Humorous jokes of internship anchors

Send me a particularly funny joke. Listen to my girlfriend. After the heavy rain, Xiaoling dragged her father's big rain boots to play with water. There is a hole in the rain boots. Xiaoling thought, this is easy to handle. Just open another hole to let the water out. Then, use scissors to make another hole in the bottom of the boot. But the water in the rain boots is accumulating. Xiaoling sighed: How many holes does the water have to open to get out?

Who sent me a very, very funny joke You are really handsome.

Tell me a particularly funny joke. I have two internship colleagues, a man and a woman. We work in a tea bar, and there is a bar next door.

The man asked the woman, are you 98? ( 1998)

The woman said, I'm not from a bar, I'm from a tea bar.

Tell me a joke, especially funny! I'll tell you some stories about white rabbits. I hope the landlord likes it.

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today!" " "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit and threw it behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit and threw the cocaine behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Later, they met a lion who was about to fight.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit and threw the syringe behind him.

Rushed over and gave the white rabbit a good beating.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This * * * rabbit gives me a hand every time she brings * * *.

Running around in the forest like * * *. "

On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home.

On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

* * * If you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will trample you to death!

In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who could find them first.

In front of the first forest is the American police. They first spent a whole half-day meeting to formulate a battle plan and strictly divide the work, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for a carpet search. As a result, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away and the task failed!

Then it's the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent 100 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest. The leader shouted with a megaphone: "Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed, but nothing happened. Flying Tigers entered the forest to search again, and the mission failed!

Finally, there are only four policemen in China. They played mahjong all day, and at dusk, a man went into the forest with a baton. In less than five minutes, they heard the screams of animals coming from the forest. The policeman in China came out laughing and talking with a cigarette in his mouth, dragging a black and blue bear behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Well, please stop playing. I admit that I am a rabbit ..."

The little white rabbit met a wolf while walking in the forest. He came up and put two big ear stickers on the little white rabbit and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat."

Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger. After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. It is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." Tutu said, "So, do you want to be fat or thin?" The wolf listened, his heart sank and he was happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B. He added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tutu asked, "So, do you like plump or slim?" The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear stickers. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."

Bears and rabbits shit in the forest. After that, the bear asked the rabbit, "Have you lost your hair?" The rabbit said, "Don't drop it ~"

So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped it.

A rabbit molested a wolf (this rabbit is very strong).

Then he ran away and the wolf chased him angrily.

The rabbit will catch up with the wolf when it sees it.

He sat under a tree,

Put on sunglasses and read the newspaper.

Pretend nothing happened,

Then the wolf came and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree.

Q: "Did you see a rabbit running past!"

The rabbit replied, "Did the rabbit tease the wolf?"

The wolf shouted, "No way! It's in the newspaper so soon! ! ! "

One day, a little white rabbit came to a shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head: "No."

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

The next day, the little white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

On the third day, the white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shouted angrily, "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with pliers! "

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

The fourth day, the little white rabbit came to this shop again and asked timidly, "Boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said, "No."

The white rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

I don't know how many days later, a little black rabbit came to this shop and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little black rabbit ran away after hearing it.

The next day, the little black rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was very angry: "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with pliers! "

The little black rabbit ran away after hearing it.

On the third day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly, "boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said angrily, "No."

The little black rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

The boss got angry, grabbed the little black rabbit, took out a small hammer and knocked out the little black rabbit's teeth.

The fourth day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked vaguely, "Boss, do you have carrot juice?"

Who can tell me a particularly funny joke? In class, the teacher gave a math problem and said, "Whoever can answer it will be fired." At this time, no one can solve it. The teacher said, "Do you dare to stand up?" The teacher upped the ante when no one answered. The teacher said, "Now whoever dares to stand up and solve it, we will be expelled." Xiao Ming stood up and bravely walked up to the teacher and said, "Sister, please," the teacher said, "Everyone is out of school, and Xiao Ming stays."

Please tell me some funny jokes, classic jokes.

1. My junior took a fancy to a handsome guy in our school, so she stepped forward and accosted others:

Handsome, do you have a girlfriend?

I see.

Then would you mind changing it?

Mind.

Would you mind another drink? & gt

Two months later, the junior successfully took the upper position ~ ~

2. In college, I taught myself. A strange boy stopped me. I asked him what he wanted. He said, "Nothing, you are so white. I just want to see if you look good. "

fall into a faint

After a while, he came over and said, "Do you think I'm black?"

"Black" I said.

He said, "Everyone says I'm black."

Faint again.

I saw a beautiful MM in front. . . . Can't strike up a conversation. . So ... . . . Pick up a brick. . . Last/better/previous/last name

Before. . "Classmate, did you drop this?"

In a Vietnamese restaurant in Connecticut, a handsome waiter asked me, "Are you from China?"

I answered him, and he immediately said "I love you" in Chinese.

