Classical Chinese in my pants

My classmate * * * invited three beauties to the garden. Halfway through, the classmate said, "Shit is urgent." So I fled. I haven't seen him for a long time, and everyone is suspicious: "Is it constipation?" Send me to explore.

as the ancients said, since ancient times, no one has shit, and * * * shit without paper. Looking at it today, my classmates really are * * * people! I am merciful and lucky enough to find a piece of broken paper and hand it over.

There's a destiny in the dark, as the saying goes, "People get what they deserve when they are cheap".

He swabbed the excrement with a broken paper, with excessive force, the paper cracked, his hand touched the excrement, slammed it, his hand accidentally touched the ground, and the pain was unbearable. He held it in his mouth, and the excrement entered his mouth, and he was frightened, jumped up and stumbled carelessly ...

As the saying goes, no coincidence makes a book.

When he tripped, he was facing downhill. In order to avoid the tragedy of "dogs eat shit", he sprinted forward with his feet and went straight to the bottom of the slope ...

It was said that there was a pavilion at the bottom of the slope, and the three beauties were resting in the pavilion at this time ...

Everyone heard that men and women were destined to meet for thousands of miles. Only this gentleman has a unique style, creating his own "there are thousands of miles to meet." It can be said that there has never been anyone before. I admire it! 2. Classical Chinese for describing ragged clothes

The button is open and the elbow is exposed: pulling. Touch the skirt and your elbows will be exposed. Describe rags and poverty.

Source: Biography of Liu Yingjie in the Ming Dynasty: "The border is long and the soldiers are few, and the shackles are exposed."

quail: quail bird; Knot: hanging. Quail's tail is short and bald, like a patch. Describe clothes as very shabby.

Source: A Brief Introduction to Xunzi: "Poor in summer, quail in Yiruo County."

naked: covered. Clothes are so tattered that you can't even cover your body. Describe living in poverty.

Source: Qin Mu's Land: "The peasants who are naked and are worried about food and clothing at home look at this group of people who don't know how difficult their crops are and don't say a word."

blue clothes and rags.

Source: Twelve Years of Xuangong in Zuo Zhuan: "If you are arrogant and arrogant, you will be able to enlighten the mountains and forests."

I'm short of money. When I pull my skirt, my elbow will be exposed. Describe clothes in rags. Metaphor attend to one thing and lose another, poor to cope with.

Source: "Zhuangzi Jean Wang": "If you don't make clothes for ten years, you will be crowned, but you will be exhausted. If you are stretched, you will be determined."

hanging quail in midsummer: the bald tail of a quail is like mending a hundred knots. Refers to the poor summer life but unwilling to be an official. His clothes are tattered and knotted, and he hangs on his body like a quail's tail. Describe a person who is in rags, lives in poverty but is lofty and self-sufficient, and is happy in poverty.

Source: A Brief Introduction to Xunzi: "My family is poor in the summer, and my clothes are hanging like quail." 3. The story of diarrhea should be longer, and it's better to shit in your pants. < P > I ate a lot of messy things the other day, and I have diarrhea, which is even worse this morning. This is an opportunity and can't be wasted! So I ate a lot of messy things again, and the feeling of diarrhea became stronger and stronger.

I just squeezed two bottles of Kaiser Dew into * *, and it felt so cool, as if I was about to pull it out. I put on a pair of school uniform pants in the past winter, with tight legs, and even my underwear and coat were put on school uniforms, which is useless now anyway, and then * * * * *.

these pants are very tight, so it's difficult to take them off. I relaxed a little and pulled some in my pants. The back of * * * was hot and sticky, so comfortable! I stood and pulled hard, but I haven't finished pulling for several minutes. My pants are full of loose stools. I reached behind and touched them, and they were wet, but I couldn't tell because my school uniform pants were * * in winter.

I didn't finish just now. I'll keep pulling. But 62616964757A 686964616 Fe 78988E69D8331333431346336 I don't think it's like this. I'm going out for a walk.

