Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who do I spend the day with?
Who do I spend the day with?
Who am I with today? I woke up in the morning and found that the Monkey King came into my room with a whoosh from the window.
As soon as I saw him, I smiled happily and asked, "Where are you from? Can you fly? " ? You ... "Sun Shengda answered all my questions in a short time. He also said: You like me so much that I will accept you as an apprentice. I suddenly became happy. At this time, the gauntlet came from the Heavenly Palace. Master had no choice but to give me a golden hoop and we flew to the sky together.
As soon as I saw thousands of troops waiting for my master, I really wanted to go up and fight with them, but my master stopped me. In this way, we stood for four hours without fighting, and I was almost exhausted on the cloud.
Finally, the war broke out, only to see the Tathagata slap down and kill him. He led his master to the door. Huh? Why are there no guards? No! At this moment, a shadow came along, ah! I thought it was someone! It turned out to be white! I read a book which said that I fell in love with the Tang Priest at first sight, and my master the Monkey King killed her with several moves. We flew quickly into the hall of the Jade Emperor. Just as we were making the final blow, I heard someone calling me, but I looked around carefully and there was nothing!
What? I had a dream, and I thought it was true. My mother also said that I danced and talked a lot in my sleep!
Who am I with today? The annoying alarm clock went off. Reluctantly, I climbed out of bed and turned off the alarm clock. "Today is my birthday. Why did my parents set the alarm clock so early and wouldn't let me sleep more! " I walked to the living room while talking to myself. Unexpectedly, a figure stood in the living room! Elastic superwoman! I looked at her in surprise and couldn't speak. She smiled at me and said, "Today is your birthday. Your parents can't accompany you. Would you please entrust me to accompany you to the amusement park for a day? " "God, that's great!" I am dancing with excitement.
But when we walked out of the house, I was worried. The road is crowded like a pot of porridge, so blocked, when can we get to the amusement park? Elastic superwoman read my mind and said, "Don't worry, watch me!" " "I saw the elastic super girl instantly turn into the shape of an airplane in front of me and said to me," Come on up, let's fly there. "I was pleasantly surprised and got up.
We flew to the destination-amusement park, and I went straight to my favorite roller coaster, only to see the entrance surrounded by water. Suddenly, I heard an anxious cry from a mother: "Come back, baby, don't run around!" " "It turned out that a child left his mother and ran to another amusement area. The child was washed away in an instant. At this time, the elastic super girl stretched herself very high first and soon saw the lost children. Then she stretched her arm to more than ten meters long and took the lost child back to her mother. Suddenly, the audience cheered.
Then, Elastic Woman accompanied me to play some of my favorite projects, and the happy and exciting day seemed to end in a blink of an eye. Elastic super girl said goodbye to me: "I hope to see you again next year!" " "I can't tell whether this is a dream or reality. All I know is that there is a great disappointment in my heart …
Who am I with today? It's sunny today, and there are no clouds in Wan Li. I climbed the mountain with the Monkey King.
Early in the morning, the Monkey King and I came to the foot of the mountain, surrounded by dense flowers and trees. Without hesitation, the Monkey King took out his golden cudgel, waved his hand and opened a straight road. We came halfway up the mountain along the road, and it was close to noon. The sun is shining and the weather is very hot. I said to the Monkey King, "Wukong, are you hot?" The Monkey King seems to have read my mind. He had a brainwave and threw a golden hoop. A cool spring water flowed out from the opposite cave, forming a spectacular waterfall, and a big pool was formed under the waterfall.
I said excitedly, "You are amazing!" Wukong said, "Let's play together." He shouted a somersault cloud, and we stood on the somersault cloud, and with a whoosh, we reached the big pool under the waterfall. It's really hot, I can't wait to jump down and cool off! I am jumping, kicking and swimming happily in the pool.
In the evening, the sunset clouds put a gorgeous coat on the horizon. Oh, dear! We should go home! Then the Monkey King conjured up a carriage and a candle. We sat in the carriage, enjoying the starry night sky with faint light, watching the brightly lit city and listening to the cicadas coming from the mountains in the moonlight, and ended the day happily.
