A joke about a man not going into the water.

One day, I opened the canteen water and accidentally spilled it on my hand.

A MM behind me took my hand and asked with concern, "Your hand didn't burn, did it?"

Although it hurts, in order to show my manhood, I just bite my teeth and say, "Nothing, nothing." Pretend nothing happened.

MM suddenly turned to the people waiting in line behind her and said, "Go home, the water hasn't boiled yet."

2

Mother snail said to the little snail, "You are not young either. Tomorrow I will take you to the village next door for a blind date. "

Snail: "Mom, I'm only 12 years old, and I haven't reached the legal age for marriage yet!" " "

Mother snail said, "Son, when we get there, you will be big!" " "

three

Queue up in front of the supermarket checkout counter to pay. Seeing how fast the cashier moved when she typed the order, I was dazzled and couldn't help muttering, "You moved so fast that I didn't see how much you charged."

The cashier smiled and said to him, "I think of you." Payment is like an injection. The faster you move, the less you will feel pain. "

four

When the head teacher visited the classroom, he found a few lines engraved on an empty desk. He is very angry!

The head teacher asked the students next door, "Who wrote this?"

The student leaned down and saw that it said "Farewell to Cambridge" and said, "This was written by Xu Zhimo."

The class teacher said angrily and loudly, "Tell Xu Zhimo to come to my office this afternoon!" "

Xiao Ming: "Dad, why does the emperor call himself the son of heaven?"

Dad: "Because the emperor thinks he is the son of heaven."

Xiao Ming: "Then you are grandma's son, why don't you call yourself tits?"

Dad: "........."

The manager of the company asked people to hang the slogan "Do it at once if you want" on the wall, hoping to inspire employees.

After a while, a friend of the boss asked him how effective this measure was.

The boss said in distress situation: "The cashier ran away with 654.38+ million, the office director eloped with my female secretary, and dozens of employees asked for a raise together!"

seven

Female cashier: "supervisor, it's so late, I'm afraid to withdraw money."

Director: "No way, this fund is a bit urgent."

Female cashier: "What if a gangster grabs the color?"

Director: "You take the flashlight."

Cashier: "What's the use?"

Director: "Please look at your face when you meet a gangster."

eight

A robber sneaked into a jewelry store, pointed a pistol at the boss and said, "Give me the ring, hurry up!" " "

The boss was scared to death and handed a diamond ring.

The robber looked at it carefully and shouted, "I have to convince my fiancee that I bought it!" " "

nine

I wanted to invite a female friend to pick strawberries the other day, but she refused.

I asked her inexplicably, "Why?"

She looked at me and said firmly, "I can't climb trees!" " "

10

It is said that a college girl broke up with her boyfriend and said, "I found another boyfriend in the physical education department." We have been dating for a year, and you have to give me 2K for the loss of youth. "

Boys are afraid of their "new boyfriend in the sports department" and want to find a way to vent their anger.

On the day of payment, both the girl and her new boyfriend were present. The ex-boyfriend brought 10 boys, and each of them came over and gave the girl 200 yuan.

After three or four months, the girl cried and her new boyfriend broke up.

1 1

A little girl called the radio station and ordered a song for her mother.

Moderator: Why do you want to order songs for your mother?

Little girl: Mom works hard every day and can't have a good rest on Sundays. She needs to find me various exercise books.

The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good boy of her mother. So I asked what song I wanted.

Little girl: "Why do women embarrass women?"

12

One day, just after work, my five-year-old daughter came over and asked me to play games with her.

I am very tired and want to send her away as a joke: "Come on, let's play the game of dad hitting his daughter".

The daughter jumped up: "OK, I'm going to be a father!" " "

13 forum landlord: When you were a child, did you fantasize about what kind of scenes would make you shine in front of everyone when you grew up?

Forum bench: Pick a cart of dung and go to the street to see who is not pleasing to the eye and throw it at him head-on!

14

A little mouse on the cliff waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. Next to Mother Bat, she looked at her head and said worriedly, Dad, don't tell her, it's not ours.

15

It is raining. Many people in the mental hospital bathed in the rain with towel soap, and only one person watched alone on the windowsill.

The dean asked happily, "Why don't you go?"

The psychopath said, "Those fools are very stupid. I'll wait until the water is hot! " "