I ate a lot of messy things outside, and I took a kaiselu and squeezed it in, which made my hands full of shit. I hurried to wash my hands, and then I went somewhere else.

on the way, I went to a small shop to buy some ice cream to eat. When I ate it, I felt my stomach turned upside down and plopped in my school uniform pants, but it was nothing to me. I walked on, and the back was quite comfortable.

suddenly I felt a strong sense of defecation again, so I squatted down and pooped all the loose stool in my school uniform pants, which was very comfortable! I reached into the back and touched it again. There were more wet places behind the school uniform pants, and my underwear and coat were also wet a little. I wanted to play something more, so I bought some bottles of ice water to drink.

it's much more comfortable to drink, and then all the loose stool flows to your thighs. Standing and pulling a big pool of loose stool in the school uniform pants again.

then I went back in my school uniform pants. On the way back, I wanted to pee, so I simply solved it in my school uniform pants. I pulled it on my school uniform pants, and a little bit of it flowed down the leg to the ground, but most of it was absorbed by the school uniform pants.

I pulled it several times after I went back, and it was also in this school uniform pants. I didn't want to take it off at night, so I slept all night. 4. Han Xin drilling crotch ancient Chinese translation

Translation:

There was a young butcher in Huaiyin who insulted Han Xin and said, "Although you are tall and like to carry a sword, you are very weak at heart." And publicly insulted him and said, "If you are not afraid of death, stab me to death;" Otherwise, just climb under my crotch. " Han Xin watched him carefully for a while, and leaned forward to climb over each other's legs. People in the market laughed at him, thinking that Han Xin was really timid.

Original text:

Some young people in Huaiyin Slaughterhouse insulted the letter, saying,' If you grow up, you are good at carrying swords, but you are afraid of your ears.' The public said,' Faith can die, stab me, but not die, and come out of my crotch.' So the letter depends on it, and it is squatting out of the crotch. Everyone in the city laughed at the letter and thought it was timid.

Extended information

Character background

Han Xin (about 231 BC-196 BC), a native of Huaiyin (formerly Huaiyin County, Jiangsu Province, now Huaiyin District), was a founding hero of the Western Han Dynasty, an outstanding strategist in the history of China, and was ranked as three outstanding heroes of early han dynasty alongside Xiao He and Zhang Liang.

in his early years, he was poor and often sent food from people. At the end of the Qin Dynasty, he took part in the anti-Qin struggle and defected to Xiang Yu. After that, he was recommended by Xia Houying and paid homage to Su Dawei, but he was not reused. Xiao He recommended Han Xin to Liu Bang, so Liu Bang made Han Xin a general. Han Xin analyzed the situation of Chu and Han to Liu Bang. dispatch troops was eastward, and Sanqin could seize it. Liu bang adopted this suggestion, immediately made arrangements, and quickly occupied Guanzhong.

in the Chu-Han war, Han Xin played an outstanding military talent. Wei was pacified, and last stand defeated Dai and Zhao. After that, he went north and surrendered to Yan. In the fourth year of Han Dynasty, Han Xin was worshipped as a prime minister, led his troops to attack Qi, captured Linzi, and led 2 Wan Chu troops to aid Qi in Weifang Water. So, Liu Bang sent Zhang Liangli Han Xin as the king of Qi, and in October of the following year, he ordered Han Xin to meet with him and panic in the Chu army, forcing Xiang Yu to commit suicide.

after the establishment of the Han dynasty, he was relieved of the military power and moved to the king of Chu. After being denounced for rebellion and demoted to Huaiyin Hou, Lv Hou colluded with Xiao He, the prime minister, and tricked him into Changle Palace on the pretext of Han Xin's rebellion, and he was beheaded in the bell room, killing his three families.

Han Xin is a representative figure of China's military thought of "seeking war", and he was praised by Xiao He as "the unparalleled national soldier". Liu Bang commented: "If you win the war, you must attack and take it. I am not as good as Han Xin." Han Xin is a representative figure of China's military thought of "seeking war", and is regarded as "soldier fairy" and "god of war" by later generations. Han Xin, the "princes and princes", is in full charge.

