Funny quotations from short messages.

Quotations are the most familiar ones in study, work or life. Quotations are short and pithy, and do not emphasize literary talent. What kind of quotations are classics? The following are the funny quotations of the whole person's short message I compiled for reference only, hoping to help everyone.

1 1, I waited for a long time and my salary went up; After studying for a long time, property prices have fallen; I bought it for a long time and won the lottery; After thinking for a long time, my daughter-in-law has; It's been a long time, and your holiday has come. I forgot to tell you that the above is a gift for April Fool's Day.

Sunshine is everywhere, just like I miss you everywhere. It is a kind of happiness to miss you. It is sweet to miss you, especially when I am hungry. All I can think about is: it's time for you to invite me to dinner!

3. There is a tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, a longing called longing, and an idiot who will finish reading the message!

4, April Fool's Day, fool you, how can I be "stupid"? To tell you the truth, I am "stupid" and unhappy! In order to be "stupid" and have fun with you, I am "stupid" and have been a friend for many years, so I advise you: Happy April Fool's Day!

When you receive this message, is your mind full of question marks? Are your eyes full of exclamation points? Is your heart full of countless ellipsis? Yes, I'm just teasing you! Because, I want to wish you a happy April fool's day!

6. Someone told me, "You are as smart as a pig." I was furious after hearing this! I understand you! So polluted! I'm sorry, pig

Dear, whenever I lie in your warm arms, I hope that time can stay in this happy moment, but I can't stop the passage of time. Now I have to leave you, dear, in the quilt!

8. If you love me, treat me well. If you never loved me, make it clear, I can understand. If you have to ask me if I love you, then I can tell you, in fact … I have never loved you!

9, the heart of fools is indispensable, and the heart of preventing people is indispensable. Today is my treat! By the way, today's April Fool's Day, don't trust anyone who invites you to eat, drink and have fun, and ignore anyone who invites you to work overtime for a meeting. This is a lie! Trust me!

10, April Fool's Day, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool, fool is fool.

1 1. Last night, I had a dream that you fell into a smelly toilet. After climbing up, you actually said: I was so happy at last, even the toilet was delicious.

12, I thought I knew you the first time I saw you. I have never said anything so certain. You may not believe it, but it's true. You really look like my ... lost pig!

13, if someone misunderstood you, I will defend you; If someone slanders you, I will help you clarify; If someone wants to take advantage of you, I will be rude to him. If someone wants to hit you, I will … cheer for him!

14, I really want to leave this world with you and live in a secluded place with clear mountains and clear waters. Just you and me, there is a piece of green grass in front of us. Lie on the grass when you are free and watch you eat grass gently!

15, experts recently invented a multi-purpose computer disk, which is called floppy disk when it is soft and hard disk when it is vertical. After taking off its coat, it can become a CD.

16, diamonds are priceless and will be treasured for a lifetime. I'm honored to inform you that signing for the express delivery from a friend will give you an unexpected surprise-a two-carat diamond ring gift! Happy April Fool's Day! Auspicious express sincerely wishes you.

17, the simplest IQ test, please see the following paragraph: sister, go forward boldly! The river flows eastward. Wow, the stars in the sky join Beidou! Those who have music hum can go to the hospital for psychiatric registration in the near future!

18, kind-hearted, smart-headed, handsome, rich in connotation, serious in attitude and persistent in character. Alas! Do you still want people to live? You didn't say any of this. Oh, I wish you happiness!

19, to tell the truth today, I already have her in my heart. Beauty, gentleness and kindness have been in my heart for a long time. Now we are going to get married and live happily as a family. Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, fool, you are her in my heart. Happy April Fool's Day!

20. Measure windows, beds and walls. Jump on the bed and measure the bed against the wall. The wall is longer than the bed, the bed is longer than the window, the window is longer than the bed and the bed is longer than the wall, so the wall is longer than the bed. If you don't study hard, you will hit a wall.

2 1, forward this message 3 times, and you will be lucky; Forward it 6 times, make a sentence, and you will be official; Forward 10 times, and you will be lucky; Forward it 20 times and it will cost 3 yuan! Happy April Fool's Day.

22. If you receive this message, which proves that your mobile phone has been infected with virus, please immediately take out your mobile phone card, load it into the card reader, insert it into the computer, and kill the virus with anti-virus software.

23. Warning: You are not sleeping correctly at this time. For your health, please get up and go back to sleep.

24. Prompt for free phone call: When there is an incoming call, press 54sg before the second ringing, and then press power off. At this time, the call is free.

25. I saw you put your hand into the price detector in the supermarket the other day, showing 8 yuan of pig's trotters. You thought there was something wrong with the machine, so you stuck your head in it. I almost died laughing: pig head 18 yuan!

I've been meaning to ask you a question, but I'm afraid to ask. Especially on quiet and lonely nights, so many thoughts make me insomnia, so I want to send a text message to ask you … do you still wet the bed?

27, killing time by SMS is called faith; It's indifference to accept only letters; Crazy anger is called ADHD; The wrong object is letter harassment; The problem of receiving and sending is signal dysfunction.

