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It is said that there is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home. If you want to leave, you have to leave.

It will take 20 years to get there. One day, the penguin stayed at home and was bored. He wanted to play with polar bears, so he went out with him.

Yes, but on the way, I found that I forgot to lock the door. It's been 10 years, but the door is closed.

It still has to be locked, so the penguin goes home and locks the door. After locking the door, the penguin set off again to find the polar bear, and so on.

It took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home ... then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "polar bear, polar bear, penguin is looking for it."

So there you are! "As a result, after the polar bear opened the door, guess what he said ..." Let's go to your house to play ~ "

2.

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

I see. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, I still haven't."

"Oh. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I want two!" "

3.

Ming Dow Jr.: "Kang, let me ask you something." A shark ate a mung bean. What did it become? 」

Kang said, "I don't know. What is the answer? 」

Xiao Ming said, "Hey! Hey! The answer is "green bean paste (mung bean shark)", you are stupid! 」

4.

The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution.

Make the lunch box blue.

5.

One person has a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital and said to the doctor, "I will eat whatever I eat."

muskmelon

Pull watermelon, eat cucumber, pull cucumber! "

The doctor wanted to think, said to him:

"I think you are going to eat shit!"

6.

On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?"

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will flash!" "

7.

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin.

Penguins pluck their hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!"

Hearing this, the polar bear also pulled out his own hair one by one.

Turn to the penguin and say,

"It's so cold!"

8.

There is a loaf of bread. I was hungry when I walked, so I ate by myself.

9.

Q: What do African cannibals eat?

A: people!

Q: Then one day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat?

A: Eat vegetables! ~~

10.

American: Have you ever seen a cup made of wood?

China: No!

American: Then why is the Chinese character "cup" beside the wooden character?

China people: Isn't there a word "no" next to the word "cup"? In other words, it is not made of wood.

1 1.

Small white+small white =?

White rabbits (two) ~!

12.

Q: What happens when a fat man falls from 12 floor?

fat person

13.

When a millionaire drove past a village in a luxury extended Lincoln, he saw two beggars on the side of the road.

Millionaire pulls weeds to eat, and stops the car immediately.

"Why do you eat grass?"

"We really have no money ..." A beggar replied.

"Really, get in the car and go to my house."

"I have a wife and two children at home ..." A beggar muttered.

"Call 1, and the rich man points to another beggar." And you, call your family, too.

Let's go "

"My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children. " Another beggar said.

"It doesn't matter, all call, go to 1.

In this way, two beggars and their families got on the bus, but fortunately it was an extended bus. Exercise path

A beggar's wife said gratefully, "Boss, it's very kind of you to invite even poor people like us."

Go home. The millionaire replied, "Nothing. I just got back from abroad. My house has been neglected. There may be a lawn in the yard.

More than one meter high, you can eat enough.

14.

One day, at the height of the national war, the guild leader came to the grassland front to boost morale. ...

The guild leader asked: What's the situation?

Report to the member archers: report to the head! There is a Bezos archer next to the tent 20 meters ahead, but

His accuracy is poor. He fired many shots these days, but he didn't hit anyone.

After listening to this, the colonel asked: Since we have found the enemy archer, why not kill him?

The archer said: Report to the team leader! No, don't you want them to exchange it for a more accurate one?

15.

Soldier: "Thirst ... Thirst ..."

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a Merlin nearby. Go one more lap.

Yes, it may be here. "

Soldier: "Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh! "

Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink. "

Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."

16.

A girls' school is haunted.

One day I was met by Xiaohong.

The ghost said: junior. . . Look at that. . . I have no feet. . . I have no feet. . .

Xiaohong: That's nothing. Listen, senior, I don't have breasts. I have no breasts.

17.

A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak meet in the street. Why don't they say hello (assuming they can talk)?

because ....................

because ........................

Because they are strangers ~ ~! Ha ha laugh

18.

The little snake asked the big snake brother in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The serpent said, "Why do you ask?

? The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now." "

19.

The tortoise and the rabbit race ... the rabbit quickly ran to the front. ..

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly .. and said to him, come up, I'll carry you. ..

Then, the snail came up. ..

After a while, the tortoise saw another ant and said to him, come up, too. ..

So the ants came up. .

When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and greeted him.

Do you know what the snail said?

Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ...

20.

Every time I see you wearing stockings ...

There will be an indescribable feeling in my heart,

namely ...

Radish is also wrapped in plastic wrap!

2 1.

One day, a mother-in-law took a bus.

Sitting halfway, my mother-in-law doesn't know the way.

My mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this?

Driver: This is my ass.

22.

A: "I'll take you to a place where all girls don't wear bras."

B: "Really? Where is it? Take me quickly! "

A: "It's in the kindergarten next door!"

23.

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, after picking the fruit, we can wash it together, and we can eat it together after washing."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

24.

Bad news: A pilot fell off the plane.

Good news: He brought a parachute.

Bad news: the parachute is broken.

Good news: There is a haystack below.

Bad news: There is a dung fork on the haystack.

Good news: he didn't fall on the dung fork.

Bad news: He didn't fall on the haystack either.

25.

Before eating peanuts, monkeys should put peanuts in their buttocks before taking them out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches.

Son, as a result, the peach stone could not be pulled out, and the monkey was scared. You must measure it before eating now.

26.

Late one night, when a young woman passed by a mental hospital, there was a sudden "wow" behind her. female

I turned my head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman started to run in fear, and the man behind her chased after her.

