Lines from the script of the campus comedy sketch "Class"

The script lines of the campus comedy sketch "Class" are as follows:

Teacher: You said that this school finally has a holiday. As a people's teacher, I originally wanted to go home and have a good rest. This school It’s not like I was asked to give extra lessons to a bunch of kids. Speaking of my naughty kid, let alone how troublesome it is, I feel like there is something wrong with his brain, eh, no, where is my naughty kid?

Student: Report!

Teacher: You, what have you been doing?

Student: Teacher, I had an operation today.

Teacher: What kind of surgery?

Student: Body cutting surgery for useless human tissue.

Teacher: What?

Student: Body cutting surgery for useless human tissue.

Teacher: Please speak to me!

Student: I went to get a haircut.

Teacher: I am not talking about you. You are a very poor child. You can come and leave when you want. Do you think the school is your home?

Student: Teacher, I think you are too fickle in your words. Every time you do the cleaning, you always say that you want to clean the school like home.

Teacher: Well, isn’t that the time for general cleaning?

Teacher: Tell yourself, how many times were you late this Monday?

Student: four times.

Teacher: What day is it today?

Students: Thursday.

Teacher: I’m so angry!

Student: Teacher, there is a reason why I was late two days ago.

Teacher: What’s the reason?

Student: I went out to do good deeds two days ago. I saw that the smog was very heavy the past two days, so I wanted to sell masks and donate the money from selling masks to those orphanages.

Teacher: This is a good thing. How many pairs have been sold?

Student: I didn’t sell any of them because the smog was so heavy that they couldn’t even see my stall.

Teacher: You are too poor. Sit down and let me tell you, you are here to celebrate the Chinese New Year and cannot go home. The school has decided to give you separate tutoring lessons. The fifteenth day of the first lunar month.

Student: Teacher, what about the sixteenth day of the first lunar month?

Teacher: School has started on the 16th day of the first lunar month.

Student: YEAH!

Teacher: What is this kid doing? (rushes to the audience).

Student: Finally someone is with me in class.

Teacher: Okay, okay, let’s go to class!

Student: Stand up, hello teacher!

Teacher: Why are you shouting for yourself to stand up!

Student: Teacher, this is the Chinese New Year, and there are no other classmates in our class.

Teacher: Today, the first thing we review is the "Geographical Knowledge" we learned in the last class.

First of all, the first question, what is the highest peak in the world?

Student: Erlangshan.

Teacher: Nonsense, what did the teacher teach you? The highest peak should be Mount Everest, which is 8848 meters high.

Student: Teacher, I think you are not rigorous enough in your approach to knowledge.

Teacher: Why are you not rigorous?

Student: Erlang Mountain is so high.

Teacher: Nonsense.

Student: The song sings very clearly, "Erye Erlang Mountain, hehe, so high, so high." Hehe, how many meters is one foot? What about ten thousand feet?

Teacher: Sit down and listen to the next question. In some small European countries, why do their cars drive on the right?

Student: Teacher, I know this. Bodhisattva bless you.

Teacher: No, what?

Student: Bodhisattva bless you.

Teacher: What is Bodhisattva’s blessing?

Student: Because the Bodhisattva only protects the car going to the right, we call the Bodhisattva to protect the "right". The Bodhisattva protects the right.

Teacher: You are all superstitious. The next question is, what are the five continents and the four oceans?

Students: The five continents include rice porridge, millet porridge, red rice porridge, and mung bean porridge; the four oceans include sheep, sheep, um, um, xiyangyang, beautiful sheep, and warm

Yangyang, Red Wolf, Big Gray Wolf (look at the teacher)

(Teacher and students sing together) Although I am just a sheep, the sheep are so smart that it is unimaginable, and the flowers become more fragrant for me. Chase the sun every day. (Continues to sing) Joyful, beautiful.

Teacher: Sit back! Let me tell you, you know how to watch cartoons every day.

Student: Teacher, the lyrics you sing are more familiar than ours.

Short sketch creation

Go deep into life, get close to life, experience life, and find inspiration from life. Use an artistic eye to discover and explore themes. For example, Huang Hong and Song Dandan's sketch "Supernatural Guerrilla", Zhao Lirong and Gong Hanlin's sketch "Packaged Like This", etc., are all trivial things that are well known to ordinary people discovered in life. Through their vivid performances, they make the audience laugh and remember. endless.

The subject matter should be small rather than big. It should be "making a mountain out of a molehill" rather than "making a mountain out of a molehill". Avoid being all-encompassing and "high-end". It is best for a sketch to reflect only one thing, or only one aspect of one thing. The subject matter with rich connotations and sufficient reasoning is a matter for TV series or novels, and should not be confused with them.

There should be jokes and "baggage", the language should be lively, humorous, and witty, and do not speak with a straight face. The most valuable thing about a sketch is its vivid and interesting language and its witty lines. Use various rhetorical techniques skillfully and avoid straightforward statements. Sometimes a "borrowed" phrase can make the audience laugh.

For example, Song Dandan’s “A white front tooth was laid off gloriously last year”, and Zhao Benshan’s “The sound of the waves was still the same later” when he talked about reconciling with his wife, are all superb borrowed language. example.