Asking for a joke ... is to make your girlfriend happy when she is angry. ...

One day, one of his high school classmates called him and said that he was on the news. His friend asked him where he saw it, and he proudly said:

"You lost on Google & lt food poisoning > I'm lying on the right in the photo ~"

Tell you a story about an outdoor donkey trip.

That year, two men and one woman went to Anji, Zhejiang Province to climb the mountain. The bamboo forests all over the mountain were beautiful. Passing by one of the snake factories, everyone went in to visit. The dense snakes looked a little goose bumps, so they stopped looking and moved on. It's still under discussion on the way. There won't be any snakes accidentally running out. After a while, MM said she had to pee, so she went to a convenient place in the distance, and we boys stayed where we were. I only heard MM shouting "Ah, I was bitten by a snake". When we heard the news, we ran to the place where the sound came. When you get there, ask what happened. At first, he refused to talk about it. After talking about the seriousness of the situation (probably a poisonous snake), he said that his ass was bitten by a snake. Big deal, if it is poisonous, she can't see the shape of the wound herself, so she has to take off her pants and let us see it (at this time, MM's face is red with shame, and there is nothing she can do, and her life is at stake). "Two points", broken, is a poisonous snake (the one with a circle of teeth marks is nontoxic, and the two points are toxic). What shall we do? It's a matter of life and death. There's nothing I can do. Blood-sucking detoxification. The two of us alternately sucked on MM's ass, vomited blood, and sucked again. Suck and suck, it doesn't feel right. First, blood is not dark red. Second, the snake should not bite her ass. Immediately stopped the blood-sucking detoxification and asked where MM had just peed and disappeared. First, a pool of water was found, then a bamboo root was found next to the water trail, and then a Y-shaped tip with blood on it was seen at the top of the bamboo root. Call them here at once. "I found the snake that bit you. Come and see." MM came over puzzled and was ashamed after reading it. When I went down the mountain, I accompanied MM to the hospital to clean the wound, because we were all desperate for blood before, which was too fierce. At 2 o'clock, we sucked out two holes. At the doctor's request, another stitch was given.

10 years ago, when I was in middle school, my brothers often watched porn on dvd at a brother's house. He lives in his grandfather's house, and his grandparents are over 70, so I don't care much about him. As a result, once the door was left open, his grandfather pushed it open and came in to see it. The old man was dazzled and went out without saying anything. We thought it was nothing. A few days later, it was a tragedy. One day, I suddenly asked him, Dajun, which channel do you often watch? Your grandfather has been looking for it for days. ....

In today's color class, we draw pictures and chat. The classmate next to him said that he picked up a puppy on the road yesterday and took it home, but his mother wouldn't let him keep it and said something that made our class laugh. His mother said that we can only keep one animal in our family, it's up to you.

Primary school art class

The teacher asked everyone to draw what they liked.

A child really doesn't know what to draw.

Just peek at the same table

I saw him scribbling on white paper with black crayons.

Paint one side first, then the other side.

The last two sides are painted black.

This classmate can't help asking

What are you drawing?

...

"laver"

You play Warcraft. The counselor rounds the room, furious, grabs the mouse, drags the desktop shortcut of Warcraft into the recycle bin, empties it, and says, let you play again! So I left ~

Just now I tried a man who went to the toilet without paper. It seems that a lot of tragedies have happened recently. This tragedy happened to me yesterday, too. It seems more exciting. The first half is the same as the boys, except that I didn't bring my paper, but fell on that lump in an ostentatious manner. Call started in the second half. I'm from the finance department, and I'm the only one among a dozen people. I couldn't ask my female colleague to deliver the paper, so I called the little girl at the front desk and asked her to give it to the man. As a result, the little girl was very entangled and gave it to our chairman ... According to the little girl, at that moment, all the people in our company 100 were our chairman, and the rest were all women, crying. For a long time, our chairman uncle fished me out of the pit. ...............

When I was a child, I couldn't swim. When my friend went to the lake, I stood on the shore and watched. Once ~A handed me a truck tire and said I could swim without it. I went into the water with that big tire ~ full of buoyancy ~ it was tragic to row to the center of the lake. A hard-working man slipped into the water from the tire ring ~ the truck tire abandoned me and I couldn't catch it ~ a landlubber struggled for more and more water, and none of my friends saved me, but I don't blame them. The people who saved me died together. How can a child save me? When I was about to die of drinking, I miraculously stepped on a stone. I will stand firm! After that, someone will swim over and give me the damn tire. Later, the lake drained, and there was a big stone in the middle of the lake.

I've been diving for a long time. This is my first time. Served as a soldier in Sanya for two years, and retired home last year 12. When I got off the plane and the airport, I found people all over the street looking at me. Looking down at myself, I realized that Xiaoxue was wearing vest shorts ... it was very cold.

One day, I was playing computer at home, having fun, and suddenly the power went out. I think, watch TV first. ......

People who have just got a driver's license like to put a label "novice on the road" on their new cars to let others know their driving strength at a glance. Today, I saw a guy's car on the road, which said "driver's license is for purchase". . .

Last year, I worked as an English teacher in two kindergartens in Chengdu. Because I am gentle and don't beat and scold children, I am deeply loved by children …

On the Dragon Boat Festival, I finished learning English and prepared to go home (I was the teacher who went to kindergarten at the latest and left kindergarten at the earliest, so I had the privilege).

A little boy tugged at my skirt and said, Happy holidays, teacher! May I kiss you?

I bowed my head and said yes, let him leave saliva on my face.

He asked me sincerely: Teacher, do you have a boyfriend?

I said, no.

I thought he said he would be my boyfriend.

I didn't expect him to say seriously: teacher, let me introduce my father to you as a boyfriend!

I was embarrassed ... He also said: My mother will agree!

Oh, lovely child, the teacher doesn't want to ruin your happy family ~

Sad sadness