bob, give three reasons to prove that the earth is round.

Bob: Mom said so, Dad said so, and you said so!

7. Who should I give a gift to? Who should I give the gift to?

A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked.

Which one of them should get a gift, "Who is the most obedient,

Never talk back to your mother, do what your mother says? "He?

Asked. First there was silence, and then there was a chorus of voices: "Come and play,

Dad! "

A father with five children came home with a toy, called the children together and asked who the gift should be given to. "Who is the most obedient and never talks back to his mother and does whatever he is told?" He asked.

Everyone was silent. After a while, the children said in unison, "Dad, you play."

8. Big head with big head

"All the children make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother. "They said me.

Big head. "

"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted. "You are very beautiful.

Head. Don't cry now. Go to the store and buy ten pounds of potatoes. "

"Where is the shopping bag?"

"I didn't. Use your hat."

"All the children make fun of me," the little boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head."

"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted. "Your head is very beautiful. Okay, stop crying,

Go to the store to buy 10 pound potatoes. "

"Where is the bag?" "I don't have a bag, just use your hat."