I fainted! Then he has been hanging around my desk. He ignored other guests' calls to get the bill. My friend who went to dinner with me was very depressed, saying that she had been to this restaurant n times and had never been accosted. First time here ~ ~ ~

5. A friend's classmate, who wants to soak 1 MM in the evening self-study, goes up and asks, "Classmate, what time is it?"

MM looked at her watch and said, "Half past eight."

The fellow looked surprised and said, "Ah, it's half past eight by my watch. Do you think we are predestined friends? " ? ! "

After laughing, I'll give you a test ...

Who is a kind person? Send me some funny jokes. I sent it to my girlfriend ... 1,

The men's and women's toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who?" . The boy next door replied with a deep and powerful voice: "Lei Feng."

2、

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking * * * passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and gave me two sticks!

3、

In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class fell down.

4、

A person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say, can you be quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him what he was doing, and he replied, I am tuned to vibration now!

5、

Someone was riding a bicycle when he heard a passerby shouting: go, go, go ... I thought, damn it, I can sing: Ole Ole Oh ... I jumped into the ditch without saying a word. Passers-by scolded: Shit! Let me tell you something, Gou Gou, do you still ride horses? ! You deserve to fall to death!

6、

Carp and tortoise go to get a marriage certificate. The clerk asked how old the tortoise was, and the tortoise said: 100. The clerk said regretfully, I'm sorry, according to your family rules, you are underage and are not allowed to get married.

7、

A couple came to the wishing pool. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "What a fucking spirit!" "

8、

A couple are fishing by the river. The lady always quarreled, and after a while the fish took the bait. The lady said, this fish is really poor. The husband said, yes, just shut up.

9、

The science teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again, "Nobody knows?" At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said, "That's because it's calm and naturally cold."

10、

Spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when they express their love. The spider shouted, "Why? Why is this? " The ant said timidly, "My mother said that people who surf the Internet all day are not good people!" " "

1 1、

Xiaoguang is a diligent student. He earns his tuition by winter vacation. Help the butcher cut meat during the day and go to the hospital for internship at night. One night, an old woman had to undergo surgery because of an emergency, and Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room. The old woman screamed in panic: "My God! You are a pig killer. Where are you pushing me?

12、

When a person just got on the plane and wanted to throw up, the stewardess took an empty bag and went to get it when it was almost full, telling him not to throw up. When I came back, I found it everywhere. I asked why, and replied, "I saw it was almost full, and I took another sip, and everyone around me vomited ..."

Ask for a particularly funny joke 1. A person's life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you have worked hard, but all you come out with is fart.

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2. When I was a child, my family was poor and I had no money to buy a bike. I had to take a taxi to school every day. When I was in junior high school, because my grades were too outstanding, the school leaders made me study for two more years. After graduating from junior high school, the high school principal thought I had a future and overcharged me by 30 thousand. In the third year of senior high school, the class teacher thought I had the ability to survive independently and dropped out of school.

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3. Advertisement of a flower shop: Today, the price of roses in our shop is the lowest. You can even buy some roses for your wife.

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The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear * * * inside!

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5. The effect of contraception: if you don't succeed, you will become a "person".

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6. I am not a casual person! But whatever, it is not a person!

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7. Even though you have teeth! Don't feel sorry for yourself, just have teeth! You can dig sweet potatoes, cover your chin when it rains, separate the tea residue when you drink tea, and use it as a knife and fork when you have a picnic. Do you think you are the best?

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8. The family is harmonious, the life is Kangxi, the personality is Yongzheng, the career is prosperous, everything is celebrated, the future is bright, the wealth is Xianfeng, and both inside and outside are in charge, Qian Qiu Guangxu, make public!

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9. I am an onion, standing in the wind and rain, who dares to touch me with soy sauce, X his ancestors! Walk through the south ~ break through the north ~ drink water behind the toilet, run over my leg on the train track and kiss a fool. I've climbed mountains and fought tigers ~ I've practiced martial arts in Shaolin Temple. I often treat Clinton as 250 yuan and feed Sakyamuni to the tiger! There was a dance on the pyramid, and Jesus beat drums on his head.

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10. I am in the Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in the Jianghu!

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1 1. About thong: Before, take off * * * to see * * *; Now, unplug * * * and see * * * ...

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12. Take other people's road and let others have no way out!

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13. I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

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14. Huns are down and out in rivers and lakes, and they can't tell the difference between east, west, north and south. Hit the corner and count the stars on the ground!

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15. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked 19 years too many chefs!

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What is stress?

Wives and children are under great pressure.

What is motivation?

Wife and children are the driving force.

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17. The dormitory brothers decided to impose the following punishment on District Chief Zhang:

Let him hold the telephone pole covered with advertisements of old Chinese medicine, and cry with tears: My illness is finally saved!

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18. It's a manhole plug and a manhole socket!

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19. Go through the ladies' room three times and don't go in!

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20. I, as far as IQ is concerned, 10 brain teasers can get 8 answers immediately; On knowledge, when I was 10, I had been studying for 8 years. There are only 10 minutes left until the paper is finished. I can dictate a beautiful article, record it, change up to eight words, and then I can publish it. As far as memory is concerned, I can only remember 8 of 10 phone numbers once. As for endurance, I can insist on peeing in the morning 10 until 8 o'clock the next night. ......

