I have a princess.

An energetic old woman went to take a bus. On the bus, a polite boy scout got up to make way for the old woman. The old woman said, "Sit tight, I'm still young, and I don't need your seat!" " "

After a while, the boy scout stood up again. The old lady patted him on the shoulder and said, "Never mind. You don't have to give me your seat. I am not that old. I am still young! " "

In this way, twice, three times, four times, the boy scout cried! "Old woman, my home has passed several stops, why don't you let me go home! ! ! "

Some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. A burst of nausea, the man spit all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I am like this ... "

A child was sitting at the door playing, and a middle-aged man asked him, "Is your father at home?"

The child answered "at home", and the middle-aged man rang the doorbell for a long time, but no one answered the door.

So the man asked angrily, "Why don't you open the door?"

The little boy replied, "I don't know, this is not my home!" " "

A, B and C went out together, and A caught a cold. ...

Everyone sleeps in a bed at night, and A sleeps in the middle.

In the middle of the night ... A sniffles, and B and C are covered with A crystals.

Let us know next time ...

Half an hour later.

A: Attention. ...

B, C, Wen Wen quickly got into the quilt and made sure there was no contact with the outside world …

Then a fart.

Cao Cao's Tongguan steed was so fast that he had to abandon his robe and be defeated, and he couldn't help sighing in the big tent.

Zhang Liao: "Why is the Prime Minister sighing?"

"hey!" Cao Cao: "I'm thinking, if only Guan Yu were still under my command."

"Yes!" Zhang Liao nodded and said, "If there is a cloud here, Ma Chao should cut it."

"That's not what I meant." Cao Cao only brushed his beard halfway and said, "Today Ma Chao shouted,' Cao Cao has a beard, and Cao Cao has a beard'. If Guan Yu were here ... his beard is much longer than mine, do I still need it to be so miserable? "

There was a prince who was cursed and could only say one sentence a year, but he liked a princess very much, so you endured five years of silence. When you have saved enough, you come to the princess and say, "Please marry me!" "

The princess said in surprise, "What?"

A professor is teaching in the field: "Don't be afraid of being dirty in scientific research. . . "Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty." . . "Then I poked the cow dung on the ground with my finger and licked it in my mouth. Professor: "Besides, I should be good at observation. I just poked dung with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger. . . "-

A cavalry was unfortunately captured in the battle.

"We will kill all the prisoners." The enemy leader said to him, "But because of your heroic performance in the battle, I can kill you in three days and meet your three requirements before that." Now, you can ask the first question. "

Without thinking, the cavalry said, "I want to say something to my horse." The leader agreed. So the cavalry went over and whispered a word to his horse. Hearing this, the horse gave a long whistle and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back with a beautiful woman on its back. In the evening, the cavalry spent the spring night with the girl. The leader exclaimed, "What a wonderful BMW!" He said, "But I will kill you. What is your second requirement? "

The cavalry asked to talk to the horse again. The leader agreed, so the cavalry whispered a few words to the horse again, and the horse roared again and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back. This time, the girl on her back is sexier than last time. That night, the cavalry and the girl had another happy night.

The leader was greatly impressed: "You and your horse are really an eye-opener, but I will kill you tomorrow. Now you make one last request. " The cavalry thought for a moment and said, "I want to talk to my horse alone." The leader felt very strange, but nodded in agreement and left with his entourage, leaving only the cavalry and his BMW in the tent. The cavalry stared at his horse, suddenly grabbed its ear and said angrily, "I repeat, take a brigade, not a woman!" " "

1 turtle 1 family climbing picnic They climbed a mountain for 50 years, so they sat down and began to have a picnic. When they opened their backpacks, Father Tortoise was surprised to find that he forgot to bring the can opener ... so he had to ask Little Tortoise to go home and get it. . Little turtle had no choice but to say to his parents, "I'm gone, you can't steal food." Tortoise's parents casually agreed ... 200 years passed quickly ... but the little tortoise hasn't come back yet ... so. I have no choice but to eat something else first ... when Father Tortoise was about to throw food into his mouth, Little Tortoise suddenly jumped out of the grass and said, "Haha ... I waited here for 200 years and knew you would steal." ...............

One day, a man was sitting in a bar, staring blankly at his drink. At this moment, a truck driver came over and drank his drink upside down.

The man burst into tears. The truck driver quickly said, "What's the big deal? I'll buy you a drink later. "

The man sobbed and said, "No, today is my worst day." This morning, my alarm clock was broken and I was late for work. My boss flew into a rage and fired me. Just as I was about to go home, I found my car stolen, and the police said there was nothing they could do. So I took a taxi home. When I got home, I left my wallet in the taxi and the driver drove away. When I got home, I found that my wife was having an affair with the gardener, so I came here to try to commit suicide. At this time, you appeared and drank all my poison. "

The husband went abroad for an inspection, and his wife and little daughter were at home.

The daughter said to her mother, "I want a little brother!" " "

Mom said, "that's a good idea, but don't you think you should wait for dad to come back?"

The youngest daughter said, "Why not give him a surprise?"