Give up. There's a dead end ahead. Desperate, the woman knelt on the ground and cried, "What would you like to do?"

Do what you want, just please don't kill me. "The man smiled cunningly and said," Really? So now you're chasing me. "

27.

The new nurse in the mental hospital, this woman is new,

Seeing a patient walking around an ancient well in the hospital, he said, "13, 13, ..." The little nurse was deeply impressed.

Strangely, I can't figure out what "13" means, even after observing it for several days. She always wants to ask questions.

I didn't expect it, but I was afraid of the patient's attack.

One day, the little nurse finally couldn't hold back her curiosity and walked slowly to the patient's side to explore the well.

Wait and see. Suddenly, the patient hugged the nurse's leg, threw it down, and began to read: "14, 14, ..."

28.

The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so I reached out to scratch it and burned myself to death. ...

29.

Asun and appa have nothing to talk about, telling each other that time waits for no man.

A song: "Recalling my childhood, the happiest thing is Children's Day."

Apa: "Youth Day is in ten years."

Song: "Father's Day is in ten years."

Apa: "It will be the days of the elderly in a few decades."

A song: "In a few decades."

Appa: ". Tomb-Sweeping Day. "

There are still a few,

I once went out for breakfast with my classmates. One of my classmates was eating when a dog ran to him, wagging its tail. He looked at the dog for a long time and said, "call dad and I'll give it to you."

The teacher asked for more … more … more … sentences: One person wrote: Anerle toilet paper is drier, cooler and safer.

The teacher asked me to make a sentence with "brand new": a brand new vegetable was born. ...

The teacher is crazy.

One day in math class, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? , I said I don't know. The teacher asked me to ask. I asked my mother who was cooking and said, get out of here. I asked my father, who was watching begging and shouting' Shuang'. I asked my sister, and she sang until the baby. I asked my brother, and he said on the phone, I will wait for you outside.

The next day, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? I said: get out, the teacher slapped me in the face, I shouted' cool', the teacher called me a loser, and I called me mean. The teacher said, get out. I said, I'll wait for you outside. Our math teacher had high blood pressure on the spot and fainted. ...

Later, the school changed a Chinese teacher and asked us to make sentences. I finished my homework calmly. The teacher was very impressed with me, and I wrote a sentence:

Sad-the ditch in front of my house is very sad.

If canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.

Naive-it's really hot today. This is a good day for swimming.

Ten points-it's a pity that my sister only got ten points in the math exam.

Relax, I always start with simple things.

Ginseng-the teacher said that when we take part in the relay race tomorrow, we must try our best.

Lunch-Xiaoming takes defecation as the first thing to get up every morning.

So another Chinese teacher went crazy. ...

The harder it is to cross Vietnam.

On New Year's Day, we suggest that drivers visit the "Ice Toilet" (Terracotta Warriors) in the History Museum.

Get up in the morning to tidy up the "body" (appearance)

The left eyelid kept jumping last night. At that time, I just thought my bra was a bad omen. Sure enough, I was scolded by the teacher today.

When I went shopping on Sunday, I accidentally got caught in my anus (steel door) in a hurry. What bad luck

Very interesting

First, when I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "60 years of hard work, no food to eat, never throwing out snot and feces." .

Second, the boss and the second child flew, and the second child got airsick and kept vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second child said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half of it and throw up."

3. A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . .

4. A rich man wants a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich man sent them away, and only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

On this day, the hotel owner is patrolling the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too?" The beggar said, "Someone threw up and I came late. The first two beggars ate everything they could, and now there is only soup left. " Can you give me a straw?

Six, the boss and the second went to the theater to see the play. When they saw that they were arguing about the plot development halfway, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost and took a sip with a frown. The two went on to bet on the next plot. This time, the second child lost. I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and swallow fifteen mouthfuls in one gulp. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! " "

A man saw a big sale in a shop and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog. ""where is such a rule? " "This is the case with goods on sale. "This man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this shop to buy cat food. " Give me two boxes of cat food. ""We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat. "It's the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still has to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the store with a big cardboard box with a hole and found the salesman. " What do you want? ""Just put your hand in. The salesman put his hand in: "What is this?" Very sticky. "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper. "

Eight, some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. In a fit of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I was just the same.

Nine, Xiaomei especially likes to eat pig blood cake. Every time I see a stall selling pig blood cakes on the roadside, she will definitely buy them. One day, she saw a woman in her sixties selling on the road and went to buy food. After eating, she found that the pig blood cake was extremely delicious, so she wanted to pay her highest respects to her grandmother.

(Answer in Taiwanese) `

May: "Grandma, why does your pig blood cake smell so good?" 」

Grandma: "the materials are very expensive, and they can only be sold for a few days a month." 」

America: "Wow! Where did you get such precious materials? 」

Grandma: "Alas, mine has been used for decades, and now it's old and gone." Now it's my daughter's turn. 」

Beauty: "*&; %@」

10. For the first time, medical students wrapped their bodies in white cloth in real anatomy class. The professor began to lecture. "As a doctor, you must have two important qualities. First, you must not be afraid of nausea. " . After that, the professor uncovered the white cloth, inserted his finger into the anus of the corpse, then pulled it out and put it in his mouth to suck. "Learn to do it," he told his classmates. The students felt sick and hesitated for a long time, and finally they had to do it in turn. When the last person finished, the professor added, "The second quality is observation. I inserted my middle finger, but sucked it. Students, pay attention to observation! "