"The national scholar is unparalleled" and "the meritorious service is second to none, and he is slightly out of the world" are people's comments on it during the Chu and Han Dynasties. As a commander-in-chief, he led the army out of Chencang, settled the Sanqin, captured Wei, destroyed the generation, destroyed Zhao, lowered Yan, and cut Qi until he wiped out the Chu army, without any defeat, and the world dared not compete with it; As a military theorist, he and Zhang Liang compiled military books and wrote three articles on the art of war. 5. Who has a story about a girl pulling her pants? < P > Hello! Ha ha!

The following is indeed a true story. The hero in the article is my classmate.

It's hard to say her name. The last word of her name is "Yue". Just call her Yue Yue. She has gone to college now. In junior high school, she was the "flower of the class" and her academic performance was average.

One day, when she was in Grade Two, it should be regarded as her worst day. That day, she got up late in the morning. Because she was afraid of being late, she didn't eat or go to the toilet, so she drank a bottle of drink in a hurry and went to school.

The first class is math. After class, she kept writing to class, but she didn't go out. The second, third and fourth classes were all Chinese classes of the head teacher, but in the second class, the head teacher didn't come, and everyone was studying by themselves. Of course, many people started talking loudly, and the discipline was chaotic. As a result, she was caught by the leader of the school inspection. The leader arrested six students, four men and two women, who violated the discipline on the spot. Two girls are her deskmate, and she was caught talking at that time.

Then, the class teacher came back to know about it and called the six students to the office to criticize them. I didn't go to the toilet when I got up in the morning, and I didn't go to the first class. I wanted to go to the second class, but I was called to the office by the teacher and couldn't go. At this time, she felt a little overwhelmed, but there was no way but to endure. Besides, I have to be scolded by the teacher while enduring it.

The class teacher was very angry because it affected the school. He trained these six people until the third class. After class, the teacher told all six people to stand on the back wall of the classroom and punish them obediently. Yueyue feels even more unbearable now, and the urine keeps pouring out. After all, she didn't go to the toilet all morning. If she wasn't punished, she might ask the teacher to go to the toilet, but now she doesn't dare. You can only stand and hold back.

The other five people stood well, while she swayed from side to side, and then bent down slightly, trying to hold back the urine, but the feeling of urine not only did not decrease, but became stronger. The students sitting in the back row saw that she had been moving, but they didn't feel anything at first. Later, they probably found out that she could not help urinating. They were very sad when they saw that the ordinary "Ban Hua" was suffering now, but they couldn't save it.

She persevered desperately for more than 3 minutes. Her only hope is that the class teacher will think that the punishment time is enough to let them go back, so that she can apply for going to the toilet. But not only did the head teacher not pardon them early, but she was so uncomfortable and couldn't stand well, and she had already moved the head teacher. Of course, the head teacher didn't know the real reason for her wandering, and loudly reprimanded: "XX month, are you not standing well?"

She had reached the limit, and suddenly she was called by the head teacher. She was shocked, and her whole body shook. The urine that had reached the limit directly flowed down like a flood. I forgot to mention, it's probably May. Today, she is wearing a T-shirt, white tight trousers, light socks and sandals. She has a good figure, and the tight trousers are particularly sexy. But with this moment, her crotch bulged first, and then the urine poured out from the crotch and flowed out along her legs, and the color of her pants changed immediately. Because she endured it for a long time, the amount of urine was particularly large, and it took a long time to stop. In fact, she also wanted to stop the urine on the way, but where could she do it? Most of the pants are soaked, and many of them still flow on socks and feet and even on the floor of the classroom. The students sitting in the back row heard the sound, saw her pants and feet, and understood everything.

Later, in the fourth class, the class teacher finally let the six people who stood as penalty stand back to their seats. She silently lowered her head and quickly walked to the seat to sit down. In fact, she couldn't help crying when she peed, but she managed to hold back her tears and wiped them clean when she stood as penalty against the wall. Think that she is a strong girl. She never shed tears in front of her classmates when the teacher quarreled with her before, and this time, too. She sat there enduring wet pants and finished the last class. After school, she disappeared into the crowd without waiting for any classmates' greeting, but the water marks on the seat and behind the classroom and the appearance of her pants when she walked were discovered by many classmates.

ha ha!

Respondent: Be kind and beautiful, and follow benevolence and righteousness.