Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Want to send some text messages or jokes to others, who has them?
Want to send some text messages or jokes to others, who has them?
Do n't move Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left and women stand on the right! Stand among the perverts! I am talking about you! Look at the phone!
Congratulations! Your mobile phone has passed the upgrade test. Please put it on the chopping board and hit it with a sledgehammer three times to upgrade!
Your underwear is similar to bin Laden's, and the American target has been locked! Please take it off and throw it into the water, streaking ten kilometers away!
Please read the following numbers quickly: 252525252525 ... All right, baby, this is your bone!
Notice: tomorrow, the top leaders will come down to inspect the work. All colleagues please dress as required. Man: suit, tie, shorts and slippers; Lady: swimsuit, pants, shoes!
This is a poem by Li Bai. Please read it aloud: In bed, holding plum blossoms, I can only win prizes, invite Wen to sleep, and sleep knows the green color of spring.
Serious warning, your number is the same as President Clinton's. Please apply to the local public security organ for replacement as soon as possible to avoid international disputes and love affairs.
Hello, your fee is overdue. The SIM card will explode in ten seconds. Please give up your mobile phone immediately and stay away from the 10-meter explosion range ~
Hongxiang is watermelon, talkative is cucurbitaceae, croaking is frog, and watching the news is a fool.
When horses and donkeys meet tigers, they turn around and run. The donkey ran very slowly, and the horse shouted, "Stupid donkey! How can you run fast with a mobile phone in your hand! Throw it over! "
Today's four fools: those who can't commit suicide by hanging themselves in love, those who take medicine without illness or disaster, those who sign invalid contracts, and those who giggle at mobile phones!
Four modern fools: come home from work and earn money for your wife to spend. Leave your phone number with the lady and order lobster at the hotel.
Four misfortunes: I bought a pair of shoes with no bottom, bought a teapot without a mouth, pulled a mule without a condom, and tried to make a phone call without a signal.
Some people's four wishes: mosquitoes wear masks, mice wear shackles, flies often take a bath, and insects dance.
Four ideals of women: men are stupid and send me money every day. I have to wait in line to choose. I have never been old.
Men's four ideals: a woman with a good figure, a high natural IQ, better than Monroe, helpful and kind-hearted.
Four reasons for being in a bad mood recently: the stock is falling every day, the football lottery has not won several issues, the position is not high for several years, and the beautiful girlfriend has run away!
There are four tragedies in life: riding in the wild and getting caught in the rain, running away from home and being known by the enemy, power failure on a hot summer night and insufficient time for playing cards.
Four major projects: tiling the Great Wall, setting gold edges at the equator, vertical railings in the Pacific Ocean, and paving steps at Mount Everest.
Four small projects: gloves for flies, masks for mosquitoes, fetters for fleas and condoms for mice.
Four things: don't eat too much, don't be greedy for money, don't be too old, and don't touch the dance.
There is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, a yearning called longing, and an idiot who will finish reading the message!
If you think that harassing me by texting can make your dirty heart feel unusually satisfied, then you can continue to send it. I sympathize with you!
Tell you a good news: if the SIM card is heated above 500 degrees, your mobile phone fee will be halved. Try it quickly! ! !
Wood makes furniture, scholars know poetry, people think about money, and fools read the news.
It is more tiring to marry a wife. I washed my feet, rubbed my legs, and beat my back, and then I slept on the bed, as if I hated the old society, and my hands were full of bitter tears!
Since I met you, you should be very clear about your position in my heart. Everyone except you is a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different, because you ... are two piles.
Chickens call eggs, ducks call duck eggs, and those that can be fried are called bombs; The one who reads the information is an asshole, and the one who laughs is an idiot. Anger is a fool!
Strange, strange, strange, strange, I found that Chun Lv and Chun Lv have mental problems. They don't eat, drink or rest. Where is Wen Chun Green? They are burying their heads in the news!
