Experience of Reading The Weakness of Human Nature: Carnegie, the Father of Positive Energy

I'll give you an assumption: if you screw up something, there are two people present, and one person keeps accusing you of being stupid and can't make any constructive suggestions; Another person analyzed the current situation for you and made suggestions on how to handle things as well as possible. Who do you choose to help you?

It must be the second one! This is my first impression of the book "The Weakness of Human Nature".

The weakness of human nature is not a fierce accusation of people's inferiority, but a list of ways to deal with people at work for common problems. Even if you make a mistake, you should use persuasion to draw your own conclusions instead of simply telling you that you are wrong. It focuses on methods rather than preaching. This is one of the charms of human weakness.

The second advantage is that it can be called the earliest professional book dealing with people in modern times. All kinds of economic management books developed on the basis of it in the future must be called grandfathers. In addition, this grandparent is still the main body of the work: the views in it are not contradictory to today's environment, and it is still outdated. I have to say that it has stood the test of time, and the weakness of human nature is really an evergreen tree.

Dale Carnegie (1 888165438+1October 24th-195565438+1October1) is regarded as the greatest spiritual teacher and successful master in the 20th century, and is a modern adult education in the United States. Carnegie Training was established in 19 12 to teach people interpersonal communication and stress management skills. He published "The Weakness of Human Nature" on 1936, which has been regarded as one of the bibles of social skills by the western world for 70 years.

After reading this book, I have the following experiences:

After a hard day's work, the peasant woman came home. Throw a bundle of hay on the dinner table of all ages at home. Those people angrily asked her if she was crazy. She replied, "What's the matter? Now you know how to complain. I have been cooking for you men for 20 years, and I haven't heard a response. I thought eating grass was all the same to you. "

1, there is an example: someone asked the child of Chen Feng, the author of Thank you, willing to be my child: "What is your mother doing at home?" His child said, "My mother is a cleaner."

2, the relationship between friends and husbands is not very good, she has always been in charge of the baby. Husband occasionally takes the baby out to play, or gives 100 yuan. Eva was so happy that she didn't want it. And she paid more for the children, but she was ignored. When he spoke to us angrily, he called the baby "baiwenhang".

The cost of raising a daughter is the same as that of raising a son. Marrying into your house can only be like an animal. We are always used to their efforts, but forget that they also need to be praised and thanked. Dad met once in a while, but everyone praised him. Why?

Conclusion: Why do many women run away from home or divorce? Because I am not valued at home.

Second, "when fishing, fish only like to eat bugs, and they don't like strawberry jam and chocolate that we like to eat."

1, fish like to eat worms, and cows like to eat grass. So don't expect it to respond to your piano sound.

2. There is a joke. Two children are talking together. One asks, "Why are adults not picky about food?" The other replied, "They buy what they like, so they are not picky about food."

What you think is good may not be surprising to others. Just like Einstein, after winning the Nobel Prize, throwing medals into a drawer doesn't feel much more useful than a pipe.

3. When teaching children, you should also be persuasive. Don't just say "this won't work". Just like a fish likes to eat worms, if you insist on feeding it strawberries, it will definitely not eat them. For example, in the face of a picky eater, you should say, "If you don't eat well, you won't grow up. How can you become an athlete? " Yao Ming grew up eating well. If you want to grow as tall as him, you have to be delicious. "

4. If you are thirsty for talents or want to get close to someone, how can you catch him? Of course it wants it. For example, a reporter wanted to meet a chairman and was told that he only had five minutes. During the conversation, he learned that the chairman was worried about his son collecting stamps. So when I went back, I tore off all the valuable stamps from the letters from various countries in the newspaper and gave them to the chairman the next day. As a result, he not only got the information he wanted, but the chairman also introduced other elites to him, so that he could get more interviews and know more people.

Conclusion: "My honey is my poison; He is my grass, my treasure ",specific problems, specific treatment.

Third, "there is nothing new under the sun."

1, the source of the Bible. "What happened will happen again, and what has been done will be done again." It means: the ordinary world, those beautiful things are always there, just waiting for you to discover.

