The most humorous sentences are suitable for humorous sentences with signatures.

1. Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, and all the way sparks and lightning.

Nobody loves you with your hands in your pockets.

3. Time is too thin and fingers are too wide.

There are countless cages of time, but the most difficult thing to get out of is our inner cage.

5. Life is like breathing. Breathing is for breathing, and breathing is for breathing.

6. If you don't give yourself trouble, others will never give you trouble. Because in your own heart, you can't let go.

7. Only by knowing yourself, surrendering yourself and changing yourself can we change others.

8. Life can be played properly, but dance academy can't.

9. What people want to see is not you at the starting line, but you at the finish line.

10. People hate lies, and sometimes they are willing to fall into lies made up by themselves or others.

1 1. People's desires are like kites. We should not only drive it, but also control it.

12. The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

13. I can't play chess or draw, so I'm tired of washing and cooking.

14. I am afraid that my father is filial piety and my wife is love.

15. Women are not decent, and decent is because they are not attractive enough; Men don't care about loyalty. Loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.

16. The headwind direction is more suitable for flying. I'm not afraid of 10 thousand people blocking me, but I'm afraid of surrendering myself.

17. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

18. You should always thank all beings who have given you adversity.

19. You should always forgive all beings, no matter how bad they are, even if they hurt you, you have to let go to get real happiness.

20. You should always accept your fate, because you are human.

2 1. If you put it down, there will be no worries.

22. If you see the faults and right and wrong of all beings every day, you should repent immediately. This is an exercise.

23. You can have love, but don't be persistent, because separation is inevitable.

24. If you are angry for one minute, you will lose 60 seconds of happiness.

25. Strangeness prevents you from understanding strange things, and familiarity prevents you from understanding familiar things.

Humorous sentences suitable for signature

1. Fame cannot be pursued, but can only be possessed naturally.

The left brain is full of water and the right brain is full of flour. Just move, everything is burnt.

As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

4. Can't afford to sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!

5. If you want to mix in the Jianghu, you'd better be single!

6. The new car doesn't matter, but there are new people!

7. Modern people's living conditions: attend today's class, sleep yesterday's sleep and spend tomorrow's money.

8. Flowers often don't belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

9. I'm stupid and I'm happy. I'm two years old and I'm healthy.

10. I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't tell you as much as you like.

1 1. How much sorrow can you have, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

12. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of death.

13. Life grinds us around and makes us roll further.

14. In class, anonymous sent a note. When I saw the content, I really wanted to beat him up. It said: Are you there?

15. Go to the supermarket to knead instant noodles when you are in a bad mood.

Super funny classic qq personalized signature

1. If you use it skillfully, it's none of my business and none of your business, you can save 80% of your life.

There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

You are short-lived, and my fatness is temporary.

Life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.

5. The more you learn, the thicker you get, and the fatter you sit!

6. Mathematics is fire, lighting the lamp of physics; Physics is a lamp that illuminates the road of chemistry; Chemistry is the road, leading to the pit of biology; Biology is a pit where people who study science are buried.

7. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

9. See you soon after graduation; Have a wife a year after graduation; Later I regretted having a wife; Later, there was a stepmother; I regret having a stepwife the most.

10. Salary is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

Related sentences with humorous signatures:

Humorous sentences 202 1 the most humorous sentences

The Best Humorous Sentence in 20xx Years

1. Let me count, the temperature will not be high tomorrow.

2. Hard life needs no explanation.

3. A man as strong as an iron tower has never been beaten, scolded, touched or even talked by his thin daughter-in-law. Whenever I am angry, I go to the railway station and deliberately expose my money to the outside for thieves to steal. Beating a thief is a tragedy! Over time, all the thieves in the railway station knew. When he came, he said that this grandson was angry at home, and Nima came out to find someone to vent it on!

After visiting the supermarket, she saw an old lady spending RMB, so she took it out and handed it to the cashier. The cashier looked at your drawer and found no change, so she asked her aunt, do you have it? The old lady smiled from ear to ear and happily replied that it was not bad. I have many sons.

At the beginning of school, the new teacher pushed the door and came in, slapped us on the podium, looked at us coldly and said, I told you, I never talk about justice. The atmosphere in the class suddenly became a bit dignified. After a while, his expression changed and he said that I taught geography.

