Urgent! ! ! Seek stand-up comedy jokes (girls)

Xu: University life has passed like this.

Guo: Everyone will graduate one day.

Xu: You left too.

Guo: I stay away from crazy people.

Xu: I miss the feeling of your hair brushing my chest.

Guo: I will stab you to death.

Xu: I miss you so much that I can recite your kindness in the empty campus.

Guo: With your small physique.

X: I want to tell you more.

Guo: Say

X: I love you.

Guo: Brokeback Mountain?

X: I want to kiss you one last time.

Guo: Bring me a basin. I want to throw up.

X: What are you doing?

Guo: You are disgusting.

X: What I am doing is going back to a period of time.

Guo: Ah.

Xu: Make a memorial for youth.

Guo: Commemoration, the word sounds quite open. What do you admire?

Xu: My college life.

Guo: I went to college.

Xu: In memory of my regretless love in youth.

Guo: Talking is like reading a poem.

X: It's my first time to walk into a university campus.

Guo: I won't be allowed in.

X: That's me reporting for duty.

K: Oh, the first day.

Xu: I walked on the main road of the university campus for the first time, and I was very excited when I saw the banner coming towards me.

Guo: Oh.

X: I'm shaking with excitement.

Guo: It says welcome to new students?

X: Carry out rodent control campaign.

Guo: That's right. This is called putting righteousness above family interests.

Xu: You are a mouse.

Guo: This word doesn't sound close.

Xu: So my college life began.

K: Take your time.

Xu: When I was a freshman, I only had one idea.

Guo: Why?

X: Study.

Guo: Just attending classes.

X: My study is influenced by the boss of our dormitory.

Guo: Oh, the boss likes school very much?

Xu: Concentrate on academics.

Guo: There are still many good students.

X: I like studying very much.

Guo: This result is good.

Xu: So much so that his life is completely academic.

K: That would be great.

Xu: Once my eyes were bad, I went to the head hospital to see a doctor: doctor, my eyes, this light is projected on the object and then reflected on mine.

When the pupil is above, it always produces an equivalent image next to the object's body.

Guo: It's quite complicated.

Xu: And this image is not divorced from this ontology.

K: OK.

X: There is a cross phenomenon.

Guo: Hmm.

Xu: The doctor thought for a long time: Do you regard things as ghosts? Right, right, right, right.

Guo: If I were a doctor, I would call.

X: Doctors have strong generalization ability.

Guo: This is called generalization ability. That's what people in China say.

X: I am influenced by the boss of our dormitory.

Guo: I didn't know you sounded like him.

X: I am easy to learn.

Guo: Right, right, right.

X: I study in the morning, study in the afternoon, study at night, eat, sleep and dream.

Guo: Hey, look at him. This is a good result.

X: Not so good. Unfortunately, my interest shifted in my sophomore year.

Guo: Huh? When I was a sophomore, my interest shifted. What do you like?

X: Then freshman will be senior three.

Guo: Right, right.

Xu: Who else is eager to learn when he is a sophomore?

Guo: Oh, tell me about it. I haven't been to school either.

X: I like sports.

Guo: Hey, I'm in good health.

X: This is influenced by the second child in our dormitory.

Guo: The boss is his brother.

X: Hmm!

Guo: It's not easy for two brothers to run together.

X: He is from Beijing.

Guo: Oh.

X: Beijingers live on Ping 'an Street.

Guo: I know.

Xu: Do you know Beijing No.4 Middle School?

Guo: I know.

X: It's opposite the playground of Beijing No.4 Middle School.

Guo: I bought popsicles to eat at that door.

X: I live there.

K: OK.

Xu: He goes back to watch football every weekend.

Guo: Hmm.

Xu: He is a football fan. We are all fans in the room.

Guo: That's right.

But there is no TV in our dormitory.

Guo: Oh! Life in this dormitory is a bit bitter.

Xu: As soon as he came back, he told us about the ball, which made us greedy and uncomfortable.

Guo: That's right.

X: When I went back that day, I found him sitting in the dormitory, sitting with a big knife.

Guo: What?

Xu: I'm just saying: Oh, that central defender is great. He buttoned his left foot and turned his right foot, even passing two strikers!

Guo: Look.

Xu: Swish a kick to the midfield.

Guo: Hmm.

Xu: As soon as I heard it, what kind of ball is this? Serie a?

Guo: No.

X: Premier League?

Guo: Not necessarily.

X: There was no ball yesterday.

Guo: Just say it.

X: Listen quickly.

Guo: I heard that.

Xu: I'm still chatting there: Wow, the midfield is also strong. An oblique pass went straight, the avant-garde flattered him, kicked him hard and crossed the baseline.

Guo: Hmm!

Xu: Serve the corner ball directly. The corner kick is high and floating. The striker came and became the head.

Guo: Just score a goal.

X: No.

Guo: Why?

X: It was blocked by the goalkeeper.

Guo: Look.

X: It doesn't matter if it is sealed. Not far away.

Guo: Hmm.

X: It still falls at the feet of our striker. Someone buckles his left foot and right foot, which is kicking. It's a world wave.

Guo: My God, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, world wave?

X: World Wave.

K: Oh, please explain it to me.

Xu: Even people in the world can't kick such a beautiful arc, huh!

Guo: Oh, such a great ability.

X: The world wave means kicking and hitting the post.

Guo: What should I do? Then come back.

X: It's at his feet again.

Guo: Well, there is plenty of time.