2. "The article is natural and occasionally won by a wonderful hand." For example, the article "Thank you, willing to be my child", which is widely circulated in friends circle, has just spread like a virus. In fact, parent-child theme is not a new topic, but we can still find a breakthrough here. In addition to the author's profound writing skills, the most important thing is sincere feelings from the heart-new bottles of old wine are still selling well.

In the eyes of different people, the world is different, depending on how you find it. For example, Newton was hit in the head by an apple and found that there was gravity inside; If I get hit hundreds of times, it won't be an epiphany. Pick it up, order it and eat it.

Conclusion: Discovering inequality from the ordinary is the cause of social progress.

Fourth, "stop nagging, the bright future of the family has been ruined by nagging women."

I don't agree with this view. From the perspective of women:

1, whose daughter is born vicious? Chattering? Every girl may have some problems, but their gentleness and understanding are exhausted by day-to-day indifference and neglect.

2. Why does the wife press hard? The sentence in the book: "He can only see his lover under the cover of guards." Q: If you have a lover, be a lover. Do you have a point? How would you feel if your wife did the same? Even Einstein said to his wife, "You know, most men are not monogamous." Why is it natural for men to do things recklessly, and women will suffer? Are they just nagging about nothing?

In this case, women usually have three lifestyles. (1), live as Mr Carnegie's nagging dissatisfied housewife; (2) Pretend to turn a blind eye and become a good wife and mother in the eyes of most people; (3) Leave him and make way for a new lover-he is still in the spring breeze, and you are a thing of the past.

Conclusion: Marriage is like drinking water. Have the bright future of the family been ruined by nagging women?

Fifth, "cognitive dissonance".

For example, what is "cognitive dissonance"? 1954, the leader of a cult organization in the United States publicly stated in the newspaper that the world would be destroyed on February 2 1. He spread the news to other cultists, and many people believed him. Some people even abandoned their families and children to follow him. He declared that true believers would be saved in the end and the spaceship would come back to pick them up. According to common sense, the end of the world will definitely not come, and these people will definitely be hit in the face. However, the final truth is that the so-called spaceship did not arrive on the last day. Instead of feeling cheated, these members have more confidence in cult leaders. What's going on here? It turned out that these credulous people gave a new explanation for the failure of prediction: they thought that aliens were satisfied with their beliefs, so they decided to give the earth people another chance.

When a person faces a new situation, sometimes the new cognition is inconsistent with the old cognition. In order to eliminate the discomfort caused by cognitive inconsistency, we will adjust ourselves. Many people tend to deny new cognition, which is called cognitive dissonance.

There is a book "Black Box Thinking", which mainly talks about how to deal with cognitive dissonance: When you disagree with others, stop and think: Does what the other person said make sense? If he is right, what should he do? It is often difficult to seriously consider other people's opinions. But this is what a rational person should do.

In the book "The Weakness of Human Nature", it is mainly the way to deal with other people's cognitive dissonance. For example, be persuasive and let the other party draw their own conclusions. Instead of just saying "You are wrong!" For example, the representative of an electrical appliance company sold several motors to a company. After a return visit three weeks later, the company said that the quality was unqualified because the motor was hot. The representative asked, "Can the motor run at a temperature not exceeding 72 degrees Fahrenheit?" The other party said yes. "So the room temperature is 75 degrees Fahrenheit, right?" The other party also said yes "The motor temperature is 72 degrees and the room temperature is 75 degrees, which adds up to 147 degrees. You put your hand in 147 degree water, and it's already burnt. Don't touch it with your hands. " The other side thinks: this is the truth. Finally, I bought several motors.

Another way is to "suppress first and then promote". When replacing criticism with guidance, first affirm the advantages of the other party and avoid being deadlocked from the beginning. Let the problem be understood by the other party in a relaxed atmosphere. It is a good method to use guidance instead of command.

Conclusion: Only by recognizing and avoiding "cognitive dissonance" can people make progress.

There is nothing new under the sun. Although the book The Weakness of Human Nature is an old book, its core ideas are still useful to us today. Although I have different views on some of his views, it is still a good book worth collecting, especially for the sales elites in the workplace.

I hope everyone can learn something. Goodbye.