Which paragraphs are malicious paragraphs?

1. An FBI agent complained to the personnel department, claiming that he had been maliciously retaliated by his boss.

When asked about retaliatory measures, the agent said, "My boss sent me to China to find two informants."

The investigator said, "It's not too much."

The agent said angrily, "But the only clue he gave me was the names of those two people: Jianguo and Haitao."

2. Once I took the elevator with a beautiful woman, and a cool bearded foreigner was with me. That pretty girl kept talking, so I said, "Stop arguing and sell you to this foreigner."

The foreigner opened his mouth wide and his face lit up. He said in nonstandard Mandarin, "Really?"

There is a madhouse. One day, the dean wanted to see how many people had recovered. Ask the nurse to draw a door on the wall. I saw all the patients crashing into the wall crazily. The dean was disappointed. Suddenly he saw that only one patient was indifferent. The dean was very happy and ran to ask him, "don't you want to go out with them?" The patient replied, "these idiots, I have the key here!" " "

One day, a captain had a stomachache and was anxious to go to the toilet, but a recruit had already gone to the toilet.

The captain looked at the recruits viciously, hoping to scare them away, but the recruits were silent for a long time.

The captain was angry and said fiercely to the recruits, do you know what the most basic duty of the recruits is to meet their superiors?

The recruit replied trembling: be firm ... stick to your post.

One day, a group of soldiers, led by their officers, went on a mission. They came to a great river department. There are many recruits in this regiment. The colonel looked at the river in front of him and then at the soldiers. He really can't think of a suitable word to order the recruits to cross the river. When he was in distress, he suddenly had a brainwave. He ordered, "All of you are dismissed and meet on the other side of the river in two minutes!"

6. A military truck got stuck in a quagmire. Fortunately, a jeep came from behind and several officers jumped off the truck. They tried to push the truck out of the mire.

Oh, my God! One of the police officers gasped and said, your car is heavy enough. What's in it?

28 new recruits. The driver replied.

7. French soldiers stationed in the African desert received a reward order from their superiors: if they caught an Arab guerrilla, they would get 120 gold.

Michelle and Yuri began to search for prey in the desert. After several days of hard work, they fell asleep exhausted.

When Michelle woke up, she found that they had been killed by more than one hundred people.

When surrounded by Arab guerrillas with guns, he quickly woke Yuri up and said, get up, we are rich!

8. There is a warlord who likes watching Pingju very much. His most admired historical figure is Guan Gong.

One day, the great warlord was watching the Lost Street Pavilion (Guan Gong was one of the main figures). The adjutant suddenly came in to report the failure of the battle ahead to the guards.

The guard was furious and struck the table hard, and all the actors on the stage stood at attention. At this time, the guard immediately said: Guan Gong is at ease, and the others stand at attention.

9. When graduate students graduated, a girl and two boys in the class helped her move five boxes of things from the seventh floor to the first floor. Two tired boys almost died, and the aunt who looked at the building could not see the past. She said something that made me feel very sad. "My boyfriend doesn't want to use it, but other people's boyfriends use it hard. "

10. Once, because I had something to contact a classmate, but his number was not stored in my mobile phone, I sent a short message to another classmate who knew him very well, "Do you have XXX's phone number?"

Then I waited patiently for a reply. After 5 minutes, I finally received a reply. I couldn't wait to open the short message and wrote a "yes".

In desperation, I can only send a short message to this big brother again, "So, please tell me?" I waited another five minutes and received a reply. I can't wait to open it again, and the other two words are impressively written, "Good"!

1 1. Father: "Why are you so stupid? What a small pig! Ahem! Do you know what a pig is? " Son: "Yes, it's the son of a pig."

12. When the elephant put shit in the middle of the road, an ant happened to pass by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

13. Several students got up late on the day of the exam. They lied that the bus had a flat tire, so they missed the exam. The professor agreed to make-up exams and arrange them in different examination rooms. There is only one question in the test paper: "Which tire is flat?"

14. A young monk asked the abbot, "Master, can I smoke while I am chanting?" The abbot said angrily, "No!" Another young monk asked, "Master, can I recite the scriptures when I smoke?" Abbot: "Of course!" …

15. Thief A: "Count how much money you robbed today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

16. The biggest tragedy of myopia is that you can't see clearly when you cut your hair. After cutting, you put on your glasses and silently scolded the grass, and then calmly told the buddy who cut your hair that it was okay.

17. Zhu Bajie became a particularly handsome young man after getting the Buddhist scriptures. Then he went to the bar and had a drink with the young lady. After coming out, he said to the young lady, "Do you know? Do you know how many cigarettes I used to smoke I used to be a pig, you know? " The young lady looked at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Second brother, I'm Friar Sand!"

18. On New Year's Eve, Fangfang's father hangs New Year pictures. After he hung up the first one, let Fangfang see from behind whether the second one he hung up was the same as the first one. In order to get lucky, he told Fangfang: If I hang up high, you say you have money; If I die, you say you are healthy.

Hang up the picture, Fangfang looks the same, and reports: Dad, it's not healthy to be rich.