Jokes of people who drink too much

Once upon a time, a stupid guy went to see a doctor.

"What's the matter with you?" asked the doctor.

"I have been broken!" , said the fool.

"What do you mean, broken capital?" The doctor was surprised.

Then, the fool pointed to his head and said, "Ouch! There is something wrong with my head. " After that, he pointed to his back and said, "Ouch, my back hurts." Then he touched his nose and said, "Ouch, my nose hurts" ...

The doctor thought for a moment and said, "There is something wrong with your finger."

Once upon a time, a fool went to see a doctor. The doctor asked him what was wrong. The fool said he was hurt all over. The doctor is confused. Then, the fool pointed to his head and said, "It hurts. I have a headache. " Then, someone pointed to his back and nose and said that he was injured.

The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Your finger hurts."

A man went to church and started talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "at once"

A man walks into a church and talks to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."

Four best friends met in the hospital because their wives were having a baby. The nurse came up to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you have twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men are like, "Well, strange, I'm the director of three musketeers." Finally, the nurse walked up to the third person and said

"Congratulations, you have twins x2." The man was very happy and said, "Ironically, I work for a hotel" for four seasons. "All three of them were happy until they saw their last partner jumping around, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work for 7-up!

Four good friends met in the hospital, and their wives were having a baby. The nurse came to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men like it very much: "Well, what a coincidence. I .. you got two pairs of twins. " The man said happily, "That's ridiculous. I work in the Four Seasons Hotel." All three of them were happy, but the fourth partner was as anxious as ants on hot bricks, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work in 7-up! "

Hehe, one is more efficient than the other.

Canadian Osama bin Laden and President Bush were walking in the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it, and an elf came out and said, "I will grant everyone one wish, three in all." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer, so I hope the soil in Canada will be fertile forever." The elf said a spell and his wish came true. Osama looked surprised, so he wanted to build a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said a spell and his wish came true again. President Bush said, "Tell me more about this wall, Genie," and the Genie said, "It is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a bridge ... full of water! ! !

Osama bin Laden, Canadians and President Bush were walking down the street and saw a golden lamp. They wiped the lamp and an elf appeared. The genie said, "I want to grant each of you one wish, three in all." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer, so I want to make the land in Canada fertile forever." The genie said a spell and his wish came true. Osama bin Laden was surprised when he saw it. He wants a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said a spell and his wish came true again. President Bush asked, "Genie, please tell me about this wall." The genie replied, "The wall is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing inside can get out and nothing outside can get in." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a bridge ... full of water! ! ! "

My child swallowed a bullet.

Young mother: "doctor, my baby swallowed a bullet." What should I do?

Doctor: "Don't let him point at anyone."

The young mother said, "doctor, my child swallowed a bullet." What should I do? "

The doctor said, "Don't let him point at anyone."

notes

1. Swallow a bullet.

Step 2 point: aim ...

allybaby

Once, two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down accidentally. He rolled his eyes and seemed to have stopped his fear. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and called the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First of all, you should make sure that he is dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone, and then he heard the hunter ask, "What should I do next?"

Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them accidentally fell down and his eyes turned white, as if he had stopped breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency number. The operator said calmly, "The first step is to make sure that your friend is dead." So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask, "What's the second step?"

Fool _ Fox

Title: I am the boss.

Content: The other day, the boss complained in our staff meeting that he didn't get any respect. Later that morning, he went to a local Kassar novel. I went to the store and bought a small sign that said "I am the boss". Then he put it on the door of the office. Later that day, when he came back from lunch, he found that someone had put a note on the sign, which read. "Your wife called, and she wants her brand back!"

Note: Staff meeting: Staff meeting.

A photo of his wife.

A businessman walked into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered a double martini with ice.

After drinking, he looked in his shirt pocket and ordered the bartender to prepare another double martini. After drinking that glass, he glanced at his shirt pocket again and told the bartender to bring another double martini.

The bartender said, "listen, man, I'll bring you martinis all night." But you have to tell me why you look in your shirt pocket before ordering a refill. "

The customer replied, "I'm peeking at my wife's photo." When she began to look good, I knew it was time to go home. "

Note: pubs and inns

Martini martini

peek/pi； Take a quick look.

English brain teaser: 1. Q: What fruit will never appear alone?

A pear.

Pear pear sounds like a couple.

2. Q: Why is the bride unhappy on the wedding day?

A: Because she didn't marry the best man.

Bride, groom and groomsman; Best man bridesmaid bridesmaid

3. Q: When must the hungry wolf eat the cashier?

A: 8 p.m.

8 p.m sounds like ate p.m, which is short for paymaster. Cashier (cashier who pays salary)

4. Q: What breaks as soon as you say it?

A: Silence.

break the ice

5. Q: What kind of clothes are the most durable?

A: Underwear, because it never wears out.

Worn out is worn out, worn out; Wear it outside

6. Q: Why are farmers cruel?

They pulled corn's ear.

Ears, ears; An ear (of corn)

Pull the ear of corn and break the corn ear by ear; Grab the ear of corn and break the corn.

7. Q: Why are babies like hinges?

A: Because they are something worthy of worship.

Adore likes it. It sounds like a door.

Things are delivered to the door

8. Q: If the driver drives too fast, he will get a ticket. If a poet

He writes too fast?

His license for poetry will be revoked.

Poetry license is abnormal (such as not following grammatical rules, etc.).

9. Q: Why are empty wallets always the same?

A: Nothing has changed.

Change change; change

10. Q: Why do the birds in the nest agree with each other?

A: Because if they don't, they will turn against each other.

Fell out; be picky

1 1. Q: Why is argument like a pen?

A: You can't do it without a focus.

Point sharp, top; Argument, viewpoint

12. Q: When will the wind improve the image?

When it turns over a new page.

Turn over a new leaf really means: turn over a new leaf.

13. Q: Why is learning English like a gentle breeze for a clever student?

It's easy for them.

A gentle breeze, a gentle breeze; A piece of cake

14. What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

What has four wheels and flies? Another understanding is: What has four wheels and many flies?

15. Q: If you run faster, what is more difficult to catch?

Your breath.

Take a breath and return to normal breathing, especially after strenuous exercise.

16. Q: When was a man chased by ten dogs?

A: It's one ten.

17. Q: How do you know that a clock is shy?

It covers its face with its hands.

18. Q: Why does time fly?

A: To get rid of those who tried to kill it.

Kill time. Kill time

19. Q: Why do invisible people go crazy easily?

A: Out of sight, out of mind.

Far from eye, far from heart.

20. Q: Where can a dog get another tail?

A: At the retail store.

The prefix means "once again" and "once again" again.

2 1. Q: Why do carpenters think there is no such thing as gold?

A: They have never seen it.

Saw saw is also the past tense of see. Seeing is believing.

22. Q: Why do you think doctors are mean?

Everything they do to me makes me pay.

Treat guests; treat cordially

Mean, mean

23. Q: What do you think of the Grand Canyon?

A: Only the canyon.

Gorges is the plural form of Gorge, which sounds gorgeous, pleasant, beautiful and beautiful.

That's great. You did a good job. How beautiful!

24. Q: How do you punctuate the following sentences?

A: Catch up.

Another understanding is: eager to get it.

25. Q: How do you know that a photographer always makes progress?

A: They are always developing.

Development; To develop (film)