Ip man 1 joke

Classic funny lines 1. Duan: "This classmate, you are very embarrassed!"

Murong Haiyun: "So what?"

Shangguan: "Still dragging English? I hate it when people speak English to me! "

2. Murong Haiyun: "Oh, buy it!"

Principal: "What are you talking about? I am your God here! "

3. Principal: "Don't look at me so glumly" (opposite paragraph)

Shangguan: "I will give you three seconds to apologize for my shoes!" " "

Murong Haiyun ruthlessly stepped on Shangguan's expensive shoes that vomited blood: "This is the way my shoes apologize to yours!" " "

5. "My name is Li from Bruce Lee, and the dragon is the dragon from Bruce Lee. At this moment, don't think I'm seducing you ... "

(Four men come forward and start beating Li Long. )

Shangguan: "Return it to Bruce Lee."

Ye Shuo: "I'm still Ip Man!" I'm so happy! Sit on the ground! )

Mr. Murong: Maybe someone will say "You are a pig" to you tomorrow!

Chu Xun Yu: Ah! Ah ah! Such an uncreative person, stay away from me if you can. The idea of thinking that you are a pig is a typical manifestation of lack of vocabulary. Do you want me to teach you? You are a pig, which can be extended to mean that you are a wild boar, porcupine, flower pig, light pig, stupid pig, stupid pig, Ukrainian suckling pig and pig. You are a lazy organism, breeding omnivores; You are a desperate and lonely animal under the bright starry sky; Is a stupid pig who can never fly in the blue sky! ! ! ! ! ! !

Murong: She is like a fly. She revolves around you every day. She won't bite you She annoys you!

6. Gu Lan: "Lights out! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "(This sentence is super powerful and explosive! ) ?

7. Chu Xun Yu: "The idea of thinking that you are a pig is a typical manifestation of lack of vocabulary. You are a pig, which can be extended to wild boar, porcupine, flower pig, light pig, stupid pig, stupid pig, black suckling pig and pig eight quit. You are a lazy creature who keeps omnivores in cages! You are a desperate and lonely animal under the bright starry sky! Is a stupid pig who can never fly in the blue sky! ?

8. (Everyone laughs that Xun Yu is a hippo)?

Ye Shuo: "Hippo"?

Murong Haiyun: "Goodbye! Hippo! " ?

Shangguan: "Hippo ... Haha!" ?

Duanmu: River ... Don't care too much about them ...?

9. Teacher: "Don't talk to me in your Australian English! Because I feel very uncomfortable! " ?

10. Haiyun: "I am a stump, not a brain." ?

Chu Xun Yu: "I don't care about you because you are disabled." ?

Hai Yun: "I still don't care about you, because you are brain dead." ?

1 1. Haiyun: "Which one has a secret crush on you?" ?

12. Shangguan: "Hey, I want to say three words to you." ?

Chu Xun Yu: "What are you doing?" ?

Shangguan: "It was you. It's your bad luck to meet me today, Chu Xun Yu, because I have to say three words to you today, and I have to say it ten times?

Chu Xun Yu: I know. Are you a pig?

Shangguan: "Yes. I just want to tell you that you are a pig?

13. Duan and Murong: That idiot ...?

14. Gu Lan: "Dressed like this, you are not a bad person, but also a person with a broken brain!" ?

15. Caiyun: "Smelly boy, I have a lot of people chasing your sister"?

16. (A turtle is stuck behind Chu)?

Murong Haiyun: "Longevity is a blessing! Sister turtle thirteen! " ?

17. Chu Xun Yu: "This dead Tyrannosaurus Rex, if I see it again, I will kill it!" ?

18. Shangguan: "I count to one, two, three. Let's jump together! Three! " ?

19. Hai Yun's followers: "There are good news and bad news ..." (This sentence reminds me of Degang Guo)?

Sea of clouds: "Cut the crap! Good news "

Haiyun's partner: "The good news is that so far, we haven't received any letters from home! The bad news is ... the admission notice ... has been sent to the hospital ... "?

Sea of clouds: "What! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Ah! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "？

20. (in a taxi)?

Hai Yun: "Drive!" ?

Driver: "Where to?" ?

Sea of clouds: "whatever"?

Driver: "Where?" ?

2 1. Principal: "Don't look at me so coldly, I'm colder than you!" It's for Duan again ...