Who do I spend the day with? The moon is round and short, round and short. Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival, which is the tenth Mid-Autumn Festival in my life. Looking up at this bright full moon, I can't help chanting: "Chang 'e should regret stealing the elixir, the sky is high and the clouds are light, and the night is bright." "
Reciting Li Shangyin's "Chang 'e", I think: The Mid-Autumn Festival is a reunion festival. Chang 'e is alone on the moon, and I want to spend an unforgettable Mid-Autumn Festival with her.
The hazy halo of the moon suddenly turned faster and faster, forming a tornado and blowing me to the moon.
"Welcome to my Guanghan Palace!" A beautiful woman in plain brocade came up to me. She had a graceful figure, graceful steps and a high bun. "Are you Chang 'e? "I asked." Yes, thank you for coming to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival with me! "Sister answered with a smile.
"I'll show you around Guanghan Palace first." "Sister Chang 'e is great!" I jumped up. Behind sister Chang 'e, pulling her floating clothes.
In front of me is a palace. When I walked in, a chill came over my face, and I couldn't help shivering. "It's cold. Hold it and you will be warm. " After that, Chang 'e put a little white rabbit in my arms. I said happily, "Is it Jade Rabbit? What a lovely girl! " Sister Chang 'e nodded slightly and took me on a tour. Ah! The walls made of crystal are full of light. The ground is cut with white jade. There is white fog everywhere. I feel like I'm going to be immortal. It's very light to walk there.
I was so happy to spend a day with Chang 'e. When I left, he said to me, "I'll let Yutu take you home!" " I rode on the Jade Rabbit and shouted, "Goodbye, Sister Chang 'e! "
One day, I just got up and saw a desk made of snowflakes and a wardrobe made of raindrops at a glance. What is this? Just when I was wondering, a fairy flew over and said, "Snow White invites you to be a guest." "Really?" I sat on a beautiful unicorn, which was amazing and quickly took me to the palace.
When I arrived at the palace, Snow White came out, and I couldn't help admiring: "What a magnificent building! Such a good unicorn! " Snow White asked me, "Since you like that little unicorn! I will give it to you. " "Thank you, I really like it!"
Snow White took me to see the waterfall. I sat on the air cushion with her and rushed down the waterfall. When rushing down, I saw many small animals accidentally fall down, which is very dangerous! The moment we rushed down, we also shouted "Ah-". Just then, the princess pressed the button against the current, and the air cushion went upstream step by step, so I was not afraid.
Snow White took me to her bedroom again. Wow! This is really a toy world: there are all kinds of robots, dolls and building blocks-we play with toys, fight with pillows, listen to stories, tell jokes and guess riddles-unconsciously, we fall asleep, but when we wake up, something magical happens. I touched my arm, hey! Grow a pair of wings. Snow White and I have a pair of beautiful wings, and we fly around in the blue sky.
I am very happy with my good friend Snow White! So happy!
Who am I with today? One night, I was reading The Hobbit. Suddenly, I felt a magical attraction and sucked me into the book.
When I woke up, I found myself in a garden. In front of me stood an old man, wearing a blue pointed hat, a gray cloak and a silver scarf, with a white beard reaching to the waist and heavy black boots. When I looked carefully, it turned out to be Gandalf in The Hobbit. He whispered to me, "son, I've been waiting for you for a long time." Are you willing to learn magic to defeat Sauron and destroy the ring? " "I do!" I jumped for joy.
So Gandalf began to teach me how to use a wand. I tried to lift it. I rolled up my sleeves, held both ends of my wand in both hands and slowly raised it over my head. Then I began to recite various incomprehensible spells over and over again. After training day after day, I finally became a white wizard. "Son, we are going to Mount Doom now." Gandalf turned around and made a gesture to let me start with him.
We traveled long distances, climbed mountains and mountains, experienced all kinds of difficulties and obstacles, and finally reached Mount Doomsday. I found Soren already waiting for us. Gandalf and I looked at each other, raised our wands and shouted, "Go to hell!" " "Soren was defeated by Gandalf and my magic, and then I put the ring on Mount Doomsday.
Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding ... "Get up!" Mother's crying came from my ear. This was originally a dream. I still remember meeting Gandalf, and I can't forget it for a long time. If I can meet Gandalf again, I will continue to learn more advanced magic from him and strive to become a gray wizard.