28. It's late at night and people are quiet. If you haven't slept, please go to sleep quickly. If you fall asleep, turn over and go back to sleep.

29. I sent you this ten-cent message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime message is my holiday gift to you. Don't forget to invite me to dinner tonight.

30. Hello, dear user, we have received your message, and we will deduct 20 yuan from your phone bill. Thank you for your support for charity! thank you

3 1, people are really tired when they are alive. They stood up and wanted to sleep. They have to wait in line when they get on the bus. Eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, and working is very tired. Alas, there is a charge for sending messages to dogs. Happy April Fool's Day!

32. Today, you woke up with a mosquito lying beside your pillow and a suicide note beside you: I struggled all night, and your impudence made me ashamed to live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I killed myself. Happy April Fool's Day!

33. Emergency reminder: There may be tornado weather in the near future. When you go out, you must carry two dumbbells weighing 10 kg with you to avoid being blown to the west by strong winds. Those who weigh less than 50 kilograms must be doubled. Seismological station forecast: There will be a slight earthquake from tonight to tomorrow morning. For your safety, please sleep under the bed tonight, cover yourself with a quilt, put a toilet on your head and put a straw in your nose.

34, nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I'm telling you, it's okay. You didn't press a fart! Happy April Fool's Day!

35. Do you know? I think about you day and night. I want to eat, sleep and work. I really want to say to you: pay back the money quickly! Happy April Fool's Day!

36. Everyone praises you for being handsome, but people say you are weak! Everyone regards you as an idol, which means you are just the object of spitting! I really don't know if you mistook April Fool's Day for April Fool's Day, or because you are worried that no one will celebrate April Fool's Day!

37. Friar Sand said I changed 16! Bajie said I had 32 changes! Wukong said I had seventy-two changes! Tang Priest was furious: I didn't see a phone call on my way to the Western Heaven. Monsters read short messages on their mobile phones! Happy April Fool's Day!

38. Summer weekend, hot summer, scorching sun, I miss you very much. I feel hot and dry when I think of you. I especially want to meet you when it is hot and dry. As soon as I saw you, I couldn't wait to jump into your arms … my dear swimming pool!

39. This short message is a good thief. I have no worries when I receive it, less pain when I read it, high salary when I forward it, and I can take orders in groups. The content is: April Fool's joke, it is very important to grasp the scale. Just be sincere and happy!

40. The five internal organs belong to five elements, the liver belongs to wood, the heart belongs to fire, the lung belongs to gold, the kidney belongs to water, and the spleen belongs to soil. I did the math for you. It turns out that your five elements are short of fire and gold. No wonder you haven't invited me to dinner for so long. So you are heartless! Ha ha!

4 1, the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing gently, the willows are shaking their branches enthusiastically, the peach blossoms are emitting charming fragrance, and the stream is singing cheerful songs. What I want to say is … Work hard, the boss is coming!

42. You are working, aren't you? Are you tired? There is one thing that I have been holding in my mind for a long time. After careful consideration, I decided to tell you. What I want to tell you is that … there is still some time before work.

43. Wooden furniture, scholars know poetry, people think about money, talents practice, women want figure, geniuses send messages, and fools read text messages. Happy April Fool's Day.

44, you are angry like an angel; You dance like a swan stretching yourself; You walk like a mandarin duck doing sports. Your charm hides a knife, and your charm is better than a cat; To tell the truth, you are as beautiful as a demon! Happy April Fool's Day!

45. I don't know if I love you in my last life, and I can't guarantee that I will love you in my next life, but I swear to you that I will love you forever in this life! Really! If I don't have you in my life, I really can't live … rice!

46, you are a dark horse, stand out from the crowd; You are a white horse with an enviable princess; You are a swift horse, and a young man gallops a thousand miles with success. I will always like you, especially the feeling of holding you. Happy April Fool's Day!

47. China mobile communication users: Recently, due to debugging the network, if your mobile phone has no signal or cannot be connected, please drop it as hard as possible, and it will return to normal after repeated times.

48. Poor mobile phone user, it's a pity that you are infected with April Fool's Day bacteria because you confirmed this short message. Now the bacteria are wearing uniforms, full of energy, neatly arranged, and walking through your body with vigorous steps. ...

Dear users, according to reliable information from the Meteorological Observatory, if you shake a big tree hard tonight, a lot of dollars and hundred-dollar bills will be thrown at you. New and old customers who want to get rich should pay close attention to it.

50. I ran into you and was at a loss. I can't avoid your affectionate eyes. I know your heart. I ran as fast as I could, but you followed me closely. I cried, "Whose dog is nobody's business?"

2 1, the sea, full of water! Good horse, it has four legs! Chili, it's really hot! Idiot read the message, it's grinning!

2. When the cloud passes by, it's my' trace' of missing you; That's how I miss you when the light shines; When it rains, it is evidence that I miss you; When it thundered, I prayed to heaven that you were struck by lightning!

I'm sorry to send you a message so late. If you feel troubled, I want to tell you ... what a suck! Who told you to go to bed earlier than me, hehe!