I would like to wait under the starry sky until a star is touched by me, breaking the silence of the night sky for me, full of my wishes, falling on your sleeping pillow and killing you!
If you receive this message, which proves that your mobile phone is infected with virus, please take out your mobile phone card immediately and brush it with gasoline.
God saw that you were thirsty and created water; God saw that you were hungry, so he created rice. God saw that you had no lovely friends, so he created me. At the same time, God found that there is no fool in this world and created you by the way.
Hello, your good friend, I ordered a power train for you. Next, please hit the washbasin with your head. Did you hear "when"? Ok, the song list is over!
During the water-splashing festival, someone suddenly cursed: Who the fuck threw me away? People advise: it is a blessing to vote for you. Bitch: Please, some idiot threw boiling water at me!
I'll give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will definitely eat a catty and pack more. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!
According to the research of Massachusetts Institute of Technology, soaking the mobile phone in water 1 minute before making a phone call can completely avoid the radiation of electromagnetic waves to the human brain, remember!
Your mobile phone has been infected with HIV. For safety, please wear a mask, gloves and condoms when using.
Congratulations, your wish that "all fences have been knocked down, feed has fallen from the sky, butchers all over the world have died, and people all over the world have become Buddhists" has come true!
Please read down,,,, Keep reading down,,, Keep reading,,, Don't read until I tell you to? "fool"
On mouse's birthday, he boasted that there would be guests. On the birthday, others laughed at it as a bat, but the mouse proudly said that at least it was a stewardess.
The vast sky makes you fly high, beautiful stories are interpreted by you, kind children have to chase them, and humorous messages are sent to the little turtle! ! !
Report: Your sleeping position is not correct at this time. For your health, please get up and go back to sleep.
There is a tacit understanding, a beautiful feeling, a happiness to accompany you, a longing to see, an idiot who finished reading the message.
Starting today, please call 1 10 for free to win a 9-day value-added tour of the detention center. Call now and give posters and other gifts.
Congratulations on becoming the 654.38+00000 lucky user of China Mobile. Please take your ID card to get a missile from bin Laden in Afghanistan!
The sun makes you smoke, and the toilet is in front. I'm covered in shit. When I touch my body, I have no paper! ................., use your hand. What are you waiting for?
Extra extra, now I have found the world's first pug who can only read short messages! ! !
A man's motorcycle broke down on the road. Just then, an old farmer with a mule came over and pulled the motorcycle away with a mule. The old farmer sighed: motorcycles also need rollers!
I wish you a pleasant journey and disappear halfway; I wish you laugh often, you have to laugh anyway; I wish you a happy day, leg cramps; I wish you all the best and hit a wall everywhere.
The first ray of sunshine in the morning is my deep blessing to you. The last blush of the sunset is my heartfelt greeting to you: "How are you, fool?"
An elephant chased an ant desperately. The ant saw a mound in front of him, plunged into it and put out a foot. Why? It wants to trip the elephant.
A new method of mobile phone maintenance: soak the mobile phone in a basin of clean water within 5 seconds after each boot 10 minute, and the service life of the mobile phone will be doubled.
If you don't eat for nothing, you will become an idiot. Idiot doesn't eat for nothing. Don't be silly, don't be silly, look again!
Hello, your fee is overdue. The SIM card will explode in ten seconds. Please give up your mobile phone immediately and stay away from the ten-meter explosion range.
The Tang Priest is assigning work at the foot of the flaming mountain: "Wukong goes to explore the road, Wukong goes to reach the water, Bajie, why are you still reading the short message?"
I was at a loss when I met you, and I couldn't avoid my affectionate eyes. I know your heart and run hard, but you follow me closely. I cried: Whose dog is nobody's business?
If you turn around and frighten a cow to death, if you turn around and knock down a building, if you turn around three times, the boy in the street will jump off the building, if you turn around four times, the water will flow backwards.
In case of fire, please press it and then press it. Donkeys are as stupid as you! I told you to press it in case of fire, then press it again. Stupid as a donkey, I still press it! Donkey!