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2 1. Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of our time every day.

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22. "What is an optimist?" "This ... is like a teapot, it's burning red, and he's still in the mood to whistle!"

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23. I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

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24. The most "damaging" sentence now is: "You are really fucking Japanese."

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No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry!

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26. Deliberate study, deliberate work, deliberate life, and deliberate life like an individual!

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27. Put down your college student's shelf and find a bowl of rice first!

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28. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do!

Ask for a particularly funny joke. Yesterday, a netizen got a job … Today, I saw her signature: I am a competent but incompetent secretary …

Who can send me a super funny joke? Two people suddenly died in a pool of blood. How did they die? The police are still investigating. In the dead of night, Fangfang's mother and Fangfang walked on this road. Fangfang's mother looked back from time to time and was afraid. Just then, Fangfang suddenly said something that frightened her mother: "Mom, look, there are two people on it." "Children talk nonsense, go, go." Her mother quickly dragged her away. This story is widely circulated and many people know it. The reporter went to Fangfang's house: "Fangfang, you said you saw two people there last time. Is it true? " Reporter asked Fangfang. "It's true." She said seriously. "Well, you take me." The reporter asked Fangfang to take him. When she got there, Fangfang pointed to the telephone pole and said, "Look, there are two people." It says, "Take care of public property. Everyone has his own rules. I went to physical education class in junior high school. I was sick that day. I'm a sports commissioner. After everyone lined up, I wanted to give the leave to the PE teacher. As a result, I think it's a dime note. I just realized that I said, "I'm leaving. "One dark night, on the longest and most terrible road, a taxi driver drove by and a woman waved at the roadside. It was quiet all the way until the woman spoke. She said to the driver, "apples are delicious for you ..." The driver felt great and took a bite. The woman asked, "Is it delicious?" The driver said, "delicious! The woman replied, "I remember I liked apples before I died." ... "Wow ...&; * $ # @ ... When the driver heard this, he was scared into an ambulance, and his face turned white ... Only the woman slowly tilted her head to the front and said to the driver, "But I don't like eating after giving birth! ..... "Party A and Party B flew, broke down and landed on a desert island. The chief of the cannibal on the desert island said, "Each of you will take 100 identical fruits and let you go!" "After a while, A first brought 100 strawberries. Chief: "put them all in your nose and let you go!" " "A began to cram for the last minute ... 98 pieces, and nothing happened ... When he stuffed it into 99 pieces, he smiled and said," Hey, hey ... "All the strawberries came out ... A was killed by the chief ... When he got to heaven, the angel asked A," You only need one piece to avoid death, but why are you laughing? " A said, "Because I saw B bring back 100 durians. There are two brothers, one is haha and the other is hee hee. One day, haha died, and hee hee cried sadly, "haha, you are dead, haha!" Ha ha! "Once upon a time, a man named Shuang died, and his family cried sadly, shouting Shuang and Shuang. Others were surprised and asked, "Why are you crying and shouting?"? "His family said' awesome' and' awesome'! It is said that a county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! "Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Stop talking and have a meeting now! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles! "Now, please speak to the steward! The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" " "Comrades, that's enough for today. Let's make a big bowl! ) "No pickles, I'll lick a lump of shit for you. . . "Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. . . It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan and Cao Cao were flying together, and they suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did I find that there were only three parachute bags left on the plane. Everyone is nervous. At this time, Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan and cleared his throat. He said, "well, if the mountain man can answer a few questions, he will skydive, and if he can't answer them, he will jump by himself." Others have no choice but to agree. Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei thought it was very simple and replied, "One." So I took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied: "One." I also took an umbrella bag and went down. Finally, it was Cao Cao's turn, and Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Cao was puzzled and couldn't answer, so he had to jump himself. Unexpectedly, I jumped into the sea and saved my life. Cao Cao secretly rejoiced. The second time, when four people met an emergency by plane, they still discussed it in the old way. Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "Which battle did Zhou Wuwang defeat the crepe king?" Liu Bei thought simply and replied, "The Battle of Makino." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a moment and said, "About 30,000 to 40,000." Zhuge nodded, and Sun Quan went down with an umbrella bag. Cao Cao couldn't help laughing and thinking, "Zhuge Liang, Zhuge Liang, I know everything from ancient times to the present, especially the military." You were planted this time, hehe! " Zhuge Liang asked, "What are their names?" Cao Cao almost fainted and had to jump by himself. Unexpectedly, I jumped into the sea again and saved my life. Cao Cao smiled to himself: "md, I am deadly." Old Zhuge, what can you do with me? " ! "The third time, the same four people flew, and the plane encountered an emergency. Cao Cao thought about it, and Zhuge tried to fool me again, so I jumped myself to avoid being insulted. So I jumped into the air at high speed. I heard Zhuge Liang's laughter from above: "Cao Cao, Cao Cao, you are so smart, haha, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" " Cao Cao fainted with a "ah-".