22. Murong Haiyun: "This classmate, it seems that you are not brain-damaged! Can you count to three?

23. Assistant Murong Haiyun: "Xiaohai, I am optimistic about you!" (plus a small Shenyang-style orchid finger ...)?

24. (Ye Shuo wants to find someone to play football with)?

Guo Rongrong: School ...?

Ye Shuo: "What are you laughing at? Can't laugh "

25. Chu Xun Yu: "I can't like a narcissist like you in my last life, my next life and my 800 life!" (Only not in this life! ) ?

26. Chu Xun Yu: "I have seen narcissists, and I have never seen you so narcissistic!" ?

27. Chu: "First, I didn't procrastinate. I was angry. Second, my name is not hello. My name is Chu Xun Yu. Third, if you let me play this boring game again, I will definitely make you into real pigs. Fourth, I am not brain-dead! " ?

28. Murong Haiyun: "Don't you think your head is Nezha? And banana peel ... "?

29. Yu Xin: "It's as good as your hair, you should take care of it with silk protein ..." (This sentence made me laugh completely! ) ?

30. Shangguan: Thanks to my basketball shoes (...)?

3 1. Rain nettle's uncle saw Yu Xin: "Meeting you is as cool as finding a hundred-dollar bill on the ground; Meeting you is like being treated to dinner ... "?

32. Chu Xun Yu: "Such an uncreative person, stay away from me as soon as possible." ?

33. Chu Xun Yu: "Wait a minute, wait a minute, I know you want to fix me, but I'm so tired! Can you spare me! ”？

34. Paragraph: "This is my place, please don't cry here in the future!" Reminds me of the M-Zone ...?

35. Murong Haiyun: "It's the puppy who repents!" ?

Chu Xun Yu: "You are finished!" ?

36. (Murong Haiyun was bitten by Chu Xun Yu)?

Ye Shuo: "Huh? She bit you! ”？

Shangguan: "Chu Xun Yu is a dog!" ?

Ye Shuo: "Hey, let me tell you something. Animal saliva is bacteria. I suggest you take two injections. " (When you speak, you are very serious! ) ?

37. Shangguan: "You (Mr. Murong and Chu) can't have two tigers in one mountain! Do you know? " ?

Ye Shuo: "But! A male tiger and a female tiger are also quite interesting. " ?

38. Murong Haiyun: "Why don't you hit me!" (This sentence is super stupid! ) ?

39. (Ye Shuo and others want to dismantle the headmaster's tires)?

Ye Shuo: "What, to expose us? The principal's office takes the elevator to the sixth floor and turns left to the second room. Don't forget to call to report when you enter the door. " ?

40. (Chu and Xu Lili came to visit God Lin Xiaoli)?

Chu Xun Yu: "Then where did he go?" ?

Xu Lili: "Some people say that he works in MIT, others say that he works in other provinces" (this sentence rhymes! ) ?

4 1. Paragraph: "Sorry, I have a musical cleanliness." ?

42. Murong Haiyun stepped on the stairs and fell?

Xu Lili: Hey ... Look out! ?

Murong Haiyun: "What do you know? This is called not taking the usual road! " I've been laughing all day! ) ?

43. Chu Xun Yu: "I don't want money, I want justice!" This sentence touched me?

44. Chu Xun Yu: "Why do you want to mix with them?" ?

Duan Leim: "Four people are not as boring as one person" (the more you think about it, the more classic it is)?

45. Chu Xun Yu: "Murong, Duanmu, Shangguan, Ye Shuo, you four parasites, idiots who can't live without birdcages, I will curse you to go to hell and never be able to live beyond life!" ?

46. Shangguan: "The most classic of these shoes is graffiti!" (dizzy! ) ?

47. Chu Xun Yu: "Am I in a pigsty or at school?" ?

48. Chu Xun Yu: "Say garbage, garbage is coming!" ?

49. Murong Haiyun: "Look at your dark circles, how round!" ?

50. Xiaoyu: "Why do boys like to play ball? It is better to drink milk tea! " (I pour! ) ?

Paragraph 5 1.: "Don't listen to mp3 here, it will disturb my eyes!" (This artistic technique! Admire you! ) ?

52. Murong Haiyun: "Hey! What are you going to do? " ?

Duan: "Go to the toilet! Big brother! " ?