Who am I with today? Today, I read a fairy tale called Little Red Riding Hood. I think Little Red Riding Hood is a simple and lovely little girl. I thought to myself, if only I could be friends with her.
I fell asleep thinking about it. who ' s that knocking ? I opened the door and saw a little girl in a red skirt and a red hat standing at the door. Isn't this little red riding hood? I was shocked. Am I dizzy? I invited her in at once, and I gave her all the snacks and fruits. While eating, she sighed and said to me, "It's too dangerous to go to grandma's house in fear." I think I should teach her a lesson, or she will be cheated by the wolf again.
I took out my little blackboard, drew a wolf and said, "This is the true face of a wolf." I drew a white hat on the wolf's head with a white chalk and painted clothes on it. Little Red and Little Red Riding Hood smiled and said, "Is this an old woman?" I said to her very seriously: "this is an old woman disguised as a wolf!" " Don't think she is an old woman just because she looks like her, and don't be deceived by her sweet words. "Little red riding hood nodded his head.
I gave her several suggestions: first, don't ask for other people's things easily; Second, don't eat other people's things indiscriminately; Third, don't believe what strangers say easily. I gave her a lesson for an hour, and she listened carefully. I told her to remember what I said. "Gollum, Gollum" My "lunch bell" rang, and that was my stomach growling. I went to a buffet with Little Red Riding Hood. All kinds of delicious food, after eating, we played games happily together.
Just as we were having fun, someone suddenly shouted, "Get up, lazy pig!" " "I opened my eyes and it turned out that my mother was waking me up. It was a dream.
Who am I with today? In the morning, I was reading at home when a letter flew in. As soon as I opened the letter, it became a door. I was curious, so I pushed open the door and it became a slide. There are handrails and seat belts on the slide. It says, "Please fasten your seat belt and pay special attention to the handrails." As soon as I made these demands, it began to slide. ...
Suddenly, the slide disappeared and I rushed into the water. I swam to the shore and found myself in a forest. A monkey came up and said, "Welcome to Senyue Mountain. My name is three monkeys, and I am the mountain god here. My magic is very strong. I can make plants grow faster. We monkeys are nobles here. Are you hungry? Let's eat wild fruit, and we can play at noon today! "
Before noon, we went to the mountains to eat wild fruits, including red, green, yellow and blue. Red hawthorn is sweet, green hawthorn is bitter, yellow hawthorn is semi-sweet, and blue hawthorn is sour. I eat all red because it is sweet. At noon, I went to an activity. I got five red mangoes by playing with iron rings. I got 100 mango while playing the Bug agent, and I exchanged a lot of small shells. I had a great time!
Playing and playing, in the evening, I went back. I climbed into the cave and went home.
When I got home, the light was on. Today is really a happy day.
Who did I stay with all day? One morning in the summer vacation, I got dressed and went to play with my friends. As soon as I got downstairs, I saw a familiar figure coming towards me. It was leap soil! Young leap soil! I exclaimed. Runtu said, "Let's play together." I said, "Great!
We came to Runtu's home, and Runtu said to me, "Let's go to the seaside first, then play in the mountains, and go to see the melon thorns at night."
We went to the seaside first, and Runtu said to me, "Here is a fishing rod. Let's go fishing on my uncle's boat and go diving later! " "I am very happy to hear this news. I came to the boat and it started. We prepared the bait and started fishing. Soon I caught a small fish. I am very happy. Then we put on diving suits and went to the bottom of the sea. I saw many kinds of fish, including clown fish, octopus, sea cucumber and starfish ... I went back to the shore and said to Runtu, "I didn't expect there to be so many fish at the bottom of the sea." "
We came to the mountain and saw many small animals on the mountain. Runtu said to me, "Hurry, there is an injured bird." We rushed over, bandaged the bird and sent it home. The bird cried as if to say "thank you"
In the evening, we came to the watermelon field. I saw an animal, and so did the soil. I picked up a steel fork and stabbed it, then beat it away. I said, this is Yan. When I see it, I want to drive them away. ...
It's really an interesting day with the company of moistening the soil! I will always remember this day in my heart.
Who am I with today? I finished my homework today and lay on the sofa watching TV. Suddenly, the story of the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon appeared on TV. I can't take my eyes off the TV. There was lightning and thunder on the TV, and I was weak and fell on the sofa. I opened my eyes and found myself in the moon palace.
