On my wedding night, my mother-in-law forced me to wash my feet: The bride price was 100,000 yuan, and I would have to serve me from now on! what do I do?

Sometimes I have to lament that getting along with people is really complicated and takes too much energy. People often say that "the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water", but how can there be so many gentlemen in real life? Most people are just ordinary people, and when you get along with ordinary people, you have to consider too many things.

Most of the things they consider are their own interests. It does not involve my own interests, hello to me, hello to everyone. If their own interests are involved, they will immediately turn against others. So the older I get, the more I realize that I have very few real friends around me. Most of them are small groups gathered for profit.

In marriage, some family relationships are even more exhausting to deal with. The relationship between husband and wife has been subject to various temptations and blows since the day they got married. Everything as small as food, rice, oil and salt can make the relationship between husband and wife tense.

Not to mention some more difficult family relationships, the first of which is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Some people say that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies. This sentence actually makes sense if you think about it carefully. In so many families, there are very few mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law who have a harmonious relationship. More and more families will have conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It's just that some conflicts broke out, while others were just undercurrents.

I have mediated many conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law over the years. I have found that some conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are accumulated bit by bit because they have been getting along for a long time, while some conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have been buried since they first met. the source of the conflict.

Most of the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are caused by trivial matters in life. Some conflicts may be caused by the daughter-in-law buying a new dress and the mother-in-law feeling that the money is wasted; some may even be caused by the daughter-in-law eating more food at the dinner table, which will cause the mother-in-law to be dissatisfied.

These trivial things sometimes make people feel ridiculous, but they actually cause conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Later I discovered that these trivial matters were just an introduction. The only thing that really caused the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were "competing for favor" and fighting over who was the mistress of this small family.

Mother-in-law wants her daughter-in-law to understand that she has the final say in this family and her son will obey her, not to mention you, a new bride. Most daughter-in-laws believe that they have already established a small family with a man, and their mother-in-law has no control over them.

Conflict arose in this way, and the two people were destined to be incompatible from the beginning.

In fact, I think that in order to resolve the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both of them must first position themselves correctly. As the mother-in-law, she should learn to let go and not interfere too much in her son's marriage; and the daughter-in-law must also have her own Demonstrate your principles and bottom lines from the beginning, so that your mother-in-law can understand what should be done and what should not be done. Only in this way will the conflicts between the two people be reduced.

Lijuan got married not long ago. She has been posting wedding photos in her circle of friends, and her friends have sent blessings. Because her two-year love affair with her husband Wang Bin finally came to fruition, her family and friends were happy for them.

But not long after they got married, Lijuan came to me and said, "I want to get divorced."

I was shocked. How could she get divorced just a few days after getting married? Advise her not to be impulsive and to tell me what happened.

She cried and said: "I can't stand my unreasonable mother-in-law. I have never seen an old man like her!"

Lijuan told her story in detail After telling me, I was very surprised. I didn't expect that this would happen to her as a newly married woman.

Lijuan and Wang Bin were high school classmates, but they parted ways after graduating from high school. Lijuan chose to return to her hometown after finishing college, and happened to meet Wang Bin who also chose to return to her hometown.

Both of them were single at that time, and they were classmates, so they got closer on weekdays. As time went by, it was inevitable that they would fall in love with each other, so they got together.

Both of them were admitted as civil servants in their hometowns. They are not rich but very stable.

The two of them like to travel on weekdays, so when they have holidays, they go to surrounding cities.

Wang Bin has always wanted to marry Lijuan, but Lijuan felt that she was still young and not in a hurry to get married, so she never agreed. Wang Bin had no choice but to accommodate her.

In this way, the two people have been in love for more than two years. During this period, both parents urged the two of them to get married countless times, but Lijuan kept them away. In the end, Wang Bin's mother became unhappy and issued an ultimatum: If you don't marry my son, you two will break up immediately. Don't waste my son's youth playing around with you!

In desperation, Lijuan had no choice but to agree to get married. Only now did the two families sit down together to discuss the details of the marriage.

The two families are well-matched. According to local customs, the man can just buy a house, and the bride price and dowry will be discussed by both parties.

Lijuan saw other friends getting married, and the bride price was 50,000 or 80,000 yuan. Her vanity grew and she asked for a gift of 100,000 yuan.

Wang Bin’s family was a little unhappy. A hundred thousand betrothal gift was almost unheard of in the local area. Wang Bin's mother even refused. In her words, my son's conditions are no worse than yours, why should I spend so much money to marry you?

The two sides were very unhappy. Lijuan got angry and bit her to death. The bride price was 100,000 yuan, and she wouldn’t marry for anything less!

Wang Bin liked Lijuan very much and begged her several times but was rejected. Finally, Wang Bin begged his mother again, saying that he still had some money in his hand. If his mother added more, we would give her the betrothal gift.

The mother took out the money very reluctantly, but she already secretly hated Lijuan in her heart.

Lijuan was also happy when she received the 100,000 yuan gift. She posted a lot of posts on WeChat to show off, which greatly satisfied her vanity, and the wedding was held as usual.

On the wedding day, everyone was happy. Lijuan and Wang Bin were busy all day and returned to Wang Bin's house in the evening. Because the house has not been renovated yet, I will live with Wang Bin’s parents for the time being.

As soon as the two of them got home, they saw their mother-in-law sitting on the sofa, as if waiting for the two of them.

Lijuan said hello, and just as she was about to go back to the room, she was stopped by her mother-in-law. The mother-in-law said to her: "Daughter-in-law, you married my son today, and you will become a member of my family from now on. Today I will tell you about the rules of my family."

When Wang Bin saw his mother like this, he He quickly stopped him, but was glared back by his mother. The mother-in-law continued: "The rules in our family are very simple. A daughter-in-law must serve her husband well and be filial to her parents-in-law. In this way, today is the first day you come in. Practice it first, go get me foot-washing water, and wash my feet. "

When Lijuan heard this, she immediately became anxious: "What did you say? You asked me to wash your feet?"

The mother-in-law opened her eyes and said: "That's right. Let me tell you, you asked me for a gift of 100,000 yuan, and you must serve me from now on. Otherwise, are you worth 100,000 yuan?" Lijuan understood after hearing this, it turned out that her mother-in-law had always hated herself. Asking for a betrothal gift. But she also brought back all the betrothal gifts, just to make a scene. She was angry that her mother-in-law was making things difficult for her, and she started to have a big argument with her mother-in-law.

On their wedding night, my daughter-in-law had a big quarrel with her mother-in-law, and others would laugh at her if she told her. After that, her mother-in-law deliberately made things difficult for Lijuan when she had nothing to do. The conflict between the two continued to escalate. Lijuan couldn't bear it anymore and went back to her parents' home angrily.

In fact, in my opinion, both sides are wrong in this matter. If Lijuan hadn't been so vain and insisted on high betrothal gifts, her mother-in-law would not have been dissatisfied. And her mother-in-law actually chose to make things difficult for Lijuan on her wedding night, which was also wrong.

Sometimes, the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is so unexpected that it makes people feel ridiculous. But in the two people's minds, these are the other's faults.

The triggering of conflicts may be trivial, but the outbreak of conflicts is very difficult, and sometimes it can easily affect a marriage.

So when the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, they should keep a bowl of soup distance. Both parties must have a sense of boundaries and not take the other party's kindness to them for granted. Only in this way can we put ourselves in someone else's shoes and reduce the occurrence of conflicts.