Dear users, your mobile phone is dead because of continuous texting. Please bite the battery with your teeth, and don't charge it for 10 days.
Seeing your back, I want to commit a crime. Seeing your silhouette, I want to shrink back, seeing your front, I want to defend myself.
You are so handsome, you are so handsome, you are so handsome! You have a cabbage on your head and a kelp around your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation failed god.
My heart is very sad, tears are pouring down my face, and my character is good. Why do you love others and not me, my dear RMB!
I like you very much! So I really want to hit on you! But there was no chance until. . . Until the water boils. Chezai brand oolong tea bag, I like it.
There are stars and the moon hanging in the sky, the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon has a lot on his mind, the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl are in love, the Moon Old Matchmaker is a myth, and there is a fool who doesn't talk and squints at the phone.
Noodles beat steamed bread! Looking for steamed bread, steamed stuffed bun, jiaozi went for revenge! I see instant noodles! Steamed bread is a sample. I won't know you if it's hot.
It is wood who makes furniture, a scholar who knows poetry, a genius who sends information, and a fool who receives information. Look, fool!
I'll tell you a secret. Please look at the back first, then at the left, then at the side. Okay, okay, please don't look around with your mobile phone, okay?
Chickens call eggs, ducks call duck eggs, bombs will explode, assholes will watch the news, and idiots will laugh when they are angry.
Falling sky, I am on the other side of your house. The scenery is romantic. I hope to have your company. When you hear the phone ring, pick it up and watch it. Either stupid or heavy.
Betrayal is a man's blood, fraternity is a man's declaration, freedom is a man's mantra, and changing things is a man's fashion.
Spirit of heaven! Grinch Unknown boy, show up. Haha-I saw you, pretending to read the news.
A riverside and a Jiang Tao, one mountain is higher than the other. Send a message to the straw bag, and the straw bag must put the mobile phone. Take out your mobile phone and look down, and find yourself an idiot.
Cold remedies: lean your head against the door frame and close the door hard until you feel dizzy and have a slight congestion, and the cold can be cured.
You scold me, I bow my head, your wife gave birth to a nest of monkeys, some jumping, some jumping, some giggling after reading the information!
The tiger was bitten by a crab. The tiger chased after it and disappeared at once! The tiger is looking for it! I saw a spider tiger in the tree and said, I don't even know you online.
Let me quietly blindfold you, gently put a watermelon skin under your feet, and then watch you step on it happily.
I let a mosquito come to you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, let it kiss you for me, and hope that I don't light mosquito-repellent incense to scare it away, and it will tell you that I miss you very much.
Mobile phone batteries will be difficult to charge if they are used for more than 2 years. Soaking it in 50% alkaline water can prolong its service life and maintain the new battery.
As eternal as a gust of wind, as real as a dream. I can't calm down if you lower your head and meditate. I can't help telling you before you fart.
You have a great personality and live with courage. It's not your fault to be ugly, it's your fault to come out and scare people.
A junior high school student's English notes: My father died in a bus, my grandfather died in yes, my brother died in a girl, my sister died in a miss, and I died in school.
Others have a lot of roses, but I am short of money. I have a cactus. I hold it and summon up courage to say three words to you: "sit on it!" " "
One day, Bajie came to the Tang Priest in high spirits and said, Master, some people call me handsome. Wukong said with a smile, this idiot must be online again
Marriage is a mistake, divorce is a consciousness, remarriage is a mistake, remarriage is stubborn, giving birth to a child is a big mistake, and a person will not delay anything.
Government notice: our city is in urgent need of a mayor because of the transfer of superiors. Anyone who is healthy and can send Chinese text messages by mobile phone must register with the municipal government before the 30th!
Silent, blind, unable to eat three meals, weak limbs, abnormal facial features, disowning six relatives, ignorant, imposing on all sides, unable to sit still for nine days, very useless.