I came to a small bridge and saw the birds and flowers here. As soon as I turned around, I saw a sister sitting under the osmanthus tree not far from me, and the magpie standing on her shoulder was singing. He is still holding a jade rabbit. Chang 'e has watery eyes, ribbon-like hair, a small mouth and beautiful clothes. Isn't this Chang 'e? I ran to say hello. Chang 'e was not surprised, but also welcomed me to visit. Sister Chang 'e said, "Let me show you around Guanghan Palace!" "good!" I danced with excitement, and I dragged him to Guanghan Palace with my light coat. As soon as I entered the Guanghan Palace, a chill came over my face and made me tremble all over. Chang 'e put a rabbit in my arms and I warmed up at once. My lunch bell rang. Chang 'e gave me a moon cake or something, and I was full immediately after eating it. "This is Osmanthus Jelly." Chang 'e said.
In the evening, Chang 'e brought some food and put it on the grass. We began to eat bread and Baihua dew, and finished eating. I went to watch the moon. Suddenly, a crack appeared on the ground.
Ah! I woke up, it was a dream! I hope this is true.
Who am I with today? 1 1 One day, I fell asleep while watching The Avengers.
I opened my eyes and found myself in an empty place. Then I came to the desert. Panther base is right in front of me. The door opened automatically. Panther came out slowly, put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Friend, come in!" "
Panther is very big, it should be 1.85 meters high! That's awesome!
I entered the base, full of superheroes. After the meeting, Iron Man took me to a restaurant for dinner. Just as I was about to eat, a group of gangsters rushed in to grab money. I picked up a chair and threw it at me. The gangster shot at me, and I shouted, "Ah ..."
Iron man shot with a laser and the bullet turned into powder. Whew ... What a false alarm. I said to Uncle Iron Man, "I want to play, too."
I saw Uncle Iron Man take out a pair of gloves. As soon as I put them on, I put on armor all over. Then Thanos came in, and Iron Man called for help. Thanos took a fancy to me at a glance and charged at me. I shot at it with a laser, but it was useless. Thanos suddenly attacked me, and I quickly stopped it with my hand. I closed my eyes but Thanos didn't hit me.
What's going on here? I suddenly opened my eyes. How can I lie on the bed in my bedroom?
Who am I with today? 12 One snowy morning, I was walking in the street and met a little match girl by accident.
"Hello, little match girl, it's 202 1 year1October 24th. Welcome you! " I said to her excitedly. The little match girl exclaimed in surprise, "Ah! Really? All I remember is that I passed out sitting in the corner and woke up in the middle of the street. " Please come to my house first My family and I will provide you with clothes, money, food and water. In this way, she came to my house. My grandfather enthusiastically said to her, "Hello! Little girl, I'll pour you some water to drink, I'll dress you, and I'll cook you some rice right away. " ..... After that, our family gave the little match girl a lot of money. "Thank you!" She burst into tears at once and was very moved! Then, I smiled and said to the little match girl, "Our teacher will hold a dance competition tonight. You can register voluntarily. I can take you there if you like. " "I want it!" She said cheerfully, "Let's go together!"
In the evening, we went to the ballroom. In the ballroom, we are rehearsing a duet. To my surprise, the little match girl is very talented in dancing, and we are a good match. But an accident happened. I accidentally slipped and hurt my waist. She comforted me and said, "It's okay. Although you don't feel very comfortable when doing forward somersault, as long as we practice hard, we will definitely win the gold medal. " The fierce competition began, and we walked lightly with the music. Soon, many people gave us applause. When doing the forward soft flip, I gritted my teeth and turned over, and finally we won the gold medal.
At this time, she magically disappeared, and I realized that it was a dream.
Who am I with today? The Monkey King is tired of staying in the sky and wants to travel around the world. As soon as I learned the news, I wrote to invite him to see the changes in my hometown.
The Monkey King, who is still dressed up on TV, is driving an auspicious cloud with great energy, which is environmentally friendly and economical, and downhill to the door of his house. I entertained him with exquisite cakes, fresh fruits and West Lake Longjing tea.