I want to say goodbye to you. I am sad to see innocent written on your face. Why did I choose deeply, but I had to give up in a hurry? I want to keep you around forever, but my mother said "pigs are not allowed in the city"!

5. abandoned? Being bullied? Homeless? Don't be sad, don't be discouraged, even if the whole world dislikes you, at least there are us, the state-owned pig farm-your warm home.

6, others are a flower inserted in cow dung, you are different ... you are a pile of cow dung poured on the flower!

7. Don't move. Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left and women stand on the right. Standing among perverts, talking about you and reading text messages!

8. ah Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible. Let me bite you hard, dear-braised pork!

9, guessing: a bamboo in Hanshan Temple, unintentionally flying, a bit of affection, a bird flying by the swan pool, a cup made of gold. A: When you gave me the money.

10, the tea should be strong and tasteless. If you are drunk, you never want to wake up. Pig's trotters should have thick skin and thick meat. Hey, this one with a mobile phone is good!

1 1. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, you commanded the whole army, covered with pots, covered with sacks, pedaled with canned food, and held Chinese cabbage in your hand, shouting, Who has duck feathers and goose feathers to sell?

12. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Qiao Nina. She fell in love with a girl named Shade. They look at the stars together. When the meteor crossed the sky, they named it Jonina Shading Star.

13. Promise me to take good care of myself. No matter what happens, I will be calm. No matter what I do, I will make up my mind. I will be optimistic whenever and wherever I meet. No matter who I meet, I won't tell him that you are crazy.

14, when you see this message, you are already in trouble; Deleting text messages is a disaster; Reply to the text message, you owe me my life; If you don't reply to the text message, you will embark on the road to death.

15, when I turned to leave, you cried helplessly and tore your heart out behind me, making me suddenly understand how much I love you. I suddenly turned around and cried and hugged you and shouted, I'm not selling this pig!

16. When our hair is white, our teeth are loose, our eyes are blurred and our skin is wrinkled, can we still keep in touch? I tell you, even if my memory is vague, I must remember you-an idiot.

17, when I was down and out, you were by my side; You were by my side when I was sick and injured; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side. It's really unlucky to be with you!

18, when a person does a good deed, he must understand that giving is gaining, so please do a good deed ... lend me some money!

19, wait for a subway, five minutes; Watch a movie for three hours; Full moon, January; Spring goes and spring comes, one year; Miss someone for life. But if you care, just say: it's cold, put more grass in the pen.

20. When we are rich, we will go to health every day. As thin as you want, as big as you want. Buy two VIP cards at a time, one for the upper body and one for the lower body.

2 1. When the phone rings once, it means I miss you. When the phone rings twice, it means I love you ... When the phone rings seven times, it means: Where have you been? Don't answer the phone if you need anything.

22. The melon at the foot of Dongshan Mountain is called white gourd, the melon on the West Lake is called watermelon, the melon outside Nantianmen is called pumpkin, and what about the melon on the sand beside Nice Lake? Idiot, "good fool"!

23. It is said that meteors are responsive! If I can, I'd like to wait under the starry sky until a star is touched by me, breaking the silent night sky for me, and then with my blessing, let it fall on your sleeping pillow-crush you to death!

24. Seven precepts after meals: First, quit smoking; Second, give up eating fruit immediately; Third, stop loosening your belt; Drink tea immediately under temptation; Fifth, quit; Sixth, quit bathing immediately; Seventh, stop sleeping at once! Bajie: Do you remember?

25, the wind is drizzling and the rain is fluttering, and the meniscus is hooked. You push the ebony chariot, and your hair flies in the drizzle. Suddenly you stop the chariot, glare ahead, and suddenly shout at the sky: collect junk.

26. You borrowed a dress from Baiyun, borrowed wings from a bird, flew up to me and told me that a bird man is like this!

27. I will follow you wherever you fly; No matter where you run, I will chase you. Then I'll kill you-a dead fly.

28. Lovers should choose tenderness as water and sweetness as honey; Opponents should choose smart, capable and powerful; Colleagues should choose hard work and have no temper; Friends should choose the pig's head and dog's brain with a runny nose. Stop looking and wipe your nose.

According to your birthday, you are sure to make a windfall today. Blow an explosive hairstyle first, wear patched clothes, hold a wooden stick in your right hand and a porcelain bowl in your left hand, and walk along the street, muttering "Be kind".

30. I miss you during the day, miss you at night, miss you when I eat, and dream about you when I sleep. I can't go during the day and I can't sleep at night. It's very painful. When can I get your ... 5 million prize?

3 1. Love you the most in my life. In the next life, you are a fish, I am water, you are a flower, I am a gardener, you are a turtle and I am a hammer.

32. Others have a big bouquet of roses, but I am ashamed. I have a cactus. I hold it and summon up courage to say three words to you: "sit on it!" " "

33. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; Not every tree can be thirsty, but poplar can; Not every pig can get a text message, but you did it!

Don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang. Believe it or not, bin Laden is my uncle. First bomb and then poison, the United States has to take it. If you refuse to accept it again, your account will become a pig!

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