6. It's not that many men in China don't like dressing up. They are just a little biased in aesthetics and confident in honey. For example. The same is trying on clothes. My mother will ask me if it looks good, I will say it doesn't, and my mother will go back for a change until we are both satisfied. My dad asked me, do I look good? I said I didn't look good. He said you didn't know anything, and then he went out.

7. Yesterday, my then-old niece cried to me on QQ. Last night, she broke up with her ex who had been in contact for three weeks. She was very painful and advised my aunt that love hurts! I also sighed and asked what the world was like, teaching people to live and die together! It is a wise decision to say that 18 years old has never been in love.

8. After the athletes from all countries arrived at the Rio Olympic Village, delegations from other countries made preparations to prevent things from being lost, and only the DPRK delegation was the mobilization and staff for preventing things from being lost.

9. I met my roommate when I came home from work today, and found that he smelled exactly like his girlfriend. The scum lying in the trough really paid a lot of money to seduce Lao Zi.

10. The recent weather, lying in bed, braising in soy sauce; Exaggerated mat, teppanyaki; After getting up, steam; Go out to cook; Swimming, boiling; On the way back, it blew up; Go into the house and go back to the pot. Today and tomorrow, when you go out, you should pay attention to flanging, pay attention to the heat, bring cumin and Chili powder, and don't burn it. We are streaking, we bring salt for ourselves!

The funniest sentence in 20xx years.

1. I have nothing to do in the afternoon I was surfing the Internet in front of the accounting office, and I overheard two women chatting inside. A word from an ordinary gentle woman amused me. My man is really difficult to serve. He thinks my breasts are big in the daytime and small at night. When I get old, I will inflate!

2. Discuss with classmates in the school summer vacation, which homework you do, which homework I do, and then copy it! Follow the plan. As a result, my classmates copied my summer homework and sent it back a week later, saying that your summer homework and what you did were in a mess. I changed it for five days, and I was relieved after copying it.

As a member of the system, my predecessors told me not to offend two kinds of female colleagues. One is very beautiful, with a powerful michel platini behind it; One is ugly, with a powerful father behind him.

When Bei Piao returned to his hometown after many years, his mother came out of the kitchen slowly, holding a pot of tea in her hand, and told him with concern that she was tired from walking, so hurry up and drink. This is the tea made by mother. His face turned red, and he cocked his blue finger and picked up the cup.

5. News Tutorial An old lady fell on the road and broke her teeth. How did the reporter report it? Hong Kong press conference will ask whether there are hidden dangers in municipal road construction! Taiwan Province reporter will follow up medical insurance. Who will pay for the filling? The American press conference pays attention to how the marginalized elderly in the elderly society live. In Chinese mainland, it is said that "one person loses his teeth and everyone helps", "The road is ruthless and people have feelings" and "The old man can't lose his teeth?" 》

My husband has a pockmarked birthmark on his ass. One day, I chatted with my girlfriend and said that everyone on the Internet was discussing that if someone was injured and died in a previous life, the injured place would become a birthmark in this life. The boudoir blurted out that your husband was stabbed to death by cactus in his last life. Haha, boudoir is so humorous! Wait! How do you know what birthmark my husband has on his ass? !

I was depressed the other day. Tell my friend who is studying medicine that I want to commit suicide. Hand strokes indicate that the knife cut the wrist. My friend who studied medicine said that I didn't cut it like this. It can only be a skin injury, not fatal. Speaking of excitement, he drew me a starting point with a pen.

8. I will study hard in July, make progress every day, and never play mobile phones or fall in love again. If not, I'll send it in August.

9. While I was eating, the power was cut off. I quickly ate two mouthfuls of rice, and suddenly the light came on. I exclaimed, is this the legendary lesbian?

10. Walking alone at night, it's particularly dark around, and I'm handsome and afraid that others won't see me.

1 1. I want to go to the movies with my boyfriend recently. Please recommend me. Do you have a good boyfriend?

12. If God closes a door for me, please close the window conveniently. Dad is going to turn on the air conditioner.

13. Is League of Legends important or me? I dare to play League of Legends, not you. Who do you think is important?

The most humorous sentences recommended articles in 20xx years.

1. Since the final exam, my status at home has changed from a first-class protected animal to a wild animal, and my baby is in pain.

2. You can't be friends with people with less eyebrows. Take a photo to prevent whitening, because once her eyebrows turn white, they will disappear.