53. Duanmu: "Big Brother, what opportunities does Thailand have?" (This is Dala! ) ?

54. Murong Haiyun: "Waiter, drink!" ?

Chu Xun Yu: "What to drink?" ?

Murong Haiyun: Pulse?

Chu Xun Yu: "Sold out"?

Murong Haiyun: "Sprite"?

Chu Xun Yu: "Only at room temperature"?

Murong Haiyun: "There is always mineral water! Give me 500 yuan first! " Reminds me of Degang Guo again, he is still 100 yuan! ) ?

55. Shangguan: "Your pen is absolutely wonderful from the same side as this laptop!" (I yelled! ) ?

56. (Chu Xun Yu was fined for running 10 lap in the playground)?

Uncle: "You don't have to run all day today! You can save it and run a little every day. " ?

57. Ye Shuo: "the Monkey King read a spell and cursed himself." ?

58. Murong Haiyun: "She is like a fly. She revolves around you every day. She won't bite you She bothers you! " ?

59. (Murong Haiyun came to Xun Yu, Chu to drink milk tea to make peace)?

Chu Xun Yu: "Don't you have enough trouble?" ?

Murong Haiyun: "Reconciliation, I will continue to drink, you choose!" ?

60. (Let's go and see Murong Haiyun's exam ranking)?

Ye Shuo: "Hey, you did well in the exam this time! Really! " ?

Shangguan: "Not bad!" ?

Duan: "Be happy! Not bad! " ?

Murong Haiyun: "What is there to be happy about? Is it still counting down! " ?

6 1. Murong Haiyun: "Can your reaction be slower? Brain damage? " ?

62. Duanmu: "I'm in good shape today, give them zero eggs!" " " ?

63. Murong Haiyun: "If you want to study me so much, you won't like me!" ?

Xu Lili: "If he were 20 centimeters taller, maybe Yao Ming wouldn't be so famous." I was drinking water and sprayed it all over the floor.

65. Chu Xun Yu: "My car is broken." ?

Teacher: "You can ask the driver to repair it. You can take a taxi to school." ?

Chu Xun Yu: My car, the chain is broken ...?

Chu Xun Yu: "I can ride a bike. You will never see my back! "(What a classic! ) ?

67. Murong Haiyun: "I will never care about Chu Xun Yu again!" (They are all idiots! ) ?

68. (Li Long cheated again)?

Duan: "Are you talking about your mother's illness or your grandfather's car accident today?" ?

69. Chu Xun Yu: "Listening to mp3 is equivalent to dumping garbage into your ears, as if everyone's brain is a garbage dump …"?

70. Ye Shuo: "It is the best policy to collect when it is good!" (that's true! ) ?

Supplement! ! ?

7 1. (opening ceremony)?

Rain nettle handed the washed vest to Haiyun ...?

Yunhai happily asked the rain nettle, "Did you wash this dress yourself?" ?

?

After a while, the rain nettle said, "I washed this with the washing machine." ?

Shangguan and laugh! ?

72. Chu Xun Yu: Is there a number greater than 1?

Murong Haiyun: Yes.

Chu Xun Yu: Do you have a number greater than 10?

Murong Haiyun: Yes.

Chu Xun Yu: What about the number greater than 1000?

Murong Haiyun: Yes.

Chu Xun Yu: What about those larger than 10000?

Murong Haiyun: Yes.

Chu Xun Yu: Is there a fool more stupid than you?

Murong Haiyun: No.

Chu Xun Yu: So are you right or wrong?

Murong Haiyun walks very smoothly. . . . . .

load ......

73. Murong Haiyun: You are so beautiful and gentle. Every time I see you, I feel my life is full of hope. You hide so many secrets, sometimes you get upset, but I know that in your heart, there is deep peace. I-love-love you.

Chu Xun Yu: Why did you write this?

Murong Haiyun: This is my composition! The name is-go to the seaside!

Murong Haiyun: If an apology is useful, why should the police apologize?

75. Yun: There is a kind of love called moving.

76. Ye Shuo: "It's over, the storm is coming."

Shangguan was confused: "Where? Where is it? "

Ye Shuo looked at Shangguan speechless.

Shangguan continued to wonder and repeated: "Where? Where is it? "

Ye Shuo finally pressed down the last straw on Shangguan's head.

That's all. Have a look.