X: Both the left ball and the right ball passed the goalkeeper.

Guo: Hmm.

Xu: Empty door!

Guo: Well, take a look.

X: Just lift the bicycle.

Guo: So much effort.

Xu: It's a pity that he didn't do it.

Guo: Why?

Alas, they stopped playing as soon as the bell rang.

Guo: Oh, junior high school students play football.

X: Anyway, I was greatly influenced by him.

Guo: Your forehead looks sweaty.

X: I call in the morning, in the afternoon and at night.

Guo: That's health.

X: No, my interest changed again in my junior year.

Guo: Oh, it turned again. What do you like this time?

Xu: Junior year, my love seed.

Guo: I know, I'm beginning to like men.

X: Is it more like it? Huh? Are you starting to like men?

Guo: I came to Seeds of Love when I was a junior. If you want to change your mind, I believe you.

X: Then I used to like women.

Guo: Later, I fell in love with men.

X: No, I used to like women.

Guo: I like men now.

Xu: Will you stop lying to me? I used to like women, but I never pursued them.

Guo: Hmm.

Xu: In my junior year, I dared to pursue my female classmates.

Guo: How big is this?

Xu: Influenced by the third classmate in our dormitory.

Guo: Oh, the second child is his younger brother.

Xu: Why are they all brothers?

Guo: It is not easy for the eldest brother, the second child and the third child to get into the exam together.

X: We live in the same dormitory.

K: Oh, I see.

Xu: They are all dry brothers.

Guo: Look, there is no water at all.

X: Love.

Guo: I'd rather rest than show my face all the time.

Xu: Let's fall in love, lover. He was twenty-one that year and was dumped by twenty-eight women.

Guo: This is better than me. I made ten yellow ones and made more than twenty that year.

X: He is very experienced.

Guo: Learn from others.

X: That's right. I fell in love with a girl in the Chinese department.

Guo: How old are you?

X: Very beautiful.

Guo: Beautiful.

X: He is in his twenties.

Guo: Look.

But I dare not talk to her.

Guo: You should be brave.

X: My third brother taught me at that time.

Guo: What did you say?

X: You have less experience in this field than I do.

Guo: Hey, learn from others.

Xu: You have to strike up a conversation with girls, understand? accost sb

Guo: Yes, translated into Chinese, it's called hooking up.

X: That's what it means anyway.

Guo: Hmm.

Xu: How can you ask someone you don't know?

Guo: Find words.

Xu: Learn from me.

Guo: Learn from him.

X: She is in the front and you are in the back.

Guo: That's right.

You see, when no one is around.

Guo: Hmm.

X: If you are looking for something, you have nothing on you. Pick up something from the ground and ask her: Did you drop it, classmate?

Guo: This is one way.

X: Don't you know each other?

Guo: Good idea.

X: Good idea.

Guo: Hmm.

X: I met her by the side.

Guo: Let's go.

X: She's walking ahead.

Guo: Hmm.

X: I'll follow.

Guo: That's right.

Xu: I said to myself: Calm down.

Guo: Calm down.

Xu: Courage, show courage!

Guo: Take it out more.

Xu: Take courage! I patted her on the shoulder: classmate, did you drop this brick?

Guo: Stop it, there is nothing else to pick up on the ground!

Xu: She grabbed the brick and hit me.

Guo: Yes, this student later became a monk, named Lu, and she also hit a classmate named Zhen Guanxi.

X: I haven't heard of it. These girls are like this now. They are tough and savage girlfriends.

K: Oh, good. This method is quite ingenious.

Xu: Very clever. Although I didn't succeed this time, since then, I have started hitting on girls all over the campus.

Guo: Tell us about this hook-up scene.

Xu: Classmate, did you drop this spade?

Guo: This is an undergraduate, majoring in shoveling. Yes, shoot him.

Xu: Classmate, did you drop this table?

Guo: The pocket is too small to hold. Yeah, shoot him.

Xu: Classmate, did you drop this isolation pier?

Guo: Don't you have the strength to lift it? Yes, just write directly on the tablet.

X: I'm not discouraged!

Guo: Yes, you are all dead! You go to the construction site to find someone! Isolation pier, did you fall this building? Hmm?

X: I was defeated by many of them.

Guo: It's a pity that no one will play.

But I am not discouraged.

Guo: This is called asking questions without shame!

Xu: Last time I took a fancy to another beauty in the chemistry lab.

Guo: He's in the chemistry lab, and he's not idle.

Xu: She was in front, so I picked up a test tube on the table: classmate!

Guo: Talk.

X: Nothing.

Guo: Why?

Xu: photo

Guo: Wow! Don't walk behind her next time. If you walk in front of her, you won't just walk the dog.

X: It won't happen again. That's it next time.

Guo: What kind?

Xu: classmate ~ ~

Guo: That's sulfuric acid splashing on your face ~ ~

Xu: You dropped this paper money ~ ~ ~

Guo: I said haunted! ! Aqua regia is so powerful that it is said that even gold can be melted.

X: Until my senior year.

Guo: I'm a senior.

Xu: I am still singing my single love song, walking on the campus without love, and stubbornly thinking that I am a treasure.

Guo: How can it be a treasure?

Xu: Are you a senior or a virgin, not a baby?

Guo: Yes, yes, it's much more difficult than finding dinosaurs.

Xu: My senior three is coming to an end.

Guo: I will graduate soon.

X: It's almost time to get credit.

Guo: That's right.

X: No one has a job.

Guo: Yo.