3. Once upon a time, two hedgehogs fell in love, and finally they went to the barber shop hand in hand to make two voles.

My roommate keeps a cactus. I accidentally knocked it over today. I quickly reached out and grabbed it back. I didn't say anything. It's so brave.

If you think I have any problems, please tell me. I won't change it anyway. Don't hide your illness.

6. If you are kind to others, I will have the impulse to strangle you instantly.

7. The exam is coming, which can be divided into two types: I took the exam and I took the exam. After the exam, there are also two types of people. I finished the exam. It's up to me. It's over.

8. Every time the aunt in the canteen hears the class is over, she will tell herself that the enemy still has a few seconds to reach the battlefield.

9. I eat quietly, just like I am quietly fat. I went to bed late, but I brought a whole body of fat.

10. Feeling ugly must be sick! Why else is the plastic surgery hospital called a hospital?

1 1. The boy at that station was very handsome, so I went forward and grabbed his potato chips and ran away.

12. There used to be a hide-and-seek company, but the boss hasn't found it yet.

13. Go and meet the person you want to see. When the sun is shining. When the breeze is calm. Before the flowers bloom.

14. Every time I walk in the street, I will see an ugly man holding a beautiful girl.

15. Every girl wants to have a plum, but unfortunately not everyone can become Qingchuan.

16. Why do you look like a joke?

17. Do you dare to take it off? I told you it was chocolate.

18. It's not people who are mean, but feelings.

19. Life is like toilet paper, so talk as little as possible.

20. When playing computer, my parents are watching, and I usually refresh my desktop. Don't order QQ if you have news, and listen to music calmly.

2 1. Dark-skinned comrades are invisible at night.

22. What did we do in childhood? You remember.

The most interesting sentence about the most interesting sentence.

A selection of the most humorous sentences.

1) The reason for constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

2) I don't know whether I went to college or the college fucked me.

3) Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied.

4) Pain is an enjoyment that only sober people can enjoy.

5) Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

6) University is learning!

7) I have a left Qinglong, a right White Tiger and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

8) Other people's money and wealth are things other than me.

9) I can't afford to sleep for a long time in the morning; Sleep at night!

10) I'm really busy recently, and it's hard to sleep for an hour a day!

A collection of the most humorous sentences.

1) Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except shit.

2) The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him: Sorry, buddy, you are blocking my cell phone signal.

3) As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

4) There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

5) Why do you need to sleep for a long time to live? You will fall asleep after death.

6) I want to puppy love, but it's already late.

7) Rats never waste time at night, while we humans waste one-third of our time every day.

8) Deliberately study, work, live and live like individuals!

9) Put down the shelf of your college students and find a bowl of rice to eat first!

10) Two dung beetles are discussing the welfare lottery. A said: If I win the lottery, I will buy all the toilets in Fiona Fang and eat enough every day! B said: you are too vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day!

1 1) I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

12) Life is so fucking fun, because life always fucking plays with me.

13) when a man says inner beauty, he means inner, not inner.

14) If you have a pair of wings, you should be braised.

15) What's the use of being handsome? Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank?

16) It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years!

17) when arguing with others, take a step back and broaden your horizons; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

18) I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked for too many years as a chef!

19) looking at a beautiful MM, but there is no way to strike up a conversation. Pick up a brick by the roadside and step forward. Classmate, did you drop this?

20) It was dark at night and I suddenly wanted to study, but it was already dawn when I found the candle.

2 1) People who hang up on QQ all day these days have nothing to do but go to work, that is, people who are not loved after work.

22) From heaven to hell, I pass by!

23) On the way to becoming awesome, I am running all the way!

24) There is always time and opportunity to do things, and there is always an excuse not to do things.

25) I not only have a car, but also work by myself.

26) Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind.

27) I struggled to climb to the top of the ladder, only to find that I climbed the wrong wall.

28) Facing the crowd in front of me, I have to go through and be smart. I know you're watching. It's fake.

29) Peacock tried to open the screen, but it showed its asshole!

30) I try my best to close myself, just like a stone I hold tightly, in order to throw it further!

3 1) I ran hard, but I couldn't get rid of the sadness that followed.

32) The higher you fly, the smaller you are in the eyes of people who can't fly.

33) Some things are beyond our control, so we should control ourselves.

34) My brother's previous love life was also quite chaotic.