Men are cool, cool, and cool is not a crime. Even strong people have the right to masturbate.
Three mice can brag more when they are together. A says I eat every medicine as candy, b says I often dance on the mouse trap, and c says I don't have time to talk nonsense. I'm going home to hug the cat to sleep.
It is reasonable for men to look at women, and it is natural for women to look at men. Men don't look at women, they love to write backwards, and women don't look at men. The world is over!
Sitting under a hat, wearing shoes, chewing socks, holding a mobile phone in hand, staring at a pair of beads, trying to have fun.
I miss you alone, where are you chic, I miss you infatuated, and you are a fool reading short messages.
God saw that you didn't have a lovely friend, so he created me. However, God also saw that there is no idiot in this world and created you by the way.
Say a good word to your boss; Say bad words to subordinates; Lie to your wife; Tell lies with your lover; Tell jokes with acquaintances; Talking nonsense with strangers.
Beauty, beauty, I love you and miss you day and night! If you abandon me, go with him and I'll chop you to death! !
See you for the first time I like you so much! You noticed me, too. You smiled brightly and kept waving to me. I can't help hugging you! Lovely lucky cat
If the joys and sorrows of life are a drama, then fools have already arranged to watch mobile phones. Look at it if you don't believe me. fool
I went shopping with you, and suddenly a dog jumped out and bit you. I kicked the dog, and the dog said maliciously, as long as your dog bites me, I am not allowed to bite your dog.
Hello: Today is International Women's Day. On behalf of the International Women's Federation, I officially inform you that all women's toilets and bathrooms are open to you free of charge. Please come here.
"Doctor, my cell phone signal is always bad." "Really? Let me see, oh, I can make a phone call while running in the future! Just fine! "
I was at a loss when I met you in the forest path. As we get closer, I can't restrain my inner confession: whose puppy?
The vast sky allows you to fly high, and the beautiful story is interpreted by you, and the kind girl will not suffer. Humorous short message to turtle. Good night.
Qianshan is always in love and invites me to dinner. Since there is truth in the world, you weren't there when I invited you.
Give you sunshine and you will be brilliant; Give you moonlight, and you will be romantic; Give you a flood, and you will flood; Give you darkness, and you're finished!
Wanshui Qian Shan is always in love, can you contact me? It's love to travel all over China, and only ten short messages are one!
Know what I'm doing? Give you five choices: A: I miss you B: I miss you C: I miss you D: I can't live without you E: All of the above.
The first part: male warriors bravely entered the island of Taiwan Province Province; The second part: the heroine captured Jiang Guangtou alive; Horizontal recognition: everyone is happy.
I want to go for a walk by the sea with you! Listen to the sound of the waves; Smell the sea and feel the majesty of the sea; Take you to climb the highest rock by the sea, and then ... kick you into the sea.
Miss you, always at this time and place will be so strong, you always give everything silently, and I always throw you away like garbage after eating ... toilet paper.
Please note that your name in Jewish means-bin Laden, the FBI has listed your mobile phone number as a listening device!
If you think there is something wrong with your mobile phone, please leave it on and put it in the water for three minutes.
Please read the following numbers quickly for the prize-winning test: 250250250250250 Well, you have reached the standard of 250.
A riverside and a Jiang Tao, one mountain is higher than the other. Send a message to the straw bag, the straw bag must take out his mobile phone, take out his mobile phone and look down, and find himself an idiot.
My heart is very sad, tears are pouring down my face, and my character is good. Why do you love others and not me, my dear RMB?
Call your mobile phone, prompt: the user is going to the toilet, please dial again later. Dial again, prompt tone: the user fell into the toilet. Are you okay?
You are funny, you are funny, you are really funny; People are thinner than cucumbers and have no meat; The skin is thicker than the wall, and bullets cannot penetrate; Learn to somersault and fall into the pit.
Flip a coin and ask God if I love you. If it is positive, it means I love you. If it is negative, then, then will God be wrong?
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