Today, my hometown has long been shaded by trees, and the whole town is shrouded in green. Spacious streets, beautiful flower beds and rows of street lamps are neat and beautiful. We walked along the tree-lined path, the birds sang and the breeze blew gently, and we felt very comfortable. The open space is covered with green grass and flowers, attracting butterflies and bees to fly among the flowers. What a beautiful landscape. The Monkey King "tut-tut" praised while watching: "It's so beautiful, so is the celestial world."
We climbed a high mountain, with pines and cypresses everywhere, running water everywhere, birds singing and flowers smelling. Condescending, the rolling mountains are surrounded by the vast sea of clouds, as if walking into a dream, I am really a little high. These plantations were all restored after the promulgation of the national policy of "returning farmland to forests". Looking at this magnificent project, the Monkey King can't help but sigh: "The ability of human beings can't be underestimated!"
I walked with the Monkey King for a day, and he finally said, "These are all fruitful achievements made by human beings in protecting the environment, and I hope to preserve them forever. If there is an opportunity, I will take all the immortals here to enjoy this fairyland on earth.
Who am I with today? 14 The sun shines through the window like a sword, making the room warm. I opened my eyes and saw a door made of clouds and a door made of snow. A wardrobe made of snow and a window made of flowers are just like a fairyland. Look at those clouds, like big and fragrant cotton candy, as if flying in a dream world.
The door opened with a click, and two fairies in blue skirts came in, carried me to the window and said, "Dear girl, Chang 'e invited me to her palace. "How can I fuck a girl all day? Why did Chang 'e invite me to her palace? I followed two fairies to Xiangyun and went to heaven. Soon, I saw a palace ten times bigger than the Bird's Nest in Beijing. I see a beautiful phoenix. "Good girl, you're here. Do you like it? Then send it to you. " Chang 'e slowly walked out of a palace and said. Holding a white and beautiful pet jade rabbit in his hand. "I ..." Before I finished, the phoenix flew down from the tree and touched me with its feet, as if playing games with me.
"Good girl, I'll take you to see the lotus pond!" Chang 'e said to me. Great. What's the lotus pond like in the sky? After a while, I saw a pool of golden lotus flowers, which were held up by dark green lotus leaves dotted with countless pearls, large and small. "Is this a lotus pond?" I asked. "Yes!" Chang 'e replied. Suddenly Chang 'e disappeared, and so did Wonderland. I was so anxious that I shouted, "Chang 'e, where are you?" "Jia Jia, what's your name? It's time to get up. " Mother's familiar voice reached my ears. When I opened my eyes, it turned out to be a dream. I really want to go back to my dream, visit the Guanghan Palace with Chang 'e and experience the life in heaven.
Who am I with today? When I got up this morning, I suddenly saw a letter.
"mortal: hello! I am Pig Bajie. I came to see you today because your parents are going to work. I'll stay with you, I'll be there soon! -Pig Bajie. "
Oh, my God. Did the pig spend the day with me? Just thinking, the door opened and Pig Bajie didn't come in. His stomach came in first, with a gray-black body, a big belly, a small head, a pair of ears bouncing, and a nine-toothed rake in his hand, and his chin almost fell off! I asked him why he came to me, and he said, "My old pig only helps children. When I saw someone today, I came! " "
So, I went to do my homework, writing and writing, and suddenly I heard the sound of "grunting". As soon as I saw it, it turned out that the pig's stomach began to bark. I quickly took out fruit, milk and bread for him. The pig was stunned by the food. He pointed to the milk and asked, "What is this?" I replied: "milk, cows give it to calves." "We are not cows, why should we drink?" "It's delicious!" As I spoke, I unscrewed the lid, and Pig took a sip and said, "Hmm! Delicious! " So he drank it with a thud.
Later, Pig Bajie took me to visit the Heavenly Palace. I met the Jade Emperor, the Monkey King, and Pig Bajie said, "Hum, monkey, this is the child I took care of today!" The Monkey King smiled and said, "Today, you have gained a lot! Not only did I look after a child, but my stomach was much bigger! " Pig Bajie said angrily, "I got up at seven o'clock today (he usually gets up at nine o'clock) and didn't eat breakfast." Can I not be hungry? " I laughed till tears came out, and said, "You two are not only friendly, but also humorous!" " "They also smiled. When the time came, I reluctantly left the Heavenly Palace.
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