35) I spent 10,000 yuan on a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously: Where is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!

36) Fish said: I always open my eyes to leave your side. Water said: I have been flowing tirelessly all day, trying to surround you and hold you tightly. The pot said: it's almost cooked, and there's still so much nonsense.

37) I have never been an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

38) I want to let the world know that I am very low-key!

39) Unload the baggage that cannot be unloaded, no way back; Endless tears, chasing an untraceable future

40) Fireworks blooming at the same time in the night sky can see each other's beautiful moments, but I can't light up your life.

202 1 The most humorous sentence in humorous short sentences

The Best Humorous Sentence in 20xx Years

1. I'm in a bad mood now, and I can't do anything but eat.

If the exam can be upgraded, I'm afraid I'll still get a negative score.

Tucked in every night, it feels like being buried underground.

Everyone thought I was meditating, but in fact I was looking to see if I should pick up a hair on the ground.

Life is too short to be sexy or understand the hard life.

6. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

7. I came quietly, walked quietly, waved a dagger, and left no one alive.

8. Life is really interesting because life is always playing with me.

9. I only trust two people in the world, one is me and the other is not you.

10. Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus

1 1. Take off your clothes, I am an animal. Get dressed. I'm the devil wears Prada!

12. Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!

13. God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it, so the world was dark.

14. Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

15. You fish and people eat you.

The funniest sentence in 20xx years.

1. No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

Men have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

3. It is better to learn Chinese for one year than to talk about QQ for half a year.

If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.

5. Teacher, just follow the old lady! It's been a long time, teacher, please spare the old woman!

6. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

7. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

8. We can avoid everyone, but we can't avoid a fly. What makes us unhappy in life is often trivial things.

9. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love.

10. Women have countless QQ numbers just to flirt with a man. Men often use a QQ number to fill in all kinds of women.

1 1. The unfairness of this world lies in God's saying that I want light! So there was this day. Beauty said I want a diamond ring! So she bought a diamond ring. Rich people say I want women! So he had a woman. I said I want to take a shower! I can't believe the water stopped.

12. If the telephone bill is overdrawn by 10,000 yuan, it will be sentenced to life, and if the person is killed, it will be sentenced to several years; Atm malicious withdrawal is sentenced to life, and corruption is sentenced to tens of millions of years. celebrity quote

13. Never say forever. Who can promise the future? All we can grasp is the local feelings at that time. But life is made up of countless now, and every moment is forever.

14. If you ask your friends around you, if nine out of ten people say they don't know, then this is an opportunity. If ten people and nine people know it, it is an industry.

15. Deal with people, listen more and talk less. That's why God gave us a mouth and two ears.

16. Mengpo soup is delicious. How does it taste? forget

17. I heard that you had a natural birth, son. Is it rebellion if you don't do this?

The most humorous sentences recommended articles in 20xx years.

1. Please get together and leave the earth smoothly. Thank you.

Comrade Lei Feng must be all thumbs, otherwise he will always be found out if he doesn't do good deeds.

Why is there a moon on Bao Qingtian's forehead? Because he doesn't understand the darkness of his grandfather during the day.

You told me to go out, I went out, and you told me to come back. I'm sorry I'm stuck.

I am the most trustworthy person, and I won't pay you back until I pay you back.

6. I have been running in the field of hope, and it is inevitable that I will not trip over the stone of disappointment.

7. Don't challenge my patience with your temper, or you will die beautifully.

It's not wrong for you to look like this, it's just a crime.

9. You are invisible. You can't help talking to me. Your spirit is worth learning.

10. A cheating man is like money in shit. It's a pity that they don't answer.

1 1. Jealousy is a knife, either inserted in others or in yourself.

12. Love usually means abandoning a fool and asking for a liar.

13. I like you, but you like her. I am a big joke.

14. Life is like an angry bird. When you make a mistake, there are always several pigs laughing.

15. Why did you die so fast? Tell me who you fired.

16. Swearing is not necessarily a good person. Some people pretend to be a gentleman with a bad stomach.

17. Looking back and smiling, chickens fly and dogs jump; You stand smart and smelly.

18. Your IQ is in arrears. Please talk to me after charging.

19. What's the use of being handsome? Can he use it as a credit card in the bank?

20. What's the use of good character? Can I eat it on the table?

2 1. What is love, cheating; What is gentleness and meanness?